"Making You Cooler.."

Yeah yeah yeah – it’s been a while..

Back at work and back to my mundy life... coffee dependence is at an all time high & Costa are out of Vanilla Syrup making my Vanilla Frescato with 2 shots of espresso unavailable (better supply chain management guys… that’s all I’m going to say). New music has kept me going and thrashing away at my keyboard – making work more bearable. Stuff I’m listening to: Spoon, hothotheat, the rakes, clap your hands and say yeah, stars, hail social, Interpol, verve remixed, royksop, OST: life aquatic with steve zissou, & my bloody valentine. "Gut Feeling" by Devo is an awesome tune, thank you 80s Ian…

Stroking my t-shirt fetish a little bit:
We’ve decided to launch a new project entitled: “Making you Cooler…” After much stomping and tromping around weirder sections of Manhattan, warehouses in Brooklyn, a couple of dodgy streets, underground shops in alleys in downtown Boston, and some other random places – We have procured some of the finest ultra-hip t-shirts to grace this part of the world. I’m talking about shirts produced by some of the coolest design incubators on this planet – from two of the most important epicenters of all things hip: New York & LA.

I have a really big problem with the quality and acceptable level of coolness of available t-shirts in Bahrain.. First off, Bahrain is such a small market that buyers from your favorite shopping mall clothing store here get their stock from the Buyer in Dubai who gets it from the company. So you’re getting fashion as per the Buyer in Dubai and then the Buyer in Bahrain – can you say leftovers? And then what happens? They order enough shirts to make your cool purchase seem insignificant because you’re guaranteed to see a bunch of people wearing the same thing. Is that cool for you? If not, read on..

Most of the shirts at your shopping mall are rip offs something else. Allow me to rephrase – these clothing corporations don’t give a shit about giving you an original quality product, they want to sell you a trend. I remember walking around Camden Town years ago and finding a vintage “Omaha Hammers” T-shirt. I thought that was unbelievably cool, why? Because there actually was an Omaha Hammers team, and this was their shirt from years ago - that’s what made it cool to me – it has history to it. You can walk into the “Push & Boar” store and see something very similar, but there’s no story, there’s nothing authentic about it. There could very well be a real “Wisconsin Warriors” team - but what you’re buying right now is a mass produced print on a t-shirt that someone thought would sell because they were going to take advantage of a fad – nothing original about that. And having everyone else buy the same shirt diminishes the coolness factor in multiples of 100. Do you like being original and unique? If yes, then read on..

After your personality and hair, T-shirts are the next best form of personal expression. So why compromise that and look like everyone else? Why did I even think about this? Because I love T-Shirts and I know there are people like me on this island that share the same passion and are willing to go the extra mile for an article of clothing that you’ll want to hold onto as long as you possibly can. Fashion and trends are invented in places far far away. People that dictate what is cool, dictate from places far far away. These shirts are straight from that fountain of funk.

They will be going on sale at a location near you pretty soon – but until then, I’ll entertain serious buyers via email – we are like this only – what to do? This stuff ain’t cheap, but being cool never was… If you want to go against the grain and purchase a t-shirt, granting you a slice of something globally hip – let me know…

Adventures in Bremen, Maine

Whitmore Cottage
After three and a half hours driving up 95 North through to Route 1 Coastal and finally ending up somewhere in the mid-coast region, we get to Damariscotta, the last brush with civilization before we head up to our little getaway by the sea. Stopping off at the local supermarket, we cruise down the aisles planning out meals for the next 5 days or so – Leah grabs a ticket at the deli section, while I start getting overwhelmed by the amount of fruits and vegetables in front of me. Burgers, Steak, Chicken, Kielbasa (thank you Poland), Cereal, Eggs, Milk, Cheese, Burger buns, Tomatoes, Lettuce, Cola, pancake mix, Juice, Ice Cream (best enjoyed in the summer), the list just keeps on growing... Just before we get to the register, a quick mental note of our provisions is taken – do we need anything else? Babe, it's a 15-20 minute drive back to the supermarket – I am not driving back to fetch you anything. The closest thing you‘d remotely consider commercial civilization is a 15 minute trip away (one way) - but fresh lobster and clams, 2 minutes, tops… The barcode scanner is exhausted at checkout, money is exchanged, and back on the road to our final stop: the video store – Spending your holiday in a cottage on the coast in the middle of "no one can hear you scream" country, means that you do need something to keep you busy at night…

I've been doing the trip up to Whitmore Cottage with Leah for 4 years now.. A place that once seemed so foreign and amusingly rural is now like a dream-home to me, a getaway… The Cottage has been in her family almost 100 years & has come a long way since the days of the outhouse and eyes in the darkness... This is everything you'd picture a quaint cottage to be, wooden beams, creaky floorboards, fireplace, a lot of forest, and a path leading to a dock that leads to the Atlantic Ocean.

I don't even know where to begin… On a dirt country road that looks like a picture from a Credence Clearwater Revival vinyl album cover, your first reaction when you pull up to the cottage is "I am so done with being cooped up in a car" – then it's soon switched for a smile and a sense of really being on holiday - a place where you can do anything and nothing, you decide… the lobster traps set out at the entrance, the barrel filled with impatience (flowers, I shit you not) – the gas grill: my territory. A screened in porch with rocking chairs facing a path that leads to the ocean, a hammock for lounging around and enjoying the cool sea air while you read or just think…

Inside: Imagine an isolated house with enough things to keep you amused indoors for all sorts of people and all sorts of groups of people and all sorts of bad weather days (very important). Cards, Backgammon, Chess, Board Games, Movies, all types of Puzzles, Books Books and more Books - Leah‘s Granny has read more books than anyone I‘ve ever met, her entire library is spread over 3 delightful abodes - with a book for anyone at anytime (I‘m currently reading Noble House by James Clavell, see what I mean?)… The antiques present are true representations of American history: different tools and instruments giving you a visual understanding of the chronological order of life in America. Flags, signs, rugs, light fixtures, pictures, glass eye washes, heated bed warmers, all sorts of things that that instill the history, feelings and everyday life of America. Of how young it is compared to Europe, or different it is from the rest of the world - but still unbelievably awing..

Running down the path through the brush to your own personal dock and link to the sea when you first get there is awesome, often leaving you lightheaded… your lungs haven't enjoyed air this clean in so long that your brain does a little jiggle cause the oxygen is so good... the water, I don't have to tell you is cold, very very cold - It‘s the Atlantic Ocean, what do you expect… Dive in and swim back to the dock to let your heart get over the shock of that freezing water.. and then dive in again. Cannonballs and Jacknifes into the water work just as well... Talk about jumpstarting your heart.. you can feel the icy cold water keep your lungs fresh and your heart pounding (but a very healthy pounding)… There’s a little dingy with a little-engine-that-can and would probably just take you to the islands out in the distance where you can see the Puffins. 3 tiny uninhabited islands within rowing distance, with one of them home to an old wooden fort with rope ladders and all.. Great Pirate Rumbistifications relived once more.

Year after year, Leah and I have trekked up from Boston to enjoy our solitude in this beautiful place. strolls in different coastal towns - dinner on the dock with the sunset - getting sick from too much butter on our lobsters - enjoying your coffee on the porch and enjoying the Ocean view - heading to the beach - cooking our meals together - sun worshipping on the dock - Moody’s Diner - getting pushed into the water - watching the dog go nuts in the open - chain-sawing the hell out of an old picnic table - fishing - tin roofs and rainy days - just a place to be alone together… heavenly…

Country Folk Versus City Folk
People’s attitudes are completely different in the country… There’s a sense of trust and honor… Take my German Pie Lady for example.. She lives on Waldoboro Road and has a little bake stand outside her house where she has homemade pies, cakes, breads, cookies, and fresh eggs for sale everyday - and there’s no cashier, no till, no one to make sure you‘re paying the right amount, just a slot for you to put your money in and it’s all based on the honor system… I thought this was the most incredible thing I had ever seen, well until someone pointed out that her husband could very well be waiting in the window chugging his 6 pack and loading his shotgun to shoot anyone who didn‘t pay… That said, it’s thanks to my German Pie Lady that I’ve gotten turned on Blueberry Pie - in a very serious fatal attraction kind of way… thank you German Pie Lady…

Those extremely rough and tough lobster fishermen and Haggard-y Sea Captains keep excellent conversation over a single malt or a pint of whatevers yer pouring at the local. The people here are much friendlier than i had expected..

Wilderness Survival Instincts
Whatever skills or talents you have acquired to survive an urban jungle are worthless in the country… A bat once managed to escape into the house through the rafters and made its way for my bushy bird’s nest hair… After a quick panic attack and images of the bat going straight for my neck, Leah and I came up with an elaborate scheme involving a piece of string, a bowling ball, a match, a bottle rocket, a fisherman‘s hat, a paper bag, some cheese, and a shotgun.. Just before our far fetched plan was executed, she gets an anxiety attack and I’m left in the room with a bat flying circles around my head. I did what any neurotic city person would have done: I grabbed whatever resembled a racket and tried to whack the bat through the sliding doors and out of the cottage - returning service style… The attempt worked and the bat was sent back to the wilderness without receiving a single whack - directed him out quite peacefully.. (After our incident, a bat house was put up and we’ve had no problems since)…

You’ve got to be on your toes when you‘re not in your element: quickly learning to distinguish Poison Ivy from the herb garden variety - learning how to start up a gas grill with nothing but a piece of twig, and 4 gallons of paint thinner - learning it is always best to check with the authorities if it's red tide and if it’s ok to cook n eat the mussels that just wash up on your shore - how to properly apply and reapply insect repellent..

I'm just saying that there's a lot you can learn from mother nature - unfortunately, a lot of it happens through trial and error - unless you were a boyscout or even remembered anything about being a boyscout...

Meeting all things that move
The beauty of putting yourself in a different environment, you get to meet the many other animals that live with you… It’s like living in your own little nature reserve with all sorts of different birds, beavers at the pond, a red tail fox, snapping turtles, turkeys, dragonflies, insects, spiders, and all sorts of creepy crawlies, dogs, bats, fish, and humming birds…

meeting a hummingbird face to face is a pretty cool experience… because they flap their wings so quickly they can hover right across from you, letting you get a really good look at them in mid-air.. They just come out of nowhere, surprising you and making it an encounter where you feel the need to introduce yourself and say something like: “hello, my name is banzo.” (does it ever make sense?).

