food related randomatica

What kind of fast food person are you?
When it comes to “fast food” I believe there are two types of people: pizza people and burger people.. You can like both, in fact many people do, including yours truly. But if they put a slice of pizza and a burger in front of you and you had to choose just one, what would it be? Lets assume taste is not a factor here, either of them will be the delicious meal you crave. See, I’m a big fan of both, but when the line is drawn and I have to pick, it will be burger over the pizza all the time… I’m still not sure what the answers from this question will generate in terms of someone’s personality, but I’m still working on finding the correlation. Which one will you choose anonymous reader that never comments? I’m talking to you Reston, Virginia…


Microwaves at work
An important topic since we all hate the permeating smells that waft through our hallways mid morning.. Fish, reheated in the microwave at work, what’s your take? I am on the side of the fence that feels it’s wrong, very wrong, and it indubitably stinks up the entire floor – there should be a law prohibiting the use of fish and microwaves.. grill, bake, poach, fry, anything else is fine, but microwave? fish? That’s disgusting - reheat in the oven if you must, but don't nuke nemo. Raise of hands, who’s on my side with this? What kind of person has those brilliant ideas to begin with? I just couldn’t possibly finish off the last fillet of salmon, I know, I’ll just reheat this at work tomorrow for my lunch in the microwave, oh i'm not worried something's going to happen to day old fish that's nuked, my stomach can handle it.. I’m of the belief that there should be a law prohibiting the use of fish and microwaves. Lets take a stand on this together.. no nuked fish..

what else stinks up the room or floor reheated in the microwave, hmm Reston, Virginia?


Redbull argument with the supervisor at the canteen.
Hello, are you the supervisor?

Yes sir how can I help you

I’m happy you asked. I have a problem with how much you charge for Redbull here.. You charge 600 fils per can, where everywhere else in Bahrain charges 500 fils. Now I understand that 100 fils extra isn’t that big of price hike, but if you do the math, you’re charging a 20% increase compared to any other store or supermarket. Considering that you charge regular market rates for all your other drinks and food stuffs, I’m wondering why you charge 600 fils per Redbull instead of 500 fils.

Sir we have 8 locations and for the past year we’ve charged 600 fils, no one complains..

Yes that’s all fine and dandy, but I know you get your Redbull at wholesale, and if the rest of the market is happy with the profit they’re making by charging 500 fils, that’s a little greedy and on your part to charge 600 fils. With regards to your 8 locations, have you conducted any studies as to how many Redbulls are sold? And if you lowered the cost to the market rate, how many more cans would you sell.. have you researched this?

I’ll look into it.

I’m just saying that I would end up saving 1 dinar a week if not more if you just adjusted your price to the market price. That’s 52 dinars a year, insignificant week in week out, but it adds up. All you’re doing is deterring me from buying Redbull from you.. that and creating a negative image of your brand as a whole in my mind.

Ok sir I’ll look into it..

And other people know this too, they wont buy Redbull from here because you charge 20% more. It’s only 100 fils, but we play with numbers all day and a 20% increase is a rip off all things considered.. you’re trying to sell a product at an over inflated price to people who make a living out of skimming.. do you understand what I mean?

Ok sir I’ll look into it.. but across 8 locations..

..What’s to stop me from buying everything at retail price and selling it 550 fils, or 500 fils just to spite you.. wouldn’t you feel pretty upset that someone else is selling to market and you’re losing out on all that business? Cause I would definitely go and get a letter of no objection from the company to open up a side business and sell redbull outside your canteen..

ok sir, i'll check..

Realizing the futility of my words and the exasperation from my needed caffeine fix, I gave up, paid for my 20% inflated Redbull and made my way back to my floor. Are you happy now Reston, Virginia?

serious sandwich talk

the beginning
In my humble opinion, the greatest invention in the world has to be the sandwich. Due to the common sense of housing meat inside bread, everyone claims to have invented this wondrous meal, but the truth is, no one really cares but if you really really want the truth, we invented it. The actual name sandwich is attributed to the 4rth earl of sandwich, who in order to not get his fingers messy had meat stuffed between bread. There are two stories behind the earl’s request, #1 he was constantly working and wanted to eat something at his desk with minimal mess #2 he frequently gambled and wanted something to eat while he played cards.

Here’s how it panned out in 1762 (read in a very English Stewie Griffin voice):

Percy: john, these snacks are absolutely delicious, who would’ve thought to put cold cuts between bread, wouldn’t you say so cecil?

Cecil: oh absolutely smashing your earlness.. absolutely smashing.

John, the 4th earl of sandwich: pretty good ayh gents? now lets call. I’ve got three jacks.

Cecil: I fold, like a tartan kilt.. ahahaaahahaahhaa.. (the room goes quiet) ahhahha?

Percy: sorry john but I win with four queens, dreadful luck ol chap. That takes my winnings to…

John: yes, well you still need to cover the expenses of the sandwich.

Percy: the what?

