Can you play my game?

Ok People, this is it, I’ve been cruising to my music on random and I’ve written out the lyrics to 30 tracks from the ‘pod… It’s your job to figure out the Artist and Track title: I’m sure you can cheat your way through this one, but it’s no fun like that… answers will be posted in a couple of days or next week, who knows… some of the lyrics might be off, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got ‘em all… let see how good you guys are at guessing random music…

1- Ma hip-hop will rock and shock the nation like the emancipation proclamation

2- Light me up a cigarette as I strap shoes on my feet

3- I took her home to my place, watching every move on her face

4- Everyday I thank god for roses, they’re the closest thing to perfect next to you

5- And now we meet in an abandoned studio

6- High on Diesel and Gasoline, psycho for drum-machine

7- When you’re on a holiday…

8- At night I can’t sleep, I toss and turn, candlesticks in the dark, visions of bodies being burned.

9- There must be something in the way I feel cause she don’t want me to feel

10- A man walks down the street, he says why am I soft in the middle now?

11- We live on a mountain, right at the top, this beautiful view, from the top of the mountain

12- Cause if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need…

13- Sitting here resting my bones, and this loneliness wont leave me alone

14- Everything has changed, absolutely nothing’s changed, take my hand…

15- Doing all the don’ts and never looking back is the way I ought to be

16- We gonna Dance all night to this Dj, sugar, dance all night to this dj..

17- Oh yeah you’re skin and bones

18- Coming to ya, on a dusty road, good loving, I gotta a truck load

19- I must have died and gone to heaven cause it was a quarter past eleven

20- Dark as the night cold as the ground as the circular solitude of my heart…

21- Making love in the afternoon…

22- It’s always tease tease tease, you’re happy when I’m on my knees

23- I used to go out to parties, and stand around, cause I was too nervous to really get down

24- One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain, so hit me with music, hit with music, brutalize me with music.

25- People try to put us down…

26- Very superstitious, writings on the wall…

27- Well I guess what they say is true.. I could never spend my life with a man like you

28- when I’m walking , I strut my stuff and I’m so strung out

29- So wide you can’t get around it, so low you can’t get under it

30- Last night I had a dream about you, in this dream I’m dancing right beside you…


ANSWERS HAVE BEEN POSTED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION

one track mind

SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX

Do I have your attention now? Can I go off on a rant? Good… we’ve got serious issues here in Bahrain; everyone’s a sex addict… People getting turned on from staring at lingerie shop windows, while others are checking out jailbait at shopping malls, gold diggers ready to exchange a little nookie for a Gucci bag, we even have cases where a guy catches a girl having sex with someone and then blackmails her to have sex with him or risk her reputation being tarnished… everyone… male or female has their ass checked out here… we’re a vile and sick society when it comes to sex… What makes it so is that all of this happens behind closed doors… It’s all a big secret this sex fetish we have… We’re really a nice culture and great society, honest… So why does this all happen? Is it too much or too little religion? Is it the fact that we segregate our schools or is it because we don’t segregate our schools enough? Is it because we’ve adopted too many western ideas and that are clashing with our traditional views? Is it the fact that we’re in denial that we have a problem? I think it’s a little bit of everything and it’s a matter that needs to be brought out to the open…

Girls here want to get married to get out from under the rules of their parents, so they can finally start living. Parents are so quick to get rid of their daughters, that they’ll marry them off to anyone with a little bit of money and fake persona… Guys are so horny that they’ve resorted to lying to girls about marriage to get into their pants, and girls are so horny that they believe them… People get molested every day: at the office, at home, at places of worship, everywhere… are you disgusted? There’s a lot more… Homosexuality is rampant and that’s fine (can’t get upset over someone’s sexual preference), but people here actually distinguish the “homo” as the person who ‘receives’ not the person who ‘administers’… that’s what makes someone gay or not? You gotta be fucking kidding me… and these pretty boys go for shocking more than just being… I mean is it because you were so repressed that you need to resort to expressing your sexuality in such a blatant manner? Has society done this? Telling you it’s a sickness? Homosexuality has existed for centuries, come to terms with it don’t push it underground…

Oh, do everything but preserve your virginity dear… no one likes damaged goods… you fucking hypocrites, I can go stick my dick in anything with a heartbeat, but she can’t find out what sex feels like? (but she does, it’s just that she’ll do everything ‘butt’ let you break her hymen). The manoovers (thanks BMD) you have to go through to meet someone… Everyone here lies, everyone here is not honest with themselves or with anyone else… Our society dictates how we’re supposed to think, yet we all think like animals, so what does that say about our society? Married men cheating on their wives, while their wives sit there quietly taking it all, repressing all that pain. Wives substituting money for love, leaving their husbands with the task of satisfying themselves… Or are we that much worse than anywhere else..

Girls getting harassed walking down a street; expatriates getting harassed on the street, anyone getting harassed… When did we all become such perverts? Or have we always been perverts? There’s so much more, I can go on and on for days… Prostitution is prevalent; the oldest profession in world still barely makes the newspapers, and everyone’s feigning ignorance… What a great excuse ignorance is… when are we all going to wake up and realize how this is affecting us? Life can be so much more than flaunting what you’ve got on your cell phone… The onus is always on the woman to cover herself up, to not entice my sex enraged hormones… And why is this the case? That it’s always my sex enraged hormones? People here consider me a sexual deviant, and that the woman needs to cover up, needs to be careful walking down the street, needs to hide her beauty, because apparently, I can’t just admire it, I need to fantasize to it… Is this what people want me to be? A predator? Or am I supposed to live in such fear for my loved ones that I need to constantly remain on guard the whole time? What are we all about?

I gotta say there’s a lot of good to us, it’s there you can see it for yourself on a daily basis, we just need to get out of this thing we’ve fallen into… find the funk and unleash it people…

virtual tikka tour

Flashback: sometime in the early 80s… location: outside 5 star tikka joint in Manama… setting: dad’s car… players: my dad, brother, sister and myself… memory: Tikka experience 101…

I have no idea where to start with this one… I mean Bahraini Tikka, wow, it’s a phenomenon that you can’t really explain in a post… you have to actually sit there and immerse yourself in a tradition that’s been experienced by generations to get the right feel of it… First off, Tikka is bite sized marinated pieces of meat and fat on a long skewer that is grilled to perfection (but there’s so much more). Kabab (not to be mistaken with Kebab) is grilled minced meat with spices also grilled on a flat skewer… so if you will follow me, I’m going to attempt to take you’re taste buds on a Virtual Tikka tour.

