My friends just had a baby.. Instead of me mourning the end of normal conversations with them forever, I was appointed the update man yesterday. During her labor, everyone was calling to find out the play by play, so they decided “hey, call br, he’s the agreed update man”. How did I get so lucky to be appointed this valuable position, read on dear reader, read on …
Phone call at 7AM morning: We’re in labor, let everyone at work know, I’ll keep you posted.
A half asleep me scratching his nuts and thinking about whether he needs to shave for work or not…
Me: right, well, good luck.
If someone informed me earlier that those four words signaled my acceptance on update man status, I would’ve not answered my phone. (as a side note: I work with the new father, so everyone at the office was turning to me for information). Getting to the office, I got inundated with phone calls, questions, and remarks on the delivery. To which my answer to all of this was: they’re in labor and that’s all I know, but I’ll keep you posted.
Phone call at 3PM: the baby has not assumed the birthing position, if it doesn’t work out then we’re going for a c-section.
Me: right, well, good luck.
Three text messages, two phone calls, and six emails later, I’d managed to update everyone on what’s happening. Then the fit really hits the shan. The people I notified spread the news that I am the update guy (a job I was doing my best to keep hidden) so I ended up getting a couple of more texts, some emails and a few callbacks on my office phone to take care of.
Text message at 5:30PM: nothing yet.
Me: does this qualify for keeping everyone informed?
Random people now start calling: hey what’s the news?
Me: nothing yet, but I’ll keep you posted.
Phone call at 6:45PM: she’s going in for a c-section..
My text message to everyone: they’re going in for a hail Caesar, shotgun formation.
7 twenty something, the baby is finally born and welcomed to this world, very healthy and well endowed. The overjoyed father calls the update man to spread the good news, and no one picks up. I spent all of yesterday keeping people updated with banal news on the labor session, and when the real news emerges, I have my phone on silent. I failed my only objective, which was to notify everyone of the birth, leaving a bunch of people sans information about the little guy. The good news: My failure means that I’ll never be update man again..
Showing posts with label tirades. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tirades. Show all posts
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
My latest disappointment.. HOGs
Growing up, Harley Davidson, symbolized the modern outlaw in my meaningless book of characters. The name struck a rebel chord in me, that just settled perfectly in my psyche. Driving around the States, you’d pull up along a cluster of riders and they all looked mean, unkept, probably hungover and smelly, and that was just the women. I knew I found something that I could connect with; I liked their brazen attitude and short-term goals: booze, birds and bees. I felt solid in the 9th grade wearing my black classic harness steel toe boots with my school uniform.. I wanted a fatboy, in fact I was hoping to one day to visit the Harley Davidson head office, show them akira, the manga, and have them design me a Harley fatboy based on the bike in Akira.. the dog’s bullocks I tell you, the dog’s bullocks..
I couldn’t help but admire the carefree attitude and mischief as a group of hogs would ride through a narrow street setting all off the alarms on all the parked cars.. And then, you’d see them crack a smile as they were ready to rumble with anyone who crossed their path.. I had friends that used to ride all the way up to New Hampshire just to ditch the helmet laws and live free and maybe even die.. Stories about biker beaches bullying the Japanese super bikes off their turf made me respect their authority.. All these traits, and keeping up with my fascination for Captain America (reference, look it up), really had me sold.. On the weekends, you’d see the now-reformed ex-bikers, current VPs of large corporations who’s faces showed the scars of their illustrious bar fights and scary substance abuse, still getting in touch with their previous life.
And then, I moved back to the Middle East..
I spent a weekend with my beloved at a secluded mountain resort. Well it was us and a local Harley Chapter, who I’m sorry to say were the saddest bunch of outlaws my eyes have ever laid on.. I’m not going to interfere with the whole thrill of being on a bike and riding - that’s a special bond everyone makes between their machine and the road.. but for me, the persona was completely lost. The Rock of Foghat was replaced by the high pitched ballads of Air Supply, painful, very painful.. my qualms are as follows..
Marketing suckers..
These folk not only were trying too hard to look like they were part of a biker gang, but they actually sat there and bought every single piece of Harley Davidson merchandise they could get their hands on.. with all the little badges and patches and dumb stickers.. I can’t stand these little bumper stickers people put on their helmets. I’d normally give you the one finger salute but I’m on my ride (WHAT?? that’s the best you can come up with? That’s the sticker you’ve got on your helmet? That’s your level of how badass you are?? Why couldn’t it have been something like I call this hog your mother, she loves getting between my legs for a ride. At least I can respect that) Stickers are ok for a gag, but for your bad ass ride with your biker gang? Doesn’t say much about your biker gang Wyatt.. and what’s with the patches, what the hell are we the boy scouts?
And the merchandise… Que paso hombre? Did you lose your balls to the QVC channel? I can understand, the boots, the padded jacket, and maybe a couple of knick knacks.. but zippo lighters, t-shirts, jeans, socks, shot glasses, bed spreads, hanging racks.. I partially blame the Harley Davidson organization for this merchandising.. They created such a die hard loyal customer base, that they could sell bottled water and a lot of these bikers would buy cases of it.. don’t deny it..
Ohh and deary, those leather pants and bandana might have looked good on you when you were 23, but those days are long gone.. just cause Samantha Fox pulled the look off in the 80s, doesn’t mean you can too.. my poor retinas have been scarred for life..
Attitude..
This just didn’t settle right with me.. first off you’re a biker gang, albeit a tame biker gang, but for this weekend, you’re abiding by the rules of the road, live them.. Upon checkout, I was stranded at the front desk with a couple of these “ruffians”.. All joking about, ready for a laugh – they seemed like a jovial bunch, no one complaining about their headaches, but everyone talking about how much alcohol they consumed and who got a little frisky with who.. now I’ve had to make my fair share of late checkouts because of wild antics the night before, I have never in my life looked as fresh and just ready as this bunch..
The icing on my cake was when a couple of the crew were arguing with the hotel staff how they didn’t have anything from the minibar.. wait what? and might I add that these complaints were coming from the one guy who looked like the baddest of the bunch.. Vehemently denying how he touched the minibar – needless to say, I was shocked, you’re all talking about how boozed up you got, but everyone looked fresh to me.. you all talked about how pissed up you got, but no one reeked of alcohol. And then no one had a mishap with the minibar? Vivid imagery of some burly biker lifting up the minibar over his head and letting all the little plastic bottles fall into his mouth were quickly dispelled.. shame.. I was hoping at least the Harley crew would cause a little trouble.. just a bit would’ve been fine..
Disney World is a family vacation, a picnic out in the desert is a family vacation, a water park – family vacation.. bringing your annoying like snot of a kid with you on your ride? What are you thinking? A bunch of these people there need to just unwind, get boozed up, maybe a little promiscuous casual roll between the sheets, that’s all part of a weekend away.. but bring your child? This must have been the most annoying little 4 year old I had ever seen.. high on what looked like a little much sugar this brat decided to run around and give everyone a makeshift raspberry, including me, the casual bystander just looking to close out his bill.. I was ready to punt the little git, before I saw his mother attempting to discipline her son.. Come to think of it, the son’s disrespect for authority was probably the only real bad ass thing about that crew – and it had to come from a 4 year old.. tisk tisk..
To Harley Davidson, I’m disappointed in how you’ve managed to merchandise everything and turn your customers into walking adverts..
To real bikers, there’s a bunch of people giving you a bad rep, a really bad rep..
I’m off to drool over a Triumph, at least their branding and customer loyalty is still at an early stage..
I couldn’t help but admire the carefree attitude and mischief as a group of hogs would ride through a narrow street setting all off the alarms on all the parked cars.. And then, you’d see them crack a smile as they were ready to rumble with anyone who crossed their path.. I had friends that used to ride all the way up to New Hampshire just to ditch the helmet laws and live free and maybe even die.. Stories about biker beaches bullying the Japanese super bikes off their turf made me respect their authority.. All these traits, and keeping up with my fascination for Captain America (reference, look it up), really had me sold.. On the weekends, you’d see the now-reformed ex-bikers, current VPs of large corporations who’s faces showed the scars of their illustrious bar fights and scary substance abuse, still getting in touch with their previous life.
And then, I moved back to the Middle East..
I spent a weekend with my beloved at a secluded mountain resort. Well it was us and a local Harley Chapter, who I’m sorry to say were the saddest bunch of outlaws my eyes have ever laid on.. I’m not going to interfere with the whole thrill of being on a bike and riding - that’s a special bond everyone makes between their machine and the road.. but for me, the persona was completely lost. The Rock of Foghat was replaced by the high pitched ballads of Air Supply, painful, very painful.. my qualms are as follows..
Marketing suckers..
These folk not only were trying too hard to look like they were part of a biker gang, but they actually sat there and bought every single piece of Harley Davidson merchandise they could get their hands on.. with all the little badges and patches and dumb stickers.. I can’t stand these little bumper stickers people put on their helmets. I’d normally give you the one finger salute but I’m on my ride (WHAT?? that’s the best you can come up with? That’s the sticker you’ve got on your helmet? That’s your level of how badass you are?? Why couldn’t it have been something like I call this hog your mother, she loves getting between my legs for a ride. At least I can respect that) Stickers are ok for a gag, but for your bad ass ride with your biker gang? Doesn’t say much about your biker gang Wyatt.. and what’s with the patches, what the hell are we the boy scouts?
And the merchandise… Que paso hombre? Did you lose your balls to the QVC channel? I can understand, the boots, the padded jacket, and maybe a couple of knick knacks.. but zippo lighters, t-shirts, jeans, socks, shot glasses, bed spreads, hanging racks.. I partially blame the Harley Davidson organization for this merchandising.. They created such a die hard loyal customer base, that they could sell bottled water and a lot of these bikers would buy cases of it.. don’t deny it..
Ohh and deary, those leather pants and bandana might have looked good on you when you were 23, but those days are long gone.. just cause Samantha Fox pulled the look off in the 80s, doesn’t mean you can too.. my poor retinas have been scarred for life..
Attitude..
This just didn’t settle right with me.. first off you’re a biker gang, albeit a tame biker gang, but for this weekend, you’re abiding by the rules of the road, live them.. Upon checkout, I was stranded at the front desk with a couple of these “ruffians”.. All joking about, ready for a laugh – they seemed like a jovial bunch, no one complaining about their headaches, but everyone talking about how much alcohol they consumed and who got a little frisky with who.. now I’ve had to make my fair share of late checkouts because of wild antics the night before, I have never in my life looked as fresh and just ready as this bunch..
The icing on my cake was when a couple of the crew were arguing with the hotel staff how they didn’t have anything from the minibar.. wait what? and might I add that these complaints were coming from the one guy who looked like the baddest of the bunch.. Vehemently denying how he touched the minibar – needless to say, I was shocked, you’re all talking about how boozed up you got, but everyone looked fresh to me.. you all talked about how pissed up you got, but no one reeked of alcohol. And then no one had a mishap with the minibar? Vivid imagery of some burly biker lifting up the minibar over his head and letting all the little plastic bottles fall into his mouth were quickly dispelled.. shame.. I was hoping at least the Harley crew would cause a little trouble.. just a bit would’ve been fine..
Disney World is a family vacation, a picnic out in the desert is a family vacation, a water park – family vacation.. bringing your annoying like snot of a kid with you on your ride? What are you thinking? A bunch of these people there need to just unwind, get boozed up, maybe a little promiscuous casual roll between the sheets, that’s all part of a weekend away.. but bring your child? This must have been the most annoying little 4 year old I had ever seen.. high on what looked like a little much sugar this brat decided to run around and give everyone a makeshift raspberry, including me, the casual bystander just looking to close out his bill.. I was ready to punt the little git, before I saw his mother attempting to discipline her son.. Come to think of it, the son’s disrespect for authority was probably the only real bad ass thing about that crew – and it had to come from a 4 year old.. tisk tisk..
To Harley Davidson, I’m disappointed in how you’ve managed to merchandise everything and turn your customers into walking adverts..
To real bikers, there’s a bunch of people giving you a bad rep, a really bad rep..
I’m off to drool over a Triumph, at least their branding and customer loyalty is still at an early stage..
Thursday, July 20, 2006
up up and away
I watched the new superman movie,, it was cool,, but it brought about a lot of superhero movie talk.. I will say one thing about the movie though, DC did sort out the Kryptonite Condom debate..
The Superman debacle..
According to some, he is the most powerful superhero in the fictional realm of comic books.. he may have x-ray vision, super strength, the power of flight and all that good stuff; but I just don’t think Superman is the greatest superhero ever… my statement caused a little bit of ruckus.. my point being that Kryptonite is superman’s weakness, find enough of it and he’s a goner.. you build a cage out of kryptonite, terrorize some woman and hold her hostage, have her scream help, superman will fly in to save the day, pull the lever and drop the kryptonite cage, and superman’s yours.. the oldest trick in the book, and I’m positive he’ll fall for it.. cause he’s that much of a goody two shoes..
Would it kill Superman to use his powers for a little personal betterment.. if you had superman’s powers, how would you use them? Would you go out and risk your life day in day out to save those in need? Personally, the first person I would help is me.. here are just some of the things I would use my superpowers for, off the top of my head..
x-ray vision: a superpower with endless potential.. apart from the obvious of checking out what’s underneath that pretty dress - I would hit Vegas and gamble my heart’s content, using my powers at the blackjack and poker tables.. all in? you’re on bitch... Hit me, I said HIT ME DAMMIT!! I would also fuck around with all the hustlers on the streets of all major cities with the “follow the queen” card game, or the famous find the nut under the cup (or whatever that game’s called). Make some quick cash, and when they come to mug me and steal the money back, I’d beat them into next tuesday with my super strength. Ladies, the locker room will also be free territory, and you better believe that I will.. umm huhh.. Giving public speeches would never be easier, instead of just picturing everyone naked, you can actually see them naked.. I’d never pick the short straw.. life would be good..
super strength: apart from the obvious of twisting metal bars like balloon sculptures at birthday parties.. “here ya go kid, it’s a giraffe” CRUNCH!! “ohh hehehh excuse me, I forgot, your little 7 year old body can’t hold onto the weight.. what was I thinking.. heehehhee little fella musta broke a rib or something..” I would also forget about parallel parking, just pick up the car and safely place it in its parking spot.. compete in the world arm wrestling tournament and kick ass.. and I would bitch slap Hulk Hogan for the Ultimate Warrior.. I would definitely wrestle a rhino for my daily workout..
super speed: I’d compete in the Olympics as Bahrain’s only athlete, and win every single gold medal.. I’d then take all the gold medals, melt them into one huge medal and wear that around my neck, as a true Olympian..
flight: fly right up to a commercial airplane in mid flight and hang out on the wing waving at passengers.. I would fly into every single concert and major sporting event without paying for my tickets.. go on a tandem skydive and then freak the jumper attached to me, and not pull the cord.. Start up a pizza delivery service with pizzas flown directly from naples… I would fly up Everest, then take a leak off the top and take a picture of that.. I would definitely do you know what in mid air flight..
icy breath / heat vision: hey buddy, what the beer’s warm? No problem.. cue in icy breath.. here’s your ice cold beverage.. yeah what would you do without me.. you wanna see something cool? I can bbq those steaks with my heat vision.. cue in heat ray with accompanying heat ray sound.. how do you like yours done, medium rare? Sure baby.. and might I add, that’s some sexy underwear you have on..
What would you do with your superhuman powers, if you had them?
Another thought I had in regards to the whole superhero meditative sessions, is: what are the insurance premiums in these cities that house superheroes like? Will your car insurance have maniacal villain coverage? How about buildings? Who would insure and then who would reinsure? I’m interested to know someone’s theories on the structure of the insurance industry in these superhero cities…
It’s Thursday, give me a break..
The Superman debacle..
According to some, he is the most powerful superhero in the fictional realm of comic books.. he may have x-ray vision, super strength, the power of flight and all that good stuff; but I just don’t think Superman is the greatest superhero ever… my statement caused a little bit of ruckus.. my point being that Kryptonite is superman’s weakness, find enough of it and he’s a goner.. you build a cage out of kryptonite, terrorize some woman and hold her hostage, have her scream help, superman will fly in to save the day, pull the lever and drop the kryptonite cage, and superman’s yours.. the oldest trick in the book, and I’m positive he’ll fall for it.. cause he’s that much of a goody two shoes..
Would it kill Superman to use his powers for a little personal betterment.. if you had superman’s powers, how would you use them? Would you go out and risk your life day in day out to save those in need? Personally, the first person I would help is me.. here are just some of the things I would use my superpowers for, off the top of my head..
x-ray vision: a superpower with endless potential.. apart from the obvious of checking out what’s underneath that pretty dress - I would hit Vegas and gamble my heart’s content, using my powers at the blackjack and poker tables.. all in? you’re on bitch... Hit me, I said HIT ME DAMMIT!! I would also fuck around with all the hustlers on the streets of all major cities with the “follow the queen” card game, or the famous find the nut under the cup (or whatever that game’s called). Make some quick cash, and when they come to mug me and steal the money back, I’d beat them into next tuesday with my super strength. Ladies, the locker room will also be free territory, and you better believe that I will.. umm huhh.. Giving public speeches would never be easier, instead of just picturing everyone naked, you can actually see them naked.. I’d never pick the short straw.. life would be good..
super strength: apart from the obvious of twisting metal bars like balloon sculptures at birthday parties.. “here ya go kid, it’s a giraffe” CRUNCH!! “ohh hehehh excuse me, I forgot, your little 7 year old body can’t hold onto the weight.. what was I thinking.. heehehhee little fella musta broke a rib or something..” I would also forget about parallel parking, just pick up the car and safely place it in its parking spot.. compete in the world arm wrestling tournament and kick ass.. and I would bitch slap Hulk Hogan for the Ultimate Warrior.. I would definitely wrestle a rhino for my daily workout..
super speed: I’d compete in the Olympics as Bahrain’s only athlete, and win every single gold medal.. I’d then take all the gold medals, melt them into one huge medal and wear that around my neck, as a true Olympian..
flight: fly right up to a commercial airplane in mid flight and hang out on the wing waving at passengers.. I would fly into every single concert and major sporting event without paying for my tickets.. go on a tandem skydive and then freak the jumper attached to me, and not pull the cord.. Start up a pizza delivery service with pizzas flown directly from naples… I would fly up Everest, then take a leak off the top and take a picture of that.. I would definitely do you know what in mid air flight..
icy breath / heat vision: hey buddy, what the beer’s warm? No problem.. cue in icy breath.. here’s your ice cold beverage.. yeah what would you do without me.. you wanna see something cool? I can bbq those steaks with my heat vision.. cue in heat ray with accompanying heat ray sound.. how do you like yours done, medium rare? Sure baby.. and might I add, that’s some sexy underwear you have on..
