I rant you risten

Monday, November 13, 2006

Our Man Davis Part 1

Just a little introduction: a idea hatched that has quickly manifested into a multi-part short story. If you like it, there's a part 2, and if you like that, well lets not get too carried away. Anyways, without any further delay...


Amidst the laughing and loud exchanges of the restaurant's main dining room, the server comes around with his powerfully bleached white shirt carrying two oversized extremely heavy plates, weaving in and out of earshot conversations, pirouetting around table 7 with great ease. It was the type of eatery that tried to loudly insinuate its class and fine dining experience by weighing down their tables with those huge oversized extremely heavy plates.. Rudolpho was enjoying serving the diners at table 7, his sixth sense felt a first date, and from what he could tell, things were going well. Muy Bien Rudolpho thought, Muy Bien indeed..

So far, dinner with Vivienne had gone off magnificently, Davis still couldn't believe his luck at how well he was connecting with this girl.. From their chance encounter at the coffee shop, where he fell victim to her smoke scarred voice box and oversized black sunglasses ordering her black coffee, to this dinner in which her cigarette smoke made her look even more mysterious and alluring like in a old black and white film.. What she saw in his Birkenstock shuffling self, he'll never know, but as they say, fortune favors the brave, and on that specific morning, our man Davis took his chances.. in all honestly, it wasn't Davis who took his chances, Viv noticed the neat little granola bar trying to check her out and she decided he was a pretty nice on the eyes.. After a quick quip, they were soon chuckling about the extravagant drawn out orders at these overpriced coffeehouses, a joke Davis snorted at while he hid his grande decaf saffron chai tea latte with no fat skimmed soymilk and refugee free raw cane brown sugar from her inquisitive eyes. The persistent ticking on their wristwatches ushered them both to rush off to their respective places of employment, leaving a short pause in the air soon followed by plans for dinner. Davis suggested the time and Viv suggested the place.

Throughout the time at the bar waiting for their table, Viv, found out more about her mysterious granola bar over a number of quickly drunk martinis.. She could sense his uneasy relaxed manner as he shuddered at her thing for athletes and retorted with his accuracy at bocce, a joke or not, she still wasn't sure.. He did have some funny stories with his travels around the world and his animal stories, like the snake slithering incident while relieving himself out on an ancient burial ground in the dense jungle during his time in South America with the Peace Corps. Round after round of drinks, they laughed away the nervousness one would experience from a first date with someone they were attracted to.. swill after sip they invited the comfort bubble to encompass them both..

The server made his way to the table and kerplunked the plates with a smile in front of the two hitting it off.. Davis really paid no attention to what he was ordering, a quick I'll have whatever you're having, resulted in an incomprehensible order with a wink from the server.. Since pre-dinner drinks had gone so well, he thought this would be the perfect mantra to carry him through the evening, a little bit of blind faith and trust in his companion's order. With an instructed air of pomposity, Rudolpho, calls on the attention of the diners at table 7 for something resembling a pre-meal shuffle, in which he presents a sliver of his incredible knowledge of the Bolero. The onus is on him to dazzle the diners with his dance moves and foot shuffling – this could make or break the date, he thinks, best give them the big finale making it all so memorable. He finishes off his moves with a suppressed but definitely personalized stamp and then directs their eyes to the two plates of sirloin steak in front of them..

In a spell resembling a touch of vertigo, Davis sat there frozen and shocked. He remained traumatized staring at the plate of chopped up meat of a fellow living being grilled to the point of visible markings.. Aghast at what he got himself into, somewhere in the middle of having drinks with the woman who has occupied his dreams of recent, our man here forgot to mention he is a strict vegetarian. Actually not just a strict vegetarian, an austere vegetarian. Davis founded the Vegan movement in college, in which he petitioned to get organic vegetarian food served at all the food outlets on campus. He led the line at the "great meat massacre" in '04, a very nicely staged protest against the illegal slaughtering of the pink spotted calves of western Greenland. He participated in the farmer’s market sit in, demanding minimum wage for the cheap labor lettuce pickers. How could he have forgotten to mention to his date that he does not eat meat? Damning the martinis under his breath, his eyes drifted to a place where the poor little steak was un-cooked, un-hacked, re-fused, re-skinned, and re-animated. Not exactly sure on what he should be doing, the fork rests difficultly in his hands.