John: the sandwich you Poncy bastard. You owe me for the sandwich you’re eating. Now pay up before I have Reginald shove a Cornish hen up your rectal cavity.

Incidentally, that marked the first sandwich sale, and gave birth to the short-lived but still famous 4rth round sandwich or Cornish game hen up the butt game at gambling tables worldwide.

yanks take the cakewich
The level of sandwiches offered here in the Middle East, depending on where you eat, are a little disappointing. Let me come out and say that we have no problems in the shawarma and falafel categories – nor do we have any issues with the cafeteria sandwiches (there’s nothing like a samboosa and sliced processed cheese with Tabasco in a white bun). However, the “other” sandwiches tend to cater to a more anglo-palette, carrying a much more angular taste than you’d like. Although sandwiches from all over the world are delicious, I’m just going to again come out and say something else: in the field of creation and reengineering, no one can compete with the Americans. In fact, if there were a sandwich Olympics, I’d just give gold to the Americans in every category and not bother competing. Allow me to elaborate: because of the hodgepodge of ethnicities in the US, a number of immigrants intermingled their national foods and then had to repackage it to suit the average American consumer (think how real Chinese food was altered to suit the American palette) – hence the extra fillings, the pressing, the meals converted into sandwiches, etc. In defining a sandwich, I’m inclined to say almost anything housed between bread is considered to fall within the sandwich grouping, so if a = b, then the Americans (with their multi-ethnicities) have excelled at hotdogs, burgers, cold cut sandwiches, burritos, chacareros, PB&Js, chicken parms, lobster rolls, cheese steaks, and others.

skimping out
When ordering a sandwich here, the person behind the counter usually layers on a slice or two of the actual meat into the sandwich, cheapishly known as the skimping out method. It’s as though they rub the sliced turkey on the bread for you to get the basic gist, but then leave you with two slices and enough lettuce to think you’re a vegetarian. The American method involves layering so much meat you actually have to ask for less pastrami on your sandwich because it’s a little overkill. I like it when I have to ask for less of an ingredient, especially if it’s the meat filling.

mustard misfortune
I am a huge fan of mustard, and although I do like English mustard, that’s the only mustard that is regularly stocked in restaurants and sandwich shops here in the Middle East. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of sinus opening condiments, I do like them, but not as the only option of condiment I can put on my sandwich. I would pick any other mustard over English any day, hands down; whole grain, deli, honey, brown, Dijon, even regular ol’ yellow, there are so many other options. But this goes back to my anglo-palette statement, leaving you to wonder, what kind of culinary contributions have the English given the world that we must cling to their English Mustard to go with our meals?

do your thing
Making due with what we have, I’ve learned to hover in front of the counter as they prepare my sandwich.. If you don’t have what I like on the menu, I will pay you more to let me create my sandwich as I like… a simple substitution of cheese, the choice of bread, the wonders of pressing the sandwich, extra meat, there’s a lot there going on, and if you have the same problem as me, then don’t be afraid to speak up. I’ve trained the cafeteria cooks at work to prepare my sandwiches the way I like them, and have slowly begun reengineering their prepackaged sandwiches to suit your taste.

Some of my Ultimate sandwiches:

Italian: cold cuts with lettuce, tomato, green peppers, pickles, olives, a little bit of onion, salt, pepper and olive oil, toasted.

Hangover: egg with onions and a little green chili, melted cheese, tomatoes, in a white sesame bun pressed.

Union square: prosciutto, brie & cherry tomatoes, all in a buttered plain bagel in a toaster oven.

Work: turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato, mustard in a submarine sandwich, pressed to death.

PBnN: Creamy Peanut Butter and Nutella on white bread.

OyVey: Hot Pastrami with swiss cheese and brown mustard on rye.

Paahhm: chicken cutlet, marinara sauce with tomato chunks, and melted cheese - all in a nice hoagie bun..

Primrose hill: plain bagel, egg salad, tomato and cucumber slices.. salt and pepper..

Dang. I could write a whole post listing my favorite sandwiches and I haven’t even broached the burger topic... What are some of your favorites?

topics on my menu

A little bit of random information for you on a very popular fish: Chilean Seabass is actually called Patagonian Toothfish. Some 30 years ago, Augusto “I’ll show you Junta” Pinochet opened up Chile’s waters to foreign fisheries, and it didn’t take long for the competition to heat up and fishing grounds to dry up. Local fishermen were forced to venture out into deeper more dangerous unchartered waters in which they pulled out an ugly looking, but very meaty whitefish (an anomaly of evolution). The meat was oily, meaning that it was very difficult to overcook and it worked with just about any way you’d prepare it, plus more meat meant more money. In order to market the fish, a snazzier name than the Patagonian toothfish was needed, so they went with the exotic yet sophisticated choice - Chilean Seabass. The popularity of this fish went through the roof and was in such high demand around tables all over the world that fishermen started to overfish those waters. Piracy and illegal fishing of the Chilean Seabass became a serious problem; prompting Government imposed restrictions to calm the frenzy, harboring worries that our craving for this delicious fish would lead to its extinction. With all the negative media involved around the illegal fishing of Chilean Seabass, restaurants have moved on to the next big whitefish… and it be called, barramundi, or Australian Seabass. Although the barramundi is quite popular in Australia, it’s only now starting to cause waves in North America and Europe. Now you know.