Insects and me do not get along… I really don’t know why, it’s not like I want to kill them, but they always come to bite me… and I really don’t know what it is with my blood, maybe it tastes like a ‘95 Valandraud Saint-Emilion, but these bugs just get a kick out of me plasma.. It’s a constant battle with the insect repellent - I’ve tried everything, I’ve been made invisible to bugs, made impervious to bug bites, unappealing to them, tried to keep them off with super quiet sonic waves, I've even considered taking the juice from dead bugs and rubbing it all over my body: warding them off as a walking cemetary for bugs - but I still manage to get at least 3-5 bites.. I wouldn’t mind the bites if they didn’t swell up into little welts… one time outside, I was grilling up some meat and exposing my feet wearing flip flops - I felt a little bite on my toe and just shrugged it off in a “I feel no pain“ manly fashion - three hours later, the venom from the spider bite makes my big toe swell up to the size of a mini kiwi - ridiculous - I couldn’t get my foot into my sneaker till the swelling came down…


In Closing..
Pulling yourself out of civilization for a while - spending time with your loved one but still enjoying solitude and peace is a real vacation… After spending all this time in beautiful and tranquil Maine - it’s time to rock the city…

absurd MJ rumors

So Jacko's still in Bahrain... There are all sorts of rumors circulating and floating around... I just thought I'd share a couple stories that have made the gossip rounds…

Absurd MJ rumor #1: Upon his arrival in the middle of summer in Bahrain, MJ decides to do a little shopping... So he throws on a ladies Daffah/Abbayah and a Burqah to remain incognito, and goes happily strolling around TOYS R US (frightened?). One of the security guards notices something weird about the covered lady and decides to stop her to ask a couple of questions.. MJ's cover is blown and once it's determined that the King of Pop is strolling around TOYS R US, everything gets sorted and back to normal.. MJ then continues his strolling and goes on a BD 900 shopping spree USD 2,385 (I love the fact the rumor actually has a definite amount attached to it)... Personally, I can see how MJ would like to stroll around alone in costume, he's always been into wearing face masks so the burqah would definitely appeal to him.. Also don't forget, he's visiting Bahrain in the middle of the summer - he'd need to protect his face from our relentless summer sun... Him traveling without a bodyguard? not sure about that one..

Absurd MJ Rumor #2: MJ is thinking of enrolling his kids in a private school in Bahrain for an entire year keeping them in a safe environment, rather than in the US where people will continually be talking about them. In order to protect their identities, the kids will be enrolled under fake names... I don't see the point to it all - I mean Bahrain is so small someone is bound to find out who the kids are... I'm wondering who's going to attend the parent teacher conferences?

Absurd MJ Rumor #3: MJ has been intrigued by Islam, and after much cajoling from Jermaine, he's decided to come to live in Bahrain and learn about the religion. He's also thinking of moving Never Land Ranch to Bahrain... I wonder if they'll bring the llamas..

Absurd MJ Rumor #4: He's here to record a new album... This isn't that absurd since he's running out of cash and needs to come up with something new instead of repackaging his old music. I'm just hoping he realizes that he needs to bring Quincy Jones to Bahrain… Come on Quincy, one more challenge, you know whatever you write, he will sing - and that will always go platinum…

Absurd MJ Rumor #5: The Michael Jackson School of Pop is opening up in Bahrain. MJ himself will be instructing young performers on the moonwalk, white socks, and the various props throughout a pop star’s career… Gyrating 101, “taaaheeeheee” for beginners and other classes will be on offer starting this fall..

The picture up top was snapped from someone's cellphone while MJ was strolling around Seef Mall... I like the medal MJ... Check out the bracelets...

What have you heard? bear in mind this is the King of Pop, this man has inspired many and changed the history of music forever - you must respect that... I just hope this doesn't blow up in our faces...

all my blogs are packed, I'm ready to go

me and the blog are takin' a holiday.. 5 weeks of absolutely nothing....
stay tuned for updates...

I'll try to post regularly ... hell, I don't think I ever posted regularly..

don't you hate the recirculated air on airplanes? makes you feel like your skin was getting exposed to everyone's germs... think of all the airborne bacteria floating around... sheeeeeaaaaat... why do all airport toilets stink?

hamama noody noody - the effect of a double jw black on the rocks with soda... can't believe my flight got delayed....

me like choochoo

One more thing about the blood that runs through my veins… I love public transportation.. It’s a really strange but interesting phenomenon, but there’s such a sense of satisfaction of being able to travel around a city or across a country with a little laminated card in your hand. There’s nothing like the feeling of accomplishment when you’ve mastered the public transportation system in another country/language – a challenge worthy of a celebratory pint (sounds like the ‘pin’ in pinch, but with a ‘t’ instead of a ‘ch’).

City living is sublime with the luxury of a decent metro and bus lines. Parking is always an issue or a headache, and when you live in a city where 15 dollars for an hour for parking is a bargain; then your feet, and that little laminated card, ticket stub or dirty copper token sounds really good to me.. Getting rid of my car was such a liberating feeling: no need for gas, maintenance, registrations, cleaning, insurance, taxes, scraping off the ice and snow, brake pads, fluid changes, paint jobs, changing tires, checking tire pressure, service, scratches, dents, broken side mirrors – nothing…

Get on that metro, take three stops down, change stations, catch the other train on the other line heading west – two more stops and BABAM (Sami Style), you’re in the middle of wherever you want to be… walk around, you want to take a cab, no problem, you’re mobile now – you can do anything – no need to have to walk back to the parking lot to get the car to head it over to another parking lot, or meter, or in front of a hydrant...

Think of all the random people you see on the subway – bums, businessmen, mothers, children, students, seniors, hoodlums, tourists, all sorts of people including you and me. Buddhists, Muslims, Atheists, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Scientologists, etc – we’re all taking the metro to get to a specific point… There’s just so much going on the train… Buskers playing all that music you love, vendors selling coffee, flowers, fruit, whatever… All those advertisements and billboards – I don’t think I’ve ever gotten on or waited for a train, and not been amused…

I loved the little commuter tricks you knew about… during the winter time, the best place to sit on the bus was in the back, because the back seats were on top of the engine and the seats were always nice and warm. Summertime, avoid the back seats at all costs. The other side exit at the station where it didn’t feel like there were a hundred people going up or down the stairs. The on your toes skip to avoid puddles of piss. The exact spot where the train stops when it pulls into the station. Just little tricks that make your commute a little slicker…

Commuter rails - wow, linking the suburbs and towns to the cities, absolutely incredible. You get on the train, sit down, the conductor comes, you either have to your card or you pay for your ticket and that’s it… a couple of stops and there you have it, you’re at the parking lot walking to your car to take your 10 minute drive home – just in time for dinner. Getting on the commuter rail makes you see how many people live outside but work in the city everyday, so easy.. Sure it can be a hassle if you have an hour or more commute each way – but I loved reading the paper in the morning, a super-power nap, listening to music, a book perhaps, and even just taking some time to daze off in the morning to collect your daydreams and get ready for the day… I always saved something for the trip home, some footie news, that book, de-stressing, or just sinking in your seat and not having to do anything for the next hour till you make it to your stop.. The commuter rail only worked if you left at a set time.. Working late would suck – doable – but still suck.. I feel for you workaholic commuters…

The downside to public transportation was that sometimes their timing would be off… luckily enough; it’s not really that bad - once you have their schedule - you’re all set… I love bus stops with the schedule posted at the stop – such valuable information. Another downside to public transportation: Rush Hour traffic… it’s unavoidable – but everything comes at a price…

I’ve had the pleasure of utilizing a number of public transportation systems all over the world – credit is given to where credit is due – the Behemoth: The London Underground… 6 Zones, enough train stations that you’ll never even visit, enough subway lines to paint a rainbow. It’s affectionately known as the tube –with the overplayed recording “mind the gap” – The tube has so much history connecting one of the largest most cosmopolitan cities on this planet. This is the place where buskers thrive, advertisers salivate over the foot traffic, and vendors make a living. The tube is a part of life there that many people have just accepted as a component of your daily routine you cannot do without. Make no mistake, the London Underground has withstood a lot: People were evacuated underground during the World War II aerial bombings – People braved the IRA bombings – and they will brave these gutless terrorist attacks. Should people change a part of their lives because of the horrendous act committed on July 7th, 2005? No Fucking way… I’ll be damned before anyone gets between me and my love for taking the subway – You can’t let them think they’ve succeeded – it’s what their violently brainwashed & totally fucked minds are looking for…

I stand by the people of London by sticking my middle finger in defiance to these fucking terrorists – and only hope that with our stand together we realize that you cannot hate an entire religion on the actions of some extremists.

forget you

thanks to DAR and Slonk for this wonderful translation of drunk arabic aangrish poetry:

forget you

forget you, how can i forget you?

how can i forget your height?
how can i keeeb you from my sight?
forget you, how can i forget you?

how can i forget the moon and the sky?
how can i forget the gazelle jumbing high?
forget you, how can i forget you?

you are for me , like the fish is for the sea
I am for you, like the sock is for the shoe
forget you, how can i forget you?

tphoo alaaaay if I forget you...

I needed to believe in something

Inspired by Bike shed’s post here - imagination - a deep love for this place - and the Chemical Brothers tune: Believe.