There are many Tikka joints scattered around the island, some are really basic, while others go the extra mile… Every major town has a couple of tikka joints of notable mention. BIG UPS to: TIKKA ABUL, TIKKA AMIN, ASIR, TIKAA AJEEB, and MANDALY… Entering one of these fine establishments you immediately realize that there’s no maitre d, no napkins, and consider yourself lucky if you find bottled water… But I’ll tell you what you do find: a long rectangular grill with a width no greater than 13 inches, filled with red hot coals ready for that grilling experience of a lifetime, wholesome barbequed comfort food, and a messy meal with a tradition to it…

Skewers normally cost 100 fils (28 cents US), and you’d usually order your quantities in half dinar (500 fils) or dinar amounts… So there you are in a no frills Tikka joint… Yer Hungry, so you place a half a dinar order of tikka, a half a dinar order of kabab, take your can of preferred carbonated beverage and wait for your meat… for the sake of my childhood memories we’re going enjoy this virtual tikka experience the way my dad made his kids enjoy it, in the car… His reasoning behind this was that the place was too dirty to eat in, but you didn’t want to drive all the way home in the car and risk having your meat get cold and the fat solidify (solidified marinated fat isn’t appetizing, take my word for it). I digress… Allow me to explain the cooking method involved in grilling your tikka. The griller arranges the skewers on the grill and lets the hot coals serve their purpose (sometimes there’s a little electric fan directed to the grill to keep the fire going). The skewers are arranged with a couple of pieces of meat followed by a piece of fat, this is very important cause you need a little bit of fat to melt and drizzle onto the meat. The sizzling doesn’t stop until the griller decides it’s time and he flips all the skewers to get the other side nicely charred. Once the meat’s cooked, a huge piece of Iranian bread (think thin pita bread with the diameter of a medium/large pizza) is folded in half and by properly holding the fold, the meat easily slides off the skewer (I know, it’s hard to explain, you just have to see to understand it).

All of a sudden, there’s a knock at your window and there’s “Qamar-el-din” the man of the moment with a plastic bag filled with a bunch of aluminum foil wrapped bundles (if he’s nice, he might have some extra plates for you to enjoy your meal on)… You take out one of the aluminum bundles and unwrap it to find a whole lot of Iranian bread rolled up in a mini parcel, once you unravel the bread, you’re nostrils are immediately greeted with the smell of succulent grilled meat… mmmm… There’s a paper bag filled with your required veggies: Bagul, onion slices, green chilies, and lemon wedges… Bagul looks like thick blades of grass, but tastes pretty good (it’s all part of the experience, bear with me)…. Take the lemon wedge and squeeze the juice all over your meat, then tear of a piece of bread, arrange some bagul and onion and then add some of the meat and all of a sudden you’ve got your first bite… The combination in your mouth takes your taste buds on a heavenly roller coaster and you start wondering how can you eat this everyday for the rest of your life… The meat is hot and juicy with the lemon juice enhancing it’s flavor, while the bagul and onion provide you with that raw veggie “good for you” filler taste. The whole thing is wrapped up in bread making it easier to eat since everything is arranged in a mini roll… Some people hate the fat and some people love the fat, I don’t mind it as long as long as part of it is burnt and has that marinated lemony crispy yet soft center taste to it… Over the years, various tikka joints have improved their variety offering different types of marinades: yogurt, lemon, chili, and tomatoes (they’re all good depending on your taste and they still retain the original flavor of the meat). Kabab meat is served and eaten just the same as the tikka except the meat is minced and a lot softer. The spices used in the meat mix are complemented with the grilling style delivering a wonderfully flavored meat. I personally cannot make up my mind, which tastes better, so I usually end up ordering both, as should you…

Personally, the best part of the meal is the oily bread… Think of the tikka parcel like the earth, and the meat is the core. It’s then wrapped in layer after layer of bread (Gurss – the actual “loaf” - if you want the Bahraini lingo). The inside layer is soaking up all the juices and oils from the meat flavoring the bread and making it so moist… mmm heavenly… I know what you’re thinking… I need me some tikka right now… I couldn’t agree with you more…

WARNING: Sometimes eating tikka leaves a film of fat that covers the roof of your mouth… It doesn’t taste like fat, but it does taste like there’s an artificial film coating the roof of your mouth and can be a small price to pay for the taste. I’ve found a good way to combat this unwanted after effect: whiskey, but vodka works just as well… I’m not a scientist, but I’ll tell you the higher the proof the easier it is to breakdown the film in your mouth…

Tikka is a Bahraini tradition that’s slowly losing it’s fight to corporate fast food… Keep your memories and enjoy tikka, it’s much cheaper than buying a burger meal, and you’ve just helped local businesses survive a little longer… Bad tikka joints do exist, I just experienced it this weekend, but that shouldn’t deter you, there are many great eateries just waiting for your appetite and money…

a tribute...

I’m a huge football fan (that’s soccer to all you gringos), and over the past 4 years, our national team has stamped their presence on the international stage, playing some unbelievably attractive football… it all started with that crazy German coach Wolfgang Sidka on our way to the 2002 world cup… Ze Wolfman didn’t have much experience with really big teams (he did coach a couple of the smaller teams in the Bundesliga) but he believed in hard work and cooperation. He worked our boys to the ground and got them operating like a team… He took us pretty far, and when we hired Jurcic Srecko (a Croatian coach formerly of Al Ittihad in the UAE), everyone was skeptical… The boss had his work cut out for him: big shoes to fill and a lot of raw talent that needed to be utilized to it’s maximum potential. Srecko did just that and took the foundations that Sidka had established and built a skyscraper on it… He started giving our youngsters a chance like the Hubail brothers (he put his faith in Alaa Hubail as one of our main strikers and the lad didn’t disappoint). The team was pushed during it’s practices and allowed to rest during their breaks, the coach brought a sense of banding together that gave the team added confidence on the field.

The performance of our team on the international stage speaks for itself… making it to the semifinals of the Asian Cup 2004 (losing to the eventual tournament winner in extra time – Japan), & progressing to the final round of playoffs on route to the World Cup 2006 in Germany. Right now, we’ve got the Semifinals to the Gulf Cup in Qatar taking place and we’re up against Oman. A victory would send us to the finals and a chance to win the Cup. I just wanted to take a moment and pay tribute to some of the stars of our national team…

Goal: Ali Hassan of the Muharraq football club has stepped in for Ali Saeed and I have to admit, I like the change. He may be a small fellow, but his reflexes and reaction time is excellent… I do also like the fact that he makes every save seem like it was goal bound (the old Humood Sultan rolling around – know what I mean?). He fills out the goal and when you have the luxury of being able to bring on Ali Saeed (Solid no frills goalkeeper at Al Ahli) in goal, then you’ve got no worries…

Defense: Hussain Ali Baba is the epitome of cool and composed defending… This guy just might be one of the best defenders we’ve produced in years (don’t know why, but he reminds me of a young Alessandro Nesta)… He’s young (early 20s), skillful and accurate with his tackles (although he is prone to the occasional error – but who isn’t), and his passing and distribution is not only impressive but plays a big part in starting out our attacks. During the gulf cup game versus Saudi (3-0 win for us), Hussain was always there stopping Saudi’s attacks, pressuring their forwards with every play and cementing his role on the team… Abdulla Al Marzoogi is our bone crunching tackler, He’s big and tall, always ready for an aerial challenge. His height comes in very handy in corner kicks, and his control on the ball is very reliable. He’s gets the occasional goal and is very passionate when he plays, you always need someone like him on the team. Mohammed Hussain is another reliable, solid defender that comes in with the decisive tackle and never seems to lose his composure. It’s these three players that to me make up our backbone with an excellent understanding between each other and an organized back line that rivals the Italian league…