Another bit of food related talk: stemming from a conversation with my girl, which got us discussing a product I’m not too crazy about but popular in the Middle East, camel milk. The benefits from camel milk are supposed to outweigh regular cow milk with a much higher fat content and more proteins, but I just can’t seem to get myself to drink it. I read recently that a UAE camel farm in Al-Ain has teamed up with an Australian Company and they’ve developed ultra fine Camel Milk Chocolates. Now I’m not that into camel flavored chocolates, but I think it’s one of those gourmet weird foods that I could understand. I do like the direction that’s been taken with the camel milk chocolates and I’m thinking we should push more of the products from our region out there to different palettes. Camel milk could be the beginning: Chocolate flavored camel milk, Vanilla Camel Milk Shakes, cookies n camel cream ice cream.. the thought does merit further research doesn’t it? Are you listening ben & jerry’s? the end is near..

Since I can’t seem to get off the food subject.. After reading and thoroughly enjoying Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain, I learned something very interesting about people in restaurants that order their steaks well done. In my previous life, I used to cringe at my fellow diners when we’d go to a good steakhouse and they’d order their meat well done. I had visions of the chef flipping out over the customers' demands for overly cooked meat, sucked of all juices and flavor. I secretly hoped the chef would come bursting out of the kitchen, brandishing a cleaver , ready to give whomever a verbal lashing about the quality of the meat and how they were tainting the reputation of the dish by wanting it cooked well done. The truth is, chefs love people that order their steaks well done. A well done steak gives the chef the opportunity to get rid of his/her most horrible cut of meat, or the one that doesn’t look too good.. since you, the diner, don’t give a damn about the flavor of the meat and how well it’s been aged, the chef doesn’t have to worry about grilling it perfectly. Instead the chef can afford to give you whatever’s at the bottom of the meat bin, the stuff that’s going to expire soon.. Next time you order your steak well done, think about that.

And Finally, there’s a huge Vodka debate going on.. On one side of the argument, you’ve got Poland, Finland and Sweden arguing that if you’re going to call it Vodka, then you should distill the hooch from potatoes or certain grains. While France, Italy, Netherlands and other non-baltic states claim that you can use grapes or maple syrup to make vodka. The potato/grain-vodka is made a certain way argument is citing examples of how unless the cheese is made in Greece then you can’t call it feta (much to the disappointment of Danish and French white cheese producers). Another example is that unless it comes from the northeast region of France, it’s called sparkling wine, not Champagne. So the countries that produce Vodka the way it’s traditionally been produced should have the right to call their spirit Vodka right? The counter argument is that Vodka can be distilled a number of different ways, and that there are recipes to produce vodka that go back hundreds of years, that use a number of different ingredients: potato, certain grains, apples, plums, molasses, etc. The copout counter argument is that vodka is mainly consumed to be mixed with something else and that it has no distinct flavor, so who cares what it’s made with… It’s all very interesting, for you drinkers, how do you feel about this issue? Should Vodka, distilled from potatoes or grain be called Vodka and everyone else need to find another name? I’m a little torn..

Hope that’s some food for thought, or maybe thought for food..

Argentine Asado (Good Global Eating)

One of the best barbeques I’ve been fortunate enough to sample has to be an Argentinean Asado… I know this is already going to inflate their ready to burst egos (che boludo), but it’s true, dem Argies really know how to cook meat. Through the guidance of some cool gauchos I’ve come to understand how to pick the choicest cuts, the secrets of doneness, taming the flame, feeling & feeding the fuel, patience, enjoying the moment, and letting that smell of cooked meat waft through your nostrils and just linger there…

A couple of notes on Argentine Grilling… Have you ever inspected a raw steak close up? Do you see those white lines running across the meat, that’s actually intra-muscular fat called marbling. “Classy” Continental cooking always wants you to pick steaks with even marbling, because they believe the cut will be tender and as the fat melts while you cook the steak, it’ll naturally baste the meat for you… Argentine cooking does take marbling into consideration but is more about the tender meaty sirloin & tenderloin… Another very peculiar note of mention is the way the Argies like their ribs.. They actually have the butcher cut through the bone and produce strips of ribs.. So you’ll have a long strip of: meat, then a piece of bone, then meat, then bone, and so on and so forth. There’s no marinade except olive oil, salt and pepper – this is because you're meant to serve your meat with Chimmichurri (will explain) sauce. I like to eat my steaks with wholegrain mustard, maybe you do too... Bread is usually on the table to make you a sandwich from the bbq if you like, and the veggies are limited to a couple of simple salads… The emphasis is on the meat, the salads are just there to cleanse your palette between the different types of meat… Empanadas (Turnovers) are also served at Asados (but I'll have another post for that, discussing the debate between the corn flour or regular flour empanoolees)...

