Ok People, this is it, I’ve been cruising to my music on random and I’ve written out the lyrics to 30 tracks from the ‘pod… It’s your job to figure out the Artist and Track title: I’m sure you can cheat your way through this one, but it’s no fun like that… answers will be posted in a couple of days or next week, who knows… some of the lyrics might be off, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got ‘em all… let see how good you guys are at guessing random music…
1- Ma hip-hop will rock and shock the nation like the emancipation proclamation
2- Light me up a cigarette as I strap shoes on my feet
3- I took her home to my place, watching every move on her face
4- Everyday I thank god for roses, they’re the closest thing to perfect next to you
5- And now we meet in an abandoned studio
6- High on Diesel and Gasoline, psycho for drum-machine
7- When you’re on a holiday…
8- At night I can’t sleep, I toss and turn, candlesticks in the dark, visions of bodies being burned.
9- There must be something in the way I feel cause she don’t want me to feel
10- A man walks down the street, he says why am I soft in the middle now?
11- We live on a mountain, right at the top, this beautiful view, from the top of the mountain
12- Cause if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need…
13- Sitting here resting my bones, and this loneliness wont leave me alone
14- Everything has changed, absolutely nothing’s changed, take my hand…
15- Doing all the don’ts and never looking back is the way I ought to be
16- We gonna Dance all night to this Dj, sugar, dance all night to this dj..
17- Oh yeah you’re skin and bones
18- Coming to ya, on a dusty road, good loving, I gotta a truck load
19- I must have died and gone to heaven cause it was a quarter past eleven
20- Dark as the night cold as the ground as the circular solitude of my heart…
21- Making love in the afternoon…
22- It’s always tease tease tease, you’re happy when I’m on my knees
23- I used to go out to parties, and stand around, cause I was too nervous to really get down
24- One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain, so hit me with music, hit with music, brutalize me with music.
25- People try to put us down…
26- Very superstitious, writings on the wall…
27- Well I guess what they say is true.. I could never spend my life with a man like you
28- when I’m walking , I strut my stuff and I’m so strung out
29- So wide you can’t get around it, so low you can’t get under it
30- Last night I had a dream about you, in this dream I’m dancing right beside you…
ANSWERS HAVE BEEN POSTED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION
Monday, December 27, 2004
Thursday, December 23, 2004
one track mind
SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX
Do I have your attention now? Can I go off on a rant? Good… we’ve got serious issues here in Bahrain; everyone’s a sex addict… People getting turned on from staring at lingerie shop windows, while others are checking out jailbait at shopping malls, gold diggers ready to exchange a little nookie for a Gucci bag, we even have cases where a guy catches a girl having sex with someone and then blackmails her to have sex with him or risk her reputation being tarnished… everyone… male or female has their ass checked out here… we’re a vile and sick society when it comes to sex… What makes it so is that all of this happens behind closed doors… It’s all a big secret this sex fetish we have… We’re really a nice culture and great society, honest… So why does this all happen? Is it too much or too little religion? Is it the fact that we segregate our schools or is it because we don’t segregate our schools enough? Is it because we’ve adopted too many western ideas and that are clashing with our traditional views? Is it the fact that we’re in denial that we have a problem? I think it’s a little bit of everything and it’s a matter that needs to be brought out to the open…
Girls here want to get married to get out from under the rules of their parents, so they can finally start living. Parents are so quick to get rid of their daughters, that they’ll marry them off to anyone with a little bit of money and fake persona… Guys are so horny that they’ve resorted to lying to girls about marriage to get into their pants, and girls are so horny that they believe them… People get molested every day: at the office, at home, at places of worship, everywhere… are you disgusted? There’s a lot more… Homosexuality is rampant and that’s fine (can’t get upset over someone’s sexual preference), but people here actually distinguish the “homo” as the person who ‘receives’ not the person who ‘administers’… that’s what makes someone gay or not? You gotta be fucking kidding me… and these pretty boys go for shocking more than just being… I mean is it because you were so repressed that you need to resort to expressing your sexuality in such a blatant manner? Has society done this? Telling you it’s a sickness? Homosexuality has existed for centuries, come to terms with it don’t push it underground…
Oh, do everything but preserve your virginity dear… no one likes damaged goods… you fucking hypocrites, I can go stick my dick in anything with a heartbeat, but she can’t find out what sex feels like? (but she does, it’s just that she’ll do everything ‘butt’ let you break her hymen). The manoovers (thanks BMD) you have to go through to meet someone… Everyone here lies, everyone here is not honest with themselves or with anyone else… Our society dictates how we’re supposed to think, yet we all think like animals, so what does that say about our society? Married men cheating on their wives, while their wives sit there quietly taking it all, repressing all that pain. Wives substituting money for love, leaving their husbands with the task of satisfying themselves… Or are we that much worse than anywhere else..