What would you do with your superhuman powers, if you had them?
Another thought I had in regards to the whole superhero meditative sessions, is: what are the insurance premiums in these cities that house superheroes like? Will your car insurance have maniacal villain coverage? How about buildings? Who would insure and then who would reinsure? I’m interested to know someone’s theories on the structure of the insurance industry in these superhero cities…
It’s Thursday, give me a break..
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Uploading Downloads
Remember when downloading used to be fun and free? Everyone had napster, the original napster.. people were downloading tunes, and we all felt we were a apart of an MP3 community, sticking it to the record industry - revolucionarios! I used spend hours in front of the computer at my place, with whomever just trying to remember music and downloading it.. it was from these insane screen sessions that we remembered too shy by kajagoogoo, midlife crisis by faith no more, absolutely kelly street by frente, all sorts of great random tunes. We found secret ultrahush white labels, we found dubbed up dubs of rubadubdub, we found fun for our eardrums. La musica was, fresh and happy, but like guns n roses play it “nothing lasts forever” - Those damn bastards from Metallica decided that they wanted to make money off their music that was being transferred, and decided to take whomever they could to court. In the midst of this whole hell-storm of litigation, napster started getting trickier, people were misspelling the information on the tracks you could download to avoid getting caught.. stuff was becoming harder to find, life became crappy…
And then something brilliant happened.. someone invented another peer to peer file sharing software that found a loophole in the legality of it all: being registered outside the US and sometimes giving you popups and stuff like that.. Soon everyone had migrated from Napster to morpheus until that got old, then they switched to Aries until that got old, and then edonkey and then kazaa then kazaa lite then limewire, and so on and so forth.. people’s conversations at the time sounded a little something like this, “hey so what do you use to download?” “oh I use bumfloss beta 2.0” “is that any good?” “aww hell yeah dude, it’s amazing, you get music, videos, games, pictures, you can download anything even viruses..” It was also during this time that people stopped just downloading music, and got involved in downloading videos.. At the time, downloading videos had one clearly defined purpose: pornography, nothing else.. The internet video porn traffic boomed, if you could’ve traded that index, think of the returns.. Milfhunter and the bangbus crew became world famous, overnight. Now you could finally complete your rocco siffredi collection with Rocco Mauls Mozambique. Gigabytes and gigabytes of videos were bouncing around peoples bandwidth ranging from sexy shit, to sick shit, to weird shit, to funny shit, to classic shit, and illegal in some states shit… life was good for all men and some women, but mainly men…
It didn’t take long for Steve “I gotta get me some of dat” Jobs to announce his solution to illegal downloading: Itunes hits computers globally, his ipods take over peoples ears, and all of a sudden the industry is making money off downloaded music. Obscure musicians even turn to leaking their music on the internet in the hope of becoming famous, and many have.. a dollar a tune was worth it for many and it was legal.. I don’t really know how many songs have been downloaded over itunes, I remember reading some large number but really couldn’t care less – some impressively huge number though.. But you have to give Jobs credit.. he made money off making music downloads legal and he made you buy his device to listen to your newly purchased music, now that’s pure “giving them what they didn’t know they wanted but desperately needed” genius...
So what’s next? Lets get on the whole video downloading bandwagon!! and that’s just what the world did.. Supercool large file sharing applications like BitTorrent were born and now you could actually download full length movies or episodes of your favorite TV show.. the newest episode of Lost airs tonight, tomorrow morning people are downloading it and then uploading it into their personal video players to watch on the train ride to work, during their lunch break, taking it over on their hard disks to watch it with friends, making copies for people, burning it on a dvd to watch it on their tv.. Technically I’m sure this is illegal, but this new type of heavy peer to peer fiending is taking over the internet and you have to acknowledge their growing numbers.. People are up to date on what’s happening in the Sopranos, Lost, 24, the Unit, the Shield, Home Garden Tv, etc.. Itunes realized that they can make money off this too and have now allowed people to legally purchase episodes, touché stevie, touché..
I know a couple of these bandwidth bandits, I was hanging out with one of them last night, and his addiction to downloading these tv shows was somewhat frightening.. he couldn’t wait to rewatch the episode of this show because the new one was coming out on this day and then he has this download and the season finale of that and then there’s the other new show that he’s heard so much about.. I’ve seen a lot of addictions in my relatively short life, but this one, was pretty scary..
Another internet impresario worthy of mention is the high priest of the temple.. a couple of months ago this guy had 2 terabytes of personal storage space (that’s over 2 thousand gigabytes – roughly 33 and a third 60 gigabyte ipods) filled with everything and anything your little mind desires: documentaries, tv shows, serial dramas, animes, movies, videogames, pictures, files, stories, you name it, really, just name it. His storage space has probably now doubled in size, (cue in celestial gregorian chanting)..
So where does this leave me? behind in everything.. I’ll still be reminiscing about dancing around to “Too.. shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye” while people are downloading virtual girlfriends… the internet is taking so many twists and turns and if you just pause to see how far we’ve come in the last 2,5,10 years years, you’d be flabbergasted (I like the sound of that fla-bber-gas-ted..)
And then something brilliant happened.. someone invented another peer to peer file sharing software that found a loophole in the legality of it all: being registered outside the US and sometimes giving you popups and stuff like that.. Soon everyone had migrated from Napster to morpheus until that got old, then they switched to Aries until that got old, and then edonkey and then kazaa then kazaa lite then limewire, and so on and so forth.. people’s conversations at the time sounded a little something like this, “hey so what do you use to download?” “oh I use bumfloss beta 2.0” “is that any good?” “aww hell yeah dude, it’s amazing, you get music, videos, games, pictures, you can download anything even viruses..” It was also during this time that people stopped just downloading music, and got involved in downloading videos.. At the time, downloading videos had one clearly defined purpose: pornography, nothing else.. The internet video porn traffic boomed, if you could’ve traded that index, think of the returns.. Milfhunter and the bangbus crew became world famous, overnight. Now you could finally complete your rocco siffredi collection with Rocco Mauls Mozambique. Gigabytes and gigabytes of videos were bouncing around peoples bandwidth ranging from sexy shit, to sick shit, to weird shit, to funny shit, to classic shit, and illegal in some states shit… life was good for all men and some women, but mainly men…
It didn’t take long for Steve “I gotta get me some of dat” Jobs to announce his solution to illegal downloading: Itunes hits computers globally, his ipods take over peoples ears, and all of a sudden the industry is making money off downloaded music. Obscure musicians even turn to leaking their music on the internet in the hope of becoming famous, and many have.. a dollar a tune was worth it for many and it was legal.. I don’t really know how many songs have been downloaded over itunes, I remember reading some large number but really couldn’t care less – some impressively huge number though.. But you have to give Jobs credit.. he made money off making music downloads legal and he made you buy his device to listen to your newly purchased music, now that’s pure “giving them what they didn’t know they wanted but desperately needed” genius...
So what’s next? Lets get on the whole video downloading bandwagon!! and that’s just what the world did.. Supercool large file sharing applications like BitTorrent were born and now you could actually download full length movies or episodes of your favorite TV show.. the newest episode of Lost airs tonight, tomorrow morning people are downloading it and then uploading it into their personal video players to watch on the train ride to work, during their lunch break, taking it over on their hard disks to watch it with friends, making copies for people, burning it on a dvd to watch it on their tv.. Technically I’m sure this is illegal, but this new type of heavy peer to peer fiending is taking over the internet and you have to acknowledge their growing numbers.. People are up to date on what’s happening in the Sopranos, Lost, 24, the Unit, the Shield, Home Garden Tv, etc.. Itunes realized that they can make money off this too and have now allowed people to legally purchase episodes, touché stevie, touché..
I know a couple of these bandwidth bandits, I was hanging out with one of them last night, and his addiction to downloading these tv shows was somewhat frightening.. he couldn’t wait to rewatch the episode of this show because the new one was coming out on this day and then he has this download and the season finale of that and then there’s the other new show that he’s heard so much about.. I’ve seen a lot of addictions in my relatively short life, but this one, was pretty scary..
Another internet impresario worthy of mention is the high priest of the temple.. a couple of months ago this guy had 2 terabytes of personal storage space (that’s over 2 thousand gigabytes – roughly 33 and a third 60 gigabyte ipods) filled with everything and anything your little mind desires: documentaries, tv shows, serial dramas, animes, movies, videogames, pictures, files, stories, you name it, really, just name it. His storage space has probably now doubled in size, (cue in celestial gregorian chanting)..
So where does this leave me? behind in everything.. I’ll still be reminiscing about dancing around to “Too.. shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye” while people are downloading virtual girlfriends… the internet is taking so many twists and turns and if you just pause to see how far we’ve come in the last 2,5,10 years years, you’d be flabbergasted (I like the sound of that fla-bber-gas-ted..)
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
SPAM, it's what's for dinner..
Don’t you hate getting chain letters - Or those “send these to 70 people and your wish will come true” emails - or bill gates will send you a jillion dollars if you email this to everyone on your mailing list..
I have to admit, I sometimes get these silly forwards, and then because I have a couple of minutes of free time, or I might be procrastinating the entire day, I’ll do the little quiz.. you pick your favorite color, you write down the your first initial, you spend the time of adding all the digits in your shoe size, birthday, and partner’s cycle. Then you make your wish - pluck out a strand of your hair and light it on fire repeating the chants in the email…
And then what? They tell you, now forward this to 5 people and your wish will come true, if you forward it to 10 people, your wish will come true before your next birthday.. Shit, you’re so close to your dreams of totalitarian world domination, but now you need to send this out to your friends.. This is when my neurotic thinking comes in, ok my friends will think I’m a totally mentally defective idiot for sending them this stupid forward, so what do I do? Plus what if someone else I send this to is also planning totalitarian world domination; do I want to ruin my chances? That’s when the address book scouring begins.. When I start searching for those old friends that I might have completely lost touch with, group partners from some of my classes in college, defunct emails, anything.. but then the thinking kicks into high gear, what will happen if the powers that be realize that I’m kinda cheating by forwarding this email to people I don’t really consider close friends? Will my wish not come true? You know what else pisses me off? When they actually include a story of how now you’re hexed, you must send this email out to this many people or something evil will befall you.. you really expect me to believe that? Beelzebub’s hanging around the web looking to cast evil down my way? “hmmm, that Bahraini rant bastard didn’t forward to 20 people, FIRE & BRIMSTONE HIS ASS EVIL MONKEYS!!!!!!!”
All this thinking then usually tires me out and I just delete the email forever giving up on my dreams to have the entire world sing praise to me… damn you good fortune forwards..
The other email spam I just can’t stand are the please give me your bank account emails..
It always starts the same way.. some poor kid in some underdeveloped country is sitting there telling you about how these rebels have killed his/her father who just so happened to be the ex-minister of mining gold, diamonds, and little people.. before the daddy got killed by Chuck Taylor Rebels (Klashnikovs and high tops) he took out 5 million dollars in unmarked US treasury bills, but they were locked up in a security firm in another underdeveloped country. The child then asks you for your bank account so they can transfer the money to your account and then have someone rewire the account and then they get your credit card number and then BABAM! You have USD 33,000 worth of calls to miss Cleo on your tab..
The thing that gets me on these emails, is that the grammar is atrocious.. I mean honestly, your daddy was the minister of mining gold, diamonds, and little people; and he couldn’t afford to give you a proper education? I knew a lot of kids in college that were the children of the most corrupt people in Africa, and they could all speak English or French good… and they get so chummy with you in those emails don’t they? Hello my friend, whoa whoa whoa, you’re asking me to be part of a money laundering ring, you’re not my buddy just yet… lets get to know each other first, lets maim some rebels together, do some ancient right of passage that would make me eat a living human thinking it’s a rib eye, maybe get a little militia going, poison a water supply or two, then we can get chummy pal..
What would really get my attention and would actually have me consider replying is if they just jazzed up their Spam email a little bit.. just a little more attention people, that’s all I’m asking, make it a little more enjoyable to read.. maybe they could change the circumstances.. the money could be in a security company in another town that’s run by the evil mayor who’s militia is made up of crazy drugged up rebels. Then what’s needed are the services of a crack ex gulf war rangers team, comprised of an aging leader who loves it when a plan comes together, the pretty intelligence dude, the psychotic transport specialist, and the big bad mothafuqa.. This team will have to make their way to the underdeveloped African country, meet the dead minister’s child, agree to the terms, devise a cunning plan to break into the security firms vault using a pimped out school bus and a map the pretty intelligence dude got from sleeping with the mayors wife. During their raid, they discover that the mayor is extremely corrupt and he’s pumping experimental chemicals from Pharmaceutical Corporation XYZ into the town’s water supply, leaving the townspeople feeling very nauseous and with irritable bowl movements.. A huge standoff could possibly ensue where the psychotic transportations specialist will get shot in the leg saving a malnourished child from being caught in the crossfire.. the battle rages on, the mayor captures the four heroes at gunpoint while he looks away the big bad mothafuqa throws a punch and lodges his fist in the mayor’s skull he dies and the militia disbands running off into the hills.. the security firm’s vault is broken open, the treasury bills are found, along with missing national treasures, a dodo, and a cure for AIDS.. and everyone goes home happy.. now that would warrant a USD 33,000 psychic friends network bill.. yeah…
Waitaminute, what? don’t listen to me.. I’m just babbling…
I have to admit, I sometimes get these silly forwards, and then because I have a couple of minutes of free time, or I might be procrastinating the entire day, I’ll do the little quiz.. you pick your favorite color, you write down the your first initial, you spend the time of adding all the digits in your shoe size, birthday, and partner’s cycle. Then you make your wish - pluck out a strand of your hair and light it on fire repeating the chants in the email…
And then what? They tell you, now forward this to 5 people and your wish will come true, if you forward it to 10 people, your wish will come true before your next birthday.. Shit, you’re so close to your dreams of totalitarian world domination, but now you need to send this out to your friends.. This is when my neurotic thinking comes in, ok my friends will think I’m a totally mentally defective idiot for sending them this stupid forward, so what do I do? Plus what if someone else I send this to is also planning totalitarian world domination; do I want to ruin my chances? That’s when the address book scouring begins.. When I start searching for those old friends that I might have completely lost touch with, group partners from some of my classes in college, defunct emails, anything.. but then the thinking kicks into high gear, what will happen if the powers that be realize that I’m kinda cheating by forwarding this email to people I don’t really consider close friends? Will my wish not come true? You know what else pisses me off? When they actually include a story of how now you’re hexed, you must send this email out to this many people or something evil will befall you.. you really expect me to believe that? Beelzebub’s hanging around the web looking to cast evil down my way? “hmmm, that Bahraini rant bastard didn’t forward to 20 people, FIRE & BRIMSTONE HIS ASS EVIL MONKEYS!!!!!!!”
All this thinking then usually tires me out and I just delete the email forever giving up on my dreams to have the entire world sing praise to me… damn you good fortune forwards..
The other email spam I just can’t stand are the please give me your bank account emails..
It always starts the same way.. some poor kid in some underdeveloped country is sitting there telling you about how these rebels have killed his/her father who just so happened to be the ex-minister of mining gold, diamonds, and little people.. before the daddy got killed by Chuck Taylor Rebels (Klashnikovs and high tops) he took out 5 million dollars in unmarked US treasury bills, but they were locked up in a security firm in another underdeveloped country. The child then asks you for your bank account so they can transfer the money to your account and then have someone rewire the account and then they get your credit card number and then BABAM! You have USD 33,000 worth of calls to miss Cleo on your tab..
The thing that gets me on these emails, is that the grammar is atrocious.. I mean honestly, your daddy was the minister of mining gold, diamonds, and little people; and he couldn’t afford to give you a proper education? I knew a lot of kids in college that were the children of the most corrupt people in Africa, and they could all speak English or French good… and they get so chummy with you in those emails don’t they? Hello my friend, whoa whoa whoa, you’re asking me to be part of a money laundering ring, you’re not my buddy just yet… lets get to know each other first, lets maim some rebels together, do some ancient right of passage that would make me eat a living human thinking it’s a rib eye, maybe get a little militia going, poison a water supply or two, then we can get chummy pal..
What would really get my attention and would actually have me consider replying is if they just jazzed up their Spam email a little bit.. just a little more attention people, that’s all I’m asking, make it a little more enjoyable to read.. maybe they could change the circumstances.. the money could be in a security company in another town that’s run by the evil mayor who’s militia is made up of crazy drugged up rebels. Then what’s needed are the services of a crack ex gulf war rangers team, comprised of an aging leader who loves it when a plan comes together, the pretty intelligence dude, the psychotic transport specialist, and the big bad mothafuqa.. This team will have to make their way to the underdeveloped African country, meet the dead minister’s child, agree to the terms, devise a cunning plan to break into the security firms vault using a pimped out school bus and a map the pretty intelligence dude got from sleeping with the mayors wife. During their raid, they discover that the mayor is extremely corrupt and he’s pumping experimental chemicals from Pharmaceutical Corporation XYZ into the town’s water supply, leaving the townspeople feeling very nauseous and with irritable bowl movements.. A huge standoff could possibly ensue where the psychotic transportations specialist will get shot in the leg saving a malnourished child from being caught in the crossfire.. the battle rages on, the mayor captures the four heroes at gunpoint while he looks away the big bad mothafuqa throws a punch and lodges his fist in the mayor’s skull he dies and the militia disbands running off into the hills.. the security firm’s vault is broken open, the treasury bills are found, along with missing national treasures, a dodo, and a cure for AIDS.. and everyone goes home happy.. now that would warrant a USD 33,000 psychic friends network bill.. yeah…
Waitaminute, what? don’t listen to me.. I’m just babbling…
Monday, December 12, 2005
Chemically Dependent
I strolled into work with minutes to spare - the drive to work had been done in a zombified state – breakfast was good but something was lacking… Waiting in front of the moneymaking corporation’s elevators, I avoided exchanging morning pleasantries. What is with mornings that everyone has to say hello? I mean it’s not just about being nice to the people in your department or on your floor – no, everyone says hello, everyone… Normally, I’d also be slinging my hellos and slipping my good mornings to the people around me. But today was different; I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I could feel it – there was a sense of total discombobulation. What the hell is going through my head? Something’s amiss and I can’t figure it out… The biggest problem is locating the source of discomfort – once you know what it is, that’s half the battle – whether it’s guilt, shame, pain, whatever, once you figure out why you’re feeling blue – you can now work on focusing your attention on the solution… This morning was a totally different case… I had no idea what the hell was happening in my world…
Riding the elevator with the covered mafia, my hallucinations began… Audio and Visuals – I could’ve sworn Bertha (the leader of the cackle of covered women where I work that refuse to have any form of communication or interaction with any member of the opposite sex, because they wouldn’t want to tempt me – sweetie, there is no way on Earth you will ever - let me repeat that, ever, tempt me) actually said hello to me… like lemmings one by one they all ensued in their good mornings… tears welled up in my eyes – what the hell was happening to me?