Midfield: You cannot talk about our midfield without highlighting the impact and importance of our team captain Talal Yousif. This guy is everything and the bag of chips: exceptional passing, good defending, and a knack for scoring decisive goals (who can forget that blast against Syria to tie the game in Damascus). Talal is our captain and he’s taken on the responsibilities fantastically… If I had to compare him to anyone, He’s definitely the Beckham of Bahrain… He’s most dangerous when he drifts in from the left into the center, looks up and takes the shot outside of the 18 yard box, totally catching the goalkeeper off his line.. woooohooooo!!!! The goal is then followed by the best celebratory dance that only Talal can pull off.. top class… Bahrain has recently been playing a 3-5-2 formation with Mahmood Jalal and Mohammed Hubail on the left and right wings. I don’t know enough of Mahmood, but from what I’ve seen, he’s a technical squad player with a good cross… If he keeps up his form, that left wing space is all his… good on ya… Mohammed Hubail is just a pleasure to watch with his mesmerizing runs along the right wing. He tracks back to defend well and just when you think the long ball down right is going for a goal kick, he magically keeps it in to supply a precise cross… I love watching him dart into the box, he’s got a pace and work rate like you couldn’t imagine… Our Fantasista is none other than Mohammed Salmeen… Salmeen can do it all: through balls that slice the defense in half, powerful crosses, quick passing, good ball control and a good shot on goal… He has the potential to actually read the game 5-8 seconds early, and as far as creative midfielders go, his delivery is sublime… The final midfield role is filled up by Either Rashid Al Dosari, Saleh Farhan, or Sayed Mohammed Adnan. Ok I have to admit that I don’t know much about these players (just recently started to properly follow our national team), but the Sayed’s free kick goal against Syria in Damascus was taken perfectly, he’s tall and lanky but has excellent ball control (how did that ball curve into the goal???). Dosari is a regular starter and he does pack a punch, while Farhan has been used as a substitute – one for the future…

Forwards: This is where Bahrain has been exceptional with scoring goals or drawing the defenders letting someone else thump it into the net.. The main two players in this position are Hussain Ali and Alaa Hubail… Hussain Ali, is a powerful center forward that scores goals in all different shapes and sizes: with a quick tap in, or a volley straight into the net, it’s all him… He’s currently plying his trade at Al Rayyan in Qatar and was dislodged from the top scorer title in the Qatar league by none other than: Alaa Hubail (our Wayne Rooney)… Alaa is still very young (early 20s), but he’s been blessed with a talent to put the ball in the back of the net… He’s our young goal-scoring phenomenon and we’ve had a taste and want more… Alaa, is quick and comfortable with the ball constantly terrorizing the opposition… Watching him play just makes the years to come so much more interesting… This kid will be ready for the big leagues of Europe and when they come knocking, he’s going to answer with some thundering goals… Salman Isa is our utility player. He’s comfortable as a left forward, but I’ve seen him play well on the left wing as well… You never really know Salman’s playing until he scores that goal that he managed to create from nothing… Pace and fluid play is what he brings to the table and I want to see more of it… The final member of the team is Daij Nasser… now when you want to talk about the future, this kid is it… He scored the equalizer against Japan leading to extra time. When he received that long ball, his first touch didn’t look good, but then out of nowhere he took a shot on goal and gave us hope… Muharraq have always produced some of the best in Bahrain, and Daij has no fear, he’s ready for anything you throw at him and I’m excited about seeing what else he’s got in his bag of tricks…

This isn’t a comprehensive analysis of the National team; this just the opinion of a fan; I left out where I thought the team could improve cause this isn’t the time to be pointing fingers and yelling at sub-par performances… After our Asian Cup performance, most of the players on our national team immediately got picked up by teams in Qatar and Kuwait, receiving handsome salaries. This can only be a good thing for us (hopefully they’re picking up different styles and tricks from the stars in Qatar: Sonny Anderson, Desailly, Batistuta, BenArabia, Dugarry, the De Boer Brothers, etc.). Our boys in red have played their hearts out for us and we need to stand behind them and show the world what David can do against the Goliath.

Come on Lads!! Hayoo El Bahrain!! Good luck against Oman, and just play your hearts out...

the art of the bahraini pull

This is something that I’ve always found totally intriguing… In the Middle East, meeting a member of the opposite sex and starting a relationship requires quick thinking, a lot of talk time, and secret agent skills that match James Bond…

Let’s say you’re strolling along in a undisclosed shopping mall, you decide you need that double espresso and you need it right now.. At the corporate world domination coffee shop, you spot this delicious bellabambina in front of you in the line… your eyes meet and she smiles… OK NOW STOP… if you were anywhere else in the world, then you might decide to start up a conversation on how you love Kenyan double dark roasts because they really release the true flavor of the beans or some bullshit like that.. but you’re in the middle east and that line isn’t going to cut it.. Instead, you must turn on your cell phone, activate the blue tooth transmission on your phone and hope that you can find her and send her a text message… she will also have her blue tooth turned on the prowl for interesting names… once you get her name you can start texting which will eventually lead to calling and then hopefully on to bigger and better things… The only problem is that everyone and their mother has their blue tooth on, scooping the cellular chick frequencies, so panache and guile is a must.

Before the advent of cell phones and blue tooth, people used to write their number on a little piece of paper and give it to the girl or the guy… Some poor sods actually went out of their way and had their numbers printed on special paper with a little catchphrase like: I want to whisper soft poetry into your ear… I’ve actually seen the number paper transfer executed with such class and precision that you’d think they’re trading government secrets… It’s just unbelievable… I’ve never even bothered to try because I don’t know what to do… Do you hand over the number? Toss it over (if you do toss it, underhand or overhand)? Oh and if you don’t know, people are number hungry here, the sequence or the simplicity of a number really gets the girl going, because then she thinks “hmm this guy’s got a good number, I bet he drives a nice car”. So to answer your question, if you’re going to pull in this manner, then you’re going for a materialistic WAP (wannabe princess) and long walks on the beach holding hands is out of the question…

I once heard that guys in Saudi pick women based on their shoes… Since the women there are usually covered from head to toe, then you might want to consider the Manolo Blahnik pumps over the size 50 European medical arch supporting flats.. can you believe that? Shoes, what a phenomenon, that’s how you weed the women out there… If anyone actually reads this, can you verify? I’m interested to know… what do you do if you pick the girl out, then plan to meet with her again and you tell her to wear the same shoes; but then get screwed because she was wearing a popular sneaker that everyone’s wearing these days?