Chefs will always tell you only flip the steak once, or you can’t do this or that, or don’t prod… hogwash.. That’s just people telling you what to do… There are some basic principles that you need to adhere to, but everything else is relative and open to tweaking. One of the main aspects of grilling is that you need two heat sections on your grill, direct and indirect heat. You want a section of the grill where you can sear and properly cook your meat on the outside (direct) and a place on the grill where your meat can cook from the inside (indirect)… apart from that, flipping more than once (although I try to limit my flipping), checking for doneness, voodoo dances in front of the flame, that’s all optional…

The Argies don’t really care for bbq marinades and condiments, they have their own majestic sauce: Chimmichurri. This sauce is what does it for me, the entire meal revolves around the adaptability of this sauce, able to go with: bread, sausages, ribs, steak, whatever you like… Basically, take a lot of parsley, chop it up, add vinegar (white or balsamic), oregano, salt pepper, top it off with olive oil, mix it up and then let it sit… Don’t be afraid to experiment with types of vinegar or other spices to add.. Just don’t deviate from “a lot of parsley, vinegar and olive oil” and you’ll be fine…

Once you have your fire going (basic rule: hand needs to 6 inches from the fire for a couple of seconds max), and the sangria is flowing then you start the Asado… First up are the appetizers: Chorizo or any other sausages you prefer. Never forget to puncture the Chorizo with a fork to let the grease inside the sausage seep out.. There have been cases where the chorizo has exploded and sent hot sausage grease all over the cooking space, so watch out (I think that’s the Argentinean boy scout motto when it comes to grilling, I’ve heard that 4 different times from 4 different people – it’s like look both ways before you cross the street, except with the Argies, it’s fork the chorizo before you throw it on the grill)… grill up the sausages and serve them anyway you want: sliced, whole… I like to slice them down the center lengthwise, tear off a piece of bread lay on some chimmichurri, making myself a sandwich affectionately known as “Chori-pan.”

Next up is Provoleta… ok I believe this is just Provolone Cheese thrown on the grill… Basically, layer thick slices of Provolone cheese in a skillet or one of those little aluminum trays, dribble a little olive oil and some oregano and throw it on the grill… the heat will melt the cheese and then you take your bread and scoop up the melted cheese and enjoy… So simple, yet so delicious…

Enough with the teasing appetizers… Let’s move on the Carne… first up are the ribs… Just like I mentioned above, the ribs are cut lengthwise through the bone with around a 3 inch width… You throw these long strips on the grill and just wait… Thanks to my carnivorous little sister, I’ve taken a huge liking to ribs, but served the American way, where you eat the meat off the bone and have the whole rack drowning in bbq sauce… Honestly, the Asado ribs look really appetizing because you’ve got some cooked meat then a piece of bone, then some more cooked meat, it just looks cool.. With the Chimmichurri spooned on top, euuuf…

The steak is the piece de resistance of the Asado… The Boludos do nothing to their steak except rub it with salt and pepper. The GF and I developed the “slice mini pockets into the steak and stuff them with chunks of garlic” technique – a garlic burst of flavor – which totally works but you can do it anyway you want. Whatever way you opt to cook your meat, follow these rules: Leave your meat on the direct heat section of the grill to let it sear from the outside and then flip… Don’t let it totally cook from the outside; you just want to get some nice grill marks and seal it, trapping the juices inside the meat… Move the steak to an indirect heat section on the grill, to let it slowly cook from the inside… As a rule, I cook all my steaks medium (middle of the line) for people; I’m not going to tell you that Medium rare is the way to go (even though it really is), you can have your steak anyway you like it… but if you tell me you want it well done, I’m still going to give it to you medium – believe me it tastes better than a dried steak… I digress, anyways you’ve just cooked your steak to the desired level of doneness… what now? Well now you wait… the outside is perfectly seared with nice grill marks, the inside has slowly cooked, but the juices are floating inside the steak.. You need to let the steak rest a bit (around 3-5 minutes from taking it off the grill), just to let the juices settle, the cooking process slow down and allow the meat to adjust to its new life as a steak. Once you assemble the steak on your plate, take a couple of spoonfuls of chimmichurri and lay it on… Slice through that steak revealing the different colors and degrees of cooking… the outside is nicely done and grilled, while the center is pink and soft, with the juice from the steak trickling onto your plate. The chimmichurri sauce is just the right accompaniment to the meat – vinegar, parsley and olive oil: it beats any steak sauce any day…

Savoring every bite, you slowly continue to devour your steak, spooning on more chimmichurri, and having that “ohh wow, this is so perfect right now “ expression… That’s what I love about steak, if done right, the meat does on a number on your taste buds that can forever change your views on life.. You carnivores know exactly what I’m talking about

More meat is grilled, more wine is poured, more laughs are shared and more people relax. Communal cooking is always fun, and with the right drivers – you’ve got the right evening. You don’t understand how many good nights have all started off with a trip to the butcher to buy some steak, or dividing up the responsibilities of the Asado…

One of the few moments a man really feels like a man is when he’s standing in front of the fire with the dead carcass of an animal he’s going to devour cooked by his own hands…

If you want to top off the evening in true Argie Fashion: then you must indulge your sweet tooth in Alfajores Cookies... these babies are individually wrapped creme filled cookies and one is usually enough to keep you at bay... The chocolate flavored ones are pretty delicious, but I need to go with the Dulce De Leche as my personal favorite - woooooooweeeeeee, now that's an evening I could definitely do with...