Girls getting harassed walking down a street; expatriates getting harassed on the street, anyone getting harassed… When did we all become such perverts? Or have we always been perverts? There’s so much more, I can go on and on for days… Prostitution is prevalent; the oldest profession in world still barely makes the newspapers, and everyone’s feigning ignorance… What a great excuse ignorance is… when are we all going to wake up and realize how this is affecting us? Life can be so much more than flaunting what you’ve got on your cell phone… The onus is always on the woman to cover herself up, to not entice my sex enraged hormones… And why is this the case? That it’s always my sex enraged hormones? People here consider me a sexual deviant, and that the woman needs to cover up, needs to be careful walking down the street, needs to hide her beauty, because apparently, I can’t just admire it, I need to fantasize to it… Is this what people want me to be? A predator? Or am I supposed to live in such fear for my loved ones that I need to constantly remain on guard the whole time? What are we all about?
I gotta say there’s a lot of good to us, it’s there you can see it for yourself on a daily basis, we just need to get out of this thing we’ve fallen into… find the funk and unleash it people…
Do I have your attention now? Can I go off on a rant? Good… we’ve got serious issues here in Bahrain; everyone’s a sex addict… People getting turned on from staring at lingerie shop windows, while others are checking out jailbait at shopping malls, gold diggers ready to exchange a little nookie for a Gucci bag, we even have cases where a guy catches a girl having sex with someone and then blackmails her to have sex with him or risk her reputation being tarnished… everyone… male or female has their ass checked out here… we’re a vile and sick society when it comes to sex… What makes it so is that all of this happens behind closed doors… It’s all a big secret this sex fetish we have… We’re really a nice culture and great society, honest… So why does this all happen? Is it too much or too little religion? Is it the fact that we segregate our schools or is it because we don’t segregate our schools enough? Is it because we’ve adopted too many western ideas and that are clashing with our traditional views? Is it the fact that we’re in denial that we have a problem? I think it’s a little bit of everything and it’s a matter that needs to be brought out to the open…
Girls here want to get married to get out from under the rules of their parents, so they can finally start living. Parents are so quick to get rid of their daughters, that they’ll marry them off to anyone with a little bit of money and fake persona… Guys are so horny that they’ve resorted to lying to girls about marriage to get into their pants, and girls are so horny that they believe them… People get molested every day: at the office, at home, at places of worship, everywhere… are you disgusted? There’s a lot more… Homosexuality is rampant and that’s fine (can’t get upset over someone’s sexual preference), but people here actually distinguish the “homo” as the person who ‘receives’ not the person who ‘administers’… that’s what makes someone gay or not? You gotta be fucking kidding me… and these pretty boys go for shocking more than just being… I mean is it because you were so repressed that you need to resort to expressing your sexuality in such a blatant manner? Has society done this? Telling you it’s a sickness? Homosexuality has existed for centuries, come to terms with it don’t push it underground…
Oh, do everything but preserve your virginity dear… no one likes damaged goods… you fucking hypocrites, I can go stick my dick in anything with a heartbeat, but she can’t find out what sex feels like? (but she does, it’s just that she’ll do everything ‘butt’ let you break her hymen). The manoovers (thanks BMD) you have to go through to meet someone… Everyone here lies, everyone here is not honest with themselves or with anyone else… Our society dictates how we’re supposed to think, yet we all think like animals, so what does that say about our society? Married men cheating on their wives, while their wives sit there quietly taking it all, repressing all that pain. Wives substituting money for love, leaving their husbands with the task of satisfying themselves… Or are we that much worse than anywhere else..
