my infatuation with sports...

What is it with about a man that makes him grunt and cheer the television when a sports game is on? I love watching sports, I grunt, in fact I do more than just grunting… I’ve been known to straddle the tv as the New England Patriots score the game winning touchdown… & I’ve been known to throw a cup of chocolate pudding at the screen, when Referee Byron Moreno (you asshole) made all those stupid nonsensical calls during the Italy Vs Croatia game during the 2002 world cup… I’m a guy and I love sports… I can’t help it… I can watch Football, basketball, baseball, hockey, American football, darts, snooker, cricket, boxing, curling, etc… you name the sport and as long as there is a definite winner and a loser (ties are ok too), I’ll watch…

In my short live span, I’ve endured a lot of feelings associated with being a sports fan: the thrill of watching your team beat the clear favorites, supporting the winning team, and the pains and heartbreak that comes along with a losing team.. I’ve seen and felt it all… and this is an important thing, it’s a very important life experience for men… Sports teach you when to be cocky and flaunt your team’s victories, when to rub the defeat into the crying loser’s face, and it teaches you when to shut it and eat your humble pie…

Sports are something women just can’t seem to fully grasp… I know that women can compete in sports and enjoy sports and have been known to be avid fans, but they don’t understand the stupid things men do for sports. You don’t see any women streaking during a sports game… you don’t see women storming the field to beat the living daylight out of the referee on that dodgy call… Women just can’t seem to grasp that Neanderthal intensity we have towards sports. To us, sports are the most important beautiful things in this world, right up there with giving birth. There’s nothing like opening up your closet on game day, and reaching into the pile of clothes for your teams’ Jersey. You don that tunic of champions (props falco) thinking you’ve just made the difference between winning and losing… You’ve got this new lease on life because you’re ready to bring it on: the cheers the jumping, the name-calling, the swearing and the booze (when you’re winning your buying and when you’re losing you’re drowning). On that match day, anything can happen and you’re pretty confident that whatever happens, it’ll be in your team’s favor. Supporting a team is a lifelong commitment, there’s no room for fair-weather fans – I can’t stand ’em nor should anyone… you might stop cheering for them for a while, you might decide to take up another sport, but that team will always be in your heart…

In my opinion watching the game with friends is integral to your viewing pleasure. Who’s gonna give you that high five on that fantastic three pointer? Who’s gonna back you up when you yell “CHEATING” to the referee? Who’s gonna talk back smack when you piss all over his team? That’s what friends are for…

The only distractions allowed during game time are ones that involve the bathroom, food, cigarettes, or another pint… Blocking someone’s view is considered uncouth and childish, flaunting your victory and making fart noises on the other hand is fair game… The only thing better than watching one game is watching two games at the same time with another two coming up afterwards… Saturday is my day… that’s when the English Premier League has it’s matchdays, and that’s when I basically tune out the rest of the world from lunchtime, till passing out time… Sundays are reserved for some more English, Italian and Spanish League football and gridiron football – does it get any better? Yes it does: “dadada dadada dadada da daaah” – I love that Monday night football theme…

Sublime passes, bone crunching tackles, decisive moments, bad calls, good calls, double plays, ball control, pure class (thank you zizou), freak injuries, counter attacks, high scoring games, and last second efforts that make it through… that’s why I love sports
LET ME HEAR AN AMEN IF YOU’RE WITH ME!!!