Leaving the elevator I took a quick right and then a left and made my way to my department’s designated work space… plunking down at my desk, turning on my computer, the lull of the machine normally puts my heart to ease, but this time, it was frustrating… my fingers were rapping the desk to some 99bpm. My knees started to shake.. the migraine began to pierce my head like a jackhammer – pain, debilitating short term pain, not something you couldn’t live with, but just pain that you didn’t need that early in the morning.
And then, like a ton of bricks, it hits me.. I need caffeine. The pain I’m feeling in my head is because of the caffeine, I need coffee and I need it now. Yes yes I know, it’s an addiction that gives you headaches if you don’t cater to it, stains your teeth, leaves you with nasty coffee breath, a diuretic (need I say more?) – but there’s nothing I can do about it.. I need coffee to start my day and then I might need some coffee before lunch and then I will definitely need coffee after lunch to give me that final push to the day’s finish line.
My derived use of coffee is split down the middle, I like the taste of it when it’s good coffee, and I use it to jolt my system. I’m a regulated addict, I’ll drink it when I need to pick myself up and I’ll drink it whenever I feel like it. it just does so many wondrous things to your heartbeat that you can’t really ignore the benefits of coffee..
When this whole thing started, I was particular with my coffee consumption; i had to be drinking something decent. I refused to go near the instant coffee tin at the office, save that for when you’re trapped in a hidden bunker hiding from the fascists. I’ve been known to slum it and drink the instant or folgers, but the pains in my stomach afterwards are just not worth it. And after a family donation, I was the proud owner of an unused Espresso machine that now resides at our designated workspace. She’s my little baby, she’s temperamental at times and can kick up a fuss, but she does get me going. Her steamer doesn’t work as well as I’d like it too, but she does give me good head, of espresso that is..
It didn’t take long before we’d become world-class baristas: Americanos, Macchiatos, lattes, we even created our own version of the cappuccino – notquiteuccino (told you the steamer doesn’t work). It’s not like we’re dolts that spend all our money ordering from these overpriced coffee houses (that does happen though) – no we buy our ground beans and make our own deliciously tasting coffee… well not right now, because it seems my coffee connection “Midel” can’t seem to find me a regular sized bag of ground espresso, and they’re trying to push the 1 kilo bag of pure Café Colombia.
This started with me being angry at my caffeine addiction and turned into my love affair with coffee and the little krups that could. Don’t you wish you worked with me? On the plus side, you’d be drinking delicious coffee. On the minus, you’d be dealing with highly caffeinated people who would probably get you to sing along to some Sinatra tune – maybe even some 50cent..
Riding the elevator with the covered mafia, my hallucinations began… Audio and Visuals – I could’ve sworn Bertha (the leader of the cackle of covered women where I work that refuse to have any form of communication or interaction with any member of the opposite sex, because they wouldn’t want to tempt me – sweetie, there is no way on Earth you will ever - let me repeat that, ever, tempt me) actually said hello to me… like lemmings one by one they all ensued in their good mornings… tears welled up in my eyes – what the hell was happening to me?
Leaving the elevator I took a quick right and then a left and made my way to my department’s designated work space… plunking down at my desk, turning on my computer, the lull of the machine normally puts my heart to ease, but this time, it was frustrating… my fingers were rapping the desk to some 99bpm. My knees started to shake.. the migraine began to pierce my head like a jackhammer – pain, debilitating short term pain, not something you couldn’t live with, but just pain that you didn’t need that early in the morning.
And then, like a ton of bricks, it hits me.. I need caffeine. The pain I’m feeling in my head is because of the caffeine, I need coffee and I need it now. Yes yes I know, it’s an addiction that gives you headaches if you don’t cater to it, stains your teeth, leaves you with nasty coffee breath, a diuretic (need I say more?) – but there’s nothing I can do about it.. I need coffee to start my day and then I might need some coffee before lunch and then I will definitely need coffee after lunch to give me that final push to the day’s finish line.
My derived use of coffee is split down the middle, I like the taste of it when it’s good coffee, and I use it to jolt my system. I’m a regulated addict, I’ll drink it when I need to pick myself up and I’ll drink it whenever I feel like it. it just does so many wondrous things to your heartbeat that you can’t really ignore the benefits of coffee..
When this whole thing started, I was particular with my coffee consumption; i had to be drinking something decent. I refused to go near the instant coffee tin at the office, save that for when you’re trapped in a hidden bunker hiding from the fascists. I’ve been known to slum it and drink the instant or folgers, but the pains in my stomach afterwards are just not worth it. And after a family donation, I was the proud owner of an unused Espresso machine that now resides at our designated workspace. She’s my little baby, she’s temperamental at times and can kick up a fuss, but she does get me going. Her steamer doesn’t work as well as I’d like it too, but she does give me good head, of espresso that is..
It didn’t take long before we’d become world-class baristas: Americanos, Macchiatos, lattes, we even created our own version of the cappuccino – notquiteuccino (told you the steamer doesn’t work). It’s not like we’re dolts that spend all our money ordering from these overpriced coffee houses (that does happen though) – no we buy our ground beans and make our own deliciously tasting coffee… well not right now, because it seems my coffee connection “Midel” can’t seem to find me a regular sized bag of ground espresso, and they’re trying to push the 1 kilo bag of pure Café Colombia.
This started with me being angry at my caffeine addiction and turned into my love affair with coffee and the little krups that could. Don’t you wish you worked with me? On the plus side, you’d be drinking delicious coffee. On the minus, you’d be dealing with highly caffeinated people who would probably get you to sing along to some Sinatra tune – maybe even some 50cent..
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
TV
My favorite comedic (you might have to be from this part of the world to appreciate comedic) show of recent years was Arrested Development (fuck you very much fox network for canceling the only good program in your lineup). I got tired of Friends when I realized that it’s humanly impossible for those bums to be able to afford an apartment that big in Manhattan. Seinfeld got boring when you started chronicling the serious based on Jerry’s ridiculous haircuts. Law and Order got tedious after they made spin off a spin-off: Law and Order: the records department. All those ongoing legal dramas, who knew Boston had so many law firms and so much tension in them? The stupid teen dramas were so far fetched that it was ridiculously unbelievable for that kid with the cowboy hat to fit in Beverly Hills…
Then came the wave of reality TV, where everything was about putting Real People in front of the camera and filming it. Mary-Ellis Bunim held the world ransom with her Real World series and everything else, while Mark Burnett conned the world into making people live like animals on survivor for a measly million dollars. What happened next? A onslaught of the stupidest tv shows ever imaginable: Joe Millionaire, the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, Temptation Island, Mr. Perfect, Trading Spouses, Who cut the Cheese, who wants to be a wrestler, the apprentice, the list just goes on and on. They even had a reality tv show about failed reality tv stars trying to make a real movie, but the process of making the movie was a reality tv show – fuckin’ lame-o. The one thing you can take from these Reality TV shows is how gullible people are when it comes to spoon feeding them something to watch.. You take a bunch of people, throw them on a deserted island, give them 40 days and a bunch of tasks and then let them vote each other off… to me that was just half assed reality tv. If you’re gonna do it, you might as well do it all the way, go for gold. Throw those people on a deserted island, break them up into two teams, make them fight it out to the death and then when there’s one winner left, give him/her the money. They just outlived those other contestants, I’d watch that. Put in real emotion, have revenge twists where the family of one of the dead contestants is put on the island with AK47s and has three hours to extract revenge. As for the Real world, why don’t you really make it like the Real World and throw these people out on the street, or put them all in a 1 bedroom apartment, let them get jobs, let them try to survive, that’s when people really stop being nice…
Today’s TV has evolved to the next popular wave… now you have all these TV series with action and adventure, intense drama and humor. Some have outlived their useful life, while others are still plowing along. I thought I’d single out some of the more popular shows..
Sopranos – Great show but,, HBO should’ve killed everyone at least a season ago.. this is dragging a little too much.. Wiseguys running around Jersey, making the garden state appealing in a mobster kinda way - It’s JERSEY WTF!! Thanks to the defamation of Italian Americans, you now have a bunch of morons saying Bada Bing and hey fughedaboudit. I love all gangster movies, but thanks to the intense popularity of this show, you’ve got middle aged, overweight mortgage brokers in long island hoping to get cast as Tony’s “other cousin” Roberto, the one that just mysteriously showed up to give the story another season. I seriously did see a headshot of an overweight mortgage broker from long island wearing a black leather coat and holding a 357 magnum, ready to “off” somebody for a role. It’s the fucking Cosa Nostra! Not some carnival freak show you take lightly – show some respect.
24 – Thanks to OBL and his Al Qaeda posse of “I’m right and you’re wrong so let me inflict pain on you to get my point through” assholes, 24 became the hottest shit on tv. America is constantly under attack and the entire season is 24 hours long.. How much trouble can American get into in 24 hours? Apparently enough to resurrect Keifer Sutherland’s Career – you lost me with the musketeers movie Keifer.. you lost me..
CSI – following the Police Dramas now Crime Scene Investigators are the “in” heroes. They find the evidence to implicate people in crimes. Pretty cool right? yeah it actually is. Except for the unbelievable fact that the CSI team is so smart that they should actually be giving college lectures instead of searching for DNA with a cotton bud. What I also don’t understand is what is the CSI budget like? I mean the team in Las Vegas have all sorts of cool experiment aiding equipment: pressure testers, volatile chemicals, gadgets and gizmos, all sorts of custom modified gear. And how believable is it that the CSI team is hip and happening and everyone’s very beautiful?
Sex and the City – Damn you 4 ladies for making my life more of a living hell.. if it wasn’t for the odd nude scene every once in a while, there was no way I was going to be able to enjoy the show. I admit the first season and a half were very interesting (when the stars could pass for women in their early to mid thirties looking for love in all the wrong places). A novel show with a fresh approach to being 4 single women in the big city, each with her own agenda. The show blew up, and HBO had another winner. To me, Sex and the City lost its shine when prime time family sitcoms started quoting stuff from the show. You know everything’s gone downhill when an ABC Friday lineup sitcom is discussing Sex and the City and the slutty one’s love interest, the shawarma guy. The show’s over and there will be no more of those 4 ladies roaming New York looking for love in all the wrong places, well except on the rerun loop of eternity. Personally, I think the producers had to make a judgement call, who wants to watch 4 single middle aged women in New York discussing menopause – save that for, Golden Girls “The Next Generation”.
Lost (aka crack cocaine) – I can’t help it.. It’s just one kick in the nuts after another. When you think you finally have a grasp on what’s going on, the show throws you another curveball leaving you as clueless as an anagram solving dyslexic. Basic story – plane crashes on an island, survivors try to survive, all sorts of shit happens. There are holes in the story, but I’m still watching and I’m still addicted. Right now, because you’re in the dark (and have no clue as to where the plot’s heading), any shred of information that’s thrown your way puts you in a catatonic state and rushes through your blood stream making you want more.
So what has this ridiculous rambling on current TV taught us? Absafuckinlootly nothing, just wanted to go off on a rant. TV shows get milked and then butchered and exploited for everything they’re worth, and the networks survive on conning the viewer and sucking him/her in. Example: Matt Groening chained to his desk, by FOX (you guys were already on my shit list for your stupid news station, now you’re on my “sandnigga’s gonna go postal on you” list – what? I can say it, can’t I?) trying to think of the next Simpsons escapade. Or how about the nonstop reruns of Seinfeld and Friends – seriously guys, the party’s over, the only person that’s still laughing are the characters from those sitcoms with their royalty checks. Waitaminute… I think I’ve figured out the reason for this post – because you people were busy watching these stupid shows and not ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, FOX cancelled my favorite show. Damn you Nielsens, DAMN YOU ALL!!!
Then came the wave of reality TV, where everything was about putting Real People in front of the camera and filming it. Mary-Ellis Bunim held the world ransom with her Real World series and everything else, while Mark Burnett conned the world into making people live like animals on survivor for a measly million dollars. What happened next? A onslaught of the stupidest tv shows ever imaginable: Joe Millionaire, the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, Temptation Island, Mr. Perfect, Trading Spouses, Who cut the Cheese, who wants to be a wrestler, the apprentice, the list just goes on and on. They even had a reality tv show about failed reality tv stars trying to make a real movie, but the process of making the movie was a reality tv show – fuckin’ lame-o. The one thing you can take from these Reality TV shows is how gullible people are when it comes to spoon feeding them something to watch.. You take a bunch of people, throw them on a deserted island, give them 40 days and a bunch of tasks and then let them vote each other off… to me that was just half assed reality tv. If you’re gonna do it, you might as well do it all the way, go for gold. Throw those people on a deserted island, break them up into two teams, make them fight it out to the death and then when there’s one winner left, give him/her the money. They just outlived those other contestants, I’d watch that. Put in real emotion, have revenge twists where the family of one of the dead contestants is put on the island with AK47s and has three hours to extract revenge. As for the Real world, why don’t you really make it like the Real World and throw these people out on the street, or put them all in a 1 bedroom apartment, let them get jobs, let them try to survive, that’s when people really stop being nice…
Today’s TV has evolved to the next popular wave… now you have all these TV series with action and adventure, intense drama and humor. Some have outlived their useful life, while others are still plowing along. I thought I’d single out some of the more popular shows..
Sopranos – Great show but,, HBO should’ve killed everyone at least a season ago.. this is dragging a little too much.. Wiseguys running around Jersey, making the garden state appealing in a mobster kinda way - It’s JERSEY WTF!! Thanks to the defamation of Italian Americans, you now have a bunch of morons saying Bada Bing and hey fughedaboudit. I love all gangster movies, but thanks to the intense popularity of this show, you’ve got middle aged, overweight mortgage brokers in long island hoping to get cast as Tony’s “other cousin” Roberto, the one that just mysteriously showed up to give the story another season. I seriously did see a headshot of an overweight mortgage broker from long island wearing a black leather coat and holding a 357 magnum, ready to “off” somebody for a role. It’s the fucking Cosa Nostra! Not some carnival freak show you take lightly – show some respect.
24 – Thanks to OBL and his Al Qaeda posse of “I’m right and you’re wrong so let me inflict pain on you to get my point through” assholes, 24 became the hottest shit on tv. America is constantly under attack and the entire season is 24 hours long.. How much trouble can American get into in 24 hours? Apparently enough to resurrect Keifer Sutherland’s Career – you lost me with the musketeers movie Keifer.. you lost me..
CSI – following the Police Dramas now Crime Scene Investigators are the “in” heroes. They find the evidence to implicate people in crimes. Pretty cool right? yeah it actually is. Except for the unbelievable fact that the CSI team is so smart that they should actually be giving college lectures instead of searching for DNA with a cotton bud. What I also don’t understand is what is the CSI budget like? I mean the team in Las Vegas have all sorts of cool experiment aiding equipment: pressure testers, volatile chemicals, gadgets and gizmos, all sorts of custom modified gear. And how believable is it that the CSI team is hip and happening and everyone’s very beautiful?
Sex and the City – Damn you 4 ladies for making my life more of a living hell.. if it wasn’t for the odd nude scene every once in a while, there was no way I was going to be able to enjoy the show. I admit the first season and a half were very interesting (when the stars could pass for women in their early to mid thirties looking for love in all the wrong places). A novel show with a fresh approach to being 4 single women in the big city, each with her own agenda. The show blew up, and HBO had another winner. To me, Sex and the City lost its shine when prime time family sitcoms started quoting stuff from the show. You know everything’s gone downhill when an ABC Friday lineup sitcom is discussing Sex and the City and the slutty one’s love interest, the shawarma guy. The show’s over and there will be no more of those 4 ladies roaming New York looking for love in all the wrong places, well except on the rerun loop of eternity. Personally, I think the producers had to make a judgement call, who wants to watch 4 single middle aged women in New York discussing menopause – save that for, Golden Girls “The Next Generation”.
Lost (aka crack cocaine) – I can’t help it.. It’s just one kick in the nuts after another. When you think you finally have a grasp on what’s going on, the show throws you another curveball leaving you as clueless as an anagram solving dyslexic. Basic story – plane crashes on an island, survivors try to survive, all sorts of shit happens. There are holes in the story, but I’m still watching and I’m still addicted. Right now, because you’re in the dark (and have no clue as to where the plot’s heading), any shred of information that’s thrown your way puts you in a catatonic state and rushes through your blood stream making you want more.
So what has this ridiculous rambling on current TV taught us? Absafuckinlootly nothing, just wanted to go off on a rant. TV shows get milked and then butchered and exploited for everything they’re worth, and the networks survive on conning the viewer and sucking him/her in. Example: Matt Groening chained to his desk, by FOX (you guys were already on my shit list for your stupid news station, now you’re on my “sandnigga’s gonna go postal on you” list – what? I can say it, can’t I?) trying to think of the next Simpsons escapade. Or how about the nonstop reruns of Seinfeld and Friends – seriously guys, the party’s over, the only person that’s still laughing are the characters from those sitcoms with their royalty checks. Waitaminute… I think I’ve figured out the reason for this post – because you people were busy watching these stupid shows and not ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, FOX cancelled my favorite show. Damn you Nielsens, DAMN YOU ALL!!!
Sunday, July 10, 2005
cinema pingpong (the scousers get it)
I love movies… There’s nothing I enjoy more than being able to tune out for a couple of hours and just follow the story of alien invaders, a female boxer, a tasteless comedy, a gut wrenching drama – whatever you want… Having become a seasoned cinemagoer and an ex-gold card carrying member of Hollywood video (that gold rental card does wonders with the ladies), I’ve figured out what pisses me off when watching a movie and what I can avoid to ensure a decent movie experience. I have a pattern of things I do at the movies, I try to get there slightly early to ensure a good seat, fully loaded with snacks and supplies, a pre-flick slash, I’ll even bring a sweater to the movie with me to combat the air conditioners…
Modus operandi at the cinema involves disbanding into smaller tactically driven units. One team will wait in line to pick up the tickets and pick seats not too far from the screen – the other team will line up to get snacks – there are stand ins waiting in the wings to step in if nature calls while you’re waiting in line.
I just thought I’d share some movie tips and annoyances that you might also harbor – I know I’m not alone on this one…
Obnoxious assholes at the movie theater – these people suck… These are the budding comedians that feel the need to adlib and try out their material in the middle of your movie experience. Hombre, no one is interested in your comments, keep your incredible sense of humor to yourself and save it for the stage. A friend once came over to my place after the cinema but couldn’t tell me how the movie was because some obnoxious person would not Keep quiet in the theater, and the police had to be brought in to remove this punk… You’d have to be on some serious hallucinogenics to be oblivious to everyone in the movie theater telling you to shut the hell up… the thing I don’t understand is that if you’re going to take a hallucinogenic and be oblivious to the outside world – why on earth would you go to the movie theater? If you’re planning on getting drunk and being loud, then the movie theater has to be the dumbest place to go… Some people like to go against the grain and do “their” thing – well allow me to tell you that your thing sucks fucknut..
