K9 Conversations

1. On the topic of capital punishment that took a little twist:

You know I feel that capital punishment is ok for pedophiles..

Yeah I can see that, that’s fine with me, they can die by lethal injection.

Know what’s weird? How come most pedophiles are men? you rarely hear about a woman molesting children.. That’s psychological gender difference right? Most of the cases you hear about involve a man molesting children… but it’s never like a woman would go and grab her stepson or her daughter and do wicked things to them..

Well how about these sexy 23 year old female teachers molesting their male students in junior high and high school.. how about them? Are they fair game under capital punishment laws?

That’s not molesting.. You’re just cockblocking.. Don’t playa-hate on the little man.. ‘nuf said..

I think so..

2. Conversations with our resident MD back for a week:

So what’s new in the world of medicine.. How’s the hospital?

I just finished doing rectal surgery, I’m done with assholes..

Amen brother, amen..

I had this one case where the ER doctor tried to pin an impacted patient on me.

What the hell is that?

Well it’s basically when a patient gets way too constipated and even enemas don’t work.. We call it impacted (backed up), meaning a manual extraction of excrement is required..

Wait you mean?

Yeah, rubber gloves, insert hands into the rectum and extract whatever’s blocked up in the lower intestines.. they tried to pin it on me, but I sidestepped that one..

That’s a relief, what do you have next?

Breasts, I’m doing breasts next… no more assholes for me..

Looking forward to hearing about mammaries and areolas..

3. A slightly inebriated afternoon conversation after walking into a friend’s living room:

Look, look at him passed out on the couch in front of the TV.. we should do something to him.

What do you want to do?

Go get some tissue paper and some moisturizer. And leave it next to him..

Then what?

Then we flip the channel to hardcore gay porn and hide the remote control, minus the batteries. Either he wakes up and freaks out looking for the remote control, or his pregnant wife walks in on him passed out from masturbating to porn. Whatever the outcome, we win either way.

Yeah lets do it.. wwwaaaiitt.. just a minute.. all fun and games aside, he is the revenge specialist. Remember what happened to ustaz. He’ll get you back when you least expect it. He lives for revenge, we’re basically giving him the opportunity to let his twisted revenge oriented brain run free. If we cross this line, there’s no turning back.

Vodka tonic before we mull over our fate?

Now you’re talking

of the Week

Outcome of the Week
The Arsenal lost the champions league final.. in a bout of bad refereeing the gunners managed to hold onto their lead for the first 75 minutes; but being a man down and playing against Barcelona in such a high intensity game, we could not hold that crazy Swede Henrik Larsson.. The lads played their hearts out and my phone never stopped ringing last night with acknowledgements of awe about our spirit.. I am slightly bitter, but this will pass (would’ve liked to come to the office with a reason for bags under my eyes). Some people might rejoice in the fact that my team lost, to you people: up yours (you know who you are), actually I’m pretty fine, if my favorite team wasn’t going to win the Champions League final, my second favorite team winning it is the next best thing. For all you distraught Arsenal fans: our squad was primarily made up of under 25 year olds and we went to the final, we played our hearts out and we’ve made a boatload of money. They called this our transition year, our youngsters took us to the final and we’re gonna play in the tournament next year again, I’ll accept that. Barsa: Although I’m still not convinced of Frank as a coach, it’s about time this team stood up and accepted the title of the best in Europe. (Deco’s a champion, everywhere he goes, he wins it all & kudos to Ludovic Guily: he deserved that medal more than anyone else – just cause he never had his chance against porto two years ago). I upheld my end of the celebrations and lamentations: Breakfast has been served, everyone ate, I am the benevolent football fanatic.

