I rant you risten

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

vocabulario y adios

Still on this major whirlwind of self discovery… will be taking a break for a while - not sure how long, just need to realign my life.. it could take a couple of days, it could take a couple of weeks..

Here’s your last three words for a while..

Word #1 Daft-Days
Word #2 Cockamamie
Word #3 Bonzer

So enjoy the last of your daft-days having a bonzer time, thinking of how you’re going to incorporate cockamamie into your vocabulary.

Good bye for now..


Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Vocabulario #5

Week five and counting ladies and gents.. things are looking interesting – the weather’s getting better and people have started sending in their submissions for words. Remember, bahrainirants@gmail.com for your suggestions, Cerebral Waste has a good one for next week. but for this week, this is what you need to incorporate into your talk. I know I haven’t picked the easiest words to use, but you guys should be pros by now.

Word #1: Finicky
Word #2: Boondoggle
Word #3: Scallywag

I’m in the middle of a heavy moment right now, I don’t really have anything insightful or stupid to say, so I’ll just keep it short. Moo.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

10 minutes on music

Music is just another extension of my character… I use music when describing my mood, I use music to remember conversations, I use music to fill in awkward moments of silence… Music is what dictates my life and I dictate my music… Thought I’d lay down a 10 minute exercise on the music that’s defined my life..

The latest global underground compilation reminding me of days long gone, with that Depeche Mode Lexicon Avenue remix that Digweed and Cataneo made so famous… Foghat and Free for some unabashed 70s rock n roll. The Rolling Stones to remind me that you can’t always get what you want under my thumb… Coldplay for those silence filler moments in our lives (Even though their latest album got Paltrowed) … The “the” bands filling in that modern hipster appeal with that certain ‘je ne sais rien’ taste… Daft Punk for that robot in us all… Annie Lennox for being the most undervalued Diva in music (up your French Canadian ass Celine)… looking for jojo on his search for California grass with the Beatles… Sublime, cause they simply were… Ray Charles, Miles Davis, Satchmo, BB King, Muddy Waters, and John Lee Hooker for real Rhythm & Blues. Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holliday, Dinah Washington, Nina Simone, Gladys night, and Queen Aretha for teaching me about lovin’ and fallin’ in love. Glen Miller, Bobby Darin, Nat King Cole, Dave Brubeck , Louis Prima, Sinatra, Deano, Sammy and the music that actually made you want to wear a suit. LL cool J, for making me want a girl with extensions in her hair, bamboo ear rings at least two pairs… Queen, cause without Freddie Mercury in my life I don’t think I would’ve ever been able to hold a mic with such panache. Getting back into the mid to late 90s alternative collection, toad the wet sprocket, tonic, dishwalla, remember that shit? Singing along with David Bowie and wondering if there really is life on mars… letting Bob Marley rub it to me belly like guava jelly… Spoon for quickly becoming one of my favorite current bands.. Pearl Jam live with Eddie Vedder’s incoherent ramblings and him just going off on a “won the lottereee” tangent. George Clinton and P-Funk: thanks to Depute T who brought the funk out… Sade for making me want to make love to her music, mermaid on no ordinary love is one of the best new agey love songs out there without it being too cheesy, trust me. The Wu-Tang clan: for keeping me still interested in rap – master the art of 52 blocks iron lungs… The Strokes for making me blast their music, seroo gets it (well she gets it all). Ani Difranco – for touching my heart in junior high in terms of her music and my fantasies. Wavy Gravy by Sasha – one of the best electronic tunes in the history of music – really – and Sasha’s such a nice guy, we’re pals.. right mohi… New wave, next wave, post punk, garage rock & the indie rock scene that none of us will ever fully grasp but love with such unbridled passion. The random bands that clap their hands in Brooklyn. Watching trance pass it’s expiration date and shaking my head, feeling the industry never really getting progressive house – leaving the jungle to the junglerats – wondering when people will wake up from electro. Marvin Gaye for being such a cool cat. French Pop rock like Phoenix and Zoot Woman. Nordic representation from Royskopp and the Kings of Convenience – id rather dance id rather dance then talk with you... Loving Dave Mathews in high school and then hating him in college and now liking him all over again, I wonder why? Rai, for bringing much needed credibility to Arabic music. Ricky, Jooj, n Nif for being the only people on this planet who’s taste in rap I trust. Idlewild for writing anthemic music. Aphex Twin-khalas. Asking God why Otis Redding wasn’t given a chance to rerecord Sitting on the Dock of the Bay. Franz Ferdinand for making ballsy music, the rakes for being the new franz, and whomever is going to be the new rakes... Devo, for being so misclassified as a wacky band with that one hit, it’s all about the gut gut feeling.. Cheap Trick for writing the best Karaoke song ever. Jamie Hewlet and Damon Albarn for making virtual musicians that actually rock, I had the hots for tank girl. “METLIKA” for making downloading digital music so much harder. Mylo and that 80s electronica rebirth. Radiohead, if you disagree with this, then I pity your ears. The Smiths – for writing some of the best lyrics ever- I would go out tonight, but I haven’t got a stitch to wear (marvelous?)… Maximo Park for being some of the most refreshing new music I’ve listened to in a while. must listens: Arcade Fire, Interpol, Postal Service, Stars, and throw in Spoon again…. Portishead for roads.. Massive Attack and Mezzanine, need I say more? Tori Amos for her piano playing skills - & a little fantasy dreaming. Harry Connick Jr. made me want to serenade someone. IRON MAIDEN – no questions asked no further explanation necessary. Bill Withers for that song that puts his two timing lover in her place – goddamn what a tune.. Duran Duran because I grew up on them and remained faithful to this day – NO NO NOTORIOUS NOTORIOUS.. Dancey Modern Rock, none of that bullshit on the radio..

there’s so much to talk about I just can’t seem to recall much right now, I’m sure my cd collection is jealous, but she knows I love her so.. Here’s to impulse buys on Amazon, incredibly roundabout reviews on Pitchfork, mistaken mapping on Gnod, shot in the dark searching on Myspace, and all the people that helped me discover new sounds. Special mention goes out to the mod looking fellow at the HMV in Heathrow Airport, Terminal 4. ok that wasn’t too bad was it?