I just watched the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy this weekend – and thanks to a cackle of the most inappropriately dressed for the cinema (more on that later) bitches (yes bitches, there’s no other way of referring to them – well maybe the one that kept on apologizing for her friends – she can be free from the bitch title) – I couldn’t enjoy the movie.. The head bitch, with her short dress and matching ethnic trinkets barely covering up her hippo thighs - starts talking because she just can’t seem to grasp the plot that Douglas Adams has been revered for… This, (again I’m sorry for the language but everyone in that cinema will be able to back me up on this one) BITCH, sat there talked on her phone, decided to play around with the flashlight on her cell phone taking a look at the movie goers, and started talking about how she lent this guy money and he wasn’t going to pay her back (maybe cause you’re the spokesperson for STDs you fucking inconsiderate douche bag). Walking around with her pretentious supermodel (I just came in from Milan where I was officially made the “&” in Dolce & Gabbana) – yet she has the class, the looks, and attitude of a fat phone sex operator working the graveyard shift servicing drunk bastards with nothing at the end of the night but their dick in their hand… Somebody went and called the usher in cause they couldn’t believe that it was a woman who was being so obnoxious (living in Bahrain, it’s usually a man who’s the obnoxious prick at a movie) – the cackle was asked to grab a hold of themselves but nothing came out of it. I’m praying for warts in your not too distant future. ok –that’s out of my system.. lady, you were a fucking bitch… ok, now it’s really gone…
Nonchalant moviegoers – I avoid these people like the plague… This is the person that when you tell them, “be there at 4:30- the movie starts then, they’ll show up at around 4:45, and you’re stuck waiting for them because you’ve got their ticket… or lets say you’re running late to the movies and there’s that nonchalant moviegoer who has to go and get popcorn and snacks.. These are the people that will tell you “don’t worry there’s at least 10 minutes of upcoming releases” – and then when you walk into the movie, you realize you’ve just missed the quintessential point to the film that would have answered so many questions you will have in the next 45 minutes to an hour…
Censoring – I understand Bahrain is a Muslim nation and that there might be children watching the film… nudity is forbidden, and I can respect that. But why are you going to rate the film if you’re just going to snip it up? Why must my intelligence and maturity be compromised because the censorship authority must dictate what I can and can’t watch at the movie theater? Many teens, growing up in high schools can probably teach the leading actors about to have a moment a thing or two. We can’t hide this stuff anymore from the kids; you might as well start talking to them about it before it’s too late… It’s not the pervert inside me that is complaining about the kissing (he is satisfied with copious amounts of pornography on the internet at the tip of his fingers) – it’s the moviegoer… I can’t tell you how many times the credits would roll around, and they’re the type of credits where they show you the actor or actress and have his/her name under. There would be a couple of shots of actors from the movie that I had no idea who they were… I’m talking about entire scenes cut – for what reason? I don’t know… If you consider us adults, then treat us like adults… just because you feel that religion doesn’t promote this, and the scene interferes with your view of religion then don’t go to the movie theater and don’t let your children go – the rest of us enjoy watching films and we want to see how the story unfurls…
Talkies - These people drive me mad… They love to talk during the movie… I can understand if you missed a line, or something hasn’t registered and you need to ask a clarification question – that’s cool… but if you’re expecting me to explain the plot twists or character development or a question that will require an answer of more than 5 words – that’s un-cool man, really un-cool… You can’t expect me to sit there and be your personal movie buff; watch it in silence and then ask your questions when the movie’s over, who knows, maybe you’ll figure it out for yourself. I can’t stand people that actually don’t have a problem with talking during the movie… I mean, what could have possibly happened from the time you were outside and could talk to your friend freely, to now, when you’re inside the movie theater? The cell phone is another enemy of mine at the cinema.. I mean honestly, you saw the sign – turn off the cell phone or keep it on mute… I understand the might be an emergency, but that’s what the vibrating alert is for right? Do you really think me and everyone else at the theater bought tickets so we can listen to your unbelievably uneventful life? Talking on the phone, is one of the most annoying things you might have to endure at a movie theater here... cut it out… If your friend calls, then don’t answer, leave your phone in the car, isn’t that a little liberating? For those 2 measly hours, no one can contact you?
Cinema Attire - One of the best thing about living in the US was being able to catch all the new releases when they came out.. Saturday afternoons were reserved for the cinema… What I always found strange is the way people dressed for the cinema… Casual, relaxed, people on dates dressed up smartly.. Then, I hate to admit it, you had the Arabs.. I’m not saying all Arabs, because there were many whom remained in their university sweatpants, jeans, sneakers, flipflops, and baseball cap… But there were some and I mean some of the women that would get decked out: pull out the latest thousand dollar handbag made by a Chinese French designer that doesn’t have a name (it’s pronounced more like a sound effect)… throw on their flashy designer jeans (the jeans that go out of their way to remind that they’re designer).. Makeup that would make you think MAC was having a “going out of business sale”.. Do you know how incredibly stupid that looked? A movie theater? Where it was going to be dark? Granted sometimes these women had gone out to dinner beforehand and had a need to get dressed up… The other women that really had no reason – dressed up because they wanted to be seen looking really “hot and trendy“ in the darkness of a movie theater – has that sunk in yet? The darkness of a movie theater. Anyways, you can dress anyway you feel like it, and if you could afford to drop that much cash on a new weekly wardrobe, then all the power to you… I just thought it was kinda odd that you’d get dolled up for the movies…
This whole thing started because of that cackle of disgusting, inconsiderate, ill-mannered and probably ho-ing group of women that should have read the synopsis on the Hitchhiker’s guide to the Galaxy before they decided to ruin the movie for everyone in the cinema… I still can’t tell if I liked the movie or not – I think I’m going to have to watch it again…
Modus operandi at the cinema involves disbanding into smaller tactically driven units. One team will wait in line to pick up the tickets and pick seats not too far from the screen – the other team will line up to get snacks – there are stand ins waiting in the wings to step in if nature calls while you’re waiting in line.
I just thought I’d share some movie tips and annoyances that you might also harbor – I know I’m not alone on this one…
Obnoxious assholes at the movie theater – these people suck… These are the budding comedians that feel the need to adlib and try out their material in the middle of your movie experience. Hombre, no one is interested in your comments, keep your incredible sense of humor to yourself and save it for the stage. A friend once came over to my place after the cinema but couldn’t tell me how the movie was because some obnoxious person would not Keep quiet in the theater, and the police had to be brought in to remove this punk… You’d have to be on some serious hallucinogenics to be oblivious to everyone in the movie theater telling you to shut the hell up… the thing I don’t understand is that if you’re going to take a hallucinogenic and be oblivious to the outside world – why on earth would you go to the movie theater? If you’re planning on getting drunk and being loud, then the movie theater has to be the dumbest place to go… Some people like to go against the grain and do “their” thing – well allow me to tell you that your thing sucks fucknut..
I just watched the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy this weekend – and thanks to a cackle of the most inappropriately dressed for the cinema (more on that later) bitches (yes bitches, there’s no other way of referring to them – well maybe the one that kept on apologizing for her friends – she can be free from the bitch title) – I couldn’t enjoy the movie.. The head bitch, with her short dress and matching ethnic trinkets barely covering up her hippo thighs - starts talking because she just can’t seem to grasp the plot that Douglas Adams has been revered for… This, (again I’m sorry for the language but everyone in that cinema will be able to back me up on this one) BITCH, sat there talked on her phone, decided to play around with the flashlight on her cell phone taking a look at the movie goers, and started talking about how she lent this guy money and he wasn’t going to pay her back (maybe cause you’re the spokesperson for STDs you fucking inconsiderate douche bag). Walking around with her pretentious supermodel (I just came in from Milan where I was officially made the “&” in Dolce & Gabbana) – yet she has the class, the looks, and attitude of a fat phone sex operator working the graveyard shift servicing drunk bastards with nothing at the end of the night but their dick in their hand… Somebody went and called the usher in cause they couldn’t believe that it was a woman who was being so obnoxious (living in Bahrain, it’s usually a man who’s the obnoxious prick at a movie) – the cackle was asked to grab a hold of themselves but nothing came out of it. I’m praying for warts in your not too distant future. ok –that’s out of my system.. lady, you were a fucking bitch… ok, now it’s really gone…
Nonchalant moviegoers – I avoid these people like the plague… This is the person that when you tell them, “be there at 4:30- the movie starts then, they’ll show up at around 4:45, and you’re stuck waiting for them because you’ve got their ticket… or lets say you’re running late to the movies and there’s that nonchalant moviegoer who has to go and get popcorn and snacks.. These are the people that will tell you “don’t worry there’s at least 10 minutes of upcoming releases” – and then when you walk into the movie, you realize you’ve just missed the quintessential point to the film that would have answered so many questions you will have in the next 45 minutes to an hour…
Censoring – I understand Bahrain is a Muslim nation and that there might be children watching the film… nudity is forbidden, and I can respect that. But why are you going to rate the film if you’re just going to snip it up? Why must my intelligence and maturity be compromised because the censorship authority must dictate what I can and can’t watch at the movie theater? Many teens, growing up in high schools can probably teach the leading actors about to have a moment a thing or two. We can’t hide this stuff anymore from the kids; you might as well start talking to them about it before it’s too late… It’s not the pervert inside me that is complaining about the kissing (he is satisfied with copious amounts of pornography on the internet at the tip of his fingers) – it’s the moviegoer… I can’t tell you how many times the credits would roll around, and they’re the type of credits where they show you the actor or actress and have his/her name under. There would be a couple of shots of actors from the movie that I had no idea who they were… I’m talking about entire scenes cut – for what reason? I don’t know… If you consider us adults, then treat us like adults… just because you feel that religion doesn’t promote this, and the scene interferes with your view of religion then don’t go to the movie theater and don’t let your children go – the rest of us enjoy watching films and we want to see how the story unfurls…
Talkies - These people drive me mad… They love to talk during the movie… I can understand if you missed a line, or something hasn’t registered and you need to ask a clarification question – that’s cool… but if you’re expecting me to explain the plot twists or character development or a question that will require an answer of more than 5 words – that’s un-cool man, really un-cool… You can’t expect me to sit there and be your personal movie buff; watch it in silence and then ask your questions when the movie’s over, who knows, maybe you’ll figure it out for yourself. I can’t stand people that actually don’t have a problem with talking during the movie… I mean, what could have possibly happened from the time you were outside and could talk to your friend freely, to now, when you’re inside the movie theater? The cell phone is another enemy of mine at the cinema.. I mean honestly, you saw the sign – turn off the cell phone or keep it on mute… I understand the might be an emergency, but that’s what the vibrating alert is for right? Do you really think me and everyone else at the theater bought tickets so we can listen to your unbelievably uneventful life? Talking on the phone, is one of the most annoying things you might have to endure at a movie theater here... cut it out… If your friend calls, then don’t answer, leave your phone in the car, isn’t that a little liberating? For those 2 measly hours, no one can contact you?
Cinema Attire - One of the best thing about living in the US was being able to catch all the new releases when they came out.. Saturday afternoons were reserved for the cinema… What I always found strange is the way people dressed for the cinema… Casual, relaxed, people on dates dressed up smartly.. Then, I hate to admit it, you had the Arabs.. I’m not saying all Arabs, because there were many whom remained in their university sweatpants, jeans, sneakers, flipflops, and baseball cap… But there were some and I mean some of the women that would get decked out: pull out the latest thousand dollar handbag made by a Chinese French designer that doesn’t have a name (it’s pronounced more like a sound effect)… throw on their flashy designer jeans (the jeans that go out of their way to remind that they’re designer).. Makeup that would make you think MAC was having a “going out of business sale”.. Do you know how incredibly stupid that looked? A movie theater? Where it was going to be dark? Granted sometimes these women had gone out to dinner beforehand and had a need to get dressed up… The other women that really had no reason – dressed up because they wanted to be seen looking really “hot and trendy“ in the darkness of a movie theater – has that sunk in yet? The darkness of a movie theater. Anyways, you can dress anyway you feel like it, and if you could afford to drop that much cash on a new weekly wardrobe, then all the power to you… I just thought it was kinda odd that you’d get dolled up for the movies…
This whole thing started because of that cackle of disgusting, inconsiderate, ill-mannered and probably ho-ing group of women that should have read the synopsis on the Hitchhiker’s guide to the Galaxy before they decided to ruin the movie for everyone in the cinema… I still can’t tell if I liked the movie or not – I think I’m going to have to watch it again…
Monday, July 04, 2005
An exercise in 5 minute ranting…
Time: 9:28 AM
Do you ever wonder what the deal is with the Special Bahraini Mix? Everything we eat or drink, we have to have a Special Bahraini mix for it… you eat a Shawarma, there’s a Special Bahraini mix for the shawarma where they add Crystal hot sauce, extra chilies, and French Fries (but I love my Shawarma the way it’s normally served)… you want juice, then there’s the special Bahraini mix for juice, it’s the exact same cocktail, but its got one additional fruit making it the Special Bahraini mix – you can’t even tell the difference from the other juices, but at least you’re drinking the Special Bahraini mix… at my office they have filter coffee, instant coffee and tea… all three are mixed together along with coffee mate and some cardamom evaporated milk to come up with the Special Bahraini Mix - who decided all of this, I'm not really sure - but it's called the Special Bahraini Mix on my floor… You want to eat some grills (Mashwiyaat), there’s always some Special Bahraini Mix… The funny thing is whenever you go to one of these places and ask the guy what’s good, he’ll tell you, “you try Special Bahraini mix” – and then I say “yalla – bring for me Special Bahraini mix”… you know what I get after that? Chicken and beef on a skewer, or a shawarma over stuffed with beef and chicken.. This is the crafty work of some fella who wants to fool people by telling them this is the way Bahraini’s love their food – all hashed together and mixed up, it’s the Bahraini way – chicken, meat and cheese all cooked together … and the thing is, I get suckered into it all the time - why? I have no idea why, it just happens… I will still probably get suckered into the Special Bahraini mix the next time I feel a little peckish…
Time: 9:34 AM (so it took 6 minutes - sue me)
Do you ever wonder what the deal is with the Special Bahraini Mix? Everything we eat or drink, we have to have a Special Bahraini mix for it… you eat a Shawarma, there’s a Special Bahraini mix for the shawarma where they add Crystal hot sauce, extra chilies, and French Fries (but I love my Shawarma the way it’s normally served)… you want juice, then there’s the special Bahraini mix for juice, it’s the exact same cocktail, but its got one additional fruit making it the Special Bahraini mix – you can’t even tell the difference from the other juices, but at least you’re drinking the Special Bahraini mix… at my office they have filter coffee, instant coffee and tea… all three are mixed together along with coffee mate and some cardamom evaporated milk to come up with the Special Bahraini Mix - who decided all of this, I'm not really sure - but it's called the Special Bahraini Mix on my floor… You want to eat some grills (Mashwiyaat), there’s always some Special Bahraini Mix… The funny thing is whenever you go to one of these places and ask the guy what’s good, he’ll tell you, “you try Special Bahraini mix” – and then I say “yalla – bring for me Special Bahraini mix”… you know what I get after that? Chicken and beef on a skewer, or a shawarma over stuffed with beef and chicken.. This is the crafty work of some fella who wants to fool people by telling them this is the way Bahraini’s love their food – all hashed together and mixed up, it’s the Bahraini way – chicken, meat and cheese all cooked together … and the thing is, I get suckered into it all the time - why? I have no idea why, it just happens… I will still probably get suckered into the Special Bahraini mix the next time I feel a little peckish…
Time: 9:34 AM (so it took 6 minutes - sue me)
Monday, June 20, 2005
New Bracelet: “You’re an Idiot”
Ok so Lance “I’ve seen Sheryl Crow nekid” Armstrong, decides to start off this new fad with these yellow plastic bracelets… Inscribed on the bracelet, as you already know is “LIVESTRONG”…. See Lance had testicular cancer and beat it (punning), so he forms this foundation to support survivors of testicular cancer… He wore the bracelet when he won the Tour De France, and pretty soon everyone started wearing them.. For USD 1, you too could own a yellow, fashionable article and still show people that, “Hey guys, I’m sympathetic towards testicular cancer survivors… and I’m cool like Lance.”
So what happens next? The world is awash in yellow bracelets: Athletes, Actors, businessmen, students, soccer moms, doctors, everyone was wearing this yellow bracelet… At first the bracelet carried a lot of meaning, it symbolized beating a horrible disease, it meant pushing yourself like lance did to win another Tour De France and break a world record… Pretty soon, everyone and their mother is wearing live strong bracelets, they even began floating around the profiteering market for USD 9 instead of USD 1…
It was not long before some other group gets the idea of getting pink bracelets for breast cancer, and then blue ones for some other disease, then black and white to stamp out racism, and then green for the rainforest, and then just plain white to end poverty, and then magenta for men who like pink, and then brown color to support diarrhea (IBS) sufferers … This bracelet phenomenon has just taken the planet by storm – a very tacky and unoriginal storm…
Walking around, you’ll see a bunch of people wearing these stupid bracelets… support, donate do whatever you want to do: I’ll commend that, but to walk around like you even care about supporting this cause? Please… We can spot you for the fake poser that you really are… This is not fashion, this is a fad, a very very overdone fad.. it’s served it’s useful life… Friends exchange them with other friends, people who can’t find the real plastic buy the fake ones.. The current thing is that you release these little plastic bands for any occasion.. Liverpool in Istanbul for the Champions League Final (sorry rf) - they need to release a bracelet. Lebanon and their new democracy – lets release some bracelets. Mike Tyson retired, lets release a bracelet to commemorate and charge people. What started off as a good idea to raise money for a worthy cause, has turned into a walking advertisement and a silly bandwagon way to make money… It’s gotten so bad that I actually saw a black bracelet the other day with the “Playa” inscribed on it… Why would anyone want to wear a bracelet like that? If you want to wear something on your hand, why can’t you go find one of those handmade bracelets? At least those weren’t made out of a mold…
It started off with you laughing at people unaware of the cause they were supporting with their bracelet – so then you’d have to criticize and ask “you bought this bracelet, but you don’t even know that you’ve contributed to support testicular cancer? What kind of a moron are you?” Then the moron wises up and then can state “umm yeah, it supports testicular cancer survivors – Lance Armstrong and shit.. Livestrong.”