Jordanian Mansaf (Good Global Eating)

I’ve met a lot of interesting people from all four corners of the globe and one of the subjects that always comes up in conversations is food. Different cultures could have different flavors and different traditions, or maybe they have the same dishes with the same ingredients tweaked ever so slightly to represent different tastes. I’ve been fortunate enough to sample a multitude of ethnic foods, from adventures in gastronomy to global comfort food, but the end result is always the same: a satisfied smile, a full belly and a good nap on the couch… Due to the hospitality of a wonderful Jordanian family, an Army of friends was invited to enjoy an absolutely delicious traditional nomadic dish called: Mansaf…

First allow me to explain the dish to you: Mansaf is a traditional dish comprised of three main ingredients: lamb, rice, and goat’s milk “Jameed El-Kasih”. The dish is normally eaten during the wintertime because it’s so heavy and filling, but that wasn’t going to stop me from enjoying this experience. Picture a huge round serving tray lined with Sh’rak bread (a thin Arabic bread).. On top of that bread, a mountain of whey-drenched rice is assembled only to be outshined by tender chunks of cooked lamb ready to fall off the bone, and generously topped off with toasted almonds- leaving you with a pyramid of food to devour. To the side of that dish, is the clincher for the entire meal: the goat’s milk or Jameed… Jameed is goat’s milk/ yogurt that is used to cook the lamb and then poured into a bowl to be served with the dish separately. I know what some of you are thinking,, Goat’s milk? The sauce is what’s used to cook the meat, it’s what you ladle on top of your plate, without it, you might not as well try the dish… (my own personal note: I think Jameed has Tryptophan in it: the amino acid found in turkey meat and laban (buttermilk) that makes people go to sleep)…

Mansaf day preparation (before): Thank god I had the day off, because there is no way I could have gone back to work after a meal like Mansaf. My internal weekend alarm clock woke me up just in time to take a shower and get ready… I stretched, limbered up, wore something comfortable and made my way to the meal…

My hunger and I arrived at the lunch ready, as had everybody else… people were making jokes about how they hadn’t eaten in days, others were asking questions about the dish, while the rest just patiently waited till we were all ushered into the dining room…

The dining room had a number of tables spread about with each table adorning a Huge tray of Mansaf… The women, with their delicate eating habits were provided with their own table to be spared the Neanderthal eating behavior of the men… Scanning the room for the perfectly situated table, I made my way to the table with no chairs where two Jordanian cohorts quickly briefed me on the traditional rules to enjoying the dish: Mansaf is to be eaten standing up, no plates: everyone eats from the same serving dish, and no cutlery except your hands “Bil Khams”. Not to pass up on the experience, I took my spot as we drew up our imaginary borders on the tray, everyone establishing where “his” section was going to be… And there we had it, 3 Jordanians, 3 Bahrainis and a Chinese Egyptian (I know, I know, it’s a long story) ready for their meal…

AND THEY’RE OFF!! The Sauce was ladled over people’s sections on the tray, sleeves were rolled up, a bowl of sliced onions in vinegar, and off we were… tearing off chunks of lamb with your fingers, scooping up some rice soaked in the Jameed and shoveling it all into your mouth to be surprised by how the simplicity of ingredients enhances the delectable flavors in your mouth… wow, wow wow… Some people spooned ladles of sauce on the rice, some gave up and picked up cutlery, some had to sit down… But we persevered… more lamb was torn off its bone, more rice was shoveled and then someone struck gold: the bread at the bottom… Soaking up the flavor of the rice and meat and getting soggy from the Jameed, the bread at the bottom of the tray was a hidden surprise to us all… Two cups were placed at our table, and one of the Jordanians on the table ladled some Jameed sauce into the cup and took a sip… A cultural tradition that I passed on, due to the diminishing space in my belly… I was focused on the tender meat that melted in my mouth… the rice and sauce that got my fingers all messy… the incredible feeling of satisfaction with every single bite – national foods carry a lot of history to them… You immediately understood the history of Mansaf, a nomadic dish: very delicious, very filling, very simple, and very nutritious.