Once you’ve found your blue tooth honey, you guys have to start talking on the phone… Now this is the part that can be quite tiresome… You guys exchange phone calls, spend hour after hour of precious network talk time, doing absolutely nothing… I’ve sat in on and observed one of these talks and had to leave 20 minutes cause it was going nowhere… allow me to demonstrate: phone rings… (hello?) 5 minutes of silence (shlonek- how are you) another 5 minutes of silence (I’m good, I’m thinking about you) yet another 5 minutes of silence (really? I’m thinking about you too) you guessed it, another 5 minutes of silence, and that’s when I walked out of the room. Hopefully the phone calls will end up somewhere and you might actually get a chance to have a private moment with your newfound love…

Another way you can pull is by having a cell phone… Desperate people in Bahrain, spend lots of time with their phones randomly calling people, or they might actually find some stranger’s number and then out of the blue give them a call.. Those phone conversations can be very interesting to sit in on cause both people are playing both offense and defense (when you’re trying to start a relationship with a stranger over the phone, you have to be)… Don’t want to get into the details, but if you’re a pro then you’ll bag whomever your talking to; otherwise you’ll just get chewed up and spit out…

I think what I’m trying to get at, is that this is how business is conducted in terms of relationships… I’m oblivious to this and really don’t even know where to start, nor do I have a desire to even try… People here are so hung up on the bling, that they’ll forgo on the relationship building and the getting to know you bit (if you haven’t kept up on urban phraseology of the past 4 years, bling is defined as the shine that hits your eye when someone is wearing diamonds, so when you say “check out my bling” that means check out the really expensive stuff I’ve got). Talking to a member of the opposite sex, shouldn’t be such a secret or require such crazy methods.. Meeting someone should be fun, not complicated, what if you don’t have blue tooth? Or you don’t have the bling? You shouldn’t be shit out of luck.. People need to drop these false pretenses and just go with the flow. The problem is that many people like to go with the flow, but they’ve been burned so many times, that they’ve got these 15-foot high walls with barbed wire and guard dogs. Guys, we need to stop being assholes, a little respect and courtesy will go a long way, & stop spreading the false rumors. Ladies, give the lads a chance, we’re not all assholes… oh and everybody… can we tone down the materialistic bullshit just a bit? It’s ok to be a fashionista, but don’t hold it against someone if they’re not…

Note to my bellabambina: Baby, I would never even attempt to do something as stupid and silly as this, I know better. You’d catch me, then fricassee my privates and serve them with a little bit of fresh parsley as a garnish. I’m the luckiest guy on the planet and I love you..

a heated post about the environment

One of our biggest problems with Bahraini’s is that people have no respect for their environment and that REALLY gets under my skin… People don’t give a shit about where they throw their trash, constantly under the impression that there’s some poor fellow there to pick up after them. The thing is there is someone there to pick up after them, he’s the poor garbage man that I see every morning on my ride to work having to pick up juice boxes and wrappers off the side of the road…

I’ve said this before, Bahrain’s a tiny place, if you’re gonna litter, it’s going to build up until it becomes disgusting… and since Bahraini’s don’t give a shit, they’re inviting others living here to not give a shit either… I get so pissed off when I’m driving and I see a Bahraini driver, rolling down his or her window and dumping out trash… I mean, why? You’re in a car, you’re obviously going someplace, can’t you crumble that empty pack of cigarettes or that tissue paper and hold on till you get to wherever you’re going so that you don’t have to make my country a little less beautiful? Can someone explain to me why people litter? What is the deal? I see trash cans everywhere but people are too lazy to do anything with them… I dare anyone who reads this to go and drive around Bahrain looking for a spot or patch of “refuse free” land… if you do find that actual spot, then think back of all the other spots that are just covered in trash and allow yourself to vomit (in a toilet that is, we don’t want more crap on the floor)…

I’m not asking you to quit your job, join green peace, get on the rainbow warrior and save the sardines… I’m asking you to realize what you do in your life where you’re fucking litterbug and if you stopped, and if you made everyone around you to stop then maybe you can make a difference… Every little piece of trash put in a bin counts by the way… I’m planning on having kids someday and I want to do everything I can to preserve some sort of clean environment for them to grow up in… If you’re from here, then try to remember how pretty and green it was here 15 years ago, do you really want to lose that forever? Do you want to take your kids over to a public garden to show them more sand? The government is doing its part to keep the country clean, but it shouldn’t be just up to them, we should all do our part. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, just keep after yourself; and if more people start becoming responsible citizens and keep after themselves then we might actually have a chance…

Just to paint a really sad picture for you, at the cemetery in Manama, there’s trash on people’s graves… During a funeral, there’s usually bottled water being passed around for anyone feeling a little dehydrated. Do you know how these assholes repay their gratitude for getting a free drink of water? They throw the empty bottles on ground, while I end up picking up after them and tossing them in the garbage bin less than 5 footsteps away… You fucking assholes, I don’t give a shit how religious you are or who the hell listens to you. You just lost all credibility in my book when you tossed garbage on someone’s grave, and if by chance anything is thrown on any grave of any relative of mine, I will not hesitate in pummeling your face into the ground. If you just read this and feel there’s nothing wrong with people littering in Bahrain, then FUCK YOU TOO.
Peace loving, tree hugging, granola eating, disgruntled hippie…

The Rules of Engagement

The following notes are the rules that dictate the existence of the circle… We live by these rules and we die by these rules.

Bugs it: In the event that an action is required for the good of the group (ie: getting another drink, turning on the TV, ordering food or paying the delivery guy, setting up the console for multiplayer action, etc) and you are not planning on volunteering for it, then yell out “bugs it” before the last person does to ensure that you will not be required to perform said action. If you fail to yell out “bugs it” before the last person, then you are required by the laws of the circle to perform said action… If you are newly recruited into the circle, you will be granted one get out of “bugs it” free card only to be redeemed once…

The Reign of the Jackass: Within the circle, the probability of you doing something absolutely stupid and asinine is quite high, hence the Reign of the Jackass rule… After deliberation and mutual agreement by the circle, the person caught doing the stupidest act will have the title of Jackass bestowed upon him, until the next jackass is found. The Jackass lives, long live the Jackass…

Reservoir Dog rule: There are many levels within the circle, and one must work hard to rise within the ranks. The title of Reservoir Dog can only be attained after accomplishing a number of kudo feats that involve but are not restricted to (boozing, women, gaming, trash talking, stunt driving, skeet shooting, punking, etc.).

The Reign of the High Commander: Any Reservoir Dog that performs additional kudo feats that benefit the circle collectively will also rise in ranking achieving High Commander Status… However, performing a number of jackass feats will demote the high commander to his previous rank, making way for a new high commander.

The Nancy Rule: Any member of the circle who succumbs to the shackles of a committed relationship and stops attending circle meetings, will not lose rank, but will gain the Nancy title. From the moment that reservoir dog can no longer make a decision without having to consult the real person who wears the pants in that relationship; then he forgoes all manly rights within the circle… That member may be ridiculed and insulted on the sole basis that he is no longer master of his domain and is now a Nancy.