Teenyboppers and their fascination with overdoing it to the extreme… now it’s cool if you show off all your bracelets.. so people are sporting around 3-5 different colored bracelets.. Now I’ll give you props over this whole bracelet issue if you were supporting Gay rights and the different colored bracelets on your arm symbolized the Gay rainbow… Otherwise, whomever came up with the idea of wearing more than one bracelet, should have to wear a t-shirt stating him to be the idiot responsible for this stupid piece of plastic on your hand…
There needs to be some accountability for this stupid fad…
If you do truly support these causes, then good for you… fight the good fight… I’m just poking fun at the people who’ve decided to take a good idea for a good cause and squeeze the profit and reveal it for what it really is: an expiring fad…
So what happens next? The world is awash in yellow bracelets: Athletes, Actors, businessmen, students, soccer moms, doctors, everyone was wearing this yellow bracelet… At first the bracelet carried a lot of meaning, it symbolized beating a horrible disease, it meant pushing yourself like lance did to win another Tour De France and break a world record… Pretty soon, everyone and their mother is wearing live strong bracelets, they even began floating around the profiteering market for USD 9 instead of USD 1…
It was not long before some other group gets the idea of getting pink bracelets for breast cancer, and then blue ones for some other disease, then black and white to stamp out racism, and then green for the rainforest, and then just plain white to end poverty, and then magenta for men who like pink, and then brown color to support diarrhea (IBS) sufferers … This bracelet phenomenon has just taken the planet by storm – a very tacky and unoriginal storm…
Walking around, you’ll see a bunch of people wearing these stupid bracelets… support, donate do whatever you want to do: I’ll commend that, but to walk around like you even care about supporting this cause? Please… We can spot you for the fake poser that you really are… This is not fashion, this is a fad, a very very overdone fad.. it’s served it’s useful life… Friends exchange them with other friends, people who can’t find the real plastic buy the fake ones.. The current thing is that you release these little plastic bands for any occasion.. Liverpool in Istanbul for the Champions League Final (sorry rf) - they need to release a bracelet. Lebanon and their new democracy – lets release some bracelets. Mike Tyson retired, lets release a bracelet to commemorate and charge people. What started off as a good idea to raise money for a worthy cause, has turned into a walking advertisement and a silly bandwagon way to make money… It’s gotten so bad that I actually saw a black bracelet the other day with the “Playa” inscribed on it… Why would anyone want to wear a bracelet like that? If you want to wear something on your hand, why can’t you go find one of those handmade bracelets? At least those weren’t made out of a mold…
It started off with you laughing at people unaware of the cause they were supporting with their bracelet – so then you’d have to criticize and ask “you bought this bracelet, but you don’t even know that you’ve contributed to support testicular cancer? What kind of a moron are you?” Then the moron wises up and then can state “umm yeah, it supports testicular cancer survivors – Lance Armstrong and shit.. Livestrong.”
Teenyboppers and their fascination with overdoing it to the extreme… now it’s cool if you show off all your bracelets.. so people are sporting around 3-5 different colored bracelets.. Now I’ll give you props over this whole bracelet issue if you were supporting Gay rights and the different colored bracelets on your arm symbolized the Gay rainbow… Otherwise, whomever came up with the idea of wearing more than one bracelet, should have to wear a t-shirt stating him to be the idiot responsible for this stupid piece of plastic on your hand…
There needs to be some accountability for this stupid fad…
If you do truly support these causes, then good for you… fight the good fight… I’m just poking fun at the people who’ve decided to take a good idea for a good cause and squeeze the profit and reveal it for what it really is: an expiring fad…
Saturday, May 21, 2005
bumper steeekers
One of the other fads in Bahrain that I've totally missed out on is the bumber sticker craze... Ok let me rephrase, it's not just bumper stickers, they're stickers all over a car, on the rear windsheild, side of the car, front of the car... you get the drift...
Driving around you see these minibuses: small white Japanese minibus with curtains on the back side windows, something dangling from the rearview mirror... the dude drives a bus that he rents out to drive people around, so he's got this huge advertisment consisting of his number and his name... I don't find this weird, I just love reading the names: Bu Hashim, el Jasmi, Sayed mahmood... I just like reading the name cause then you immediately assume it's el Jasmi driving the bus and you just want to honk your horn and say hello.
Riceboys... If i am getting this term right, it is a poke towards people who take their Japanese cars and fix them up to look "riced out"... Anyways, stuck in traffic again you might come across a ricemobile... something really slick, a honda taken to the max, real low, dynamite rims, a scary kit - or you might come across a wannabe rice... I'm talking about the poser in his sunny or corolla, with nothing done to the car, except a multitude of racing stickers plastered all over the car... I'm mean honestly brah, why would you even have a NOS sticker on your car if you don't have it,, what's the point?
My favorite stickers are the ones on celebrity characters... Che, bob, and the hero of my childhood cartoon adnan wa leena (future boy conan), absee... I would love to know where they sell those stickers.. I get so flustered when I see someone showing off Che's image - do you even know what the man believed in? boludo... Sometimes I wonder, if he were alive, how would he feel that someone was making money off his face on t-shirts, posters and stickers...
People go to the extent of naming their cars... I really appreciate the bahraini's love with his motor vehicle.. The guy just falls in love with his mode of transportation that he gives it a name... some of the names are just hillarious.. There's el anood, azzizah, el khateer, el ajeeb, Fallllaah, nite ryder, etc. Just great humor, you can't deny it...
This has nothing to do with bumper stickers but it's also worth mentioning... commercial establishments sometimes advertise on their cars. Some companies dont bother with making sure the advertisement is edited. There was this maintenance company that serviced fridges and gas terminals? (I'm just recounting what was on the back of the truck).. the advert said "FRIGEN GAS" - It was just too funny thinking frigging gas...
This one takes the cake for me... More religiously fervent people feel that they need to make a public statement by thanking god... Being with the new century you can buy these stickers that thank God in Arabic and in English.. The Arabic phrase for it is Al hamdulilah - thanks be to God. The graphic in arabic is stretched out enough to make space for the english translation : Thank Godness... I honestly don't know if it's grammatically correct or not, I've never really heard the phrase before, but I'm not here to discount it. You know when you read something that isn't normally in your vocabulary.. Thank Godness or Goodness? I've never heard of Godness, what do they mean?
I love getting amused on the road.. A little humor can go a long way, and when el Jasmi drives by, give him a hello honk on your horn, he'll honk back and you'll have a laugh.. totally worth it - trust me..
Driving around you see these minibuses: small white Japanese minibus with curtains on the back side windows, something dangling from the rearview mirror... the dude drives a bus that he rents out to drive people around, so he's got this huge advertisment consisting of his number and his name... I don't find this weird, I just love reading the names: Bu Hashim, el Jasmi, Sayed mahmood... I just like reading the name cause then you immediately assume it's el Jasmi driving the bus and you just want to honk your horn and say hello.
Riceboys... If i am getting this term right, it is a poke towards people who take their Japanese cars and fix them up to look "riced out"... Anyways, stuck in traffic again you might come across a ricemobile... something really slick, a honda taken to the max, real low, dynamite rims, a scary kit - or you might come across a wannabe rice... I'm talking about the poser in his sunny or corolla, with nothing done to the car, except a multitude of racing stickers plastered all over the car... I'm mean honestly brah, why would you even have a NOS sticker on your car if you don't have it,, what's the point?
My favorite stickers are the ones on celebrity characters... Che, bob, and the hero of my childhood cartoon adnan wa leena (future boy conan), absee... I would love to know where they sell those stickers.. I get so flustered when I see someone showing off Che's image - do you even know what the man believed in? boludo... Sometimes I wonder, if he were alive, how would he feel that someone was making money off his face on t-shirts, posters and stickers...
People go to the extent of naming their cars... I really appreciate the bahraini's love with his motor vehicle.. The guy just falls in love with his mode of transportation that he gives it a name... some of the names are just hillarious.. There's el anood, azzizah, el khateer, el ajeeb, Fallllaah, nite ryder, etc. Just great humor, you can't deny it...
This has nothing to do with bumper stickers but it's also worth mentioning... commercial establishments sometimes advertise on their cars. Some companies dont bother with making sure the advertisement is edited. There was this maintenance company that serviced fridges and gas terminals? (I'm just recounting what was on the back of the truck).. the advert said "FRIGEN GAS" - It was just too funny thinking frigging gas...
This one takes the cake for me... More religiously fervent people feel that they need to make a public statement by thanking god... Being with the new century you can buy these stickers that thank God in Arabic and in English.. The Arabic phrase for it is Al hamdulilah - thanks be to God. The graphic in arabic is stretched out enough to make space for the english translation : Thank Godness... I honestly don't know if it's grammatically correct or not, I've never really heard the phrase before, but I'm not here to discount it. You know when you read something that isn't normally in your vocabulary.. Thank Godness or Goodness? I've never heard of Godness, what do they mean?
I love getting amused on the road.. A little humor can go a long way, and when el Jasmi drives by, give him a hello honk on your horn, he'll honk back and you'll have a laugh.. totally worth it - trust me..
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
a 20something something
Maybe you’ve already passed this moment, maybe it hasn’t hit you yet… but the 20something somethings can be a difficult moment in anyone’s life.. You’ve graduated college and then it hits you.. What the hell am I supposed to do now? For the past 3-4 years you nestled yourself in the safe arms of your university taking your required courses and your rinky dink classes (don’t you miss your rinky dink classes? Finger painting, the history of cheese, resurrection of dead languages, etc.)… Then you graduate, and then start thinking “fuck… what now? Job? No job?” Your friends, the ones who properly planned for life after college already had their jobs lined from their internships or their interviewing and lets face the facts taking all those finance related courses really paid off, should’ve listened to them instead of groofin wif dem Rastafarians… So then you do whatever every other unemployed person with no idea of what kind of career they want does, you start going to interviews, trying to sell yourself to recruiters at random companies. You’re trying to do whatever you can, checking out sales positions, applying for desk jobs, internet, job postings, anything. Then there’s the unattainable job that you spot, the one that requires all those years of experience but will have you traveling all round the world and pays out the right salary to afford that sports car you’ve always wanted – so you do it, send your resume and cover letter hoping that there’s a glimmer of a chance that the HR person is inebriated and they call you immediately for an interview. But you’re not getting any attention cause you’re an entry level punching bag, and the best you can hope for is a entry level punching bag position… They look you over and over, you have no bargaining power over them, you bring nothing to the table, except a fine understanding of finger painting - they give you one look and tell you welcome aboard…
And there you go, from recent grad, to entry level tea boy (some of the best producers in the music industry started off making tea in the studio)… making copies, trying to learn, hoping to be a good enough gopher that someone will notice your effort.. Ohh and believe me they will notice your effort.. they notice your work so much that they begin dumping everything on you, freeing up their schedule up for golf… But that’s just your work life.. You’ve got something in the bank and you can blow it off anyway you want… It’s a job, and this is what you could expect from your first job, getting bitch slapped like you’re name is Chantilly Sugar – deal with it… So you learn, you listen, you pick everything up and use it to your advantage; now you’ve got something to offer and it will help you in your next job.. or you can be your own personal hero and bust out of that job you hate like a true outlaw. I am a firm believer in the notion that you should have at least one fiery resignation in your lifetime – telling that asshole boss off. Don’t lose it like Jerry Maguire, but something that will leave a lasting effect in their minds including yours – cause for that one moment you didn’t give a shit about money or your future, you put your needs in the forefront and that’s what really builds character…
Ok so you’ve sorted out your professional life, now what? Your personal life, needs a new direction – cartoon network and cereal isn’t going to cut it anymore… You get your friends who immediately start thinking about settling down, new job – new life, might as well change it all and get married… So people hurriedly get themselves tangled in the blissful web of matrimony, and you start sweating… it starts off early or it could’ve just started, but a friend of yours gets married, and pretty soon people start giving you the winks and nudges… you look away at first, but more and more people you know start getting married and you think “should I be considering this?” maybe you should, it’s your life, I’m just telling you of the pressures you could possibly face… Whatever you decide, make sure it’s your decision... It’s ok to fall in love and make a mistake, but don’t do it cause you’re forced into it or cause you’re bored with your life… So love conquers all, or you’re sitting there just focusing on the other aspects of your life… Another aspect of married life is children… you know you’re growing up when you have a bbq with your friends and a little toddler shows up.. Your friends have kids or they’re expecting,,, should you sweat a little more? I don’t know it’s up to you, but this will be another issue you will tackle… End of the day it’s not your kid, you can play with them until they shit themselves – then you give the little one back to mommy or daddy…
Being a productive member of society also comes with it’s own hitches… You’re now expected to follow a certain path… you can’t run around causing mayhem and havoc like you did just recently… In your previous life, you didn’t know what the term weekend really meant, cause lets face it, everyday was a weekend, you decided whether you were going to wake up today or not, or whether a 72 hour videogame marathon was doable… No no no, your weekends now are sacred, the one chance you have to unwind and let it all go down… no need to shave, bathe, dress nicely.. You can pull a homer and hang out in your underwear all day if you like.. It’s your weekend… Maybe you’ll come to the realization as the years have rolled on by, you’ve started to lose whatever you had in common with your friends.. Maybe you’ll make new friends, maybe you’ll come to realize that the people you have as friends will forever be there and help you when you need it the most…
Changes my friend, this period of time is all about changes and uncertainty… There is no clear path for you, it’s like driving in fog, you’re on the right road, you’re getting there, but you need to stay focused on what’s immediately ahead of you and you can speed up if you like, but that could lead to an accident, or not... Don’t sweat it too much, there’s no need to be this worried, life always works out and if it doesn’t, then you make it work out.. That’s why you have a university degree right?
During this period, you will meet other 20somethings that have done much better than you, and others that are doing much worse than you… the point of this whole experience is to understand that this is life… people will be better than you, make more money, have better jobs, seem like they’re on the accelerated path to success; and people will be much worse off than you wishing they could have your dead end job with no benefits. If you stop to watch other people, then you’re allowing yourself to get left behind… focus on yourself and live your life the way you want to live it – just don’t bug out, the universe is not conspiring to make your life miserable…
And there you go, from recent grad, to entry level tea boy (some of the best producers in the music industry started off making tea in the studio)… making copies, trying to learn, hoping to be a good enough gopher that someone will notice your effort.. Ohh and believe me they will notice your effort.. they notice your work so much that they begin dumping everything on you, freeing up their schedule up for golf… But that’s just your work life.. You’ve got something in the bank and you can blow it off anyway you want… It’s a job, and this is what you could expect from your first job, getting bitch slapped like you’re name is Chantilly Sugar – deal with it… So you learn, you listen, you pick everything up and use it to your advantage; now you’ve got something to offer and it will help you in your next job.. or you can be your own personal hero and bust out of that job you hate like a true outlaw. I am a firm believer in the notion that you should have at least one fiery resignation in your lifetime – telling that asshole boss off. Don’t lose it like Jerry Maguire, but something that will leave a lasting effect in their minds including yours – cause for that one moment you didn’t give a shit about money or your future, you put your needs in the forefront and that’s what really builds character…
Ok so you’ve sorted out your professional life, now what? Your personal life, needs a new direction – cartoon network and cereal isn’t going to cut it anymore… You get your friends who immediately start thinking about settling down, new job – new life, might as well change it all and get married… So people hurriedly get themselves tangled in the blissful web of matrimony, and you start sweating… it starts off early or it could’ve just started, but a friend of yours gets married, and pretty soon people start giving you the winks and nudges… you look away at first, but more and more people you know start getting married and you think “should I be considering this?” maybe you should, it’s your life, I’m just telling you of the pressures you could possibly face… Whatever you decide, make sure it’s your decision... It’s ok to fall in love and make a mistake, but don’t do it cause you’re forced into it or cause you’re bored with your life… So love conquers all, or you’re sitting there just focusing on the other aspects of your life… Another aspect of married life is children… you know you’re growing up when you have a bbq with your friends and a little toddler shows up.. Your friends have kids or they’re expecting,,, should you sweat a little more? I don’t know it’s up to you, but this will be another issue you will tackle… End of the day it’s not your kid, you can play with them until they shit themselves – then you give the little one back to mommy or daddy…
Being a productive member of society also comes with it’s own hitches… You’re now expected to follow a certain path… you can’t run around causing mayhem and havoc like you did just recently… In your previous life, you didn’t know what the term weekend really meant, cause lets face it, everyday was a weekend, you decided whether you were going to wake up today or not, or whether a 72 hour videogame marathon was doable… No no no, your weekends now are sacred, the one chance you have to unwind and let it all go down… no need to shave, bathe, dress nicely.. You can pull a homer and hang out in your underwear all day if you like.. It’s your weekend… Maybe you’ll come to the realization as the years have rolled on by, you’ve started to lose whatever you had in common with your friends.. Maybe you’ll make new friends, maybe you’ll come to realize that the people you have as friends will forever be there and help you when you need it the most…
Changes my friend, this period of time is all about changes and uncertainty… There is no clear path for you, it’s like driving in fog, you’re on the right road, you’re getting there, but you need to stay focused on what’s immediately ahead of you and you can speed up if you like, but that could lead to an accident, or not... Don’t sweat it too much, there’s no need to be this worried, life always works out and if it doesn’t, then you make it work out.. That’s why you have a university degree right?
During this period, you will meet other 20somethings that have done much better than you, and others that are doing much worse than you… the point of this whole experience is to understand that this is life… people will be better than you, make more money, have better jobs, seem like they’re on the accelerated path to success; and people will be much worse off than you wishing they could have your dead end job with no benefits. If you stop to watch other people, then you’re allowing yourself to get left behind… focus on yourself and live your life the way you want to live it – just don’t bug out, the universe is not conspiring to make your life miserable…
Thursday, April 07, 2005
OCD.. OCD.. OCD.. OCD.. OCD..
Everyone has them; I’ve got a few. They don’t really take over my life, but they are more like little quirks in my life… I checked out the obsessive-compulsive disorder foundation and got this from their site, ” In OCD, it is as though the brain gets stuck on a particular thought or urge and just can't let go. People with OCD often say the symptoms feel like a case of mental hiccups that won't go away. OCD is a medical brain disorder that causes problems in information processing. It is not your fault or the result of a "weak" or unstable personality.” The website states that an OCD can range from a little background noise to something taking over your life… I just thought I’d dissect the few common ones that I’ve noticed in myself and the people around me… Now I wont go so far as to calling them obsessive compulsive because they don’t slow me down and occupy my time, but they are the little quirks that really make me the neurotic person that I am… I’m not a doctor and if you’re a doctor or studying to be one forgive me because I’m going to call them OCDs (just like the way it sounds)…
The biggest OCD I have is locking things and double-checking if I’ve locked them… This usually happens with my car, apartment, etc… I’d drive to where I’m supposed to be… get out of the car, lock it (doesn’t matter if it’s by remote or actually locking the car through the door) and then walk off to wherever I’m going… about 10 seconds into the walk, I’d stop and then ask myself (did I just lock the car?), then I’d frantically run back, lock it twice (y’know, to make certain no one can get in) and then go back to what I’m doing… Sometimes I’d get as far as three city blocks before I start doubting myself, then I try to calm myself, and then I’d doubt myself again until I’d run back to the car… Friends that actually know this silly habit of mine, do their best to remember if I’ve locked or not (even if they reassure me, I have a way of making them doubt themselves, and then there I am, running back to the car). I need to lock the car and make sure it’s locked… I like to hear the locking confirmation sound when you press that button on your key.. beep beep.. yep it’s locked.. waitaminute… beep beep.. ok now I know it’s locked… waitaminute.. beep beep… aaahhh… one more time?