Official announcement of the Week
This morning was the official start of summer for me.. I could feel it coming: the heat, the shorts, the humidity.. but today was the official mark of the season in my book because I loaded the car with some classic summer tunes.. listening to 10cc, Wham, Miami Sound Machine, B-52s, some classic Santana, and so much more (I know, incredibly cheesy, but the thing is you cannot beat rhythm is gonna get you…) I don't understand it, but i associate summer music with Miami in the 1980s a la anthony montana. The short sleeve summer shirts are coming out, the slippers and flip flops are out, the swimming trunks, towel, t-shirt and goggles are in the car.. anyone up for the beach on Saturday? I don’t like Cricket!!! Ohno.. I LOVE IT!!

Musical discovery of the Week
I discovered something new the other day and am interested to find out more.. I heard about Juma Sultan, a famous jazz Percussionist who’s played with the greatest of the greatest. He was also a member of the short lived, Gypsy Suns and Rainbows, Jimi Hendrix’s band.. Their biggest concert was at Woodstock in 1969 (yes, the Woodstock). The only reason I’m so surprised and interested, is that Juma, is such a Khaleeji (Arabian Gulf) mainly Bahraini or Kuwaiti name.. Juma moved to the states in 1965 (doesn’t say from where), and he played the congas, bongos, piano, saxophone, baritone saxaphone, and a few others.. That is just so unbelievably awesome.. Jimi Hendrix, the greatest of all time, had a guy named Juma banging on some bongos for him.. I don’t know but this guy sounds like he could’ve been from this part of the world. I’ve already met Mirza Al Sharif (famous Bahraini Percussionist who played with Santana), now I’m curious to find out about Juma.. if you’ve got info, pass it on.. Apparently Juma was the guy that introduced Jimi to Buddy Miles and Miles Davis.. now that’s pretty cool.. “milo, meet jimi, jimi milo. solid.“

Random discovery of the Week
I don’t like mushrooms on my cheeseburgers.. I like mushrooms on my pizza, in my pasta, in my dishes, even raw in my salad.. but mushrooms on my burger never work out right for me.. I can do mushrooms in my steak and cheese, but not in my burger.. I think the problem is that when they pile on the sautéed mushrooms, they never properly get dispersed on your burger, leaving you with mushroom bulges under the bun (that just sounded funny rereading it).. Grilled onions on my burger, now that’s a completely different story.. Completely different story..

Khhotness of the Week
Chai Karak drinkin’, vice pink dress wearin’, multi-national cell phone luggin’, no chicken eatin’ babes.. yeah…

post worthy?

Random thought of the day

What if two identical twins married two identical twins.. rod and tod married ally and sally.. and now both couples had children.. would the kids look exactly the same? I mean is that even a possibility? Would they be couswins? Has this ever happened? I'm sure it has.. Then what would happen with the parents, would the children be able to tell their parents apart? Would the parents be able to spot their own kids? Am I just aimlessly wondering about stupid things? Can someone answer my question?

A battle of epic proportions

While in the shower scrubbing myself up this past weekend, I noticed something in my peripheral vision, something big moving about on the shower curtain rail… I look up to catch sight of a medium sized, nay, it was a giant spider pausing to size me up.. After initially getting my spiderman dream out of the way (getting bit by the spider and getting superhuman powers), I decided it would be best to tackle this issue while there was no soap in my eyes.. once done with my shower, I stepped out to see where the vile beast was, only to find him guarding my exit, hanging around the door with his fangs ready for war.. There we were, me, naked dripping water on the tiles looking for my weapon of choice, and he suspended there waiting to pounce, preparing his venom for the skirmish. And then calling upon the spirit of my ancestors I prepared for battle, I reached for the box of tissue paper and dealt him the whack of all whacks.. Spider juice splattered the door as my enemy fell to the ground, his 8 outstretched legs now squished and his entrails breathing the open air.. in my naked victory, I saw it fitting to celebrate king kong style grunting and beating my chest as my opponent lay motionless on the cold tiles.. opening the door I continued my naked grunting parade into the bedroom to scare off any other giant monstrous creatures considering interrupting my shower.. and then I realized that I had gotten water everywhere and the balcony curtains were drawn..