Girls getting harassed walking down a street; expatriates getting harassed on the street, anyone getting harassed… When did we all become such perverts? Or have we always been perverts? There’s so much more, I can go on and on for days… Prostitution is prevalent; the oldest profession in world still barely makes the newspapers, and everyone’s feigning ignorance… What a great excuse ignorance is… when are we all going to wake up and realize how this is affecting us? Life can be so much more than flaunting what you’ve got on your cell phone… The onus is always on the woman to cover herself up, to not entice my sex enraged hormones… And why is this the case? That it’s always my sex enraged hormones? People here consider me a sexual deviant, and that the woman needs to cover up, needs to be careful walking down the street, needs to hide her beauty, because apparently, I can’t just admire it, I need to fantasize to it… Is this what people want me to be? A predator? Or am I supposed to live in such fear for my loved ones that I need to constantly remain on guard the whole time? What are we all about?
I gotta say there’s a lot of good to us, it’s there you can see it for yourself on a daily basis, we just need to get out of this thing we’ve fallen into… find the funk and unleash it people…
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
virtual tikka tour
Flashback: sometime in the early 80s… location: outside 5 star tikka joint in Manama… setting: dad’s car… players: my dad, brother, sister and myself… memory: Tikka experience 101…
I have no idea where to start with this one… I mean Bahraini Tikka, wow, it’s a phenomenon that you can’t really explain in a post… you have to actually sit there and immerse yourself in a tradition that’s been experienced by generations to get the right feel of it… First off, Tikka is bite sized marinated pieces of meat and fat on a long skewer that is grilled to perfection (but there’s so much more). Kabab (not to be mistaken with Kebab) is grilled minced meat with spices also grilled on a flat skewer… so if you will follow me, I’m going to attempt to take you’re taste buds on a Virtual Tikka tour.
There are many Tikka joints scattered around the island, some are really basic, while others go the extra mile… Every major town has a couple of tikka joints of notable mention. BIG UPS to: TIKKA ABUL, TIKKA AMIN, ASIR, TIKAA AJEEB, and MANDALY… Entering one of these fine establishments you immediately realize that there’s no maitre d, no napkins, and consider yourself lucky if you find bottled water… But I’ll tell you what you do find: a long rectangular grill with a width no greater than 13 inches, filled with red hot coals ready for that grilling experience of a lifetime, wholesome barbequed comfort food, and a messy meal with a tradition to it…
Skewers normally cost 100 fils (28 cents US), and you’d usually order your quantities in half dinar (500 fils) or dinar amounts… So there you are in a no frills Tikka joint… Yer Hungry, so you place a half a dinar order of tikka, a half a dinar order of kabab, take your can of preferred carbonated beverage and wait for your meat… for the sake of my childhood memories we’re going enjoy this virtual tikka experience the way my dad made his kids enjoy it, in the car… His reasoning behind this was that the place was too dirty to eat in, but you didn’t want to drive all the way home in the car and risk having your meat get cold and the fat solidify (solidified marinated fat isn’t appetizing, take my word for it). I digress… Allow me to explain the cooking method involved in grilling your tikka. The griller arranges the skewers on the grill and lets the hot coals serve their purpose (sometimes there’s a little electric fan directed to the grill to keep the fire going). The skewers are arranged with a couple of pieces of meat followed by a piece of fat, this is very important cause you need a little bit of fat to melt and drizzle onto the meat. The sizzling doesn’t stop until the griller decides it’s time and he flips all the skewers to get the other side nicely charred. Once the meat’s cooked, a huge piece of Iranian bread (think thin pita bread with the diameter of a medium/large pizza) is folded in half and by properly holding the fold, the meat easily slides off the skewer (I know, it’s hard to explain, you just have to see to understand it).