Other people have other OCDs… There’s the placement issue, in which everything needs to be organized… if you’re having dinner and you separate the salt and peppershakers from each other, my friend gets annoyed and has to bring them back together… I’d move the shakers away from each other, and you can see her notice them… she then waits a bit, tries to not let it bother her and then while you’re not looking, finally loses it and moves them back together… I like to run these little experiments on my friends, it makes waiting for your lunch so much more enjoyable…
I have another friend who needs to have the remote controls to his TV, Stereo, DVD, and whatever else all lined up side by side all facing the TV at all times, and they have to be in descending order in terms of size of the remote control… if he notices the remotes apart from each other, he will move them around… Imagine playing winning 11, bitch slapping Classic Argentina with your Classic Holland team, and the guy has to pause the game in the middle of an attack to line up the remote controls on his coffee table… DOH-NUT!
Another thing I do is hang-ups over washing my hands. I need to keep my hands clean throughout the day… My girl (who has many many mental hiccups - kidding) also has a washing OCD… she actually has a method in which she washes her hands and follows a routine. She only washes her hands that specific way and does not like smelling anything other than soap on her hands… me I just like to make sure they’re clean and I don’t trust anything except soap.. It’s not so much as washing my hands, but I just need to see soap there attempting to kick bacteria’s ass…
Airports are another place where people do this self-doubting thing as well… People will check their backpack 20 times to make sure the ticket; passport and travel documents are all safe and present… I mean you just checked 2 minutes ago, why do you need to check again…
How about people that need to lay on the side of the bed closest to the door to feel safe and have a good nights sleep… me I don’t care, I can sleep anywhere on the bed as long as it’s on the bed.. But there are people that need to sleep closest to the door, y’know in case of a fire or something like that, the flip side to this thought is that what if a mass murderer walked into the room, you’d be the first one he/she sees, now do you feel safe about sleeping closest to the door?
So these are some of the OCDs that I’ve dug up… I know there are more around, and many people have them, it’s totally natural… you should not be ashamed of the fact that you’re a neurotic person with a thing for spraying the entire bathroom with bleach before you take a bath. Expose your quirks to the world, let us laugh and ridicule at your expense, give me something to read…
The biggest OCD I have is locking things and double-checking if I’ve locked them… This usually happens with my car, apartment, etc… I’d drive to where I’m supposed to be… get out of the car, lock it (doesn’t matter if it’s by remote or actually locking the car through the door) and then walk off to wherever I’m going… about 10 seconds into the walk, I’d stop and then ask myself (did I just lock the car?), then I’d frantically run back, lock it twice (y’know, to make certain no one can get in) and then go back to what I’m doing… Sometimes I’d get as far as three city blocks before I start doubting myself, then I try to calm myself, and then I’d doubt myself again until I’d run back to the car… Friends that actually know this silly habit of mine, do their best to remember if I’ve locked or not (even if they reassure me, I have a way of making them doubt themselves, and then there I am, running back to the car). I need to lock the car and make sure it’s locked… I like to hear the locking confirmation sound when you press that button on your key.. beep beep.. yep it’s locked.. waitaminute… beep beep.. ok now I know it’s locked… waitaminute.. beep beep… aaahhh… one more time?
Other people have other OCDs… There’s the placement issue, in which everything needs to be organized… if you’re having dinner and you separate the salt and peppershakers from each other, my friend gets annoyed and has to bring them back together… I’d move the shakers away from each other, and you can see her notice them… she then waits a bit, tries to not let it bother her and then while you’re not looking, finally loses it and moves them back together… I like to run these little experiments on my friends, it makes waiting for your lunch so much more enjoyable…
I have another friend who needs to have the remote controls to his TV, Stereo, DVD, and whatever else all lined up side by side all facing the TV at all times, and they have to be in descending order in terms of size of the remote control… if he notices the remotes apart from each other, he will move them around… Imagine playing winning 11, bitch slapping Classic Argentina with your Classic Holland team, and the guy has to pause the game in the middle of an attack to line up the remote controls on his coffee table… DOH-NUT!
Another thing I do is hang-ups over washing my hands. I need to keep my hands clean throughout the day… My girl (who has many many mental hiccups - kidding) also has a washing OCD… she actually has a method in which she washes her hands and follows a routine. She only washes her hands that specific way and does not like smelling anything other than soap on her hands… me I just like to make sure they’re clean and I don’t trust anything except soap.. It’s not so much as washing my hands, but I just need to see soap there attempting to kick bacteria’s ass…
Airports are another place where people do this self-doubting thing as well… People will check their backpack 20 times to make sure the ticket; passport and travel documents are all safe and present… I mean you just checked 2 minutes ago, why do you need to check again…
How about people that need to lay on the side of the bed closest to the door to feel safe and have a good nights sleep… me I don’t care, I can sleep anywhere on the bed as long as it’s on the bed.. But there are people that need to sleep closest to the door, y’know in case of a fire or something like that, the flip side to this thought is that what if a mass murderer walked into the room, you’d be the first one he/she sees, now do you feel safe about sleeping closest to the door?
So these are some of the OCDs that I’ve dug up… I know there are more around, and many people have them, it’s totally natural… you should not be ashamed of the fact that you’re a neurotic person with a thing for spraying the entire bathroom with bleach before you take a bath. Expose your quirks to the world, let us laugh and ridicule at your expense, give me something to read…
Sunday, March 06, 2005
iamwhoiam...ohhwhoami?
My first memory of peer pressure racism started when I was probably in the 5th grade… Running around in school having fun being a total kid, when all of a sudden a couple of friends stopped me and asked “hey, are you Shia or Sunni?” “umm well I don’t know” “what do you mean you don’t know?” then the another kid goes “I bet you he’s Shia” in my head I start thinking, crap.. What are they talking about? should I pick one? I mean I don’t know what I am. Then one of the kids decides to do his own detective work… “how do you pray? With your hands down to your side or on your stomach?” Shit shit and triple shit… what am I going to do now? I don’t pray, what will happen if I tell them I don’t really pray? should I take a guess? (On a side note: before you label me, I was taught how to pray and my mother is a devout Muslim, it’s just that it’s MY RELATIONSHIP with God, not anyone else’s.. you dig?) Rrrrrrrriiingg… aaahh saved by the bell… It’s amazing, but that was one of the first brushes I had trying to figure out who I am, Shia or Sunni… I went home after school still puzzled, so I decided to ask my parents… My mom gave me the typical answer, “if anyone asks you, you tell them you’re Muslim… There’s no difference..” and that was that, the answer sufficed me, there’s no difference…
I went back to school and waited for the next religious question encounter. When that came, my reply was “I am Muslim and there’s no difference” “pffffft, yeah right there’s no difference, I bet you he’s Shia, come on lets go play football…” and they ran off as if I had just been diagnosed with a rare contagious disease transmitted through the mucus of an infected monkey that made it’s way to Bahrain… I thought, fine, let me go ask my friends… Some of them didn’t know either, while others admitted they were Shia or Sunni (they were just happy to know what they were) but we all had the same feelings, what is this divide that even us kids have to start thinking about? Deep down inside we all felt that people have to be pretty fickle to want to make a divide…
It didn’t take long before I found out who the Shia and the Sunnis were, and who I was… I’ll spare you the details of their history, but I will tell you one thing… It’s all because of a couple of instances involving a continued power struggle that this divide happened and that’s it in a nutshell… People have spent their lives researching and gathering information, but to me, Muslim is Muslim, and even more importantly than that, a human being is a human being, just like you, me and everyone else on this rock called Earth.
I’m not going to tell you racism doesn’t exist in Bahrain, there’s racism on every single front: Shia & Sunni, and then they even go deeper into it in terms of the different ethnicities between the two sides… With the Shia: the Bahranis (original inhabitants of Bahrain), the Ajam (of Persian descent), the Subcontinent Shia, the Hassawiyah (Shia from Saudi.. ooops sorry Saudi doesn’t have any Shia), etc. Then you have the Sunnis: The Arab Sunnis, Holees (Sunnis of Persian descent), Subcontinent Sunnis, and from all over the world. We’ve got so many different people from all sorts of walks of life, and we do have racism (it happens all over the world), although we are working at limiting it… Feel free to interject an ethnicity that I’ve forgotten to add…
It’s such a taboo subject to be discussing… There’s unnecessary hatred that has led to some crazy things being said… I had a fellow student in college once tell me that there are Shia families that get together, turn off all the lights in the room and would have a full on scale orgy… I don’t know what drove me to trying to choke him, the fact that he was insulting “my sect” or the fact that he was stupid enough to believe something as absurd as incestuous orgies… Dada, you’re still an idiot for saying that, but I forgive you… I’m writing it off as just some insane brainwashing you were spoon fed from some uneducated fuck of a cleric that was probably molested or wishes he was molested by a member of his family.
This divide,, this racism exists because of one thing and only one thing, and that’s uneducated people who still think there’s a reason to make a difference… It’s people like this that think they’re better than the other person, and it’s people like this that will slow our progress… You shouldn’t sit there and pass any judgment on anyone but yourself…
I went back to school and waited for the next religious question encounter. When that came, my reply was “I am Muslim and there’s no difference” “pffffft, yeah right there’s no difference, I bet you he’s Shia, come on lets go play football…” and they ran off as if I had just been diagnosed with a rare contagious disease transmitted through the mucus of an infected monkey that made it’s way to Bahrain… I thought, fine, let me go ask my friends… Some of them didn’t know either, while others admitted they were Shia or Sunni (they were just happy to know what they were) but we all had the same feelings, what is this divide that even us kids have to start thinking about? Deep down inside we all felt that people have to be pretty fickle to want to make a divide…
It didn’t take long before I found out who the Shia and the Sunnis were, and who I was… I’ll spare you the details of their history, but I will tell you one thing… It’s all because of a couple of instances involving a continued power struggle that this divide happened and that’s it in a nutshell… People have spent their lives researching and gathering information, but to me, Muslim is Muslim, and even more importantly than that, a human being is a human being, just like you, me and everyone else on this rock called Earth.
I’m not going to tell you racism doesn’t exist in Bahrain, there’s racism on every single front: Shia & Sunni, and then they even go deeper into it in terms of the different ethnicities between the two sides… With the Shia: the Bahranis (original inhabitants of Bahrain), the Ajam (of Persian descent), the Subcontinent Shia, the Hassawiyah (Shia from Saudi.. ooops sorry Saudi doesn’t have any Shia), etc. Then you have the Sunnis: The Arab Sunnis, Holees (Sunnis of Persian descent), Subcontinent Sunnis, and from all over the world. We’ve got so many different people from all sorts of walks of life, and we do have racism (it happens all over the world), although we are working at limiting it… Feel free to interject an ethnicity that I’ve forgotten to add…
It’s such a taboo subject to be discussing… There’s unnecessary hatred that has led to some crazy things being said… I had a fellow student in college once tell me that there are Shia families that get together, turn off all the lights in the room and would have a full on scale orgy… I don’t know what drove me to trying to choke him, the fact that he was insulting “my sect” or the fact that he was stupid enough to believe something as absurd as incestuous orgies… Dada, you’re still an idiot for saying that, but I forgive you… I’m writing it off as just some insane brainwashing you were spoon fed from some uneducated fuck of a cleric that was probably molested or wishes he was molested by a member of his family.
This divide,, this racism exists because of one thing and only one thing, and that’s uneducated people who still think there’s a reason to make a difference… It’s people like this that think they’re better than the other person, and it’s people like this that will slow our progress… You shouldn’t sit there and pass any judgment on anyone but yourself…
Monday, February 14, 2005
king of my castle...
I’ve always found architecture in Bahrain to be such a fascinating thing… well not really fascinating, more along the lines of “What were you thinking buddy?” I mean ok to each his own, you want to build a house, then go for it, do what you want as long as you’re happy... But if it looks stupid, then I’m within my right to laugh at your castle…
Columns are the true craze in Bahrain, if you don’t have at least two columns outside your house, then you might as well shoot your Architect… … it’s like that Mel Brooks History of the World line “Columns columns columns turn any hovel to a showplace”. That line really works here… for those of you that live in Bahrain, next time you’re out on a drive, go take a look at all the columns at the entrance to people’s houses… It’s like people go to visit architects, they like what they see, then they offer their own opinion (fair enough it’s their house)… “well we like what you’ve done with the rotunda and the glass menagerie looks great… but the entrance to the house is still missing something… me the ‘Madame’ feel like it could use a couple more columns… “ It’s like keeping up with the Joneses but Bahraini style… When I build my dream house someday, there’s gonna be 18 greco-roman marble columns gracing the entrance to my house announcing my arrival to the neighborhood…
Another house touch up is the latest fake rock wall that people are going for these days.. The problem is that not only is it not real rock, but these people have refused to try and get a more “real rock color, “ no they go for the in your face, shit brown rock in hope of the grand canyonish rock wall feel… delightful…
People have gotten so much more creative with their painting.. they now go for the camouflage effect. I have a neighbor who decided that when his dream house was built, he wanted to go for shocking more than anything… So this bozo spends his money on getting his house painted to look like (wait for it – imagine.. just imagine) a Saharan camouflage Giraffe print??? I know… just try to digest what I’ve just described and think about it for a second… Fucking insane if you ask me..
Another one of my neighbors (yes the weird houses all moved into my block – we’re thinking of moving) got a little stumped on what he could do with the extra space outside his house right on the road. A light bulb goes on and then it explodes in his head leaving him with an idea… The dude, decides he wants a fake “well” built outside his house on the main road, y’know to give off this Oasis / Wild West feel to his abode… So he went and blew some of his cash on having this fake rock well built and then to just add that finishing touch, he attached a bucket to a rope and hung it off the well, y’know for effect… I wonder if he blames himself for being a dumb ass that someone stole the bucket off the well… I mean what are you thinking? Hey let me tie up the horses and fetch them a pail of water, they sure look thirsty…
Architecture here used to be so intelligent, people would utilize their materials to work with the type of climate here… No air conditioning? No problem, we’ll build these wind towers on our roofs and they’ll help channel the cool air down to the house… Humidity and heat? Not a problem, we’ll build the foundation of the house using coral stones and they’ll suck up the humidity in the walls and keep the floor cool… Everyone here is so obsessed with building houses out of concrete and cement and it just leaves me wondering why? Generations and generations of builders had it right.. can’t we come up with some sort of agreement? Use some of the architecture of our past and some from today to make some great looking houses?
Real architects on this island are a dying breed, being replaced by cut and paste experts willing to do anything for a buck… If the client’s design wont work, you should inform them… let them know what their options are… I’ve seen a couple of Architectural Marvels in my short lifetime and they usually leave me awestruck. I get that same feeling when I see old Bahraini Architecture and its beautiful simplicity. Why would anyone want to throw it all away? An architect once told me, when you design, everything needs to have a purpose, “form follows function”… we need to bring that kind of thinking back to this region. You shouldn’t design something for someone if it’s not right… Money is money and you want to flaunt it, by all means, but spend the money wisely… why give yourself a stupid paint job when in a year or two you’re going to have to touch it up again… As Mies Van der Rohe said, “less is more.”
Today, practices in Bahrain have databases of so called architectural styles from which they do a cut and paste job and hey presto here’s your house… But what are these choices based on? They are based on an incorrect preconceived ideas of what ‘western’ (especially American) architecture is ie: “80s Dynasty style” once admired as the pinnacle of architecture and borrowed to convey importance and used as a symbol of status… This is a big no no, they have their architecture and it works for them, we need to take what we have and rethink it… Take everything back to the blackboard and use our past to help bring back an identity to our future…
In closing, you really should do whatever you please with your house, it’s your house, you should make it as comfortable as possible… but the outside of your house does reflect on the neighborhood… so do us all a favor and before you go out and have your house painted magenta and lime green, stop for a second and think about it… what does it say about you?
Columns are the true craze in Bahrain, if you don’t have at least two columns outside your house, then you might as well shoot your Architect… … it’s like that Mel Brooks History of the World line “Columns columns columns turn any hovel to a showplace”. That line really works here… for those of you that live in Bahrain, next time you’re out on a drive, go take a look at all the columns at the entrance to people’s houses… It’s like people go to visit architects, they like what they see, then they offer their own opinion (fair enough it’s their house)… “well we like what you’ve done with the rotunda and the glass menagerie looks great… but the entrance to the house is still missing something… me the ‘Madame’ feel like it could use a couple more columns… “ It’s like keeping up with the Joneses but Bahraini style… When I build my dream house someday, there’s gonna be 18 greco-roman marble columns gracing the entrance to my house announcing my arrival to the neighborhood…
Another house touch up is the latest fake rock wall that people are going for these days.. The problem is that not only is it not real rock, but these people have refused to try and get a more “real rock color, “ no they go for the in your face, shit brown rock in hope of the grand canyonish rock wall feel… delightful…
People have gotten so much more creative with their painting.. they now go for the camouflage effect. I have a neighbor who decided that when his dream house was built, he wanted to go for shocking more than anything… So this bozo spends his money on getting his house painted to look like (wait for it – imagine.. just imagine) a Saharan camouflage Giraffe print??? I know… just try to digest what I’ve just described and think about it for a second… Fucking insane if you ask me..
Another one of my neighbors (yes the weird houses all moved into my block – we’re thinking of moving) got a little stumped on what he could do with the extra space outside his house right on the road. A light bulb goes on and then it explodes in his head leaving him with an idea… The dude, decides he wants a fake “well” built outside his house on the main road, y’know to give off this Oasis / Wild West feel to his abode… So he went and blew some of his cash on having this fake rock well built and then to just add that finishing touch, he attached a bucket to a rope and hung it off the well, y’know for effect… I wonder if he blames himself for being a dumb ass that someone stole the bucket off the well… I mean what are you thinking? Hey let me tie up the horses and fetch them a pail of water, they sure look thirsty…
Architecture here used to be so intelligent, people would utilize their materials to work with the type of climate here… No air conditioning? No problem, we’ll build these wind towers on our roofs and they’ll help channel the cool air down to the house… Humidity and heat? Not a problem, we’ll build the foundation of the house using coral stones and they’ll suck up the humidity in the walls and keep the floor cool… Everyone here is so obsessed with building houses out of concrete and cement and it just leaves me wondering why? Generations and generations of builders had it right.. can’t we come up with some sort of agreement? Use some of the architecture of our past and some from today to make some great looking houses?