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Vocabulario #4

Back to the board for this week’s edition of what words to slot in into your weekend lingo... If you have an interesting word you’d like considered for vocabulario, drop your suggestion off at bahrainirants@gmail.com. I cannot stress how important it is for you to use these words, for the sake of children, please, for the sake of the children.. You know me and my shenanigans, always trying to abscond from reality yet at the same time remain conspicuous to everyone..

Word #1 Abscond
Word #2 Conspicuous
Word #3 Shenanigan

I’m thinking a lot about Mastodons today.. don’t really know why, but they just look so furry and fun… imagine sliding down those tusks, grabbing on to their fur as they run.. ahh life in the Paleozoic, could have been interesting once you got past the fact you were wearing animal hides and fire was your best friend..

Monday, December 12, 2005

Chemically Dependent

I strolled into work with minutes to spare - the drive to work had been done in a zombified state – breakfast was good but something was lacking… Waiting in front of the moneymaking corporation’s elevators, I avoided exchanging morning pleasantries. What is with mornings that everyone has to say hello? I mean it’s not just about being nice to the people in your department or on your floor – no, everyone says hello, everyone… Normally, I’d also be slinging my hellos and slipping my good mornings to the people around me. But today was different; I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I could feel it – there was a sense of total discombobulation. What the hell is going through my head? Something’s amiss and I can’t figure it out… The biggest problem is locating the source of discomfort – once you know what it is, that’s half the battle – whether it’s guilt, shame, pain, whatever, once you figure out why you’re feeling blue – you can now work on focusing your attention on the solution… This morning was a totally different case… I had no idea what the hell was happening in my world…

Riding the elevator with the covered mafia, my hallucinations began… Audio and Visuals – I could’ve sworn Bertha (the leader of the cackle of covered women where I work that refuse to have any form of communication or interaction with any member of the opposite sex, because they wouldn’t want to tempt me – sweetie, there is no way on Earth you will ever - let me repeat that, ever, tempt me) actually said hello to me… like lemmings one by one they all ensued in their good mornings… tears welled up in my eyes – what the hell was happening to me?

Leaving the elevator I took a quick right and then a left and made my way to my department’s designated work space… plunking down at my desk, turning on my computer, the lull of the machine normally puts my heart to ease, but this time, it was frustrating… my fingers were rapping the desk to some 99bpm. My knees started to shake.. the migraine began to pierce my head like a jackhammer – pain, debilitating short term pain, not something you couldn’t live with, but just pain that you didn’t need that early in the morning.

And then, like a ton of bricks, it hits me.. I need caffeine. The pain I’m feeling in my head is because of the caffeine, I need coffee and I need it now. Yes yes I know, it’s an addiction that gives you headaches if you don’t cater to it, stains your teeth, leaves you with nasty coffee breath, a diuretic (need I say more?) – but there’s nothing I can do about it.. I need coffee to start my day and then I might need some coffee before lunch and then I will definitely need coffee after lunch to give me that final push to the day’s finish line.

My derived use of coffee is split down the middle, I like the taste of it when it’s good coffee, and I use it to jolt my system. I’m a regulated addict, I’ll drink it when I need to pick myself up and I’ll drink it whenever I feel like it. it just does so many wondrous things to your heartbeat that you can’t really ignore the benefits of coffee..

When this whole thing started, I was particular with my coffee consumption; i had to be drinking something decent. I refused to go near the instant coffee tin at the office, save that for when you’re trapped in a hidden bunker hiding from the fascists. I’ve been known to slum it and drink the instant or folgers, but the pains in my stomach afterwards are just not worth it. And after a family donation, I was the proud owner of an unused Espresso machine that now resides at our designated workspace. She’s my little baby, she’s temperamental at times and can kick up a fuss, but she does get me going. Her steamer doesn’t work as well as I’d like it too, but she does give me good head, of espresso that is..

It didn’t take long before we’d become world-class baristas: Americanos, Macchiatos, lattes, we even created our own version of the cappuccino – notquiteuccino (told you the steamer doesn’t work). It’s not like we’re dolts that spend all our money ordering from these overpriced coffee houses (that does happen though) – no we buy our ground beans and make our own deliciously tasting coffee… well not right now, because it seems my coffee connection “Midel” can’t seem to find me a regular sized bag of ground espresso, and they’re trying to push the 1 kilo bag of pure CafĂ© Colombia.

This started with me being angry at my caffeine addiction and turned into my love affair with coffee and the little krups that could. Don’t you wish you worked with me? On the plus side, you’d be drinking delicious coffee. On the minus, you’d be dealing with highly caffeinated people who would probably get you to sing along to some Sinatra tune – maybe even some 50cent..

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

weekend talk..

The lack of posting is because I've been spending my time in a seminar in Dubai with Maury the Big Swinging you know what ex private equity banker of bankers. Happy Days Maury Happy Days. I've also been missing an internet connection, and now luckily find myself infront of an Afghani laptop that's got welcome to Kabul stickers on it (no kidding).

It's week 3 of building your weekend vocabulary with edu - So here are this week's words that you must and i mean must, incorporate into your conversations. i think you'll like this episode, me and waseem think they're so funny..

Word #1 Tomfoolery
Word #2 Preposterous
Word #3 Whimsical

I'm working on something.. be patient..