All of a sudden, there’s a knock at your window and there’s “Qamar-el-din” the man of the moment with a plastic bag filled with a bunch of aluminum foil wrapped bundles (if he’s nice, he might have some extra plates for you to enjoy your meal on)… You take out one of the aluminum bundles and unwrap it to find a whole lot of Iranian bread rolled up in a mini parcel, once you unravel the bread, you’re nostrils are immediately greeted with the smell of succulent grilled meat… mmmm… There’s a paper bag filled with your required veggies: Bagul, onion slices, green chilies, and lemon wedges… Bagul looks like thick blades of grass, but tastes pretty good (it’s all part of the experience, bear with me)…. Take the lemon wedge and squeeze the juice all over your meat, then tear of a piece of bread, arrange some bagul and onion and then add some of the meat and all of a sudden you’ve got your first bite… The combination in your mouth takes your taste buds on a heavenly roller coaster and you start wondering how can you eat this everyday for the rest of your life… The meat is hot and juicy with the lemon juice enhancing it’s flavor, while the bagul and onion provide you with that raw veggie “good for you” filler taste. The whole thing is wrapped up in bread making it easier to eat since everything is arranged in a mini roll… Some people hate the fat and some people love the fat, I don’t mind it as long as long as part of it is burnt and has that marinated lemony crispy yet soft center taste to it… Over the years, various tikka joints have improved their variety offering different types of marinades: yogurt, lemon, chili, and tomatoes (they’re all good depending on your taste and they still retain the original flavor of the meat). Kabab meat is served and eaten just the same as the tikka except the meat is minced and a lot softer. The spices used in the meat mix are complemented with the grilling style delivering a wonderfully flavored meat. I personally cannot make up my mind, which tastes better, so I usually end up ordering both, as should you…
Personally, the best part of the meal is the oily bread… Think of the tikka parcel like the earth, and the meat is the core. It’s then wrapped in layer after layer of bread (Gurss – the actual “loaf” - if you want the Bahraini lingo). The inside layer is soaking up all the juices and oils from the meat flavoring the bread and making it so moist… mmm heavenly… I know what you’re thinking… I need me some tikka right now… I couldn’t agree with you more…
WARNING: Sometimes eating tikka leaves a film of fat that covers the roof of your mouth… It doesn’t taste like fat, but it does taste like there’s an artificial film coating the roof of your mouth and can be a small price to pay for the taste. I’ve found a good way to combat this unwanted after effect: whiskey, but vodka works just as well… I’m not a scientist, but I’ll tell you the higher the proof the easier it is to breakdown the film in your mouth…
Tikka is a Bahraini tradition that’s slowly losing it’s fight to corporate fast food… Keep your memories and enjoy tikka, it’s much cheaper than buying a burger meal, and you’ve just helped local businesses survive a little longer… Bad tikka joints do exist, I just experienced it this weekend, but that shouldn’t deter you, there are many great eateries just waiting for your appetite and money…
I have no idea where to start with this one… I mean Bahraini Tikka, wow, it’s a phenomenon that you can’t really explain in a post… you have to actually sit there and immerse yourself in a tradition that’s been experienced by generations to get the right feel of it… First off, Tikka is bite sized marinated pieces of meat and fat on a long skewer that is grilled to perfection (but there’s so much more). Kabab (not to be mistaken with Kebab) is grilled minced meat with spices also grilled on a flat skewer… so if you will follow me, I’m going to attempt to take you’re taste buds on a Virtual Tikka tour.
There are many Tikka joints scattered around the island, some are really basic, while others go the extra mile… Every major town has a couple of tikka joints of notable mention. BIG UPS to: TIKKA ABUL, TIKKA AMIN, ASIR, TIKAA AJEEB, and MANDALY… Entering one of these fine establishments you immediately realize that there’s no maitre d, no napkins, and consider yourself lucky if you find bottled water… But I’ll tell you what you do find: a long rectangular grill with a width no greater than 13 inches, filled with red hot coals ready for that grilling experience of a lifetime, wholesome barbequed comfort food, and a messy meal with a tradition to it…
Skewers normally cost 100 fils (28 cents US), and you’d usually order your quantities in half dinar (500 fils) or dinar amounts… So there you are in a no frills Tikka joint… Yer Hungry, so you place a half a dinar order of tikka, a half a dinar order of kabab, take your can of preferred carbonated beverage and wait for your meat… for the sake of my childhood memories we’re going enjoy this virtual tikka experience the way my dad made his kids enjoy it, in the car… His reasoning behind this was that the place was too dirty to eat in, but you didn’t want to drive all the way home in the car and risk having your meat get cold and the fat solidify (solidified marinated fat isn’t appetizing, take my word for it). I digress… Allow me to explain the cooking method involved in grilling your tikka. The griller arranges the skewers on the grill and lets the hot coals serve their purpose (sometimes there’s a little electric fan directed to the grill to keep the fire going). The skewers are arranged with a couple of pieces of meat followed by a piece of fat, this is very important cause you need a little bit of fat to melt and drizzle onto the meat. The sizzling doesn’t stop until the griller decides it’s time and he flips all the skewers to get the other side nicely charred. Once the meat’s cooked, a huge piece of Iranian bread (think thin pita bread with the diameter of a medium/large pizza) is folded in half and by properly holding the fold, the meat easily slides off the skewer (I know, it’s hard to explain, you just have to see to understand it).