Real architects on this island are a dying breed, being replaced by cut and paste experts willing to do anything for a buck… If the client’s design wont work, you should inform them… let them know what their options are… I’ve seen a couple of Architectural Marvels in my short lifetime and they usually leave me awestruck. I get that same feeling when I see old Bahraini Architecture and its beautiful simplicity. Why would anyone want to throw it all away? An architect once told me, when you design, everything needs to have a purpose, “form follows function”… we need to bring that kind of thinking back to this region. You shouldn’t design something for someone if it’s not right… Money is money and you want to flaunt it, by all means, but spend the money wisely… why give yourself a stupid paint job when in a year or two you’re going to have to touch it up again… As Mies Van der Rohe said, “less is more.”
Today, practices in Bahrain have databases of so called architectural styles from which they do a cut and paste job and hey presto here’s your house… But what are these choices based on? They are based on an incorrect preconceived ideas of what ‘western’ (especially American) architecture is ie: “80s Dynasty style” once admired as the pinnacle of architecture and borrowed to convey importance and used as a symbol of status… This is a big no no, they have their architecture and it works for them, we need to take what we have and rethink it… Take everything back to the blackboard and use our past to help bring back an identity to our future…
In closing, you really should do whatever you please with your house, it’s your house, you should make it as comfortable as possible… but the outside of your house does reflect on the neighborhood… so do us all a favor and before you go out and have your house painted magenta and lime green, stop for a second and think about it… what does it say about you?
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
stressing out on the drive to work...
You knew this was going to happen… I may have touched on a couple of sensitive points when I ranted about driving in Bahrain… The truth is, there’s so many more things to complain about regarding driving in Bahrain…
First let me bring your attention to the worst parents on the face of this planet… Let me explain the heart attack I almost had and then you can pass judgment (but bear in mind if you have an opinion other than mine, then you need to piss off and die)… Driving down Government Avenue heading towards the diplomatic area, I get towards a rotary and the coast looked clear… All of a sudden a car comes flying out of nowhere with a family stuffed to the brim (mind you none of them are wearing seatbelts): dad driving, kids in the back, and mom’s in the front seat playing a game by throwing her infant in the air and catching him the whole time the GODDAMN WINDOW’S OPEN!!! I mean all it took was a slip of the hand and there goes the kid out the window onto the road and there’s his head crushed by the big truck… It took me a couple of seconds to recover from the shock of having to slam on my brakes and the sight of a mother playing catch with her baby in the front seat of a car with the window open… I had to drive over and do my nonsensical yelling at them about safety, and they just shrugged me off as another escapee from the psychiatric hospital…
Parents not properly securing their children in their cars is a huge issue here in Bahrain… I’m hating the fact that I’m becoming so desensitized to it (you have to, there’s no other choice because no one will listen to you), that I just shrug it off and hope they don’t get killed in an accident… you see them, all over the roads, kids standing in the front passenger seat, no seatbelts, kids jumping around the car, parents driving with their kids in their laps… It’s just ridiculous… I mean do you not care about the safety of your child? Driving in Bahrain is horrible with traffic, speeding, and accidents, why are you taking that additional risk with your child’s safety? Maybe I’m just too much of a paranoid person, but I don’t think your child’s safety is something you should be playing around with… Some parents will claim that the kid won’t sit still and always moves around, well that’s probably because you never taught them that the car was a vehicle not a play pen, and maybe you should wean them off the sugar water and candy while you’re at it…
This has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen in Bahrain: you have these asshole parents with their stupid “Baby on Board” signs to warn other drivers. But once you drive up close, you’ll find the baby on board bouncing all over the place… What’s the point of that? Why would even have a sign for a baby on board and not give a damn about securing them in a safe place? Typical… I feel like I need to sit there and cheer on parents that have properly secured their children in the car because they’re few and far between…
My god, some people and the way they drive here… whenever you get behind the wheel here, you just have to immediately assume that everyone’s a bad driver, including yourself.
Ok the espresso’s kickin’ in, I’m feeling a lot better, it’s just one of those days where you encounter all this stupidity on the road that you need to smoke a cigarette and drink some strong coffee to get over the jitters of careless parents…
I'd love to know how do you feel about all this...
First let me bring your attention to the worst parents on the face of this planet… Let me explain the heart attack I almost had and then you can pass judgment (but bear in mind if you have an opinion other than mine, then you need to piss off and die)… Driving down Government Avenue heading towards the diplomatic area, I get towards a rotary and the coast looked clear… All of a sudden a car comes flying out of nowhere with a family stuffed to the brim (mind you none of them are wearing seatbelts): dad driving, kids in the back, and mom’s in the front seat playing a game by throwing her infant in the air and catching him the whole time the GODDAMN WINDOW’S OPEN!!! I mean all it took was a slip of the hand and there goes the kid out the window onto the road and there’s his head crushed by the big truck… It took me a couple of seconds to recover from the shock of having to slam on my brakes and the sight of a mother playing catch with her baby in the front seat of a car with the window open… I had to drive over and do my nonsensical yelling at them about safety, and they just shrugged me off as another escapee from the psychiatric hospital…
Parents not properly securing their children in their cars is a huge issue here in Bahrain… I’m hating the fact that I’m becoming so desensitized to it (you have to, there’s no other choice because no one will listen to you), that I just shrug it off and hope they don’t get killed in an accident… you see them, all over the roads, kids standing in the front passenger seat, no seatbelts, kids jumping around the car, parents driving with their kids in their laps… It’s just ridiculous… I mean do you not care about the safety of your child? Driving in Bahrain is horrible with traffic, speeding, and accidents, why are you taking that additional risk with your child’s safety? Maybe I’m just too much of a paranoid person, but I don’t think your child’s safety is something you should be playing around with… Some parents will claim that the kid won’t sit still and always moves around, well that’s probably because you never taught them that the car was a vehicle not a play pen, and maybe you should wean them off the sugar water and candy while you’re at it…
This has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen in Bahrain: you have these asshole parents with their stupid “Baby on Board” signs to warn other drivers. But once you drive up close, you’ll find the baby on board bouncing all over the place… What’s the point of that? Why would even have a sign for a baby on board and not give a damn about securing them in a safe place? Typical… I feel like I need to sit there and cheer on parents that have properly secured their children in the car because they’re few and far between…
My god, some people and the way they drive here… whenever you get behind the wheel here, you just have to immediately assume that everyone’s a bad driver, including yourself.
Ok the espresso’s kickin’ in, I’m feeling a lot better, it’s just one of those days where you encounter all this stupidity on the road that you need to smoke a cigarette and drink some strong coffee to get over the jitters of careless parents…
I'd love to know how do you feel about all this...
Thursday, December 23, 2004
one track mind
SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX
Do I have your attention now? Can I go off on a rant? Good… we’ve got serious issues here in Bahrain; everyone’s a sex addict… People getting turned on from staring at lingerie shop windows, while others are checking out jailbait at shopping malls, gold diggers ready to exchange a little nookie for a Gucci bag, we even have cases where a guy catches a girl having sex with someone and then blackmails her to have sex with him or risk her reputation being tarnished… everyone… male or female has their ass checked out here… we’re a vile and sick society when it comes to sex… What makes it so is that all of this happens behind closed doors… It’s all a big secret this sex fetish we have… We’re really a nice culture and great society, honest… So why does this all happen? Is it too much or too little religion? Is it the fact that we segregate our schools or is it because we don’t segregate our schools enough? Is it because we’ve adopted too many western ideas and that are clashing with our traditional views? Is it the fact that we’re in denial that we have a problem? I think it’s a little bit of everything and it’s a matter that needs to be brought out to the open…
Girls here want to get married to get out from under the rules of their parents, so they can finally start living. Parents are so quick to get rid of their daughters, that they’ll marry them off to anyone with a little bit of money and fake persona… Guys are so horny that they’ve resorted to lying to girls about marriage to get into their pants, and girls are so horny that they believe them… People get molested every day: at the office, at home, at places of worship, everywhere… are you disgusted? There’s a lot more… Homosexuality is rampant and that’s fine (can’t get upset over someone’s sexual preference), but people here actually distinguish the “homo” as the person who ‘receives’ not the person who ‘administers’… that’s what makes someone gay or not? You gotta be fucking kidding me… and these pretty boys go for shocking more than just being… I mean is it because you were so repressed that you need to resort to expressing your sexuality in such a blatant manner? Has society done this? Telling you it’s a sickness? Homosexuality has existed for centuries, come to terms with it don’t push it underground…
Oh, do everything but preserve your virginity dear… no one likes damaged goods… you fucking hypocrites, I can go stick my dick in anything with a heartbeat, but she can’t find out what sex feels like? (but she does, it’s just that she’ll do everything ‘butt’ let you break her hymen). The manoovers (thanks BMD) you have to go through to meet someone… Everyone here lies, everyone here is not honest with themselves or with anyone else… Our society dictates how we’re supposed to think, yet we all think like animals, so what does that say about our society? Married men cheating on their wives, while their wives sit there quietly taking it all, repressing all that pain. Wives substituting money for love, leaving their husbands with the task of satisfying themselves… Or are we that much worse than anywhere else..
Girls getting harassed walking down a street; expatriates getting harassed on the street, anyone getting harassed… When did we all become such perverts? Or have we always been perverts? There’s so much more, I can go on and on for days… Prostitution is prevalent; the oldest profession in world still barely makes the newspapers, and everyone’s feigning ignorance… What a great excuse ignorance is… when are we all going to wake up and realize how this is affecting us? Life can be so much more than flaunting what you’ve got on your cell phone… The onus is always on the woman to cover herself up, to not entice my sex enraged hormones… And why is this the case? That it’s always my sex enraged hormones? People here consider me a sexual deviant, and that the woman needs to cover up, needs to be careful walking down the street, needs to hide her beauty, because apparently, I can’t just admire it, I need to fantasize to it… Is this what people want me to be? A predator? Or am I supposed to live in such fear for my loved ones that I need to constantly remain on guard the whole time? What are we all about?
I gotta say there’s a lot of good to us, it’s there you can see it for yourself on a daily basis, we just need to get out of this thing we’ve fallen into… find the funk and unleash it people…
Do I have your attention now? Can I go off on a rant? Good… we’ve got serious issues here in Bahrain; everyone’s a sex addict… People getting turned on from staring at lingerie shop windows, while others are checking out jailbait at shopping malls, gold diggers ready to exchange a little nookie for a Gucci bag, we even have cases where a guy catches a girl having sex with someone and then blackmails her to have sex with him or risk her reputation being tarnished… everyone… male or female has their ass checked out here… we’re a vile and sick society when it comes to sex… What makes it so is that all of this happens behind closed doors… It’s all a big secret this sex fetish we have… We’re really a nice culture and great society, honest… So why does this all happen? Is it too much or too little religion? Is it the fact that we segregate our schools or is it because we don’t segregate our schools enough? Is it because we’ve adopted too many western ideas and that are clashing with our traditional views? Is it the fact that we’re in denial that we have a problem? I think it’s a little bit of everything and it’s a matter that needs to be brought out to the open…
Girls here want to get married to get out from under the rules of their parents, so they can finally start living. Parents are so quick to get rid of their daughters, that they’ll marry them off to anyone with a little bit of money and fake persona… Guys are so horny that they’ve resorted to lying to girls about marriage to get into their pants, and girls are so horny that they believe them… People get molested every day: at the office, at home, at places of worship, everywhere… are you disgusted? There’s a lot more… Homosexuality is rampant and that’s fine (can’t get upset over someone’s sexual preference), but people here actually distinguish the “homo” as the person who ‘receives’ not the person who ‘administers’… that’s what makes someone gay or not? You gotta be fucking kidding me… and these pretty boys go for shocking more than just being… I mean is it because you were so repressed that you need to resort to expressing your sexuality in such a blatant manner? Has society done this? Telling you it’s a sickness? Homosexuality has existed for centuries, come to terms with it don’t push it underground…
Oh, do everything but preserve your virginity dear… no one likes damaged goods… you fucking hypocrites, I can go stick my dick in anything with a heartbeat, but she can’t find out what sex feels like? (but she does, it’s just that she’ll do everything ‘butt’ let you break her hymen). The manoovers (thanks BMD) you have to go through to meet someone… Everyone here lies, everyone here is not honest with themselves or with anyone else… Our society dictates how we’re supposed to think, yet we all think like animals, so what does that say about our society? Married men cheating on their wives, while their wives sit there quietly taking it all, repressing all that pain. Wives substituting money for love, leaving their husbands with the task of satisfying themselves… Or are we that much worse than anywhere else..
Girls getting harassed walking down a street; expatriates getting harassed on the street, anyone getting harassed… When did we all become such perverts? Or have we always been perverts? There’s so much more, I can go on and on for days… Prostitution is prevalent; the oldest profession in world still barely makes the newspapers, and everyone’s feigning ignorance… What a great excuse ignorance is… when are we all going to wake up and realize how this is affecting us? Life can be so much more than flaunting what you’ve got on your cell phone… The onus is always on the woman to cover herself up, to not entice my sex enraged hormones… And why is this the case? That it’s always my sex enraged hormones? People here consider me a sexual deviant, and that the woman needs to cover up, needs to be careful walking down the street, needs to hide her beauty, because apparently, I can’t just admire it, I need to fantasize to it… Is this what people want me to be? A predator? Or am I supposed to live in such fear for my loved ones that I need to constantly remain on guard the whole time? What are we all about?
I gotta say there’s a lot of good to us, it’s there you can see it for yourself on a daily basis, we just need to get out of this thing we’ve fallen into… find the funk and unleash it people…
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
the art of the bahraini pull
This is something that I’ve always found totally intriguing… In the Middle East, meeting a member of the opposite sex and starting a relationship requires quick thinking, a lot of talk time, and secret agent skills that match James Bond…
Let’s say you’re strolling along in a undisclosed shopping mall, you decide you need that double espresso and you need it right now.. At the corporate world domination coffee shop, you spot this delicious bellabambina in front of you in the line… your eyes meet and she smiles… OK NOW STOP… if you were anywhere else in the world, then you might decide to start up a conversation on how you love Kenyan double dark roasts because they really release the true flavor of the beans or some bullshit like that.. but you’re in the middle east and that line isn’t going to cut it.. Instead, you must turn on your cell phone, activate the blue tooth transmission on your phone and hope that you can find her and send her a text message… she will also have her blue tooth turned on the prowl for interesting names… once you get her name you can start texting which will eventually lead to calling and then hopefully on to bigger and better things… The only problem is that everyone and their mother has their blue tooth on, scooping the cellular chick frequencies, so panache and guile is a must.
Before the advent of cell phones and blue tooth, people used to write their number on a little piece of paper and give it to the girl or the guy… Some poor sods actually went out of their way and had their numbers printed on special paper with a little catchphrase like: I want to whisper soft poetry into your ear… I’ve actually seen the number paper transfer executed with such class and precision that you’d think they’re trading government secrets… It’s just unbelievable… I’ve never even bothered to try because I don’t know what to do… Do you hand over the number? Toss it over (if you do toss it, underhand or overhand)? Oh and if you don’t know, people are number hungry here, the sequence or the simplicity of a number really gets the girl going, because then she thinks “hmm this guy’s got a good number, I bet he drives a nice car”. So to answer your question, if you’re going to pull in this manner, then you’re going for a materialistic WAP (wannabe princess) and long walks on the beach holding hands is out of the question…
I once heard that guys in Saudi pick women based on their shoes… Since the women there are usually covered from head to toe, then you might want to consider the Manolo Blahnik pumps over the size 50 European medical arch supporting flats.. can you believe that? Shoes, what a phenomenon, that’s how you weed the women out there… If anyone actually reads this, can you verify? I’m interested to know… what do you do if you pick the girl out, then plan to meet with her again and you tell her to wear the same shoes; but then get screwed because she was wearing a popular sneaker that everyone’s wearing these days?
Once you’ve found your blue tooth honey, you guys have to start talking on the phone… Now this is the part that can be quite tiresome… You guys exchange phone calls, spend hour after hour of precious network talk time, doing absolutely nothing… I’ve sat in on and observed one of these talks and had to leave 20 minutes cause it was going nowhere… allow me to demonstrate: phone rings… (hello?) 5 minutes of silence (shlonek- how are you) another 5 minutes of silence (I’m good, I’m thinking about you) yet another 5 minutes of silence (really? I’m thinking about you too) you guessed it, another 5 minutes of silence, and that’s when I walked out of the room. Hopefully the phone calls will end up somewhere and you might actually get a chance to have a private moment with your newfound love…
Another way you can pull is by having a cell phone… Desperate people in Bahrain, spend lots of time with their phones randomly calling people, or they might actually find some stranger’s number and then out of the blue give them a call.. Those phone conversations can be very interesting to sit in on cause both people are playing both offense and defense (when you’re trying to start a relationship with a stranger over the phone, you have to be)… Don’t want to get into the details, but if you’re a pro then you’ll bag whomever your talking to; otherwise you’ll just get chewed up and spit out…
I think what I’m trying to get at, is that this is how business is conducted in terms of relationships… I’m oblivious to this and really don’t even know where to start, nor do I have a desire to even try… People here are so hung up on the bling, that they’ll forgo on the relationship building and the getting to know you bit (if you haven’t kept up on urban phraseology of the past 4 years, bling is defined as the shine that hits your eye when someone is wearing diamonds, so when you say “check out my bling” that means check out the really expensive stuff I’ve got). Talking to a member of the opposite sex, shouldn’t be such a secret or require such crazy methods.. Meeting someone should be fun, not complicated, what if you don’t have blue tooth? Or you don’t have the bling? You shouldn’t be shit out of luck.. People need to drop these false pretenses and just go with the flow. The problem is that many people like to go with the flow, but they’ve been burned so many times, that they’ve got these 15-foot high walls with barbed wire and guard dogs. Guys, we need to stop being assholes, a little respect and courtesy will go a long way, & stop spreading the false rumors. Ladies, give the lads a chance, we’re not all assholes… oh and everybody… can we tone down the materialistic bullshit just a bit? It’s ok to be a fashionista, but don’t hold it against someone if they’re not…
Note to my bellabambina: Baby, I would never even attempt to do something as stupid and silly as this, I know better. You’d catch me, then fricassee my privates and serve them with a little bit of fresh parsley as a garnish. I’m the luckiest guy on the planet and I love you..