Nips n Punches: Disclaimer: We are sick people; the object of this rule is to define that level of sickness and curb how far our sadistic thinking can go. Nipple plays of a homoerotic nature are not part of the standard operating procedure within the circle but will be overlooked, however, nipple plays that would drive a member of the circle to the point of violent behavior are fair game. Every nipple play constitutes a punch, and every punch constitutes a nipple play… sorry Nancy, there’s no way around this. Pre-emptive punching for oncoming nipple plays will be condemned and are against our laws, however there shall be no interference by the circle. A nipple play is defined as 3 twirls and a pinch. If the puncher invites the nippler for a nipple play, the play is transferable. Skin on skin plays are for special occasions and events such as halftime shows. Incorrectly landing a punch will only prompt an additional punch if the first strike did not make contact with the nippler. If you move when receiving a nipple play or a punch, then your forfeit your right to retaliate, for every action there is a reaction and if you try to mess with that equation then you’re disrupting the flow of the cosmos. However, the nippler may brace himself for the ensuing punch and may request the location of the punch.

More Ice Bitch: If a drink is made for you, and the maker has not added enough ice to your liking, then you may yell “more ice bitch” and demand additional ice for your drink… The maker has to duly accommodate you since he was making you the drink in the first place.

The Hog: When a member of the circle, is taking his sweet ass time with anything, any member of the circle may point and yell out “hog” repeatedly making the hog uncomfortable. Other members are welcome to join in the pointing and hog calling.

Verbal Diarrhea: 1. It’s “Marv know your role” – because he forever will. 2. Improvising on any of the names and name-calling is welcome as long as it is within the scope of the original insult. 3. “DAI” may be used to complete any argument, or fill in any awkward quiet moments.

Player Whore: In any competitive environment, mainly video games, the loser in last place dons the title player whore. Being player whore means that you receive the crappy controller, and you get to select the level in the following round.

Betting: In the event that someone shoots his mouth off and a wager is made; all money must be collected by a non-participating member of the circle (all rules must be agreed upon prior to the money being collected). If you are not carrying enough money to cover the bet but are good for it, a guarantor must be secured. If you happen to bet against a member of the circle and lose, then you maybe subjected to all forms of ridicule and insults.

Riding Around in my Automobile..

Growing up in Bahrain, you used to joke and say that you could get to anywhere on the island in less than 15 minutes… Over the years, the country has morphed into a concrete jungle, the numbers of cars on the road have increased considerably, and people’s driving skills have gotten much worse. The 15-minute car ride can now take up to an hour, with your road rage on full blast… There are a lot of issues you need to deal with when driving in Bahrain, and I think I’m entitled to gripe a bit…

Bahrain’s a small place… we’ve got a population of a little over half a mil, however, everyone lives in the top half of the island making it a very densely populated area. With no proper public transportation system yet (well except buses: but that’s just more cars on the road), everyone’s forced to drive. Ok so that’s not a big deal.. but then the weekend comes along, and we have company… our neighbors from the nearby GCC states, drive across their borders for a little R&R (recklessness and rampage) on our soil… now I know tourism is important to our Economy, but apart from the additional traffic we also get to enjoy the driving skills of our “neighbors”. Saudis for example, have very interesting driving methods; Instead of taking the left lane and indicating left to turn left; they would probably, be in the right lane planning to turn left and eventually busting a U turn on you, forcing you to slam your breaks… In Saudi, drivers are aware of this law of “possible turns” and plan accordingly; unfortunately many accidents have occurred because of not taking into consideration the moron driving next to you… Overtaking from any lane is fine as long as you’re going much faster than the other person, as is flashing the guy ahead of you creating that disco strobe effect, because 125km per hour on a 100km road isn’t fast enough for your formula one taste… Bahrain’s smaller than most major world cities, who on earth needs to be clocking ludicrous speeds (not ludicrous speed?!! mel brooks plug)..

I’m convinced that due to the driving skills of our neighbors, that the local driving here has also become appalling… the common consensus is that anything to avoid a little traffic is fair game… You can get stuck in a jam and then have some bozo in his little shitbox or gas guzzler riding in the breakdown lane/ elevated sidewalk only to cut into traffic, 209 cars ahead… It’s assholes like these that slow down traffic and make it ok for everyone to break the law… The traffic police have started to crack down on these offenders, but it’s not enough, these punks need to be humiliated and ridiculed… I always honk my horn in approval and clap when these chumps are pulled over, occasionally giving them the one finger salute… Anyone who’s taken the highway at the Seef Mall towards Manama knows what I’m talking about… this is an offence of the law where the death penalty could come in useful… Fry a couple of these punks and see how people follow the law...

Since I’m on a roll, let me tell you about another issue I have a problem with… Just recently, the law has granted permission for veiled woman to drive… I don’t mean veiled women who’ve covered their heads, I mean women who are also wearing the face covering with two “ninja-like” eye slits… Now listen, I know religious fervor has struck this planet and everyone’s found some sort of spiritual sense of belonging – good for you… But this is a democracy and last time I checked I was allowed to have an opinion… In my personal opinion, I feel that veiled women are unsafe drivers.. I think anyone who covers their face leaving a little slit for their eyes are an added risk to themselves, other drivers and pedestrians… I rely on my peripheral vision to deal with the constant insanity on the roads, how can this lady have a clear line of sight? This is just dangerous, I mean what if the burqa slips, or she’s taking a turn and her line of sight is completely blocked by a piece of black material? oh and get this, if this lady who’s completely covered up gets pulled over, then a male police officer cannot stop her, they have to call in for backup and have a female officer give the offender a ticket… So what’s to stop me from getting up in Bahraini drag, throwing an abaya and a burqa to cover my face, go speeding all over the place and not get pulled over by a male cop? I know this is a little far fetched, but I don’t see why it’s not possible. Or how about this, can you imagine being a covered lady and getting pulled over for speeding? You’re already late for work, and now you have to wait an additional 20-30 minutes till a female officer can make it to where you are and make sure your face matches the covered face on your driver’s license? Sounds like a hassle if you ask me... Like I said, this is just my opinion and I’m allowed to have it… this law has helped a lot of people in Bahrain, but it just doesn’t make sense to me – I’m just voicing my issues with it…

Here’s one of my personal favorites… Bahraini’s like to take walks. They especially like taking walks on poorly lit streets, while wearing the darkest most unreflective (is that even a word?) clothing… The women in my neighborhood like to wear their abayas and walk around at night, on the side of the road, but sometimes they choose to walk directly on the road because they don’t want to get their shoes dirty… now I understand people’s need to remain fit, and I can also empathize with not wanting to get your shoes dirty, but wearing something reflective is just common sense… It’s dark, people like to walk, and people speed here, so wouldn’t you want to at least wear something that will alert other drivers that there is someone walking along the side of the road, oh and by the way please don’t kill me? Just a suggestion… Next time you’re driving at night, take a look around for all the lone walkers, and then think of how much easier your life would be if they were wearing just a little something reflective to make sure they don’t get run over by anyone…
And to the punk that raced me on the way to work, almost killed the driver of the pickup truck to cut me off because I gave him the finger: you’re a bastard…

my infatuation with sports...