All of a sudden, there’s a knock at your window and there’s “Qamar-el-din” the man of the moment with a plastic bag filled with a bunch of aluminum foil wrapped bundles (if he’s nice, he might have some extra plates for you to enjoy your meal on)… You take out one of the aluminum bundles and unwrap it to find a whole lot of Iranian bread rolled up in a mini parcel, once you unravel the bread, you’re nostrils are immediately greeted with the smell of succulent grilled meat… mmmm… There’s a paper bag filled with your required veggies: Bagul, onion slices, green chilies, and lemon wedges… Bagul looks like thick blades of grass, but tastes pretty good (it’s all part of the experience, bear with me)…. Take the lemon wedge and squeeze the juice all over your meat, then tear of a piece of bread, arrange some bagul and onion and then add some of the meat and all of a sudden you’ve got your first bite… The combination in your mouth takes your taste buds on a heavenly roller coaster and you start wondering how can you eat this everyday for the rest of your life… The meat is hot and juicy with the lemon juice enhancing it’s flavor, while the bagul and onion provide you with that raw veggie “good for you” filler taste. The whole thing is wrapped up in bread making it easier to eat since everything is arranged in a mini roll… Some people hate the fat and some people love the fat, I don’t mind it as long as long as part of it is burnt and has that marinated lemony crispy yet soft center taste to it… Over the years, various tikka joints have improved their variety offering different types of marinades: yogurt, lemon, chili, and tomatoes (they’re all good depending on your taste and they still retain the original flavor of the meat). Kabab meat is served and eaten just the same as the tikka except the meat is minced and a lot softer. The spices used in the meat mix are complemented with the grilling style delivering a wonderfully flavored meat. I personally cannot make up my mind, which tastes better, so I usually end up ordering both, as should you…
Personally, the best part of the meal is the oily bread… Think of the tikka parcel like the earth, and the meat is the core. It’s then wrapped in layer after layer of bread (Gurss – the actual “loaf” - if you want the Bahraini lingo). The inside layer is soaking up all the juices and oils from the meat flavoring the bread and making it so moist… mmm heavenly… I know what you’re thinking… I need me some tikka right now… I couldn’t agree with you more…
WARNING: Sometimes eating tikka leaves a film of fat that covers the roof of your mouth… It doesn’t taste like fat, but it does taste like there’s an artificial film coating the roof of your mouth and can be a small price to pay for the taste. I’ve found a good way to combat this unwanted after effect: whiskey, but vodka works just as well… I’m not a scientist, but I’ll tell you the higher the proof the easier it is to breakdown the film in your mouth…
Tikka is a Bahraini tradition that’s slowly losing it’s fight to corporate fast food… Keep your memories and enjoy tikka, it’s much cheaper than buying a burger meal, and you’ve just helped local businesses survive a little longer… Bad tikka joints do exist, I just experienced it this weekend, but that shouldn’t deter you, there are many great eateries just waiting for your appetite and money…
Monday, December 20, 2004
a tribute...
I’m a huge football fan (that’s soccer to all you gringos), and over the past 4 years, our national team has stamped their presence on the international stage, playing some unbelievably attractive football… it all started with that crazy German coach Wolfgang Sidka on our way to the 2002 world cup… Ze Wolfman didn’t have much experience with really big teams (he did coach a couple of the smaller teams in the Bundesliga) but he believed in hard work and cooperation. He worked our boys to the ground and got them operating like a team… He took us pretty far, and when we hired Jurcic Srecko (a Croatian coach formerly of Al Ittihad in the UAE), everyone was skeptical… The boss had his work cut out for him: big shoes to fill and a lot of raw talent that needed to be utilized to it’s maximum potential. Srecko did just that and took the foundations that Sidka had established and built a skyscraper on it… He started giving our youngsters a chance like the Hubail brothers (he put his faith in Alaa Hubail as one of our main strikers and the lad didn’t disappoint). The team was pushed during it’s practices and allowed to rest during their breaks, the coach brought a sense of banding together that gave the team added confidence on the field.