Let’s say you’re strolling along in a undisclosed shopping mall, you decide you need that double espresso and you need it right now.. At the corporate world domination coffee shop, you spot this delicious bellabambina in front of you in the line… your eyes meet and she smiles… OK NOW STOP… if you were anywhere else in the world, then you might decide to start up a conversation on how you love Kenyan double dark roasts because they really release the true flavor of the beans or some bullshit like that.. but you’re in the middle east and that line isn’t going to cut it.. Instead, you must turn on your cell phone, activate the blue tooth transmission on your phone and hope that you can find her and send her a text message… she will also have her blue tooth turned on the prowl for interesting names… once you get her name you can start texting which will eventually lead to calling and then hopefully on to bigger and better things… The only problem is that everyone and their mother has their blue tooth on, scooping the cellular chick frequencies, so panache and guile is a must.
Before the advent of cell phones and blue tooth, people used to write their number on a little piece of paper and give it to the girl or the guy… Some poor sods actually went out of their way and had their numbers printed on special paper with a little catchphrase like: I want to whisper soft poetry into your ear… I’ve actually seen the number paper transfer executed with such class and precision that you’d think they’re trading government secrets… It’s just unbelievable… I’ve never even bothered to try because I don’t know what to do… Do you hand over the number? Toss it over (if you do toss it, underhand or overhand)? Oh and if you don’t know, people are number hungry here, the sequence or the simplicity of a number really gets the girl going, because then she thinks “hmm this guy’s got a good number, I bet he drives a nice car”. So to answer your question, if you’re going to pull in this manner, then you’re going for a materialistic WAP (wannabe princess) and long walks on the beach holding hands is out of the question…
I once heard that guys in Saudi pick women based on their shoes… Since the women there are usually covered from head to toe, then you might want to consider the Manolo Blahnik pumps over the size 50 European medical arch supporting flats.. can you believe that? Shoes, what a phenomenon, that’s how you weed the women out there… If anyone actually reads this, can you verify? I’m interested to know… what do you do if you pick the girl out, then plan to meet with her again and you tell her to wear the same shoes; but then get screwed because she was wearing a popular sneaker that everyone’s wearing these days?
Once you’ve found your blue tooth honey, you guys have to start talking on the phone… Now this is the part that can be quite tiresome… You guys exchange phone calls, spend hour after hour of precious network talk time, doing absolutely nothing… I’ve sat in on and observed one of these talks and had to leave 20 minutes cause it was going nowhere… allow me to demonstrate: phone rings… (hello?) 5 minutes of silence (shlonek- how are you) another 5 minutes of silence (I’m good, I’m thinking about you) yet another 5 minutes of silence (really? I’m thinking about you too) you guessed it, another 5 minutes of silence, and that’s when I walked out of the room. Hopefully the phone calls will end up somewhere and you might actually get a chance to have a private moment with your newfound love…
Another way you can pull is by having a cell phone… Desperate people in Bahrain, spend lots of time with their phones randomly calling people, or they might actually find some stranger’s number and then out of the blue give them a call.. Those phone conversations can be very interesting to sit in on cause both people are playing both offense and defense (when you’re trying to start a relationship with a stranger over the phone, you have to be)… Don’t want to get into the details, but if you’re a pro then you’ll bag whomever your talking to; otherwise you’ll just get chewed up and spit out…
I think what I’m trying to get at, is that this is how business is conducted in terms of relationships… I’m oblivious to this and really don’t even know where to start, nor do I have a desire to even try… People here are so hung up on the bling, that they’ll forgo on the relationship building and the getting to know you bit (if you haven’t kept up on urban phraseology of the past 4 years, bling is defined as the shine that hits your eye when someone is wearing diamonds, so when you say “check out my bling” that means check out the really expensive stuff I’ve got). Talking to a member of the opposite sex, shouldn’t be such a secret or require such crazy methods.. Meeting someone should be fun, not complicated, what if you don’t have blue tooth? Or you don’t have the bling? You shouldn’t be shit out of luck.. People need to drop these false pretenses and just go with the flow. The problem is that many people like to go with the flow, but they’ve been burned so many times, that they’ve got these 15-foot high walls with barbed wire and guard dogs. Guys, we need to stop being assholes, a little respect and courtesy will go a long way, & stop spreading the false rumors. Ladies, give the lads a chance, we’re not all assholes… oh and everybody… can we tone down the materialistic bullshit just a bit? It’s ok to be a fashionista, but don’t hold it against someone if they’re not…
Note to my bellabambina: Baby, I would never even attempt to do something as stupid and silly as this, I know better. You’d catch me, then fricassee my privates and serve them with a little bit of fresh parsley as a garnish. I’m the luckiest guy on the planet and I love you..
Thursday, December 02, 2004
a heated post about the environment
One of our biggest problems with Bahraini’s is that people have no respect for their environment and that REALLY gets under my skin… People don’t give a shit about where they throw their trash, constantly under the impression that there’s some poor fellow there to pick up after them. The thing is there is someone there to pick up after them, he’s the poor garbage man that I see every morning on my ride to work having to pick up juice boxes and wrappers off the side of the road…
I’ve said this before, Bahrain’s a tiny place, if you’re gonna litter, it’s going to build up until it becomes disgusting… and since Bahraini’s don’t give a shit, they’re inviting others living here to not give a shit either… I get so pissed off when I’m driving and I see a Bahraini driver, rolling down his or her window and dumping out trash… I mean, why? You’re in a car, you’re obviously going someplace, can’t you crumble that empty pack of cigarettes or that tissue paper and hold on till you get to wherever you’re going so that you don’t have to make my country a little less beautiful? Can someone explain to me why people litter? What is the deal? I see trash cans everywhere but people are too lazy to do anything with them… I dare anyone who reads this to go and drive around Bahrain looking for a spot or patch of “refuse free” land… if you do find that actual spot, then think back of all the other spots that are just covered in trash and allow yourself to vomit (in a toilet that is, we don’t want more crap on the floor)…
I’m not asking you to quit your job, join green peace, get on the rainbow warrior and save the sardines… I’m asking you to realize what you do in your life where you’re fucking litterbug and if you stopped, and if you made everyone around you to stop then maybe you can make a difference… Every little piece of trash put in a bin counts by the way… I’m planning on having kids someday and I want to do everything I can to preserve some sort of clean environment for them to grow up in… If you’re from here, then try to remember how pretty and green it was here 15 years ago, do you really want to lose that forever? Do you want to take your kids over to a public garden to show them more sand? The government is doing its part to keep the country clean, but it shouldn’t be just up to them, we should all do our part. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, just keep after yourself; and if more people start becoming responsible citizens and keep after themselves then we might actually have a chance…
Just to paint a really sad picture for you, at the cemetery in Manama, there’s trash on people’s graves… During a funeral, there’s usually bottled water being passed around for anyone feeling a little dehydrated. Do you know how these assholes repay their gratitude for getting a free drink of water? They throw the empty bottles on ground, while I end up picking up after them and tossing them in the garbage bin less than 5 footsteps away… You fucking assholes, I don’t give a shit how religious you are or who the hell listens to you. You just lost all credibility in my book when you tossed garbage on someone’s grave, and if by chance anything is thrown on any grave of any relative of mine, I will not hesitate in pummeling your face into the ground. If you just read this and feel there’s nothing wrong with people littering in Bahrain, then FUCK YOU TOO.
Peace loving, tree hugging, granola eating, disgruntled hippie…
I’ve said this before, Bahrain’s a tiny place, if you’re gonna litter, it’s going to build up until it becomes disgusting… and since Bahraini’s don’t give a shit, they’re inviting others living here to not give a shit either… I get so pissed off when I’m driving and I see a Bahraini driver, rolling down his or her window and dumping out trash… I mean, why? You’re in a car, you’re obviously going someplace, can’t you crumble that empty pack of cigarettes or that tissue paper and hold on till you get to wherever you’re going so that you don’t have to make my country a little less beautiful? Can someone explain to me why people litter? What is the deal? I see trash cans everywhere but people are too lazy to do anything with them… I dare anyone who reads this to go and drive around Bahrain looking for a spot or patch of “refuse free” land… if you do find that actual spot, then think back of all the other spots that are just covered in trash and allow yourself to vomit (in a toilet that is, we don’t want more crap on the floor)…
I’m not asking you to quit your job, join green peace, get on the rainbow warrior and save the sardines… I’m asking you to realize what you do in your life where you’re fucking litterbug and if you stopped, and if you made everyone around you to stop then maybe you can make a difference… Every little piece of trash put in a bin counts by the way… I’m planning on having kids someday and I want to do everything I can to preserve some sort of clean environment for them to grow up in… If you’re from here, then try to remember how pretty and green it was here 15 years ago, do you really want to lose that forever? Do you want to take your kids over to a public garden to show them more sand? The government is doing its part to keep the country clean, but it shouldn’t be just up to them, we should all do our part. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, just keep after yourself; and if more people start becoming responsible citizens and keep after themselves then we might actually have a chance…
Just to paint a really sad picture for you, at the cemetery in Manama, there’s trash on people’s graves… During a funeral, there’s usually bottled water being passed around for anyone feeling a little dehydrated. Do you know how these assholes repay their gratitude for getting a free drink of water? They throw the empty bottles on ground, while I end up picking up after them and tossing them in the garbage bin less than 5 footsteps away… You fucking assholes, I don’t give a shit how religious you are or who the hell listens to you. You just lost all credibility in my book when you tossed garbage on someone’s grave, and if by chance anything is thrown on any grave of any relative of mine, I will not hesitate in pummeling your face into the ground. If you just read this and feel there’s nothing wrong with people littering in Bahrain, then FUCK YOU TOO.
Peace loving, tree hugging, granola eating, disgruntled hippie…
Monday, November 29, 2004
Riding Around in my Automobile..
Growing up in Bahrain, you used to joke and say that you could get to anywhere on the island in less than 15 minutes… Over the years, the country has morphed into a concrete jungle, the numbers of cars on the road have increased considerably, and people’s driving skills have gotten much worse. The 15-minute car ride can now take up to an hour, with your road rage on full blast… There are a lot of issues you need to deal with when driving in Bahrain, and I think I’m entitled to gripe a bit…
Bahrain’s a small place… we’ve got a population of a little over half a mil, however, everyone lives in the top half of the island making it a very densely populated area. With no proper public transportation system yet (well except buses: but that’s just more cars on the road), everyone’s forced to drive. Ok so that’s not a big deal.. but then the weekend comes along, and we have company… our neighbors from the nearby GCC states, drive across their borders for a little R&R (recklessness and rampage) on our soil… now I know tourism is important to our Economy, but apart from the additional traffic we also get to enjoy the driving skills of our “neighbors”. Saudis for example, have very interesting driving methods; Instead of taking the left lane and indicating left to turn left; they would probably, be in the right lane planning to turn left and eventually busting a U turn on you, forcing you to slam your breaks… In Saudi, drivers are aware of this law of “possible turns” and plan accordingly; unfortunately many accidents have occurred because of not taking into consideration the moron driving next to you… Overtaking from any lane is fine as long as you’re going much faster than the other person, as is flashing the guy ahead of you creating that disco strobe effect, because 125km per hour on a 100km road isn’t fast enough for your formula one taste… Bahrain’s smaller than most major world cities, who on earth needs to be clocking ludicrous speeds (not ludicrous speed?!! mel brooks plug)..
I’m convinced that due to the driving skills of our neighbors, that the local driving here has also become appalling… the common consensus is that anything to avoid a little traffic is fair game… You can get stuck in a jam and then have some bozo in his little shitbox or gas guzzler riding in the breakdown lane/ elevated sidewalk only to cut into traffic, 209 cars ahead… It’s assholes like these that slow down traffic and make it ok for everyone to break the law… The traffic police have started to crack down on these offenders, but it’s not enough, these punks need to be humiliated and ridiculed… I always honk my horn in approval and clap when these chumps are pulled over, occasionally giving them the one finger salute… Anyone who’s taken the highway at the Seef Mall towards Manama knows what I’m talking about… this is an offence of the law where the death penalty could come in useful… Fry a couple of these punks and see how people follow the law...
Since I’m on a roll, let me tell you about another issue I have a problem with… Just recently, the law has granted permission for veiled woman to drive… I don’t mean veiled women who’ve covered their heads, I mean women who are also wearing the face covering with two “ninja-like” eye slits… Now listen, I know religious fervor has struck this planet and everyone’s found some sort of spiritual sense of belonging – good for you… But this is a democracy and last time I checked I was allowed to have an opinion… In my personal opinion, I feel that veiled women are unsafe drivers.. I think anyone who covers their face leaving a little slit for their eyes are an added risk to themselves, other drivers and pedestrians… I rely on my peripheral vision to deal with the constant insanity on the roads, how can this lady have a clear line of sight? This is just dangerous, I mean what if the burqa slips, or she’s taking a turn and her line of sight is completely blocked by a piece of black material? oh and get this, if this lady who’s completely covered up gets pulled over, then a male police officer cannot stop her, they have to call in for backup and have a female officer give the offender a ticket… So what’s to stop me from getting up in Bahraini drag, throwing an abaya and a burqa to cover my face, go speeding all over the place and not get pulled over by a male cop? I know this is a little far fetched, but I don’t see why it’s not possible. Or how about this, can you imagine being a covered lady and getting pulled over for speeding? You’re already late for work, and now you have to wait an additional 20-30 minutes till a female officer can make it to where you are and make sure your face matches the covered face on your driver’s license? Sounds like a hassle if you ask me... Like I said, this is just my opinion and I’m allowed to have it… this law has helped a lot of people in Bahrain, but it just doesn’t make sense to me – I’m just voicing my issues with it…
Here’s one of my personal favorites… Bahraini’s like to take walks. They especially like taking walks on poorly lit streets, while wearing the darkest most unreflective (is that even a word?) clothing… The women in my neighborhood like to wear their abayas and walk around at night, on the side of the road, but sometimes they choose to walk directly on the road because they don’t want to get their shoes dirty… now I understand people’s need to remain fit, and I can also empathize with not wanting to get your shoes dirty, but wearing something reflective is just common sense… It’s dark, people like to walk, and people speed here, so wouldn’t you want to at least wear something that will alert other drivers that there is someone walking along the side of the road, oh and by the way please don’t kill me? Just a suggestion… Next time you’re driving at night, take a look around for all the lone walkers, and then think of how much easier your life would be if they were wearing just a little something reflective to make sure they don’t get run over by anyone…
And to the punk that raced me on the way to work, almost killed the driver of the pickup truck to cut me off because I gave him the finger: you’re a bastard…
Bahrain’s a small place… we’ve got a population of a little over half a mil, however, everyone lives in the top half of the island making it a very densely populated area. With no proper public transportation system yet (well except buses: but that’s just more cars on the road), everyone’s forced to drive. Ok so that’s not a big deal.. but then the weekend comes along, and we have company… our neighbors from the nearby GCC states, drive across their borders for a little R&R (recklessness and rampage) on our soil… now I know tourism is important to our Economy, but apart from the additional traffic we also get to enjoy the driving skills of our “neighbors”. Saudis for example, have very interesting driving methods; Instead of taking the left lane and indicating left to turn left; they would probably, be in the right lane planning to turn left and eventually busting a U turn on you, forcing you to slam your breaks… In Saudi, drivers are aware of this law of “possible turns” and plan accordingly; unfortunately many accidents have occurred because of not taking into consideration the moron driving next to you… Overtaking from any lane is fine as long as you’re going much faster than the other person, as is flashing the guy ahead of you creating that disco strobe effect, because 125km per hour on a 100km road isn’t fast enough for your formula one taste… Bahrain’s smaller than most major world cities, who on earth needs to be clocking ludicrous speeds (not ludicrous speed?!! mel brooks plug)..
I’m convinced that due to the driving skills of our neighbors, that the local driving here has also become appalling… the common consensus is that anything to avoid a little traffic is fair game… You can get stuck in a jam and then have some bozo in his little shitbox or gas guzzler riding in the breakdown lane/ elevated sidewalk only to cut into traffic, 209 cars ahead… It’s assholes like these that slow down traffic and make it ok for everyone to break the law… The traffic police have started to crack down on these offenders, but it’s not enough, these punks need to be humiliated and ridiculed… I always honk my horn in approval and clap when these chumps are pulled over, occasionally giving them the one finger salute… Anyone who’s taken the highway at the Seef Mall towards Manama knows what I’m talking about… this is an offence of the law where the death penalty could come in useful… Fry a couple of these punks and see how people follow the law...
Since I’m on a roll, let me tell you about another issue I have a problem with… Just recently, the law has granted permission for veiled woman to drive… I don’t mean veiled women who’ve covered their heads, I mean women who are also wearing the face covering with two “ninja-like” eye slits… Now listen, I know religious fervor has struck this planet and everyone’s found some sort of spiritual sense of belonging – good for you… But this is a democracy and last time I checked I was allowed to have an opinion… In my personal opinion, I feel that veiled women are unsafe drivers.. I think anyone who covers their face leaving a little slit for their eyes are an added risk to themselves, other drivers and pedestrians… I rely on my peripheral vision to deal with the constant insanity on the roads, how can this lady have a clear line of sight? This is just dangerous, I mean what if the burqa slips, or she’s taking a turn and her line of sight is completely blocked by a piece of black material? oh and get this, if this lady who’s completely covered up gets pulled over, then a male police officer cannot stop her, they have to call in for backup and have a female officer give the offender a ticket… So what’s to stop me from getting up in Bahraini drag, throwing an abaya and a burqa to cover my face, go speeding all over the place and not get pulled over by a male cop? I know this is a little far fetched, but I don’t see why it’s not possible. Or how about this, can you imagine being a covered lady and getting pulled over for speeding? You’re already late for work, and now you have to wait an additional 20-30 minutes till a female officer can make it to where you are and make sure your face matches the covered face on your driver’s license? Sounds like a hassle if you ask me... Like I said, this is just my opinion and I’m allowed to have it… this law has helped a lot of people in Bahrain, but it just doesn’t make sense to me – I’m just voicing my issues with it…
Here’s one of my personal favorites… Bahraini’s like to take walks. They especially like taking walks on poorly lit streets, while wearing the darkest most unreflective (is that even a word?) clothing… The women in my neighborhood like to wear their abayas and walk around at night, on the side of the road, but sometimes they choose to walk directly on the road because they don’t want to get their shoes dirty… now I understand people’s need to remain fit, and I can also empathize with not wanting to get your shoes dirty, but wearing something reflective is just common sense… It’s dark, people like to walk, and people speed here, so wouldn’t you want to at least wear something that will alert other drivers that there is someone walking along the side of the road, oh and by the way please don’t kill me? Just a suggestion… Next time you’re driving at night, take a look around for all the lone walkers, and then think of how much easier your life would be if they were wearing just a little something reflective to make sure they don’t get run over by anyone…
And to the punk that raced me on the way to work, almost killed the driver of the pickup truck to cut me off because I gave him the finger: you’re a bastard…
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