I rant you risten

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Wisdumb

A bunch of people all over the world were requested to provide some valuable nuggets of wisdom. Some people sent some very thoughtful and chicken soup for the soul stuff, some motivational talk, some philosophical mumbo jumbo, some downright insane, and some quite educational. I’d like to add a statement here by saying that these lines of wisdom were directly pasted from whatever the person sent me, no editing or censoring took place, you cannot hold me accountable for what’s written here, unless you like it, then it was totally my idea to bring these thoughts together. So without further ado, I present to you a global project here on Bahraini Rants entitled: Wise Words of Wisdom from Random People.. enjoy..


Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Nobody scratch your back, but your own nail.

He who is shy does not bring children.

Cupcakes are like hugs -- with icing!

When a guy is 16 17 and 18 he MUST do the things a 16, 17 and 18 year old does. If he doesn't he will wind up doing them when he is 30.

Insomnia can be easily remedied by drinking a warm glass of milk and jumping.

Never play 'mouse caught in a mousetrap' with your penis.

What would you do if you weren't afraid? Now go do it!

Don’t brush your hair and then put a turtleneck on immediately after.

Make mistakes faster.

Never play tag with a paraplegic; it’s just not fair.

life . . . live it!

People who know how to eat sushi don't order California rolls.

Pus somewhere + pus nowhere = pus under the diaphragm.

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

If you're gonna play with the stapler then at least don't keep your finger between the claws.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

If in Prague and you're talked into getting in a taxi solo at 4am heading to an unknown destination.. use common sense and jump out if the vehicle starts reversing down an alleyway.

No fear…if you do it, are you going to die?

Sex alleviates the tension caused by love.

run everyday, eat your veggies, but don't miss out on coffee and chocolates.

If people are going to start telling the truth around here, I'm going to bed.

Without information, you are nothing.

I'm a veteran. I've seen hobos miss the train, cats miss the rat, monkey miss the branch.

Oddly, life is much like a house; the view changes from where you stand and the world depends on where you place your windows.

Never go to pay your respects at a funeral after a three-martini lunch.

Timor-Leste (also known as East-Timor) was the last country to be admitted to the United Nations. Following Switzerland, in 2002, it became the 191st member. Timor-Leste is an Island off the coast of SouthEast Asia and Australia. It also happens to be the poorest country in the world, with a purchasing
(or lack of) power parity of $400.

Fit is the new Rich

The impossible lives right next door to the possible. People ring its doorbell by accident everyday.

As we get older; it becomes harder to kid ourselves.

To live a full life one must keep all of the following in balance as well as given the same level of importance: love, career, friends, family, hobbies, motherhood. Become obsessed with one and it throws everything off.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Tell the people you love you love them, cause you never know when they'll be taken away.

Sometimes life just feels like you've stepped into a pile of shit on the day you forgot to wear shoes.

The only things you regret on your deathbed are the experiences you never had.

Always stir your martinis never shake, it just gets cloudy, and who wants to drink a spermy looking martini?

s = ut + 1/2*a*t^2

v = u + at

v^2 = u^2 + 2as

You cannot call yourself an adult until you can answer the question, What do you really want? in clear, truthful and uncertain terms.

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later.

Always be nice to waiters - they're the ones who decide whether to spit in your food or not.

Never give advice without explaining your costs first.

Be an icebreaker (conversation wise. Don't go around breaking ice, that's just weird).

Next time you see someone handing out leaflets in the street, take one - it'll help them get home faster.

..be Careful where the dog shits ya.


Contributors: soos, sinister greg, farah, amunki, dave, didi, ricky, no static, mto, karpinski, chanad, lina, mahmood, d, randommo, n, tammyp, deniz, mohamed, rf, tibor, sahar, falco, 248am, steve, barrak, jellybean, bonsaim, leena, and me.

special thanks to the proofreading sleuth..

4 comments:

Baroque said...

OMG!
AMAZING GUYS!
JUST LOVED IT! ;0)

N.A. said...

Nice piece of work

Cerebralwaste said...

Great post BR!!!

scarlettepimp said...

and my all time favorite: if you haven't found heaven below, you will fall off it above