One by one, people began to leave their seats/ eating areas… It looked like packs of Hyenas ravaged the trays.. Everyone walked out of the dining room with a satisfied drowsy look… the couch looked so inviting, but we were too many people eyeing up too little couches. I understood why the dish is mainly served during the cooler seasons, the food just rested in you stomach… Someone turned to me and mentioned cement… if cement tasted this good, then I’ll have to build my house on a full stomach. The only way I could properly describe this feeling is that Thanksgiving turkey day stuffed feeling (Hence the Tryptophan reference).. You’re content, full, drowsy, slaphappy, yet unable to move: the only thing on your mind is a nap and how good that would be… It wasn’t just me, everyone around me had that content “a nap would suit me just fine right now” look… I’m telling you, Mansaf will induce sleep into the most defiant of insomniacs; it should be registered in the journal of medicine as a possible cure…

Once our immediate resting period ended, and we smoked our after meal cigarettes, our hosts continued to spoil us with rounds of tea, coffee, and dessert – until we really had to say “please stop.” And there I was, propping myself up on the couch, trying to adjust my crooked satisfied smile and make conversation with people sharing the same look as me… I felt bad for the rest who had to go to back work after lunch, because for the rest of us with our day off – we could quietly head back home and do nothing for the rest of the day.

We thanked our hosts for a wonderful lunch and matching hospitality, and we all went our separate ways to a comfortable seat in front of the tv, a bed, a couch, maybe even the floor with a couple of blankets… Them Jordanians really know how to cook their food… I can only hope that you’ll be fortunate enough to try this delicacy, because this is an experience you cannot miss… well, unless you’re a vegetarian…

bawston

Here’s what I miss… listening to my pirated digital music while waiting for the bus, T, commuter rail, Fung wah bus. Dennis Dyer and his wonderful liquor store in Watertown. Twin donuts croissant breakfast sandwiches. Walking down mass ave in Central Square and feeling the diversity amongst the MIT students, crack addicts, yuppies and bums. Newbury Street on a pretty day and the witch that roamed the Back Bay. The burbs and the quietness of it all. Walking into a video store and renting any movie that’s out. Saturday hangover lunches at Bottega Fiorentina and their daily specials “Penne Fedora – of course!”. Harvard square and all its nooks and crannies. Leah. Sweating at the door over your fake id. Live music at the Middle East. Being the only Arab at the Field, and drinking de guinessh wit de oirish. Storrow Drive. Complaining about paying a dollar in tolls on the Pike and how they’ve raised the prices. Learning to distinguish the real people from the fake ones, but still loving them all. Trio – only for lulu. Walking from Avalon to Axis to listen to some real music. Reminding Yankees fans that they suck the big one. Live shows at the paradise. Greasy spoons and my artery clogging breakfasts. Getting thanked for holding the door open. The steak at the Franklin café and my desire to be the only straight regular there among all the other south enders. The model café, the world’s greatest dive. The museum of science. Fenway Pahk and the 7th inning stretch. Breaking parking meters with a dime wrapped in paper. The 24hour CVS in Watertown. Taking my time eating my bagel and reading the Sunday paper. Supermarkets and mind boggling wholesale clubs. Sangria, Serrano y mis amigos. Explaining where Bahrain is on the map. Reading the Improper Bostonian for the upcoming events – yes it’s even cooler than timeout. Sunday brunch at the Charles hotel. My quest for the best cheeseburgers in Boston. Wednesday nights at M80 – reserved only for real party animals. Jarritos and steak Quesadillas at Anna’s Taqueria. Waking up at 8AM on a Saturday to watch the English footie. Being the only English footie fan amongst Pats fans. Movie Nazi on Saturday afternoons at the cinema. Real clam chowdah and oyster shots uughh. “Couch patrol” at the Enormous room. Really fast Internet connections. Making friends with all the Arab gas station clerks. Getting the shit kicked out of me for talking my mouth off – and learning to talk less. Bribing my landlord with cigars (thanks J). Becoming a regular at the comic books store and the anime store. Horrible karaoke at Maluken. Learning to grease palms well. Road Trips. Maine and getting sick from too much butter on my lobster. The cape. Driving out to dinner/ club /lounge /bar in shitty shitty weather. After parties in 1008, 303, 711, 275, wherever. Underground, ultrahip t-shirts. The Kebab Factory. Always discovering. Meeting celebrities and realizing that meeting celebrities is such a letdown. Watching my roommate hit on a drag queen and letting him continue until it was almost too late. Falco’s “comatose couches” at 199 Coolidge. Decent driving – compared to here. Knowing the city like the back of my hand. Drinking my chocolate milk in the morning, no matter where I was. Dancing on tables or chilling out at the bar or both – why not. Learning about people and what makes them tick. Opie and Anthony and Whip’em out Wednesdays. Falling in love with Afghani food. Overcoming my fear of snakes as I sent 4 mice to their impending doom. Deep Sea Fishing – and the bar on the boat. South American Accents – Colombians sound the nicest. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, 4rth of July, and all the other holidays I would have never celebrated. Wiffle ball. Water balloon launchers from my dorm window freshman year. The family of Neighbors I had at Spring Street. Videogames and Kozmo.com while ordering wings at Mohi & D’s place at union. cooking with lulu. Great drives along the river. Shoveling snow and waiting till the car warms up. THE INTENSE COLD… Swearing at the ref in Arabic while watching Italian footie in the north end cafes with the Italianos, and being totally accepted. my sister's morning coffee-run - thanks for always buying me nesquick sis. Knowing the free parking spots in the city. The pizza place between aria and venu, whoa… Great Music… “cold tea” at Ginza in Chinatown after 2AM. Sneaking little nips into the Olson’s residence. Ararat restaurant, and being the only person the “mother” would speak to, it’s cause I was the most polite – I miss their Yalanji. Walking… laying out on the grass at the common on a nice day… walking around Beacon Hill… Curious Liquids before they shutdown… The Dominicans playing their baseball on Sunday in front of Douglas Park. Hustling people for dinner playing fifa on the playstation. Getting invited to nice dinners when someone’s parents are in town. Learning the fine art of turning cup of noodles soup, into a satisfying meal. Baulking at Lulu’s super expensive shampoo and conditioner and stylist – I was happy with hong kong hairplace cut your hair very very good. Buying tobacco from Levitt & Pierce in Harvard Square. Rud d? thai food with Ahmed, and then dealing with the aftermath. Working and learning what it feels like to be independent & loving it. Flyers being passed around. Omar’s sets on the decks. Always getting to pick the wine. Never liking anything from Dunkin Donuts – but still loving it. Falling in love with lulu.