In honor of all things facial

Laugh the headline off a bit.. All right, back to it – Apparently May is moustache month.. I'm thinking about shaving off the goatee and keeping a handlebar moustache.. or maybe a general lee, maybe a musketeer would be cool… although Saudi 80s businessman is a great look too.. hmm.. just do this, love thy stache.. treat it with care.. and if you haven't groomed it in a while, go and give it a new look.. I hear the musketeer is making a big comeback (I'm just trying to instigate)..

An announcement regarding Pearl Jam

I gave them a chance over and over again, I tried, but I'm gonna go out now and say this: Pearl Jam are overrated... Eddie Vedder, I liked you more when you drank and were a reckless misunderstood rambler. If you love Pearl Jam, let me say this: At one point in my life, I loved Pearl Jam too.. their first 2-3 albums were some of the best tunes that defined my growing up years. Nothing sounded better.. then album after album they started sucking, and when I mean sucking, their music quickly became some of the worst buys I ever made (and I've made some horrible music purchases over the years). I gave them every opportunity to win me over, I bought their cds, I listened to their new releases, but was just continually disappointed hoping for the next cd to be good. and then a couple of months ago, I read with great big hopeful eyes how Eddie Vedder came out to tell everyone the old Pearl Jam were back.. they were back to being angry and that the music on the new album was going to rock again.. and then do you know what happened? I bought the cd and realized that Eddie Vedder was a lying sack of shit. Their music hasn't changed at all, there was nothing radical about their sound.. it was like they were still regurgitating the same crap of the past couple of albums with a twinge of the old Pearl Jam.. you guys may be angry, but lay off the green tea, go hit that bottle of Jack Walker Black (when you know him as long as we have it's jack) and come up with something ballsy.. I will subject myself to another three listens to your cd, if you have not changed my mind then, I will never buy another Pearl Jam CD as long as I live (well unless it's really good and it's confirmed to be really good)..

The final update

Since moving to my new digs at work, my coffee machine was out of commission for the longest time. Last night I stopped off at the super and went on a cube provision restocking frenzy in which I procured some fingerlickin' lavazza for the machine. This morning I decided it was time to get ol'krups back on the wagon, and you know what? she's purring like a kitten. so yes i'm back on the perked up and slightly wired java-train. now all I need to do is learn how to make a good cappuccino –'cause there's nothing finer than fixing a woman a good cappuccino and watching her drink it..

Wisdumb

A bunch of people all over the world were requested to provide some valuable nuggets of wisdom. Some people sent some very thoughtful and chicken soup for the soul stuff, some motivational talk, some philosophical mumbo jumbo, some downright insane, and some quite educational. I’d like to add a statement here by saying that these lines of wisdom were directly pasted from whatever the person sent me, no editing or censoring took place, you cannot hold me accountable for what’s written here, unless you like it, then it was totally my idea to bring these thoughts together. So without further ado, I present to you a global project here on Bahraini Rants entitled: Wise Words of Wisdom from Random People.. enjoy..


Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Nobody scratch your back, but your own nail.

He who is shy does not bring children.

Cupcakes are like hugs -- with icing!

When a guy is 16 17 and 18 he MUST do the things a 16, 17 and 18 year old does. If he doesn't he will wind up doing them when he is 30.

Insomnia can be easily remedied by drinking a warm glass of milk and jumping.

Never play 'mouse caught in a mousetrap' with your penis.

What would you do if you weren't afraid? Now go do it!

Don’t brush your hair and then put a turtleneck on immediately after.

Make mistakes faster.

Never play tag with a paraplegic; it’s just not fair.

life . . . live it!

People who know how to eat sushi don't order California rolls.

Pus somewhere + pus nowhere = pus under the diaphragm.

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

If you're gonna play with the stapler then at least don't keep your finger between the claws.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

If in Prague and you're talked into getting in a taxi solo at 4am heading to an unknown destination.. use common sense and jump out if the vehicle starts reversing down an alleyway.

No fear…if you do it, are you going to die?