What is it with about a man that makes him grunt and cheer the television when a sports game is on? I love watching sports, I grunt, in fact I do more than just grunting… I’ve been known to straddle the tv as the New England Patriots score the game winning touchdown… & I’ve been known to throw a cup of chocolate pudding at the screen, when Referee Byron Moreno (you asshole) made all those stupid nonsensical calls during the Italy Vs Croatia game during the 2002 world cup… I’m a guy and I love sports… I can’t help it… I can watch Football, basketball, baseball, hockey, American football, darts, snooker, cricket, boxing, curling, etc… you name the sport and as long as there is a definite winner and a loser (ties are ok too), I’ll watch…

In my short live span, I’ve endured a lot of feelings associated with being a sports fan: the thrill of watching your team beat the clear favorites, supporting the winning team, and the pains and heartbreak that comes along with a losing team.. I’ve seen and felt it all… and this is an important thing, it’s a very important life experience for men… Sports teach you when to be cocky and flaunt your team’s victories, when to rub the defeat into the crying loser’s face, and it teaches you when to shut it and eat your humble pie…

Sports are something women just can’t seem to fully grasp… I know that women can compete in sports and enjoy sports and have been known to be avid fans, but they don’t understand the stupid things men do for sports. You don’t see any women streaking during a sports game… you don’t see women storming the field to beat the living daylight out of the referee on that dodgy call… Women just can’t seem to grasp that Neanderthal intensity we have towards sports. To us, sports are the most important beautiful things in this world, right up there with giving birth. There’s nothing like opening up your closet on game day, and reaching into the pile of clothes for your teams’ Jersey. You don that tunic of champions (props falco) thinking you’ve just made the difference between winning and losing… You’ve got this new lease on life because you’re ready to bring it on: the cheers the jumping, the name-calling, the swearing and the booze (when you’re winning your buying and when you’re losing you’re drowning). On that match day, anything can happen and you’re pretty confident that whatever happens, it’ll be in your team’s favor. Supporting a team is a lifelong commitment, there’s no room for fair-weather fans – I can’t stand ’em nor should anyone… you might stop cheering for them for a while, you might decide to take up another sport, but that team will always be in your heart…

In my opinion watching the game with friends is integral to your viewing pleasure. Who’s gonna give you that high five on that fantastic three pointer? Who’s gonna back you up when you yell “CHEATING” to the referee? Who’s gonna talk back smack when you piss all over his team? That’s what friends are for…

The only distractions allowed during game time are ones that involve the bathroom, food, cigarettes, or another pint… Blocking someone’s view is considered uncouth and childish, flaunting your victory and making fart noises on the other hand is fair game… The only thing better than watching one game is watching two games at the same time with another two coming up afterwards… Saturday is my day… that’s when the English Premier League has it’s matchdays, and that’s when I basically tune out the rest of the world from lunchtime, till passing out time… Sundays are reserved for some more English, Italian and Spanish League football and gridiron football – does it get any better? Yes it does: “dadada dadada dadada da daaah” – I love that Monday night football theme…

Sublime passes, bone crunching tackles, decisive moments, bad calls, good calls, double plays, ball control, pure class (thank you zizou), freak injuries, counter attacks, high scoring games, and last second efforts that make it through… that’s why I love sports
LET ME HEAR AN AMEN IF YOU’RE WITH ME!!!

it's all Eid to me

It’s been 30 days of Ramadan fasting, I wouldn’t say it was brutal or that painful, but I have to admit I’m glad I don’t have to fast for the rest of the year… You take so many things for granted when you don’t have breakfast for 30 days: like how good eggs in the morning taste, or pancakes drenched in syrup… mmm… The literal translation of Eid is celebration… In Islam we celebrate Eid twice a year, once after fasting the month of Ramadan, and another after the Pilgrimage to Mecca is completed. It’s during Eid everyone dresses up in their finest threads and instead of gifts, the children get money…

Although there are some traditions that really make it worthwhile, my relationship with Eid has changed drastically throughout the years… One of the most devastating changes felt is that, as I’ve gotten older, the Eid money has dwindled greatly. Some of my fondest memories were running around my grandmother’s house waiting till after lunch, cause that’s when my parents, aunts and uncles would pull out their envelopes stuffed with cash to be distributed… You’d line up and put on your best smile hoping this aunt or that uncle would recognize the effort you were putting into this sham so you could get your grubby hands on some more money… one of the funniest things I ever saw was two kids during eid with one of them holding his wallet flashing the other kid his cash. His comment was “Even if your dad went to the market to sell you, he couldn’t fetch this much money.” Money, it makes the world go round with all those greedy hands chasing it. There we some great aspects of getting all this money, you could go and buy whatever you wanted and nobody ever raised an eyebrow. Toy stores and Candy shops made a killing during these three days… It was like a tradition among us kids in my family, that after lunch, everyone would head to the store with his or her newfound wealth… There we would be kings and spend a part of our cash on candy, chips, sugar water and anything else that seemed like a waste of money, it didn’t matter, we were rolling in it.. What was a couple of dinars blown on candy… (Note: a couple of dinars spent on candy in Bahrain means, a boatload of candy). The funny thing about Eid and getting money was how you’d always remember who was stingy or generous… you’d soon also find out who from the family friends that would visit was going to give you cash.. and you’d play everything to your advantage, be extra nice, stay in their sight once they pull out the cash, fake an injury… anything to get your hands on money..

As I get older I start to realize the other traditions that were overshadowed by the money aspect of Eid. On the first day, I’d get cajoled out of my sleep by my father to go and welcome the Eid with prayers at the mosque with the other men from my family. This is probably the few times that I visit the mosque all year long, but it’s a tradition that reminds me of my grandfather, and it’s always good to remember the good people in your life. After the prayers (that always seemed like an eternity), we’d head back to my house where my mom would cook up a breakfast of champions… I’m talking different types of cheeses spread out on the tables, sliced fruit and vegetables, juices, tea, coffee, freshly baked bread, and eggs served anyway you wanted. That to me was the real way to break in the end of Ramadan, with a huge breakfast… Family is one of the fundamental pillars of the Middle Eastern social structure, and it’s times like this when you really see that…