I’m sure there’s more, but I guess this is a decent sum up…

virtual tikka tour

Flashback: sometime in the early 80s… location: outside 5 star tikka joint in Manama… setting: dad’s car… players: my dad, brother, sister and myself… memory: Tikka experience 101…

I have no idea where to start with this one… I mean Bahraini Tikka, wow, it’s a phenomenon that you can’t really explain in a post… you have to actually sit there and immerse yourself in a tradition that’s been experienced by generations to get the right feel of it… First off, Tikka is bite sized marinated pieces of meat and fat on a long skewer that is grilled to perfection (but there’s so much more). Kabab (not to be mistaken with Kebab) is grilled minced meat with spices also grilled on a flat skewer… so if you will follow me, I’m going to attempt to take you’re taste buds on a Virtual Tikka tour.

There are many Tikka joints scattered around the island, some are really basic, while others go the extra mile… Every major town has a couple of tikka joints of notable mention. BIG UPS to: TIKKA ABUL, TIKKA AMIN, ASIR, TIKAA AJEEB, and MANDALY… Entering one of these fine establishments you immediately realize that there’s no maitre d, no napkins, and consider yourself lucky if you find bottled water… But I’ll tell you what you do find: a long rectangular grill with a width no greater than 13 inches, filled with red hot coals ready for that grilling experience of a lifetime, wholesome barbequed comfort food, and a messy meal with a tradition to it…

Skewers normally cost 100 fils (28 cents US), and you’d usually order your quantities in half dinar (500 fils) or dinar amounts… So there you are in a no frills Tikka joint… Yer Hungry, so you place a half a dinar order of tikka, a half a dinar order of kabab, take your can of preferred carbonated beverage and wait for your meat… for the sake of my childhood memories we’re going enjoy this virtual tikka experience the way my dad made his kids enjoy it, in the car… His reasoning behind this was that the place was too dirty to eat in, but you didn’t want to drive all the way home in the car and risk having your meat get cold and the fat solidify (solidified marinated fat isn’t appetizing, take my word for it). I digress… Allow me to explain the cooking method involved in grilling your tikka. The griller arranges the skewers on the grill and lets the hot coals serve their purpose (sometimes there’s a little electric fan directed to the grill to keep the fire going). The skewers are arranged with a couple of pieces of meat followed by a piece of fat, this is very important cause you need a little bit of fat to melt and drizzle onto the meat. The sizzling doesn’t stop until the griller decides it’s time and he flips all the skewers to get the other side nicely charred. Once the meat’s cooked, a huge piece of Iranian bread (think thin pita bread with the diameter of a medium/large pizza) is folded in half and by properly holding the fold, the meat easily slides off the skewer (I know, it’s hard to explain, you just have to see to understand it).

All of a sudden, there’s a knock at your window and there’s “Qamar-el-din” the man of the moment with a plastic bag filled with a bunch of aluminum foil wrapped bundles (if he’s nice, he might have some extra plates for you to enjoy your meal on)… You take out one of the aluminum bundles and unwrap it to find a whole lot of Iranian bread rolled up in a mini parcel, once you unravel the bread, you’re nostrils are immediately greeted with the smell of succulent grilled meat… mmmm… There’s a paper bag filled with your required veggies: Bagul, onion slices, green chilies, and lemon wedges… Bagul looks like thick blades of grass, but tastes pretty good (it’s all part of the experience, bear with me)…. Take the lemon wedge and squeeze the juice all over your meat, then tear of a piece of bread, arrange some bagul and onion and then add some of the meat and all of a sudden you’ve got your first bite… The combination in your mouth takes your taste buds on a heavenly roller coaster and you start wondering how can you eat this everyday for the rest of your life… The meat is hot and juicy with the lemon juice enhancing it’s flavor, while the bagul and onion provide you with that raw veggie “good for you” filler taste. The whole thing is wrapped up in bread making it easier to eat since everything is arranged in a mini roll… Some people hate the fat and some people love the fat, I don’t mind it as long as long as part of it is burnt and has that marinated lemony crispy yet soft center taste to it… Over the years, various tikka joints have improved their variety offering different types of marinades: yogurt, lemon, chili, and tomatoes (they’re all good depending on your taste and they still retain the original flavor of the meat). Kabab meat is served and eaten just the same as the tikka except the meat is minced and a lot softer. The spices used in the meat mix are complemented with the grilling style delivering a wonderfully flavored meat. I personally cannot make up my mind, which tastes better, so I usually end up ordering both, as should you…