Sex alleviates the tension caused by love.

run everyday, eat your veggies, but don't miss out on coffee and chocolates.

If people are going to start telling the truth around here, I'm going to bed.

Without information, you are nothing.

I'm a veteran. I've seen hobos miss the train, cats miss the rat, monkey miss the branch.

Oddly, life is much like a house; the view changes from where you stand and the world depends on where you place your windows.

Never go to pay your respects at a funeral after a three-martini lunch.

Timor-Leste (also known as East-Timor) was the last country to be admitted to the United Nations. Following Switzerland, in 2002, it became the 191st member. Timor-Leste is an Island off the coast of SouthEast Asia and Australia. It also happens to be the poorest country in the world, with a purchasing
(or lack of) power parity of $400.

Fit is the new Rich

The impossible lives right next door to the possible. People ring its doorbell by accident everyday.

As we get older; it becomes harder to kid ourselves.

To live a full life one must keep all of the following in balance as well as given the same level of importance: love, career, friends, family, hobbies, motherhood. Become obsessed with one and it throws everything off.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Tell the people you love you love them, cause you never know when they'll be taken away.

Sometimes life just feels like you've stepped into a pile of shit on the day you forgot to wear shoes.

The only things you regret on your deathbed are the experiences you never had.

Always stir your martinis never shake, it just gets cloudy, and who wants to drink a spermy looking martini?

s = ut + 1/2*a*t^2

v = u + at

v^2 = u^2 + 2as

You cannot call yourself an adult until you can answer the question, What do you really want? in clear, truthful and uncertain terms.

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later.

Always be nice to waiters - they're the ones who decide whether to spit in your food or not.

Never give advice without explaining your costs first.

Be an icebreaker (conversation wise. Don't go around breaking ice, that's just weird).

Next time you see someone handing out leaflets in the street, take one - it'll help them get home faster.

..be Careful where the dog shits ya.


Contributors: soos, sinister greg, farah, amunki, dave, didi, ricky, no static, mto, karpinski, chanad, lina, mahmood, d, randommo, n, tammyp, deniz, mohamed, rf, tibor, sahar, falco, 248am, steve, barrak, jellybean, bonsaim, leena, and me.

special thanks to the proofreading sleuth..

Things about me

I drink my cereal milk: Yeah I’m not ashamed to admit it… I eat my bowl of cereal, then when the cereal is all done, I’ll add some more cereal to the milk, and eat that, and then when the sugar and coloring from the cereal has mixed into the milk –then I’ll slurp that bowl and gulp that sugary colored milk.. mmmm.. tasty.. this goes out to all you weirdos that made me feel uncomfortable about slurping the milk out of my bowl.

I can’t sit down during a stressful part in a movie: it’s true, if something’s about to happen in the movie and I know it’s going to happen, shit man, I need to stand up.. You should see me in the movie theater, moving around in my seat. I do this when Arsenal are playing as well..

I sing and dance in my car while I listen to my music: unlike some of my friends who immediately lift their hand to their ear like they’re talking on the phone.. I do a little smirk, and continue with my song. Music gets me going in the morning, so I’m not going to ruin my entire morning because some person saw me getting my groove on to “cross-town traffic”..

I will push my music on anyone who’ll listen and then get really aggravated with them when they don’t share the same opinion as me.. When I buy new music, I have to travel with my cd case… I take it upon myself to subject everyone listen to my music and put them through a br “new music listening session”.. that said, I pay very close attention to crown control, and I have a kick ass music collection – in fact... nono no I wont say it.. It’s a little too much..

I’ve stopped playing winning 11 and Fifa on the play station because it consumes me. I want my friends to stop.. it’s a bad addiction… I’ve contemplated breaking the disc, but then I’d have 4-6 of my friends ready to beat me senseless. I’ve threatened them a couple of times, but they know they’ve got strength in numbers…

I prefer contact grills than the triangle sandwich presses, if you know what I mean… they’re so much cooler, I hate having the ‘way my sandwich is going to get cut’ determined for me. Sometimes I like to cut it diagonally sometimes straight..