It was a Friday… the weather was unbelievably wonderful and I got conned into running “some” errands with a friend… Loaded the cd changer with some new music and off we went… I don’t need to tell you, Bahrain, on a Friday afternoon, with magnificent weather is just a wonderful place to be…

Driving along the new flyover in front of the Seef Mall I couldn’t help but notice the progress taking shape… We have begun our transformation from a small island nation to a bustling metropolis. My mind drifted away to what life could be like in the next 10 to 20 years… Y’see a lot of people are upset with the skyline, atrocious buildings going up, road works, a big ‘what’s going to happen to us?’, blah blah blah.. Let me tell you what I saw…

A real metropolitan area, with different districts, improved infrastructure, a developed sense of modern civilization – a place to call home in the 21st century… Driving past the Seef district heading towards Manama, I saw the shopping malls and the gold domes of the Seef Mall on the left. I could see the buildings on the Seaside with their high rises and offices… The HSBC building to join the Al Moayyed tower in the Seef district’s rising skyline. The thought of having a number of high rises has me cheering – it’s time we joined the international community in terms of growth and development. The new City Center shopping mall coming up on the left, yes we will have 5 shopping malls in the same area, too much you say? Why not I think… With residential buildings, commercial offices, shops, etc all opening up, the Seef stands to become the developed commerce center on the island. On the right hand side, there’s the Bahrain Mall, the Dana Mall, the new Chamber of Commerce, and even more buildings coming up with more residential apartments. People will eventually have to start considering living in apartments due to the diminishing space and increasing population. Shaikh Khalifa Bin Salman Highway will be one of the most important strips in Bahrain, roaring development - commerce and a new look to our future.

The Diplomatic Area: In the distance, the Diplomatic Area and our bustling financial center making up another expanding skyline… The two main buildings of the Bahrain Financial Harbor right on the water’s edge welcoming visitors by sea (build it and they will come). The NBB Building, towering over the old souk, representing the spine of the Bahraini commercial banks with the nation’s flag on top, a beacon for everyone to see. The new World Trade Center announcing our membership to the developed world – Two sails reaching for the sky tasting the Arabian sun. The area will forever be busy with its offices, insurance companies, offshore banks, investment companies, law firms, ministries, and embassies. The Diplomatic Area is a our version of the financial district – I look forward to biking around on a Friday when the streets are practically empty – as should you…

Muharraq: Busaiteen is such prime location, great view of the sea extending out to the Seef district… With Muharraq – I see it changing anyway it chooses… I love that island – it develops traditions in its own way & who am I to mess with it…

Juffair: Once all the buildings are up, the construction has been tamed and the streets and sidewalks are paved - making kicked up sand and dust a thing of the past - I can definitely see a wharf built on the water’s edge, with shops and a marina there for people to use… Think about the image for a second, you’ve got all these high rise buildings overlooking the water, there’s a boardwalk with a nice wharf, and some restaurants and a little marina there – make it easy and cheap for people who go fishing to dock their boats – Docks are beautiful with their own type of charm and by inviting the local fisherman to be a part of this new type of development we continue to retain our traditions, we’re just using modern amenities to facilitate their livelihood/passion. Give the residents of Juffair and Manama a place to take a stroll in the evenings and inviting other people to enjoy the beauty of waterfront dining/ shopping/ café/whatever your heart pleases…

Adliya District: A multi-level centralized parking lot with special rates to residents in the neighborhood; metered street parking and special parking zones for residents – strictly enforced by the traffic police, with CCTV to deter any crime. Property developed from behind the zoes/lilou area extending all the way upstairs downstairs region filled with various cafes and restaurants. Following the Riwaq example, more art galleries open up: showcasing the works of local talent. A bookshop or two. Local and International designers opening up boutiques… retaining the small buildings architecture and working with it allowing Adliya to preserve its neighborhood promenade feel. I can just see it all, streets with huge canopies tied to streetlights, providing shade for the casual strollers. Take it one step further… having water misters run under these canopies providing our casual strollers with some pleasant mist to keep cool during warmer days. Heading over to Adliya to pick up your newspaper, have a coffee and meet up with friends never felt so cool… You get a little peckish; there are a bunch of world-class restaurants there to satisfy your hunger.

Qufool: I love this neighborhood, filled with small buildings and close-knit neighborhood quaintness… Imagine the area renovated and rented out.. I can see it being the starter family neighborhood… newlyweds looking to stay close to the city, yet branching out in kitschy one or two bedroom apartments.. Interesting buildings cool roof deck gatherings… You develop a neighborhood feel to the place with your local grocer, butcher, frommagerie - ok maybe I’m going a little too far, but this can all happen, no reason why it can’t…

The Bahrain International Circuit and the development South: Racing is in our blood, whether it be Horses, Boats, Bikes or Cars… The circuit is a step in the right direction for us, bringing attention to our motor sport fever, and letting us vent out our passion in a controlled and professional environment. People have different views on the financial benefit of the F1, give this time, people will catch a serious F1 fever on this island & with a bridge linking us to Saudi & Qatar (in the not too distant future) – we will be the middle east’s link to racing. Once a year, the entire world turns to us for a weekend because of a race – you don’t you think that’s amazing? This is our chance to show the world that Bahrain stands in a class of its own. The new trend in property development - the area looks to get a lot busier… Our beaches get developed – Al Jazayer beach gets a new facelift (I’m not talking about fake sand and a modified landscape) – I’m talking about having a strong push to clean our shores, imposing serious fines for people who litter (I MEAN SERIOUS: BD 100 per offence – force people to accept not littering to pay a fine); I’m talking about bringing Marine Biologists and environmental experts to help us rebuild our marine life… bring back the corals… I want to be able to take my kids snorkeling and let them see what fish live in our waters- don’t you?

A real two level ring road around the island, with exits coming on and off – making your full circle trip around the island much faster. A bridge connecting Bahrain to Qatar, adding to our causeway with Saudi Arabia – an Island nation connected to the two major industrial powerhouses in the area. Many other countries boast to be the pearl of the gulf or the pride of the gulf; but what they cannot boast is prime geographic location… Bahrain will be connecting the Gulf States together… Saudi Arabia will become the prime producer of petrochemicals in the coming 10 years, Qatar will become the one of the main natural gas suppliers and will all these liquefied natural gas projects and the petrochemicals (mega projects) – I can’t see Bahrain not participating in this development and remain eco-friendly. Think about it, these huge trucks transporting all sorts of goods all across the GCC, using Bahrain as a central hub, riding along our efficient ring road making transportation more feasible and easy. It’s not that I can only see our development through the help of our neighbors and their resources – think about the tourism, think about how easy it will be for an inter GCC road trip. Bahrain will become the linkup to the GCC… A trans-GCC railway… Invite small to medium enterprises to come, setup shop and use Bahrain as a hub to export to the region – now tell me don’t you think that’s a good idea?

Bringing our heads down from the clouds… This is the beauty of Bahrain, a future is always there and always promising – we have existed for centuries – we have always been an integral part of history due to our location and we will continue to be a fundamental cog in the Middle East… Realistically, we do not have the manpower or the resources of our neighbors – but we have faith aided with a progressive and thinking population… We cannot let ignorance cloud our thoughts.. Dammit – The Mesopotamians – the First recorded civilization in history used to come and vacation here! We have seen empires rise and empires fall – we will continue to stand… This is my Bahrain and I believe…

cinema pingpong (the scousers get it)

I love movies… There’s nothing I enjoy more than being able to tune out for a couple of hours and just follow the story of alien invaders, a female boxer, a tasteless comedy, a gut wrenching drama – whatever you want… Having become a seasoned cinemagoer and an ex-gold card carrying member of Hollywood video (that gold rental card does wonders with the ladies), I’ve figured out what pisses me off when watching a movie and what I can avoid to ensure a decent movie experience. I have a pattern of things I do at the movies, I try to get there slightly early to ensure a good seat, fully loaded with snacks and supplies, a pre-flick slash, I’ll even bring a sweater to the movie with me to combat the air conditioners…

Modus operandi at the cinema involves disbanding into smaller tactically driven units. One team will wait in line to pick up the tickets and pick seats not too far from the screen – the other team will line up to get snacks – there are stand ins waiting in the wings to step in if nature calls while you’re waiting in line.

I just thought I’d share some movie tips and annoyances that you might also harbor – I know I’m not alone on this one…

Obnoxious assholes at the movie theater – these people suck… These are the budding comedians that feel the need to adlib and try out their material in the middle of your movie experience. Hombre, no one is interested in your comments, keep your incredible sense of humor to yourself and save it for the stage. A friend once came over to my place after the cinema but couldn’t tell me how the movie was because some obnoxious person would not Keep quiet in the theater, and the police had to be brought in to remove this punk… You’d have to be on some serious hallucinogenics to be oblivious to everyone in the movie theater telling you to shut the hell up… the thing I don’t understand is that if you’re going to take a hallucinogenic and be oblivious to the outside world – why on earth would you go to the movie theater? If you’re planning on getting drunk and being loud, then the movie theater has to be the dumbest place to go… Some people like to go against the grain and do “their” thing – well allow me to tell you that your thing sucks fucknut..