Meanwhile, Viv turns to her date and proceeds to explain her love of meat and how being a carnivore is all she's ever known, a chord that struck a cringe in Davis.. in fact she wouldn't know what to do with vegetables if they didn't come with a side order of meat, a gag that drew out a panicky laugh from our man. She proceeded to tell him that this Sirloin presented for his epicurean pleasure was actual Kobe beef.. You can only call it Kobe beef if the cow was slaughtered in Kobe, Japan – otherwise it's Kobe Style (not the real thing). The special thing about this meal is that the meat has been specially flown in from Japan, giving them the "real deal", making this experience even more exclusive than he thought. Viv knows the head chef, and thought it would be a fitting surprise for what's turning into a great first date. She went on for a bit about the diet of beer and sake makes a world of difference with the marbling and how you can really tell the difference between Kobe and Kobe style.. the fat melts just perfectly helping the meat sear from the outside..

Little beads of sweat began dotting Davis' forehead as his level of comfort crashes through the floor.. Since the backdrop of this meal was a special occasion, he found it difficult to admit his abhorrence of cooked meat to his date. He thought about the situation.. Him being a strict vegetarian, meeting someone who could potentially be the woman of his dreams, and having her invite him to an exquisite meal. What was he to do? He thought about his parents, the former radicals and now organic farmers that vandalize local farms that use pesticides and unnatural growing processes on weekends with spray paint. He thought about how he spent his entire life having never tasted any kind of meat thanks to his mom's homemade veggie burgers and tofurkey. He considered their disappointment at their proud vegelete actually indulging in the one thing they tried so hard to teach him was wrong. The plate stared back at him as he pondered his options.. This poor defenseless animal was fed alcohol, massaged and then slaughtered and flown across the globe to be hacked into pieces by a mad machete wielding butcher, cooked, sizzled, eaten and digested by Viv and himself.. Then again, he had never tried steak before, and if he was going to indulge in the ultimate of sins, he might as well consider Prized Kobe Wagyu Beef a good place to start..

Slicing through her cut of dead cow, Viv shows off the undercooked cooked raw meat pink center surrounded by the expertly marked grilled crust. Making contact with the succulent morsel, her taste buds are awash in a sensation best described as the best perfectly cooked piece of meat she has ever had. There was the slightest inkling of displeasure knowing that the animal was raised with such care for the sole purpose of being killed - cooked - eaten - and passed. However, said displeasure was placated by the incredible softness of the meat, melting on her tongue sending her ideals off for a night of dancing. Amidst the orgasmic sounds reflecting her opinion and possible events to come, she notices a strange air about her companion - who although is really pushing her “no sex on a first date” rule, has gone a little quiet. Her date was sitting across inspecting his plate... Just as he begins to look slightly like melting into his seat, he shakes his head and begins to tackle his meal. She then watches him and his little oddities around the steak, which inadvertently reveal him to be the connoisseur as he carefully slices into his steak and inspect the doneness of the meat with a certain smidgen of skepticism.

After beating logic at his own game, Davis decided that it’s best to know what meat tastes like in order to appreciate his vegetarian ways further. His mind was made up.. just this once and only this once he was going to bend the rules a little, and shelve his ethics for a slice of love pie. After all, this was the best date he’d been on in years; there was no way he was going to make the whole situation uncomfortable now. No one has to know about this, he was just going to sample this exquisite fare and then he’ll know.. he stabbed the chunk of meat he just sliced through and began to raise the fork to his mouth.. His lips trembled with the idea of committing the definitive of sins in his leftwing doctrine of life, but a smile from Viv seemed to remind him of why he was doing this, why he was going to eat this banned meat and why he was going to prevail. With a revived drive, Davis sunk his fork into his mouth and began his dance with the devil, the meat devil that is.. At first, the texture of the meat fooled him, there was no crunch, it was soft, yet there was a certain resistance from the crust of the steak, the bite carried the same consistency that Davis envisioned meat would. The flavor released on his taste buds carried the salt and pepper used to rub the meat, a twinge of smokiness due to the grilling process. The meat in itself rolled around his tongue and with each bite, the juices were freed into his mouth releasing a certain melt away quality. The chewing continued, the meat gave away with every bite releasing more and more flavor into his mouth. And then with the first swallow, Davis decided that once you put the thought of eating a once living being, Kobe Beef actually tasted pretty good.. A smile eased its way back onto Davis’ face, another bite was eaten, and the conversation came flowing back.. he soon thought less and less of the defenseless cow that was slaughtered and more about the deliciousness of the cooked meat and the wonderful evening he was having with Viv.

Thinking about his actions, about his big secret, Davis thought it would be best if he kept his mouth shut about his evening, after all no one knew he was a vegetarian…

2 comments:

Mo said...

Davis, you hippie.

Made me feel hungry there, chief.. too bad our crap hospital cafeteria serves reformed meat sold as steak. Steak day is a good day, mind you.

scarlettepimp said...

she will crush his harem, punish his heart and lay him in a tomb of bitter food, drawing crooked in off colours on his headstone. she will stop short cause she's in control.