I have a little windup Godzilla on my desk.. he’s the coolest motherfuqing plastic reptile I know.. when you wind him up, he walks across my desk at work and sparks come out of his month… if anyone steals him, I’ll take a flamethrower to your grandma’s house..

I like buying different deli meats from the supermarket.. Then when I’m at home, I do the whole Tony Soprano thing: bust into the fridge and eat some of that ‘gabagol’ straight out of the packaging.. yeah.. There’s a definite feel good factor when you eat with your hands, I’m learning to enjoy it much much more..

THAT’S ALL FOLKS

absurd MJ rumors

So Jacko's still in Bahrain... There are all sorts of rumors circulating and floating around... I just thought I'd share a couple stories that have made the gossip rounds…

Absurd MJ rumor #1: Upon his arrival in the middle of summer in Bahrain, MJ decides to do a little shopping... So he throws on a ladies Daffah/Abbayah and a Burqah to remain incognito, and goes happily strolling around TOYS R US (frightened?). One of the security guards notices something weird about the covered lady and decides to stop her to ask a couple of questions.. MJ's cover is blown and once it's determined that the King of Pop is strolling around TOYS R US, everything gets sorted and back to normal.. MJ then continues his strolling and goes on a BD 900 shopping spree USD 2,385 (I love the fact the rumor actually has a definite amount attached to it)... Personally, I can see how MJ would like to stroll around alone in costume, he's always been into wearing face masks so the burqah would definitely appeal to him.. Also don't forget, he's visiting Bahrain in the middle of the summer - he'd need to protect his face from our relentless summer sun... Him traveling without a bodyguard? not sure about that one..

Absurd MJ Rumor #2: MJ is thinking of enrolling his kids in a private school in Bahrain for an entire year keeping them in a safe environment, rather than in the US where people will continually be talking about them. In order to protect their identities, the kids will be enrolled under fake names... I don't see the point to it all - I mean Bahrain is so small someone is bound to find out who the kids are... I'm wondering who's going to attend the parent teacher conferences?

Absurd MJ Rumor #3: MJ has been intrigued by Islam, and after much cajoling from Jermaine, he's decided to come to live in Bahrain and learn about the religion. He's also thinking of moving Never Land Ranch to Bahrain... I wonder if they'll bring the llamas..

Absurd MJ Rumor #4: He's here to record a new album... This isn't that absurd since he's running out of cash and needs to come up with something new instead of repackaging his old music. I'm just hoping he realizes that he needs to bring Quincy Jones to Bahrain… Come on Quincy, one more challenge, you know whatever you write, he will sing - and that will always go platinum…

Absurd MJ Rumor #5: The Michael Jackson School of Pop is opening up in Bahrain. MJ himself will be instructing young performers on the moonwalk, white socks, and the various props throughout a pop star’s career… Gyrating 101, “taaaheeeheee” for beginners and other classes will be on offer starting this fall..

The picture up top was snapped from someone's cellphone while MJ was strolling around Seef Mall... I like the medal MJ... Check out the bracelets...

What have you heard? bear in mind this is the King of Pop, this man has inspired many and changed the history of music forever - you must respect that... I just hope this doesn't blow up in our faces...

forget you

thanks to DAR and Slonk for this wonderful translation of drunk arabic aangrish poetry:

forget you

forget you, how can i forget you?

how can i forget your height?
how can i keeeb you from my sight?
forget you, how can i forget you?

how can i forget the moon and the sky?
how can i forget the gazelle jumbing high?
forget you, how can i forget you?

you are for me , like the fish is for the sea
I am for you, like the sock is for the shoe
forget you, how can i forget you?

tphoo alaaaay if I forget you...