I just watched the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy this weekend – and thanks to a cackle of the most inappropriately dressed for the cinema (more on that later) bitches (yes bitches, there’s no other way of referring to them – well maybe the one that kept on apologizing for her friends – she can be free from the bitch title) – I couldn’t enjoy the movie.. The head bitch, with her short dress and matching ethnic trinkets barely covering up her hippo thighs - starts talking because she just can’t seem to grasp the plot that Douglas Adams has been revered for… This, (again I’m sorry for the language but everyone in that cinema will be able to back me up on this one) BITCH, sat there talked on her phone, decided to play around with the flashlight on her cell phone taking a look at the movie goers, and started talking about how she lent this guy money and he wasn’t going to pay her back (maybe cause you’re the spokesperson for STDs you fucking inconsiderate douche bag). Walking around with her pretentious supermodel (I just came in from Milan where I was officially made the “&” in Dolce & Gabbana) – yet she has the class, the looks, and attitude of a fat phone sex operator working the graveyard shift servicing drunk bastards with nothing at the end of the night but their dick in their hand… Somebody went and called the usher in cause they couldn’t believe that it was a woman who was being so obnoxious (living in Bahrain, it’s usually a man who’s the obnoxious prick at a movie) – the cackle was asked to grab a hold of themselves but nothing came out of it. I’m praying for warts in your not too distant future. ok –that’s out of my system.. lady, you were a fucking bitch… ok, now it’s really gone…

Nonchalant moviegoers – I avoid these people like the plague… This is the person that when you tell them, “be there at 4:30- the movie starts then, they’ll show up at around 4:45, and you’re stuck waiting for them because you’ve got their ticket… or lets say you’re running late to the movies and there’s that nonchalant moviegoer who has to go and get popcorn and snacks.. These are the people that will tell you “don’t worry there’s at least 10 minutes of upcoming releases” – and then when you walk into the movie, you realize you’ve just missed the quintessential point to the film that would have answered so many questions you will have in the next 45 minutes to an hour…

Censoring – I understand Bahrain is a Muslim nation and that there might be children watching the film… nudity is forbidden, and I can respect that. But why are you going to rate the film if you’re just going to snip it up? Why must my intelligence and maturity be compromised because the censorship authority must dictate what I can and can’t watch at the movie theater? Many teens, growing up in high schools can probably teach the leading actors about to have a moment a thing or two. We can’t hide this stuff anymore from the kids; you might as well start talking to them about it before it’s too late… It’s not the pervert inside me that is complaining about the kissing (he is satisfied with copious amounts of pornography on the internet at the tip of his fingers) – it’s the moviegoer… I can’t tell you how many times the credits would roll around, and they’re the type of credits where they show you the actor or actress and have his/her name under. There would be a couple of shots of actors from the movie that I had no idea who they were… I’m talking about entire scenes cut – for what reason? I don’t know… If you consider us adults, then treat us like adults… just because you feel that religion doesn’t promote this, and the scene interferes with your view of religion then don’t go to the movie theater and don’t let your children go – the rest of us enjoy watching films and we want to see how the story unfurls…

Talkies - These people drive me mad… They love to talk during the movie… I can understand if you missed a line, or something hasn’t registered and you need to ask a clarification question – that’s cool… but if you’re expecting me to explain the plot twists or character development or a question that will require an answer of more than 5 words – that’s un-cool man, really un-cool… You can’t expect me to sit there and be your personal movie buff; watch it in silence and then ask your questions when the movie’s over, who knows, maybe you’ll figure it out for yourself. I can’t stand people that actually don’t have a problem with talking during the movie… I mean, what could have possibly happened from the time you were outside and could talk to your friend freely, to now, when you’re inside the movie theater? The cell phone is another enemy of mine at the cinema.. I mean honestly, you saw the sign – turn off the cell phone or keep it on mute… I understand the might be an emergency, but that’s what the vibrating alert is for right? Do you really think me and everyone else at the theater bought tickets so we can listen to your unbelievably uneventful life? Talking on the phone, is one of the most annoying things you might have to endure at a movie theater here... cut it out… If your friend calls, then don’t answer, leave your phone in the car, isn’t that a little liberating? For those 2 measly hours, no one can contact you?

Cinema Attire - One of the best thing about living in the US was being able to catch all the new releases when they came out.. Saturday afternoons were reserved for the cinema… What I always found strange is the way people dressed for the cinema… Casual, relaxed, people on dates dressed up smartly.. Then, I hate to admit it, you had the Arabs.. I’m not saying all Arabs, because there were many whom remained in their university sweatpants, jeans, sneakers, flipflops, and baseball cap… But there were some and I mean some of the women that would get decked out: pull out the latest thousand dollar handbag made by a Chinese French designer that doesn’t have a name (it’s pronounced more like a sound effect)… throw on their flashy designer jeans (the jeans that go out of their way to remind that they’re designer).. Makeup that would make you think MAC was having a “going out of business sale”.. Do you know how incredibly stupid that looked? A movie theater? Where it was going to be dark? Granted sometimes these women had gone out to dinner beforehand and had a need to get dressed up… The other women that really had no reason – dressed up because they wanted to be seen looking really “hot and trendy“ in the darkness of a movie theater – has that sunk in yet? The darkness of a movie theater. Anyways, you can dress anyway you feel like it, and if you could afford to drop that much cash on a new weekly wardrobe, then all the power to you… I just thought it was kinda odd that you’d get dolled up for the movies…

This whole thing started because of that cackle of disgusting, inconsiderate, ill-mannered and probably ho-ing group of women that should have read the synopsis on the Hitchhiker’s guide to the Galaxy before they decided to ruin the movie for everyone in the cinema… I still can’t tell if I liked the movie or not – I think I’m going to have to watch it again…

An exercise in 5 minute ranting…

Time: 9:28 AM

Do you ever wonder what the deal is with the Special Bahraini Mix? Everything we eat or drink, we have to have a Special Bahraini mix for it… you eat a Shawarma, there’s a Special Bahraini mix for the shawarma where they add Crystal hot sauce, extra chilies, and French Fries (but I love my Shawarma the way it’s normally served)… you want juice, then there’s the special Bahraini mix for juice, it’s the exact same cocktail, but its got one additional fruit making it the Special Bahraini mix – you can’t even tell the difference from the other juices, but at least you’re drinking the Special Bahraini mix… at my office they have filter coffee, instant coffee and tea… all three are mixed together along with coffee mate and some cardamom evaporated milk to come up with the Special Bahraini Mix - who decided all of this, I'm not really sure - but it's called the Special Bahraini Mix on my floor… You want to eat some grills (Mashwiyaat), there’s always some Special Bahraini Mix… The funny thing is whenever you go to one of these places and ask the guy what’s good, he’ll tell you, “you try Special Bahraini mix” – and then I say “yalla – bring for me Special Bahraini mix”… you know what I get after that? Chicken and beef on a skewer, or a shawarma over stuffed with beef and chicken.. This is the crafty work of some fella who wants to fool people by telling them this is the way Bahraini’s love their food – all hashed together and mixed up, it’s the Bahraini way – chicken, meat and cheese all cooked together … and the thing is, I get suckered into it all the time - why? I have no idea why, it just happens… I will still probably get suckered into the Special Bahraini mix the next time I feel a little peckish…

Time: 9:34 AM (so it took 6 minutes - sue me)

Bathroom habits of highly effective people…

Men Vs. Women
The Public Restroom debacle
The main divide between men and women when it comes to the bathroom is the perception of intended use. The men’s bathroom is streamlined and efficient – you never have to wait too long before you can take your slash. I attribute this efficiency to the fact that we can pee standing up, a huge plus – we’ve got our urinals and our stalls, no need for a nest, no need for squatting or anything like that… Unfortunately, this bonus of being able to be in and out tends to leave the bathroom in a state of disarray… We can pee standing up, but that doesn’t mean we can aim standing up or that we can throw the tissues in the trash, or even wash our hands. It’s the knowledge of how fast a trip to the bathroom can be for a man that makes him speed up through everything - we even avoid conversation because it’ll throw us off.. We want to get back to what we were doing before the bathroom..

Women, view the bathroom in a different light than men… See, they treat the facilities as a little safe haven for them… because of the fact that they require a stall, sometimes there’s more demand for stalls than actual supply, leading them to take advantage of this waiting time by reapplying makeup, adjusting their cleavage, farting (don’t deny it), and whatever else they need to do… Conversations are sparked up between complete strangers, cigarette smoking, stock tips – the bathroom is social gathering point for women… very interesting...

Maybe this has to do with our genetic hunter – gatherer makeup… Men were initially hunters, so they’re used to being quiet creeping around in places able to avoid conversation.. Women on the other hand, were gatherers, they needed to keep talking to keep busy and to scare away any frightening animals with their ‘chatter’… Maybe that’s why women talk so much in bathrooms and why men are so quiet… I don’t know.. Maybe I’m just pondering a useless thought…

Personal Bathrooms
A Man’s personal toilet has his mark on it… He probably has some dried toothpaste in the sink, his razor blade and shaving cream, one bottle of Shampoo and Conditioner (or he could just have a 2 in1 bottle), soap, and his basic and I mean basic toiletries, his clothes half in – half out of the laundry basket, a wet towel on the floor, probably some puddles of water from when he ran out of the shower because he remembered the toothpaste but not the toothbrush… The man usually has questionable hygiene concerns when it comes to “his” bathroom. Let’s face it, we’re a mess in the bathroom, our motto is: “If you can wipe it off then it’s clean.” But this is why a man rarely takes time to get ready (even pretty boys) – because there are no surprises: enter bathroom, shit, shower, shave, done (the order is interchangeable)… (I understand that men today have improved on this image and thanks to David Beckham and his metro-sexuality, men feel better about standing in line with their shampoo, conditioner, scrubber, rubber ducky, etc. – thanks 'Bu Brooklyn)

Women treat their personal bathrooms much MUCH differently… Before I go into detail allow me to remind you: Women have more utensils, instruments and equipment in their bathroom than you will ever handle in your life… they’ve got stuff to pluck, curl, straighten, highlight, accentuate, depress, pinch, tighten, loosen, shave, cut, sever, file, and some you will never learn about, never… don’t bother trying to understand it all, just don’t touch anything and you’ll minimize inflicting any pain on yourself… Women have shampoos conditioners for the different stages their hair goes through. Women have body washes, different scrubs for different parts of the body, moisturizers, face washes, cleansers, astringents, masks, wraps, paraffin wax, and so much more stuff… Women definitely do spend more time on grooming, and I have to say that: whatever you like… As much as I complain that women take so much time in the bathroom, I’d much have her feeling completely ready than me rushing her - you never want to rush a lady... The one thing that is inexcusable and I mean INEXCUSABLE is their hair getting clogged up in the shower drain – if you have ever had to extract this mess out of the drain then you know what disgusting mess I’m talking about… Ladies, for all your prepping and cleanliness, can’t you do something about the hair in the drain? Please? Oh and one more thing – what the hell is Patchouli anyways?