After breakfast, the children start arriving.. As I mentioned earlier we give out money in Eid, and all the neighborhood kids dress up in the best clothes for Eid and go from door to door Trick or Treating so to speak.. but instead of candy, they get coins… Over the years we’ve had some of the funniest eid stories, kids would show up to our house and my mom would give him money, then they’d either wait it out till someone else in my family is distributing before they try again… Another scam these kids would pull, was once they’d make their rounds across the neighborhood, they’d go back home and change their clothes and make another round, hoping people wouldn’t recognize them.. Pretty smart if you ask me… The only annoying thing is that these kids just keep on coming for three days of Eid, wave after wave. The first day is definitely the worst with your doorbell going off every couple of minutes, but it soon eases up…

During the first and Second days of Eid, lunch is always with family, First day: we head over to my grandmother’s house (Paternal), which is now just an empty shell of memories after my grandmother and aunt passed away. The fare is what I call classic Bahraini comfort food, rice, chicken, meat curry, fish, so delicious… My aunts have kept their tradition and do all the cooking together, bringing such a great holiday atmosphere… the food is so good, that a short nap after lunch is essential for digestion… After your nap, you’d wake up for tea and dessert and that’s when things get loud again… Once all the desserts are all laid out, my cousin assumes his role of master of desserts, slicing and serving everything up. Instead of having everyone kneeling all over the desserts, you place your order and a bowl of sweets accompanied by a cup of tea makes it’s way to you - Perfect… It’s around dessert when you start to really appreciate your family and just being with them to celebrate the holidays… I remember what it was like in college in the U.S., Eid was just another day to you… it’s not like you could take 3 days off from school or even 3 days off from work… Some friend would offer to cook lunch for everyone, but lets face it, it doesn’t have the touch of flavor and love that your mom, aunt, grandmother, etc. puts into your holiday meal. Believe me, when you’re celebrating Eid with a frozen pizza or Chinese delivery, that’s when you really start missing your family…

Lunch on the Second day of Eid is always celebrated with my mom’s side of the family, and everyone comes over to our house. That’s where my mom cooks up a storm and there’s every dish you could possibly think of and some extra for good measure… I don’t know of a better cook than my mother, and I can only hope my wife will be able to match her expertise in the kitchen… yeah yeah yeah I know what you’re thinking chauvinistic mama’s boy, well you try mom’s cooking and then you’ll know what I’m talking about… After a huge lunch with the entire family, and a much-needed nap, the men break away to their regular card game, while the women sit around talking. Everyone has a family card game, there are the usual players and then as the times have gone by, new recruits have joined the ranks. Being invited to sit and play with the men their regular card game is a pretty big deal, that card game is the most serious thing that happens during Eid and being asked to play means you are no longer a boy and are now amongst the men. The kids are all over the place running around, being totally annoying showing off their newfound wealth (they’re kids: I don’t expect them to be upstanding citizens). This is when you remember the good times and fun you had celebrating Eid as a kid.. Part of me wants to go back to being a kid, where my biggest concern is finding the best hiding place for hide and go seek with my cousins, and how many pieces of bubble gum you could fit in your mouth…

The third and final day day is where we get to rest, two days of family can be a lot, so it’s the third day when you’ve got the freedom to pretty much do whatever you feel like doing.. lunch, no lunch, I’m just thankful that I have one extra day to wind down the holiday…

Well I’m still rambling on… Just thought I’d share my experiences and how I felt about Eid to someone who’s never celebrated this grand holiday. Anyways Eid Mubarak Everybody! And boy am I glad I don’t have to fast for another 11 months…

Cheeseburgers...

Ok a little about myself… I love cheeseburgers… I love cheeseburgers so much , I can eat one, and then wait a bit and then eat another 20… single or double, ketchup and mayo, or ketchup and mustard, or just ketchup… lettuce, tomatoes, melted cheese, onions, pickles, and a sesame bun. It just doesn’t get any better than that… I think I’m going to dedicate this post to CHEESEBURGERS IN BAHRAIN!!!

You can’t talk about cheeseburgers in Bahrain without bowing down to Jan Burger. Those of you that know what I’m talking about are probably nodding your head in agreement.. I commend you on your good taste… Jan Burger started out in the mid-nineties in Bahrain with one location in Hoora, and it was not long before they started opening up branches all over the island. Don’t expect an experience in fine dining, or in corporate fast food efficiency… Expect a kick ass burger… First off, they do all their cooking over a charcoal grill (kudos on that one – there’s nothing like that barbequed burger taste)… Second, they use basic ingredients, but it’s their secret process that keeps it all together (I’ll get into that in a bit)… Third it’s local… and I don’t care how good that BigMac tastes (pretty damn), but Jan will always be Jan…

It’s a very simple establishment: do you want a regular Jan burger or the Big Jan (double patty) : beef or chicken (both equally good)… as your food’s being grilled, they prepare the buns with all the fixings: lettuce, tomatoes, cheese (if you want it) and ketchup… Once the burger is done and prepared, it’s wrapped in Aluminum foil and then put back on the grill for a short period of time… Although I’m not too sure what happens with this added process, but allow me to describe the outcome: Everything harmonizes together… the meat, cheese, and bread all get stuck together while the juice from the meat softens the bread leaving you with a symphony of flavors and textures…. I’m getting so hungry just thinking about this… In my book, Jan Burger is definitely the best burger in Bahrain…

Next up we have Jasmis – the original Bahraini fast food burger joint… let me tell you something, we’ve got McDonalds, We’ve got Burger King, but Jasmis is on another level… Maybe cause it’s a local institution that I’m partial to it, but you can’t avoid the fact that they’ve taken the best sandwiches from BK and McDonalds and Jasmisized them… They’ve got the Big J (the big mac’s long lost brother), the Special and Mini J (from the whopper family, yet slightly different), and all the other additions to the menu… I grew up eating Jasmis, and I have to admit, that they will always have a special place in my heart… Watching a local company beat the odds, establish a name, and cook up a good fast junky foodish burger? Doesn’t get any better…
Local burgers are pretty good, if you find the right place with the right ingredients… to me the right ingredient to make the perfect burger is love… you need to squeeze that minced meat in your hand as you add your ingredients. Caress the patties as you shape them… You can’t tell me that sizzling sound when you place the patties on the grill isn’t heavenly on your ears… the grill mark inspection once you flip over the burger… The billowing smoke carrying that charred meat scent filling up your nostrils… the way the cheese melts giving your burger excellent cheese to meat surface coverage… those thickly sliced onions that get thrown on the grill for good measure… whoa… I can’t believe it’s the third week in Ramadan… I am starving… listen to me, writing about cheeseburgers…

