I rant you risten

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Ramadan Ramblings

So I just want to get out and say something about Ramadan.. “I’m done, I’ve had enough, the show’s over, someone call the cleaners.. I need an 11 month vacation from Ramadan before I can tackle it again”. Before you lambaste me with hate mail, let me get on the record and say, I love Ramadan, I enjoy the spirituality of this holy month, but there are other things that do get under my skin..

I miss breakfast – I really do, I wish I could have some coffee, have an omelet, hell, I’ll even settle for toast on butter with jam.. juice in the morning.. chocolate milk.. chbood sandwiches with crystal hot sauce.. I miss my breakfast. For the past 4 weeks or so, I’ve deprived my body of the essential nutrients and caffeinated products that make my day a little more stimulated.. 30 days of not eating something will make you forget how good it tastes.. I miss you chocolate milk, you’re my only real friend..

I’m tired of walking into a the supermarket before it’s time to break my fast needing only to pick up some cheese, pasta and heavy cream – and then walk out with a 5 pound bag of peanut M&Ms, three different types of pasta, chips, chocolate bars, a number of bottles of the overpriced starbucks coffee milk in a two sip glass bottle, some more chips, cookies, crackers, 3 pounds of ground beef, and a block of cheese.. Never walk into a supermarket when you’re hungry, cause you’ll end up buying more than you need..

Not that this is any different when it’s not Ramadan, but frantic driving is also a pain in the arse.. Right before futoor, everyone’s so hungry and they’re all heading to their parents/aunt/grandparents/insert appropriate family member’s name here to break their fast. Just fathom this recipe: hungry population, on arab time (which I don’t have to tell you is eternally 27 minutes late), with a tendency to drive recklessly and speed incessantly = madness on the roads.. you can’t help it yourself, it’s a kill or be killed type of environment…

Food food and more food.. I can’t believe how much Ramadan comfort food you get to eat during this month - enough to put you off basmati for a while.. Meat, Chicken, Rice, curry, Thareed, Mathroobah, samboosas and fried tidbits, qatayif, legaymat, etc... you break your fast with some dates and maybe drink some laban (light and nutritious), then you move onto the rice and meat, and then there’s the thareed (basically curry poured onto bread making it really soggy, meaty bread pudding), then there’s the tray of your favorite fried friends, there’s always a couple of more random dishes that someone was craving and had to be made.. After all of that stuffing, you then sit down, guzzle two cups of tea, some coffee, then there’s fried pastries and cream filled pastries, chopped nuts, fruits, and the list goes on - enough sugar to give an elephant a rush. Once you’re done with this huge meal (that you have for 30 days) then you start your evening and plan out what you need to do..

The tempers.. We all know how Ramadan is about patience, but sometimes it’s very difficult to control your hunger pangs.. these same hunger pangs transform themselves into headaches, which then magically become spewed mistimed snide remarks that have a way of building up into a full blown argument with name calling and lines drawn – all over why there is no vimto in the house.. Delightful..

The nighttime scheduling.. everything goes on at night, nothing happens during the day.. you go to a Ramadan Ghabgah (party) and no one starts showing up before 10-10:30… no one eats till about 11:30 (if you’ve got a nice host) and most of the time, it’s the same comfort food that was mentioned two paragraphs ago.. I miss daylight.. Birdman wouldn’t last one minute fasting Ramadan without the power of the Sun..

I can’t believe how much food I managed to bring into this post....

Happy Eid people.. you won’t have to endure this whining for another 11 lunar months..


Cerebralwaste said...


Glad you resurfaced! I was just about to send a posse out to located you, knock you over the head and drag you back to your keyboard and make you POST SOMETHING!! You have been gone TOO LONG!!

Great post as usual and I wish you a happy upcoming EID.

See you soon I hope!

Anonymous said...


You forgot to mention sitting in front of the TV after futoor watching Ads over and over! Seriously, this month puts the superbowl to shame. The quality, however, is another issue altogether.

L said...

As a westerner in this country, it was difficult to wrap my head around the fact that there are people willingly going without food and water for 30 whole days! Now, after experiencing it twice (about 4 years apart) I'm pretty used to the idea, though I still miss going out for breakfast and coffee. And I couldn't agree more about the drivers!

Anonymous said...

I just don't understand you, why to complain when you can eat? Who force you to fast 30 days? After all God says if the person's intention is not good then his fasting will be just a hunger without any rewards. Well I would like to believe that you got your rewards and Allah knows best.

Try harder next time, brother.

Sabri Hakim said...

Happy Eid

Anonymous said...

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen man. Honestly, I've never fasted a day in my life and probably never will. However, I don't let ramadhan get to me because I have breakfast in the morning and eat lunch right after work and never turn on any arabic channels as to avoid all the bullshit programs that have a lower production value than SNL in the 70s. With that said, you shouldn't be complaining. If you don't wanna starve, don't fast. If depriving your body of essential elements like oxygen (found in water, hey... your cells gotta eat too you know) makes sense to you, then go ahead and have a feeling of accomplishment. If you want to be a normal human, then just ignore this freakshow. Thats how I survive.

Kaleidoscope said...

What about all the sexual temptations that run rampant during Ramadan? It's like a stampede waiting to happen when Eid rolls around the corner.

It's good to have you on Kaleidoscope.