Pooping
Comfort zones: they are essential to pooping, some people have them and some don’t. Some people only feel comfortable with their own bathroom where they have total control of the environment. Some people need to mark their territory and feel comfortable with the place, it could take a number of visits to the 14th floor bathroom before you can get the right amount of privacy, comfort and solitude to poop right… I don’t need to tell you that when you need to go, you need to go, and that’s when your survival skills come into play - can you build a nest out of toilet paper if need be? Other people might go and locate the nearest oasis to them… maybe, it’s the men’s bathroom located by the main function hall at a 5 star hotel. Maybe it’s a secret bathroom stall on the 7th floor that no one uses. Maybe it’s your friend’s apartment not too far from work… ok now I really feel like George Costanza with his knowledge of the cleanest public restrooms in Manhattan… My problem with the comfort zone is that I poop in silence at home - there’s no one barging into the bathroom or making any noises three feet away from me… so how do you expect me to poop in comfort? Other people are out of the closet poopers, they go to the bathroom with that newspaper under their arm and everyone knows exactly what’s going to happen there… out of the closet pooping is quite liberating since you’re not constricted by any silly mental issues… I don’t want to make this generalization because it’s not right, but it’s too funny to not mention – someone once told me that the Germans build their toilets so that there’s a protruding piece of porcelain your poop hits before it reaches water… They say the Germans do this because they like to look at their poop, y’know to inspect it… “ooh there goes that corn that I had with my lunch” – do you inspect your poop? It’s all right if you do… Reading and pooping go hand in hand if you’re a guy… I don’t know why but women don’t like to read as much on the toilet.. Men? Hell we’ll do anything, read, crossword (I have a mug filled with pens by my throne), shave, brush our teeth – to us, we consider it multitasking to women, they consider it weird…

Men and their Privacy
Going back to my ‘men in bathrooms’ point and borrowing a little from Dave Barry, I’d like to bring your attention to the urinal location quandary, a very interesting observation/experiment…. Lets say there are five urinals in a bathroom (A-E). A guy walks into the bathroom looking to take a slash, he will immediately move to one of end urinals, (A or E, lets say A in this case) because he doesn’t want anyone next to him.. Someone else walks into to pee, now he sees 4 free urinals, yet due to his male nature, I’m willing to bet he’ll take the farthest Urinal from A, Urinal E… This is because there’s plenty of space between him and the dude at Urinal A. Now lets assume someone else walks into the toilet and there’s only 5 urinals and both on either end are occupied (A & E), this leaves pisser #3 with B, C, or D – but if you haven’t guessed it, he’s going to choose C because then he’s leaving a Urinal on either side as a buffer zone between the other two guys on either side of him… If another guy walks in to take a leak, then his arrival disrupts the pattern and he needs to squeeze in and take B or D – OR… he’ll use a stall or wait till someone else finishes to go back an enjoy at least a 1 urinal buffer zone. It just has to do with this privacy issue, but if you can keep a urinal buffer zone, you will always do it, even if it means having to bypass a free urinal for one a couple of steps away to satisfy your buffer requirement. If you’re a guy, pay attention to this bathroom urinal law, it really works, why? I don’t know but notice next time nature calls, the urinal buffer zone is essential to private peeing… There are some catches to men’s urinal law: if the urinal stinks, has vomit in it, it just too disgusting to use, then you will forgo the buffer zone for a clean place to pee…

Final Words
I can’t believe I actually wrote something about this… not really something you normally talk about, but something we all think about… I guess I’m just thinking aloud… maybe I should stay quiet..

Argentine Asado (Good Global Eating)

One of the best barbeques I’ve been fortunate enough to sample has to be an Argentinean Asado… I know this is already going to inflate their ready to burst egos (che boludo), but it’s true, dem Argies really know how to cook meat. Through the guidance of some cool gauchos I’ve come to understand how to pick the choicest cuts, the secrets of doneness, taming the flame, feeling & feeding the fuel, patience, enjoying the moment, and letting that smell of cooked meat waft through your nostrils and just linger there…

A couple of notes on Argentine Grilling… Have you ever inspected a raw steak close up? Do you see those white lines running across the meat, that’s actually intra-muscular fat called marbling. “Classy” Continental cooking always wants you to pick steaks with even marbling, because they believe the cut will be tender and as the fat melts while you cook the steak, it’ll naturally baste the meat for you… Argentine cooking does take marbling into consideration but is more about the tender meaty sirloin & tenderloin… Another very peculiar note of mention is the way the Argies like their ribs.. They actually have the butcher cut through the bone and produce strips of ribs.. So you’ll have a long strip of: meat, then a piece of bone, then meat, then bone, and so on and so forth. There’s no marinade except olive oil, salt and pepper – this is because you're meant to serve your meat with Chimmichurri (will explain) sauce. I like to eat my steaks with wholegrain mustard, maybe you do too... Bread is usually on the table to make you a sandwich from the bbq if you like, and the veggies are limited to a couple of simple salads… The emphasis is on the meat, the salads are just there to cleanse your palette between the different types of meat… Empanadas (Turnovers) are also served at Asados (but I'll have another post for that, discussing the debate between the corn flour or regular flour empanoolees)...

Chefs will always tell you only flip the steak once, or you can’t do this or that, or don’t prod… hogwash.. That’s just people telling you what to do… There are some basic principles that you need to adhere to, but everything else is relative and open to tweaking. One of the main aspects of grilling is that you need two heat sections on your grill, direct and indirect heat. You want a section of the grill where you can sear and properly cook your meat on the outside (direct) and a place on the grill where your meat can cook from the inside (indirect)… apart from that, flipping more than once (although I try to limit my flipping), checking for doneness, voodoo dances in front of the flame, that’s all optional…

The Argies don’t really care for bbq marinades and condiments, they have their own majestic sauce: Chimmichurri. This sauce is what does it for me, the entire meal revolves around the adaptability of this sauce, able to go with: bread, sausages, ribs, steak, whatever you like… Basically, take a lot of parsley, chop it up, add vinegar (white or balsamic), oregano, salt pepper, top it off with olive oil, mix it up and then let it sit… Don’t be afraid to experiment with types of vinegar or other spices to add.. Just don’t deviate from “a lot of parsley, vinegar and olive oil” and you’ll be fine…

Once you have your fire going (basic rule: hand needs to 6 inches from the fire for a couple of seconds max), and the sangria is flowing then you start the Asado… First up are the appetizers: Chorizo or any other sausages you prefer. Never forget to puncture the Chorizo with a fork to let the grease inside the sausage seep out.. There have been cases where the chorizo has exploded and sent hot sausage grease all over the cooking space, so watch out (I think that’s the Argentinean boy scout motto when it comes to grilling, I’ve heard that 4 different times from 4 different people – it’s like look both ways before you cross the street, except with the Argies, it’s fork the chorizo before you throw it on the grill)… grill up the sausages and serve them anyway you want: sliced, whole… I like to slice them down the center lengthwise, tear off a piece of bread lay on some chimmichurri, making myself a sandwich affectionately known as “Chori-pan.”

Next up is Provoleta… ok I believe this is just Provolone Cheese thrown on the grill… Basically, layer thick slices of Provolone cheese in a skillet or one of those little aluminum trays, dribble a little olive oil and some oregano and throw it on the grill… the heat will melt the cheese and then you take your bread and scoop up the melted cheese and enjoy… So simple, yet so delicious…

Enough with the teasing appetizers… Let’s move on the Carne… first up are the ribs… Just like I mentioned above, the ribs are cut lengthwise through the bone with around a 3 inch width… You throw these long strips on the grill and just wait… Thanks to my carnivorous little sister, I’ve taken a huge liking to ribs, but served the American way, where you eat the meat off the bone and have the whole rack drowning in bbq sauce… Honestly, the Asado ribs look really appetizing because you’ve got some cooked meat then a piece of bone, then some more cooked meat, it just looks cool.. With the Chimmichurri spooned on top, euuuf…

The steak is the piece de resistance of the Asado… The Boludos do nothing to their steak except rub it with salt and pepper. The GF and I developed the “slice mini pockets into the steak and stuff them with chunks of garlic” technique – a garlic burst of flavor – which totally works but you can do it anyway you want. Whatever way you opt to cook your meat, follow these rules: Leave your meat on the direct heat section of the grill to let it sear from the outside and then flip… Don’t let it totally cook from the outside; you just want to get some nice grill marks and seal it, trapping the juices inside the meat… Move the steak to an indirect heat section on the grill, to let it slowly cook from the inside… As a rule, I cook all my steaks medium (middle of the line) for people; I’m not going to tell you that Medium rare is the way to go (even though it really is), you can have your steak anyway you like it… but if you tell me you want it well done, I’m still going to give it to you medium – believe me it tastes better than a dried steak… I digress, anyways you’ve just cooked your steak to the desired level of doneness… what now? Well now you wait… the outside is perfectly seared with nice grill marks, the inside has slowly cooked, but the juices are floating inside the steak.. You need to let the steak rest a bit (around 3-5 minutes from taking it off the grill), just to let the juices settle, the cooking process slow down and allow the meat to adjust to its new life as a steak. Once you assemble the steak on your plate, take a couple of spoonfuls of chimmichurri and lay it on… Slice through that steak revealing the different colors and degrees of cooking… the outside is nicely done and grilled, while the center is pink and soft, with the juice from the steak trickling onto your plate. The chimmichurri sauce is just the right accompaniment to the meat – vinegar, parsley and olive oil: it beats any steak sauce any day…

Savoring every bite, you slowly continue to devour your steak, spooning on more chimmichurri, and having that “ohh wow, this is so perfect right now “ expression… That’s what I love about steak, if done right, the meat does on a number on your taste buds that can forever change your views on life.. You carnivores know exactly what I’m talking about

More meat is grilled, more wine is poured, more laughs are shared and more people relax. Communal cooking is always fun, and with the right drivers – you’ve got the right evening. You don’t understand how many good nights have all started off with a trip to the butcher to buy some steak, or dividing up the responsibilities of the Asado…

One of the few moments a man really feels like a man is when he’s standing in front of the fire with the dead carcass of an animal he’s going to devour cooked by his own hands…

If you want to top off the evening in true Argie Fashion: then you must indulge your sweet tooth in Alfajores Cookies... these babies are individually wrapped creme filled cookies and one is usually enough to keep you at bay... The chocolate flavored ones are pretty delicious, but I need to go with the Dulce De Leche as my personal favorite - woooooooweeeeeee, now that's an evening I could definitely do with...