Ramadanz

Ramadan is upon us… I have to admit I’ve been a great Muslim and have abstained from all my vices for this month… it’s too bad that I’m just a total hypocrite and will revert to my horrible sense in 30 days. The bright side to all of this: at least I get to self inflict a mandatory detoxification period… my liver is probably thanking me and working to get itself back to functional operating capacity.
Everyone knows about Ramadan, if you don’t then read up about it, I’m not going to delve into the workings and teachings of the month (don’t want to step on anyone’s toes). But this is Ramadan to me: I don’t particularly care if you observe to fast or not, actually I don’t care if you choose to be a Muslim or not, do whatever you want, I’m not going to interfere with what you’ve got going on, just as long as you don’t come barking up my tree.
Anyways the whole country is fasting from sunrise to sunset, and the first week is total hell, people are getting over their nicotine and caffeine addictions in the mornings.. the pounding headaches, the shivers, cause you’re so hungry; it’s not a pretty sight… It’s during the second week that the body stabilizes and you can slowly deal with fasting and everything is pretty cool… the third week is when you remember that it’s the third week and you start counting down the days till it’s over… but counting down the days is horrible because time moves so slowly when you’re looking at it… when you’re at the final week, it’s been so long you forget how what breakfast tastes like, you think eggs in the morning? You mean I’m allowed to eat? Whoa…
I’m not knocking the month down, actually to me Ramadan is the start of our holiday season – I really enjoy getting into the spirit of things… During Ramadan, you break your fast at sunset – around 5ish and then spend the next hour or two at the mercy of your television. This is an advertising executive’s wet dream… So you can imagine the money that’s spent on advertising, tv shows, anything to keep you happy and occupied. All shops are open later… and I mean much later… with different raffles and promotions… Since you can’t drink, hotels and other fine establishments pitch huge tents in their parking lots and give people a place to meet up, giving you that classically Arabic feel while parting you from your money… These Ramadan tents are a sham – but still can be a lot of fun if you’ve got a good group of friends with you…
Ramadan is also a month where your hours are totally readjusted… if you went to bed every night at 11, well now you should sleep at 12 or 1, this is what I like to call Ramadan savings time… Because no one does anything during the daytime, after breaking your fast is when Bahrain and most Muslim nations pick up again… Vendors are open late (midnight is average) you can get a cheeseburger up until 4 am… Apart from the tents and eating, Ramadan is also a month of socializing… Hosts open up their doors to throw parties where people get together, eat, smoke sheesha, play cards, eat some more, and socialize…
Today’s the 11th day of Ramadan over a third of the way through… second week stabilization is coming to an end, and pretty soon, I’ll be counting the days down when I’ll be able to have breakfast again… My liver is recuperating, but I just can’t get over the fact that I can’t have breakfast or lunch…arrgghhh… It’s very strange, but I like eating when it’s light outside… for those Muslims reading this, good luck… and remember, Islam is between you and god, don’t let anyone else dictate how you’re supposed to feel and how you’re supposed to think…

Good day and god bless

Absee...

I was driving to work the other morning and out of nowhere this old beat up Toyota Corolla cuts me off… Now this being Bahrain the first thing you’d normally experience is a sudden rush of road rage where you want reach to the back seat pull out that sawed off shotgun you save for occasions like this and put a huge dent in the guy’s head.. but today something was different.. I noticed a sticker on the back window of the car... It was just a regular sticker of a guy with his hair tied at the top of his head. It took me a couple of seconds to register that the sticker was none other than “Absee” from the greatest cartoon of my childhood: “Adnan Wa Leena”
Here’s my famous bridging the cultural gap trick watch this: “Adnan Wa Leena,” literally translated is Adnan and Leena.. The rest of the world know him as FUTURE BOY CONAN, how cool was that?? This is one of the coolest cartoon series’ to come out of Japan… Wonderfully created from the imagination of Miyazaki (the genius that brought the world Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away naming a few) Anyways the story is based on Earth after the third world war, a new world order has taken over and they want everyone to reform to their ways. There’s only one hitch, there’s a small group of islands that have resisted and the story takes many different turns that I can’t remember. Anyways the main character is the boy Adnan (Conan) his girl Leena and his best friend Absee the hippie (I think).. Absee was definitely the coolest, hair tied in a topknot, smoker, obnoxious, and brave…
Absee represented everything you wanted to be… first of all he had no parents, and when you were 6, that was the coolest thing in the world. You never saw Absee taking a bath, unless he was diving into the sea to go spear fishing or something totally cool like that.. He was tough enough to beat the living daylights out of those bad soldiers, but still not brave enough to lead the front line… I even remember one episode where he was rolling some “tobacco-like” substance and smoking it… can you say non-conformist?
I’m not saying that this was a quality cartoon that instilled good morals and gave off a meaningful message to the kids. But this was a cartoon that defined my childhood and brought a human element to the tv… there were no falling anvils, no ACME rockets, no talking animals, no martians nothing.. Just a bunch of kids living in a community that was trying to resist takeover by a Nuclear - Power Hungry World Order that’s hell bent on domination and its Commander, that’s all…
I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I think what I’m trying to say is where are the cartoons of yesteryear? We didn’t have any toned down violence… No, we had hardcore skull crushing – jaw breaking action.. And if there wasn’t any action you can be damn sure that there was a lot of bright lights flashing… Cartoons today are just losing their battle to computer animations, over controlling parents, and bad production… I mean every cartoon I can remember as a kid had a fantastic well thought out story.. today’s junk is all about morals and about keeping the environment clean and making cartoons fun and educational.. Bullshit….Bring back the great stories and the excellent animation…. And if anyone knows where I can find an Absee sticker.. please let me know..

an Intro to Bahraini Rants

Well I guess I need to write something about something here right? so this is my first time using a blog, I've been a longtime reader but blogging isn't really my forte, so you’ll have to bear with my first couple of posts..

I just started this new thing cause I really feel we don't really have a good medium to discuss to the random things I think about... The web is saturated with new sites about current events, conspiracy theories, soci-political events, intellectual bru-ha and all that good stuff. This is not one of those blogs.. This is a blog where (pardon the expression) I can put my mental masturbation somewhere on display for the world to laugh, ridicule and relate to...

So what is Bahraini Ranting? To be totally honest I don’t really know.. let me start by giving you a quick intro to where I am on the map..

for those of you that have heard of Bahrain or live here, there's really no need to read the following section.. for the rest of you folk that think Bahrain is the town right next to Boise, allow me to begin.. I don't really want to post anything that you can find from a country factbook so I'll give you an insider's take..

Bahrain: Small island kingdom, pretty arid - but has a glorious history of being the mythical setting of the Garden of Eden. Don't know if you know who Gilgamesh was, well he was the super hero of the Mesopotamians (the first civilization in recorded history)... Anyways Gilgamesh apparently found his way to Bahrain searching for immortality… anyways he finds the flower of life.. yadda yadda yadda.. and he’s immortal.. that was thousands of years ago, let me paint a picture of today’s Bahrain: a major bustling financial center for the middle east.. Restaurants, shopping malls, world’s largest bowl of cereal, hotels, F1 Racing Circuit and so much more… We still haven’t hit the million mark in terms of population, but that makes getting to know everyone so much easier. Life can get a little island feverish, but it’s nothing you can’t handle… ok I’m going to save more details about Bahrain for future blogs..

Anyways I’ll be posting a lot more pretty soon.. just wanted to give you a small intro.. a taste of what’s to come.. So be good, remember You never jump out of a plane without a parachute – know what I’m saying?