Things that drive me nuts… Part umpteen…

The smell of feet in the sugar tin at the kitchenette at my office (some of the “not bothered by hygiene” employees like to use the same wet spoon to mix their creamer and then add their sugar to their tea or coffee – leaving a rotting cheesy foot scent - full scale toe jam) – thanks to my shifty fingers at Corporate coffee house, I’ve managed to replenish my personal sugar stockpile. The fact that Jan burger only opens at 8PM. The fact that Jan Burger have inconveniently located themselves in impossible to get to locations. Turning around in at my desk on a beautiful day to enjoy my sea view and seeing someone jet skiing or enjoying the sea – bastards, the lot of ya. The afternoon sun that goes right through my window and hits my screen blinding me, and then me having to explain why I’m wearing sunglasses at 5pm… The fact that now’s not the time to eat prawns in Bahrain cause you can get food poisoning and no one reminded me – my poor exit points… The fact that shops will have “incredible sales” yet still charge you 20 dinars for a pair of converse sneakers on sale – when they paid less than 128 UAE dirhams for them (that’s about 12.8 dinars – you should’ve taken the reduced sale price sticker off the sneaker you dumbasses- Yeah we all know who you are- stop ripping people off). The fact that I’ve discovered a cache of ultra-hip t-shirts online that wont accept a Bahraini credit card or shipping to Bahrain – COME ON STEVE- RECONSIDER… That Mohammed Salmeen has consistently let me down – I thought you had heart, every time you play, we disappoint… The damn ticking noise in the car… I’ve been continually lied to for the past year and a half and this came from someone I loved… Tabriz grills in Jidhaffs has the best grilled lamb chops and I’ve yet to try them… I have no summer plans… The fact that Chelsea FC have managed to flex their muscles all over the footballing world and the English FA have done nothing about it – yeah you pussies – up yours! The fact that I cannot find a decent pizza in Bahrain. The fact that I just lost 5 years worth of financial information cause I didn’t save – DAMN YOU TECHNOLOGY!!!… So many things – I can go on for hours….

job satisfaction...

Dream Job #1:
Model Scout: long hours spent on the beaches of Brazil looking for the next super model. The job would lead to a lot of traveling to all sorts of destinations around the world inspecting the most beautiful women. Will never have a problem with getting in anywhere (bars, clubs, restaurants, private parties, anywhere) because you’ll always have a group of wannabe models following you around… and to make this all better, you’re getting paid to do all of this… “Babe, Adriana Lima is where she is cause she listened to me and I took her to the top… by the way I’ll need to take some photos…” Muwaahahahaha

Dream Job #2:
Sporting Director for FC Barcelona: I didn’t choose an English or Italian team, because they like to have the Presidents and Chairmen handle all the negotiating. In Spain, things are a little different, it’s the Sporting Director who wines and dines the players, travels to negotiate the final deal with the new south American phenomenino, negotiates their contracts, provides the link between the player and the club.. yeah that would be cool. (think Jorge Valdano at the birth of the Galacticos – but for FCB instead – Viva Catalunya).

Dream Job #3:
Freelance Writer for popular music magazines: I’m not a Superstar DJ, nor am I a gifted musician, but I’d sure like to tell their stories… Rock concerts, backstage parties, sets on the beach in Punta Del Este… whoa… No dress code, mobile office, and you spend the rest of your free time writing that novel that you’ve been thinking about…

Dream Job #4:
Pirate: The wind in your hair, looting and plundering, a secret pirate island, a lass in every port, a loyal yet fierce crew, the best rum ever stolen, cool clothes, stories about mermaids – sharks - and killer penguins… Aarrrrrrr… the adventures of a pirate what a wonderful life it would be… just think of all the cool things you could do – hold the world’s supply of ramen noodles for ransom…

Dream Job #5:
Personal Masseuse to Helena Christiansen: Yummy

Ok, so what’s your dream job?