Ptown, Massachusetts

A fishing village comprising of Portuguese immigrants, a rest stop for Pirates, a famous art colony with it’s picturesque landscapes, and today’s Gay summer capital of America. Located at the tip of Cape Code in Massachusetts, Provincetown retains its place as a major part of American history – from every single aspect…

You’re probably wondering why the hell is he writing about a gay town? Well let me tell you, I have a close relationship with this gay town starting off with a trip down with my family many years ago and continuing almost every summer till I left to come back here… Vacationing one summer with my family, we ended up on Massachusetts’ summer getaway: Cape Cod… This is just a beautiful cape that extends into the Atlantic Ocean, filled with beach towns, summer life, ice cream parlors, just like it is in the movies… You’ve got little cottages spread out, the Kennedy’s and their summer compound in Hyannis, antiquing expeditions that could go on for days, mouthwatering seafood, sand dunes, beaches, and that coastal region feel to the place. The Cape has its year round inhabitants, but the summer months is when the seasonal dwellers come, businesses thrive off tourists, and life is busy… Anyways, back to my story: Bahraini family on Cape Cod, sticking out like a sore thumb, mom’s busy visiting antique stores, buying woman’s suffrage plates and memorabilia (you rock mami)… My dad’s checking out artwork, antiques and pocket watches to add to his collection. And there we were: 4 kids ranging from grade school to college student, just enjoying being on holiday… Asking around, some tourist center tells us we need to check out Provincetown, so we pile up into our rented van (I told you we stuck out like a sore thumb) and off we go… driving up to Ptown, you can actually see the coastline and get a feel of the “map view” of the place, sand dunes and little cottages adorning the coastline. Driving up to a public parking lot, we encounter two men holding hands and strolling by.. My mother, being the slightly traditional person she is, and for being a Bahraini woman never to have visited gaytown USA, wonders why they’re holding hands (Mind you, this is all happening sometime in the very early 90s – very early, when homosexuality wasn’t as publicly tolerated as it is now)… My brother then reassures her that “this is America, it’s not Bahrain – you will see men acting affectionate towards each other, it’s normal”… We park the car, and start making our way to the town center… Along the walk, we encountered more men holding hands, women holding hands, groups of people together, men wearing sarongs coming from the beach, kisses being exchanged… We apprehensively made our way to the town center, cursing the tourist center guide that recommended Ptown to us...

The cozy feel of Commercial street is unrivalled, small narrow streets with shops of all kinds with people walking in and out of trendy designer shops, galleries, fetish-o-ramas, bakeries, everything… We soon find out that not only are we sticking out like sore thumbs, we’re a minority in a minority’s safe haven.. Arab family in a Gay town? The next 30 minutes of lost wanderings were filled with moments of “What the hell are we doing here? Why are those two men kissing? SO MANY GAY PEOPLE! Is that a man or a woman in the evening gown?” After our initial freak out and with a little help from the tourist guidebook, we soon discover we have entered Provincetown, where Gaydom reigns… Not to have wasted an hour in driving up here, my parents decide to tromp along the streets of Ptown and see what all this fuss is about… It wasn’t long before the ‘rents discovered a bunch of starving artists and the wonderful world of extremely beautiful and very affordable artwork… Galleries galore, street performers, weird shops, restaurants, we ended up having the best time a straight family could possibly have… Heading back to our rented holiday abode, my parents made a pledge that they will visit Ptown every year to purchase their paintings, dine at the most delicious restaurants, and be around the insanity and the fun…

Soon after that, every summer we made our way to Boston, my parents would rent a car just to drive 3 hours each way to Provincetown to enjoy their little gay gem in the western hemisphere… We went on whale watches, learned about the pirates, my mother would buy bags and bags of saltwater taffy, walks on the beaches, taking in the quaintness of it all, strolls on their narrow streets, taking pictures of the beautiful cottages, visiting the different monuments… everything… I’m not saying we didn’t see some weird shit, because every single member of my family can tell you of something totally weird they saw in that little town – but it was all about the experience, not about infringing on someone’s personal space or freedom… We all built a lasting relationship with that town, and it really helped us with accepting people for who they are… My parents were so in love with Ptown, that they actually started inviting their friends from Bahrain who were visiting in the area… (Having had a couple of their kids study in Massachusetts, my parents have become seasoned New Englanders, they know where to take you for this and that, shopping, sight seeing, good Vermont Cheddar, everything)… The mistake they made is sometimes insisting on bringing their friends (and sometimes, less open minded friends) with them to Ptown… I don’t have to tell you that it wasn’t that enjoyable…

We weren’t the only people to fall in love with Ptown… Apart from the fact that some of the greatest artists in the 20th century used to hang out there, Khalil Gibran used to party there during the 50s, Al Jafee (a cartoonist from mad magazine) lived there, and so many more that I can’t seem to recollect right now… The year round residents may have totaled a couple of thousand, but during the summer, that town had over 50 thousand residents. This was the Gay capital of the East coast: you had some of the most successful and talented people living in this one little town in the summer… Artists, musicians, chefs, Thespians (got ya), so many people living there every summer… Think about it, the best clothes you wear, the most interesting food you eat, the artwork you admire: the people that made that possible for you to experience have their own little getaway… Now imagine visiting that cultural center. Now imagine that cultural center is a beach town…

The other side to Ptown that I didn’t know if I liked or not was the looks you sometimes got from the gay community… It was like, “Hey you straight asshole, you’ve got the entire world to go stomping around, can’t we have our own space?” My reply to that was, “Fuck you Nancy, I’ve had a relationship with this town too. I’ve seen stores open and shut down over the years, I’ve swam in these waters, I’ve taken pictures and enjoyed these streets, I’ve done your afternoon tea parties that go on till dawn… we’ve made friends with residents only to find out they’ve died of AIDS the following year when we’ve come to visit. You sit here and don’t want discrimination, but now that the tables are turned you have to discriminate?” Sometimes I don’t blame some of them for feeling that way, but that’s not going to stop me from enjoying that place...

For those of you comfortable with your sexuality and are not fazed out by people doing whatever they want to do, I highly recommend Ptown… it’s a wonderful little summer town, with a great vibe rivaling some of the best cities on this planet…

New Bracelet: “You’re an Idiot”

Ok so Lance “I’ve seen Sheryl Crow nekid” Armstrong, decides to start off this new fad with these yellow plastic bracelets… Inscribed on the bracelet, as you already know is “LIVESTRONG”…. See Lance had testicular cancer and beat it (punning), so he forms this foundation to support survivors of testicular cancer… He wore the bracelet when he won the Tour De France, and pretty soon everyone started wearing them.. For USD 1, you too could own a yellow, fashionable article and still show people that, “Hey guys, I’m sympathetic towards testicular cancer survivors… and I’m cool like Lance.”

So what happens next? The world is awash in yellow bracelets: Athletes, Actors, businessmen, students, soccer moms, doctors, everyone was wearing this yellow bracelet… At first the bracelet carried a lot of meaning, it symbolized beating a horrible disease, it meant pushing yourself like lance did to win another Tour De France and break a world record… Pretty soon, everyone and their mother is wearing live strong bracelets, they even began floating around the profiteering market for USD 9 instead of USD 1…

It was not long before some other group gets the idea of getting pink bracelets for breast cancer, and then blue ones for some other disease, then black and white to stamp out racism, and then green for the rainforest, and then just plain white to end poverty, and then magenta for men who like pink, and then brown color to support diarrhea (IBS) sufferers … This bracelet phenomenon has just taken the planet by storm – a very tacky and unoriginal storm…

Walking around, you’ll see a bunch of people wearing these stupid bracelets… support, donate do whatever you want to do: I’ll commend that, but to walk around like you even care about supporting this cause? Please… We can spot you for the fake poser that you really are… This is not fashion, this is a fad, a very very overdone fad.. it’s served it’s useful life… Friends exchange them with other friends, people who can’t find the real plastic buy the fake ones.. The current thing is that you release these little plastic bands for any occasion.. Liverpool in Istanbul for the Champions League Final (sorry rf) - they need to release a bracelet. Lebanon and their new democracy – lets release some bracelets. Mike Tyson retired, lets release a bracelet to commemorate and charge people. What started off as a good idea to raise money for a worthy cause, has turned into a walking advertisement and a silly bandwagon way to make money… It’s gotten so bad that I actually saw a black bracelet the other day with the “Playa” inscribed on it… Why would anyone want to wear a bracelet like that? If you want to wear something on your hand, why can’t you go find one of those handmade bracelets? At least those weren’t made out of a mold…

It started off with you laughing at people unaware of the cause they were supporting with their bracelet – so then you’d have to criticize and ask “you bought this bracelet, but you don’t even know that you’ve contributed to support testicular cancer? What kind of a moron are you?” Then the moron wises up and then can state “umm yeah, it supports testicular cancer survivors – Lance Armstrong and shit.. Livestrong.”