Personally, the best part of the meal is the oily bread… Think of the tikka parcel like the earth, and the meat is the core. It’s then wrapped in layer after layer of bread (Gurss – the actual “loaf” - if you want the Bahraini lingo). The inside layer is soaking up all the juices and oils from the meat flavoring the bread and making it so moist… mmm heavenly… I know what you’re thinking… I need me some tikka right now… I couldn’t agree with you more…

WARNING: Sometimes eating tikka leaves a film of fat that covers the roof of your mouth… It doesn’t taste like fat, but it does taste like there’s an artificial film coating the roof of your mouth and can be a small price to pay for the taste. I’ve found a good way to combat this unwanted after effect: whiskey, but vodka works just as well… I’m not a scientist, but I’ll tell you the higher the proof the easier it is to breakdown the film in your mouth…

Tikka is a Bahraini tradition that’s slowly losing it’s fight to corporate fast food… Keep your memories and enjoy tikka, it’s much cheaper than buying a burger meal, and you’ve just helped local businesses survive a little longer… Bad tikka joints do exist, I just experienced it this weekend, but that shouldn’t deter you, there are many great eateries just waiting for your appetite and money…

Cheeseburgers...

Ok a little about myself… I love cheeseburgers… I love cheeseburgers so much , I can eat one, and then wait a bit and then eat another 20… single or double, ketchup and mayo, or ketchup and mustard, or just ketchup… lettuce, tomatoes, melted cheese, onions, pickles, and a sesame bun. It just doesn’t get any better than that… I think I’m going to dedicate this post to CHEESEBURGERS IN BAHRAIN!!!

You can’t talk about cheeseburgers in Bahrain without bowing down to Jan Burger. Those of you that know what I’m talking about are probably nodding your head in agreement.. I commend you on your good taste… Jan Burger started out in the mid-nineties in Bahrain with one location in Hoora, and it was not long before they started opening up branches all over the island. Don’t expect an experience in fine dining, or in corporate fast food efficiency… Expect a kick ass burger… First off, they do all their cooking over a charcoal grill (kudos on that one – there’s nothing like that barbequed burger taste)… Second, they use basic ingredients, but it’s their secret process that keeps it all together (I’ll get into that in a bit)… Third it’s local… and I don’t care how good that BigMac tastes (pretty damn), but Jan will always be Jan…

It’s a very simple establishment: do you want a regular Jan burger or the Big Jan (double patty) : beef or chicken (both equally good)… as your food’s being grilled, they prepare the buns with all the fixings: lettuce, tomatoes, cheese (if you want it) and ketchup… Once the burger is done and prepared, it’s wrapped in Aluminum foil and then put back on the grill for a short period of time… Although I’m not too sure what happens with this added process, but allow me to describe the outcome: Everything harmonizes together… the meat, cheese, and bread all get stuck together while the juice from the meat softens the bread leaving you with a symphony of flavors and textures…. I’m getting so hungry just thinking about this… In my book, Jan Burger is definitely the best burger in Bahrain…

Next up we have Jasmis – the original Bahraini fast food burger joint… let me tell you something, we’ve got McDonalds, We’ve got Burger King, but Jasmis is on another level… Maybe cause it’s a local institution that I’m partial to it, but you can’t avoid the fact that they’ve taken the best sandwiches from BK and McDonalds and Jasmisized them… They’ve got the Big J (the big mac’s long lost brother), the Special and Mini J (from the whopper family, yet slightly different), and all the other additions to the menu… I grew up eating Jasmis, and I have to admit, that they will always have a special place in my heart… Watching a local company beat the odds, establish a name, and cook up a good fast junky foodish burger? Doesn’t get any better…
Local burgers are pretty good, if you find the right place with the right ingredients… to me the right ingredient to make the perfect burger is love… you need to squeeze that minced meat in your hand as you add your ingredients. Caress the patties as you shape them… You can’t tell me that sizzling sound when you place the patties on the grill isn’t heavenly on your ears… the grill mark inspection once you flip over the burger… The billowing smoke carrying that charred meat scent filling up your nostrils… the way the cheese melts giving your burger excellent cheese to meat surface coverage… those thickly sliced onions that get thrown on the grill for good measure… whoa… I can’t believe it’s the third week in Ramadan… I am starving… listen to me, writing about cheeseburgers…