I miss that cola guzzling Camel…

I grew up in the 80s… before Nintendo, arcades, and malls; before everything, we had our public gardens… I remember them being green and I remember them being a load of fun… running around, there were playgrounds, there were mini-rides, and there were animals… The most memorable animal from my childhood was a camel from the Salmaniya Garden…

As the afternoon weather got more pleasant, you’d make your way to the Garden and spend a couple of hours playing, running around until the Camel would arrive… As soon as you’d see the Camel plodding along with its trainer, you’d run off to buy a glass bottle of Soda Pop (Pepsi, Miranda, 7Up, whatever was available)… I know you’re going to think I’m insane for doing this, but I’d run up to the camel, and he’d bend his head down as if saying something and with his puckered lips take the bottle of soda. The Camel would then raise his head up, chug that bottle of soda, and finish off the performance by spitting that bottle as far as his camel lips could spit… this was such a cool thing to see, I mean the glass bottle projectile would fly out of this mouth and if you were in the way, you really needed to dodge, and fast… I wasn’t the only kid who thought a cola guzzling camel was a cool thing, kids lined up and bought bottle after bottle…

It didn’t take long before the camel keeled over and died… I’m sure all those fizzy drinks had something to do with it all… looking back, I remember Miranda (orange soda) had a marketing campaign with a puppet camel that drank the sodas and gave a thumbs up for Miranda… So maybe subconsciously we (kids) thought it was ok to feed the camel drinks… who knows… does anyone ever remember the poor camel’s name?


I miss that camel...

Absee...

I was driving to work the other morning and out of nowhere this old beat up Toyota Corolla cuts me off… Now this being Bahrain the first thing you’d normally experience is a sudden rush of road rage where you want reach to the back seat pull out that sawed off shotgun you save for occasions like this and put a huge dent in the guy’s head.. but today something was different.. I noticed a sticker on the back window of the car... It was just a regular sticker of a guy with his hair tied at the top of his head. It took me a couple of seconds to register that the sticker was none other than “Absee” from the greatest cartoon of my childhood: “Adnan Wa Leena”
Here’s my famous bridging the cultural gap trick watch this: “Adnan Wa Leena,” literally translated is Adnan and Leena.. The rest of the world know him as FUTURE BOY CONAN, how cool was that?? This is one of the coolest cartoon series’ to come out of Japan… Wonderfully created from the imagination of Miyazaki (the genius that brought the world Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away naming a few) Anyways the story is based on Earth after the third world war, a new world order has taken over and they want everyone to reform to their ways. There’s only one hitch, there’s a small group of islands that have resisted and the story takes many different turns that I can’t remember. Anyways the main character is the boy Adnan (Conan) his girl Leena and his best friend Absee the hippie (I think).. Absee was definitely the coolest, hair tied in a topknot, smoker, obnoxious, and brave…
Absee represented everything you wanted to be… first of all he had no parents, and when you were 6, that was the coolest thing in the world. You never saw Absee taking a bath, unless he was diving into the sea to go spear fishing or something totally cool like that.. He was tough enough to beat the living daylights out of those bad soldiers, but still not brave enough to lead the front line… I even remember one episode where he was rolling some “tobacco-like” substance and smoking it… can you say non-conformist?
I’m not saying that this was a quality cartoon that instilled good morals and gave off a meaningful message to the kids. But this was a cartoon that defined my childhood and brought a human element to the tv… there were no falling anvils, no ACME rockets, no talking animals, no martians nothing.. Just a bunch of kids living in a community that was trying to resist takeover by a Nuclear - Power Hungry World Order that’s hell bent on domination and its Commander, that’s all…
I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I think what I’m trying to say is where are the cartoons of yesteryear? We didn’t have any toned down violence… No, we had hardcore skull crushing – jaw breaking action.. And if there wasn’t any action you can be damn sure that there was a lot of bright lights flashing… Cartoons today are just losing their battle to computer animations, over controlling parents, and bad production… I mean every cartoon I can remember as a kid had a fantastic well thought out story.. today’s junk is all about morals and about keeping the environment clean and making cartoons fun and educational.. Bullshit….Bring back the great stories and the excellent animation…. And if anyone knows where I can find an Absee sticker.. please let me know..