Teenyboppers and their fascination with overdoing it to the extreme… now it’s cool if you show off all your bracelets.. so people are sporting around 3-5 different colored bracelets.. Now I’ll give you props over this whole bracelet issue if you were supporting Gay rights and the different colored bracelets on your arm symbolized the Gay rainbow… Otherwise, whomever came up with the idea of wearing more than one bracelet, should have to wear a t-shirt stating him to be the idiot responsible for this stupid piece of plastic on your hand…

There needs to be some accountability for this stupid fad…

If you do truly support these causes, then good for you… fight the good fight… I’m just poking fun at the people who’ve decided to take a good idea for a good cause and squeeze the profit and reveal it for what it really is: an expiring fad…

Jordanian Mansaf (Good Global Eating)

I’ve met a lot of interesting people from all four corners of the globe and one of the subjects that always comes up in conversations is food. Different cultures could have different flavors and different traditions, or maybe they have the same dishes with the same ingredients tweaked ever so slightly to represent different tastes. I’ve been fortunate enough to sample a multitude of ethnic foods, from adventures in gastronomy to global comfort food, but the end result is always the same: a satisfied smile, a full belly and a good nap on the couch… Due to the hospitality of a wonderful Jordanian family, an Army of friends was invited to enjoy an absolutely delicious traditional nomadic dish called: Mansaf…

First allow me to explain the dish to you: Mansaf is a traditional dish comprised of three main ingredients: lamb, rice, and goat’s milk “Jameed El-Kasih”. The dish is normally eaten during the wintertime because it’s so heavy and filling, but that wasn’t going to stop me from enjoying this experience. Picture a huge round serving tray lined with Sh’rak bread (a thin Arabic bread).. On top of that bread, a mountain of whey-drenched rice is assembled only to be outshined by tender chunks of cooked lamb ready to fall off the bone, and generously topped off with toasted almonds- leaving you with a pyramid of food to devour. To the side of that dish, is the clincher for the entire meal: the goat’s milk or Jameed… Jameed is goat’s milk/ yogurt that is used to cook the lamb and then poured into a bowl to be served with the dish separately. I know what some of you are thinking,, Goat’s milk? The sauce is what’s used to cook the meat, it’s what you ladle on top of your plate, without it, you might not as well try the dish… (my own personal note: I think Jameed has Tryptophan in it: the amino acid found in turkey meat and laban (buttermilk) that makes people go to sleep)…

Mansaf day preparation (before): Thank god I had the day off, because there is no way I could have gone back to work after a meal like Mansaf. My internal weekend alarm clock woke me up just in time to take a shower and get ready… I stretched, limbered up, wore something comfortable and made my way to the meal…

My hunger and I arrived at the lunch ready, as had everybody else… people were making jokes about how they hadn’t eaten in days, others were asking questions about the dish, while the rest just patiently waited till we were all ushered into the dining room…

The dining room had a number of tables spread about with each table adorning a Huge tray of Mansaf… The women, with their delicate eating habits were provided with their own table to be spared the Neanderthal eating behavior of the men… Scanning the room for the perfectly situated table, I made my way to the table with no chairs where two Jordanian cohorts quickly briefed me on the traditional rules to enjoying the dish: Mansaf is to be eaten standing up, no plates: everyone eats from the same serving dish, and no cutlery except your hands “Bil Khams”. Not to pass up on the experience, I took my spot as we drew up our imaginary borders on the tray, everyone establishing where “his” section was going to be… And there we had it, 3 Jordanians, 3 Bahrainis and a Chinese Egyptian (I know, I know, it’s a long story) ready for their meal…

AND THEY’RE OFF!! The Sauce was ladled over people’s sections on the tray, sleeves were rolled up, a bowl of sliced onions in vinegar, and off we were… tearing off chunks of lamb with your fingers, scooping up some rice soaked in the Jameed and shoveling it all into your mouth to be surprised by how the simplicity of ingredients enhances the delectable flavors in your mouth… wow, wow wow… Some people spooned ladles of sauce on the rice, some gave up and picked up cutlery, some had to sit down… But we persevered… more lamb was torn off its bone, more rice was shoveled and then someone struck gold: the bread at the bottom… Soaking up the flavor of the rice and meat and getting soggy from the Jameed, the bread at the bottom of the tray was a hidden surprise to us all… Two cups were placed at our table, and one of the Jordanians on the table ladled some Jameed sauce into the cup and took a sip… A cultural tradition that I passed on, due to the diminishing space in my belly… I was focused on the tender meat that melted in my mouth… the rice and sauce that got my fingers all messy… the incredible feeling of satisfaction with every single bite – national foods carry a lot of history to them… You immediately understood the history of Mansaf, a nomadic dish: very delicious, very filling, very simple, and very nutritious.

One by one, people began to leave their seats/ eating areas… It looked like packs of Hyenas ravaged the trays.. Everyone walked out of the dining room with a satisfied drowsy look… the couch looked so inviting, but we were too many people eyeing up too little couches. I understood why the dish is mainly served during the cooler seasons, the food just rested in you stomach… Someone turned to me and mentioned cement… if cement tasted this good, then I’ll have to build my house on a full stomach. The only way I could properly describe this feeling is that Thanksgiving turkey day stuffed feeling (Hence the Tryptophan reference).. You’re content, full, drowsy, slaphappy, yet unable to move: the only thing on your mind is a nap and how good that would be… It wasn’t just me, everyone around me had that content “a nap would suit me just fine right now” look… I’m telling you, Mansaf will induce sleep into the most defiant of insomniacs; it should be registered in the journal of medicine as a possible cure…

Once our immediate resting period ended, and we smoked our after meal cigarettes, our hosts continued to spoil us with rounds of tea, coffee, and dessert – until we really had to say “please stop.” And there I was, propping myself up on the couch, trying to adjust my crooked satisfied smile and make conversation with people sharing the same look as me… I felt bad for the rest who had to go to back work after lunch, because for the rest of us with our day off – we could quietly head back home and do nothing for the rest of the day.

We thanked our hosts for a wonderful lunch and matching hospitality, and we all went our separate ways to a comfortable seat in front of the tv, a bed, a couch, maybe even the floor with a couple of blankets… Them Jordanians really know how to cook their food… I can only hope that you’ll be fortunate enough to try this delicacy, because this is an experience you cannot miss… well, unless you’re a vegetarian…

Things that drive me nuts… Part umpteen…

The smell of feet in the sugar tin at the kitchenette at my office (some of the “not bothered by hygiene” employees like to use the same wet spoon to mix their creamer and then add their sugar to their tea or coffee – leaving a rotting cheesy foot scent - full scale toe jam) – thanks to my shifty fingers at Corporate coffee house, I’ve managed to replenish my personal sugar stockpile. The fact that Jan burger only opens at 8PM. The fact that Jan Burger have inconveniently located themselves in impossible to get to locations. Turning around in at my desk on a beautiful day to enjoy my sea view and seeing someone jet skiing or enjoying the sea – bastards, the lot of ya. The afternoon sun that goes right through my window and hits my screen blinding me, and then me having to explain why I’m wearing sunglasses at 5pm… The fact that now’s not the time to eat prawns in Bahrain cause you can get food poisoning and no one reminded me – my poor exit points… The fact that shops will have “incredible sales” yet still charge you 20 dinars for a pair of converse sneakers on sale – when they paid less than 128 UAE dirhams for them (that’s about 12.8 dinars – you should’ve taken the reduced sale price sticker off the sneaker you dumbasses- Yeah we all know who you are- stop ripping people off). The fact that I’ve discovered a cache of ultra-hip t-shirts online that wont accept a Bahraini credit card or shipping to Bahrain – COME ON STEVE- RECONSIDER… That Mohammed Salmeen has consistently let me down – I thought you had heart, every time you play, we disappoint… The damn ticking noise in the car… I’ve been continually lied to for the past year and a half and this came from someone I loved… Tabriz grills in Jidhaffs has the best grilled lamb chops and I’ve yet to try them… I have no summer plans… The fact that Chelsea FC have managed to flex their muscles all over the footballing world and the English FA have done nothing about it – yeah you pussies – up yours! The fact that I cannot find a decent pizza in Bahrain. The fact that I just lost 5 years worth of financial information cause I didn’t save – DAMN YOU TECHNOLOGY!!!… So many things – I can go on for hours….

bumper steeekers

One of the other fads in Bahrain that I've totally missed out on is the bumber sticker craze... Ok let me rephrase, it's not just bumper stickers, they're stickers all over a car, on the rear windsheild, side of the car, front of the car... you get the drift...

Driving around you see these minibuses: small white Japanese minibus with curtains on the back side windows, something dangling from the rearview mirror... the dude drives a bus that he rents out to drive people around, so he's got this huge advertisment consisting of his number and his name... I don't find this weird, I just love reading the names: Bu Hashim, el Jasmi, Sayed mahmood... I just like reading the name cause then you immediately assume it's el Jasmi driving the bus and you just want to honk your horn and say hello.

Riceboys... If i am getting this term right, it is a poke towards people who take their Japanese cars and fix them up to look "riced out"... Anyways, stuck in traffic again you might come across a ricemobile... something really slick, a honda taken to the max, real low, dynamite rims, a scary kit - or you might come across a wannabe rice... I'm talking about the poser in his sunny or corolla, with nothing done to the car, except a multitude of racing stickers plastered all over the car... I'm mean honestly brah, why would you even have a NOS sticker on your car if you don't have it,, what's the point?

My favorite stickers are the ones on celebrity characters... Che, bob, and the hero of my childhood cartoon adnan wa leena (future boy conan), absee... I would love to know where they sell those stickers.. I get so flustered when I see someone showing off Che's image - do you even know what the man believed in? boludo... Sometimes I wonder, if he were alive, how would he feel that someone was making money off his face on t-shirts, posters and stickers...

People go to the extent of naming their cars... I really appreciate the bahraini's love with his motor vehicle.. The guy just falls in love with his mode of transportation that he gives it a name... some of the names are just hillarious.. There's el anood, azzizah, el khateer, el ajeeb, Fallllaah, nite ryder, etc. Just great humor, you can't deny it...

This has nothing to do with bumper stickers but it's also worth mentioning... commercial establishments sometimes advertise on their cars. Some companies dont bother with making sure the advertisement is edited. There was this maintenance company that serviced fridges and gas terminals? (I'm just recounting what was on the back of the truck).. the advert said "FRIGEN GAS" - It was just too funny thinking frigging gas...

This one takes the cake for me... More religiously fervent people feel that they need to make a public statement by thanking god... Being with the new century you can buy these stickers that thank God in Arabic and in English.. The Arabic phrase for it is Al hamdulilah - thanks be to God. The graphic in arabic is stretched out enough to make space for the english translation : Thank Godness... I honestly don't know if it's grammatically correct or not, I've never really heard the phrase before, but I'm not here to discount it. You know when you read something that isn't normally in your vocabulary.. Thank Godness or Goodness? I've never heard of Godness, what do they mean?

I love getting amused on the road.. A little humor can go a long way, and when el Jasmi drives by, give him a hello honk on your horn, he'll honk back and you'll have a laugh.. totally worth it - trust me..

Honeymoon Hiatus

dear reader: May 2005 has been a fucking killer...

First I get attacked by a gang of killer manatees.. don't worry everything's fine, they just wanted my wallet and my costa coffee drink coupon... bastards, I was one drink away from a free coffee as well..

Then my superiors misread the sign on my head that says "overworked underpaid employee thinking about going postal" for "Sadomasochist - who enjoys being defecated on" - a common misconception... Anyways, after being flogged with reports, ratios and numbers, I've decided to return to tell you that I shall be back with some more stupid nonsensical ramblings sometime soon. Stay Tuned..

Finally, I have a confession to make, I've been sleeping around with another blog.. her name is www.qadam.blogspot.com, she's a gemini, and I think I'm in love. Qadam is blog for football fans by football fanatics - a place to discuss anything and everything relating to the world of football... We're trying to get different fans from all over the world to contribute their views on footie (random mo, shoot me an email when you get a chance if you're interested).. Anyways, check out the blog if you like, we've just started and are hoping to provide fans with some interesting conspiracy theories, analysis, and just some good old biased team talk...

so that's all I really have to say...

ciao for now

a 20something something

Maybe you’ve already passed this moment, maybe it hasn’t hit you yet… but the 20something somethings can be a difficult moment in anyone’s life.. You’ve graduated college and then it hits you.. What the hell am I supposed to do now? For the past 3-4 years you nestled yourself in the safe arms of your university taking your required courses and your rinky dink classes (don’t you miss your rinky dink classes? Finger painting, the history of cheese, resurrection of dead languages, etc.)… Then you graduate, and then start thinking “fuck… what now? Job? No job?” Your friends, the ones who properly planned for life after college already had their jobs lined from their internships or their interviewing and lets face the facts taking all those finance related courses really paid off, should’ve listened to them instead of groofin wif dem Rastafarians… So then you do whatever every other unemployed person with no idea of what kind of career they want does, you start going to interviews, trying to sell yourself to recruiters at random companies. You’re trying to do whatever you can, checking out sales positions, applying for desk jobs, internet, job postings, anything. Then there’s the unattainable job that you spot, the one that requires all those years of experience but will have you traveling all round the world and pays out the right salary to afford that sports car you’ve always wanted – so you do it, send your resume and cover letter hoping that there’s a glimmer of a chance that the HR person is inebriated and they call you immediately for an interview. But you’re not getting any attention cause you’re an entry level punching bag, and the best you can hope for is a entry level punching bag position… They look you over and over, you have no bargaining power over them, you bring nothing to the table, except a fine understanding of finger painting - they give you one look and tell you welcome aboard…

And there you go, from recent grad, to entry level tea boy (some of the best producers in the music industry started off making tea in the studio)… making copies, trying to learn, hoping to be a good enough gopher that someone will notice your effort.. Ohh and believe me they will notice your effort.. they notice your work so much that they begin dumping everything on you, freeing up their schedule up for golf… But that’s just your work life.. You’ve got something in the bank and you can blow it off anyway you want… It’s a job, and this is what you could expect from your first job, getting bitch slapped like you’re name is Chantilly Sugar – deal with it… So you learn, you listen, you pick everything up and use it to your advantage; now you’ve got something to offer and it will help you in your next job.. or you can be your own personal hero and bust out of that job you hate like a true outlaw. I am a firm believer in the notion that you should have at least one fiery resignation in your lifetime – telling that asshole boss off. Don’t lose it like Jerry Maguire, but something that will leave a lasting effect in their minds including yours – cause for that one moment you didn’t give a shit about money or your future, you put your needs in the forefront and that’s what really builds character…

Ok so you’ve sorted out your professional life, now what? Your personal life, needs a new direction – cartoon network and cereal isn’t going to cut it anymore… You get your friends who immediately start thinking about settling down, new job – new life, might as well change it all and get married… So people hurriedly get themselves tangled in the blissful web of matrimony, and you start sweating… it starts off early or it could’ve just started, but a friend of yours gets married, and pretty soon people start giving you the winks and nudges… you look away at first, but more and more people you know start getting married and you think “should I be considering this?” maybe you should, it’s your life, I’m just telling you of the pressures you could possibly face… Whatever you decide, make sure it’s your decision... It’s ok to fall in love and make a mistake, but don’t do it cause you’re forced into it or cause you’re bored with your life… So love conquers all, or you’re sitting there just focusing on the other aspects of your life… Another aspect of married life is children… you know you’re growing up when you have a bbq with your friends and a little toddler shows up.. Your friends have kids or they’re expecting,,, should you sweat a little more? I don’t know it’s up to you, but this will be another issue you will tackle… End of the day it’s not your kid, you can play with them until they shit themselves – then you give the little one back to mommy or daddy…

Being a productive member of society also comes with it’s own hitches… You’re now expected to follow a certain path… you can’t run around causing mayhem and havoc like you did just recently… In your previous life, you didn’t know what the term weekend really meant, cause lets face it, everyday was a weekend, you decided whether you were going to wake up today or not, or whether a 72 hour videogame marathon was doable… No no no, your weekends now are sacred, the one chance you have to unwind and let it all go down… no need to shave, bathe, dress nicely.. You can pull a homer and hang out in your underwear all day if you like.. It’s your weekend… Maybe you’ll come to the realization as the years have rolled on by, you’ve started to lose whatever you had in common with your friends.. Maybe you’ll make new friends, maybe you’ll come to realize that the people you have as friends will forever be there and help you when you need it the most…

Changes my friend, this period of time is all about changes and uncertainty… There is no clear path for you, it’s like driving in fog, you’re on the right road, you’re getting there, but you need to stay focused on what’s immediately ahead of you and you can speed up if you like, but that could lead to an accident, or not... Don’t sweat it too much, there’s no need to be this worried, life always works out and if it doesn’t, then you make it work out.. That’s why you have a university degree right?

During this period, you will meet other 20somethings that have done much better than you, and others that are doing much worse than you… the point of this whole experience is to understand that this is life… people will be better than you, make more money, have better jobs, seem like they’re on the accelerated path to success; and people will be much worse off than you wishing they could have your dead end job with no benefits. If you stop to watch other people, then you’re allowing yourself to get left behind… focus on yourself and live your life the way you want to live it – just don’t bug out, the universe is not conspiring to make your life miserable…

OCD.. OCD.. OCD.. OCD.. OCD..

Everyone has them; I’ve got a few. They don’t really take over my life, but they are more like little quirks in my life… I checked out the obsessive-compulsive disorder foundation and got this from their site, ” In OCD, it is as though the brain gets stuck on a particular thought or urge and just can't let go. People with OCD often say the symptoms feel like a case of mental hiccups that won't go away. OCD is a medical brain disorder that causes problems in information processing. It is not your fault or the result of a "weak" or unstable personality.” The website states that an OCD can range from a little background noise to something taking over your life… I just thought I’d dissect the few common ones that I’ve noticed in myself and the people around me… Now I wont go so far as to calling them obsessive compulsive because they don’t slow me down and occupy my time, but they are the little quirks that really make me the neurotic person that I am… I’m not a doctor and if you’re a doctor or studying to be one forgive me because I’m going to call them OCDs (just like the way it sounds)…

The biggest OCD I have is locking things and double-checking if I’ve locked them… This usually happens with my car, apartment, etc… I’d drive to where I’m supposed to be… get out of the car, lock it (doesn’t matter if it’s by remote or actually locking the car through the door) and then walk off to wherever I’m going… about 10 seconds into the walk, I’d stop and then ask myself (did I just lock the car?), then I’d frantically run back, lock it twice (y’know, to make certain no one can get in) and then go back to what I’m doing… Sometimes I’d get as far as three city blocks before I start doubting myself, then I try to calm myself, and then I’d doubt myself again until I’d run back to the car… Friends that actually know this silly habit of mine, do their best to remember if I’ve locked or not (even if they reassure me, I have a way of making them doubt themselves, and then there I am, running back to the car). I need to lock the car and make sure it’s locked… I like to hear the locking confirmation sound when you press that button on your key.. beep beep.. yep it’s locked.. waitaminute… beep beep.. ok now I know it’s locked… waitaminute.. beep beep… aaahhh… one more time?

Other people have other OCDs… There’s the placement issue, in which everything needs to be organized… if you’re having dinner and you separate the salt and peppershakers from each other, my friend gets annoyed and has to bring them back together… I’d move the shakers away from each other, and you can see her notice them… she then waits a bit, tries to not let it bother her and then while you’re not looking, finally loses it and moves them back together… I like to run these little experiments on my friends, it makes waiting for your lunch so much more enjoyable…

I have another friend who needs to have the remote controls to his TV, Stereo, DVD, and whatever else all lined up side by side all facing the TV at all times, and they have to be in descending order in terms of size of the remote control… if he notices the remotes apart from each other, he will move them around… Imagine playing winning 11, bitch slapping Classic Argentina with your Classic Holland team, and the guy has to pause the game in the middle of an attack to line up the remote controls on his coffee table… DOH-NUT!

Another thing I do is hang-ups over washing my hands. I need to keep my hands clean throughout the day… My girl (who has many many mental hiccups - kidding) also has a washing OCD… she actually has a method in which she washes her hands and follows a routine. She only washes her hands that specific way and does not like smelling anything other than soap on her hands… me I just like to make sure they’re clean and I don’t trust anything except soap.. It’s not so much as washing my hands, but I just need to see soap there attempting to kick bacteria’s ass…

Airports are another place where people do this self-doubting thing as well… People will check their backpack 20 times to make sure the ticket; passport and travel documents are all safe and present… I mean you just checked 2 minutes ago, why do you need to check again…

How about people that need to lay on the side of the bed closest to the door to feel safe and have a good nights sleep… me I don’t care, I can sleep anywhere on the bed as long as it’s on the bed.. But there are people that need to sleep closest to the door, y’know in case of a fire or something like that, the flip side to this thought is that what if a mass murderer walked into the room, you’d be the first one he/she sees, now do you feel safe about sleeping closest to the door?
So these are some of the OCDs that I’ve dug up… I know there are more around, and many people have them, it’s totally natural… you should not be ashamed of the fact that you’re a neurotic person with a thing for spraying the entire bathroom with bleach before you take a bath. Expose your quirks to the world, let us laugh and ridicule at your expense, give me something to read…