The performance of our team on the international stage speaks for itself… making it to the semifinals of the Asian Cup 2004 (losing to the eventual tournament winner in extra time – Japan), & progressing to the final round of playoffs on route to the World Cup 2006 in Germany. Right now, we’ve got the Semifinals to the Gulf Cup in Qatar taking place and we’re up against Oman. A victory would send us to the finals and a chance to win the Cup. I just wanted to take a moment and pay tribute to some of the stars of our national team…
Goal: Ali Hassan of the Muharraq football club has stepped in for Ali Saeed and I have to admit, I like the change. He may be a small fellow, but his reflexes and reaction time is excellent… I do also like the fact that he makes every save seem like it was goal bound (the old Humood Sultan rolling around – know what I mean?). He fills out the goal and when you have the luxury of being able to bring on Ali Saeed (Solid no frills goalkeeper at Al Ahli) in goal, then you’ve got no worries…
Defense: Hussain Ali Baba is the epitome of cool and composed defending… This guy just might be one of the best defenders we’ve produced in years (don’t know why, but he reminds me of a young Alessandro Nesta)… He’s young (early 20s), skillful and accurate with his tackles (although he is prone to the occasional error – but who isn’t), and his passing and distribution is not only impressive but plays a big part in starting out our attacks. During the gulf cup game versus Saudi (3-0 win for us), Hussain was always there stopping Saudi’s attacks, pressuring their forwards with every play and cementing his role on the team… Abdulla Al Marzoogi is our bone crunching tackler, He’s big and tall, always ready for an aerial challenge. His height comes in very handy in corner kicks, and his control on the ball is very reliable. He’s gets the occasional goal and is very passionate when he plays, you always need someone like him on the team. Mohammed Hussain is another reliable, solid defender that comes in with the decisive tackle and never seems to lose his composure. It’s these three players that to me make up our backbone with an excellent understanding between each other and an organized back line that rivals the Italian league…
Midfield: You cannot talk about our midfield without highlighting the impact and importance of our team captain Talal Yousif. This guy is everything and the bag of chips: exceptional passing, good defending, and a knack for scoring decisive goals (who can forget that blast against Syria to tie the game in Damascus). Talal is our captain and he’s taken on the responsibilities fantastically… If I had to compare him to anyone, He’s definitely the Beckham of Bahrain… He’s most dangerous when he drifts in from the left into the center, looks up and takes the shot outside of the 18 yard box, totally catching the goalkeeper off his line.. woooohooooo!!!! The goal is then followed by the best celebratory dance that only Talal can pull off.. top class… Bahrain has recently been playing a 3-5-2 formation with Mahmood Jalal and Mohammed Hubail on the left and right wings. I don’t know enough of Mahmood, but from what I’ve seen, he’s a technical squad player with a good cross… If he keeps up his form, that left wing space is all his… good on ya… Mohammed Hubail is just a pleasure to watch with his mesmerizing runs along the right wing. He tracks back to defend well and just when you think the long ball down right is going for a goal kick, he magically keeps it in to supply a precise cross… I love watching him dart into the box, he’s got a pace and work rate like you couldn’t imagine… Our Fantasista is none other than Mohammed Salmeen… Salmeen can do it all: through balls that slice the defense in half, powerful crosses, quick passing, good ball control and a good shot on goal… He has the potential to actually read the game 5-8 seconds early, and as far as creative midfielders go, his delivery is sublime… The final midfield role is filled up by Either Rashid Al Dosari, Saleh Farhan, or Sayed Mohammed Adnan. Ok I have to admit that I don’t know much about these players (just recently started to properly follow our national team), but the Sayed’s free kick goal against Syria in Damascus was taken perfectly, he’s tall and lanky but has excellent ball control (how did that ball curve into the goal???). Dosari is a regular starter and he does pack a punch, while Farhan has been used as a substitute – one for the future…
Forwards: This is where Bahrain has been exceptional with scoring goals or drawing the defenders letting someone else thump it into the net.. The main two players in this position are Hussain Ali and Alaa Hubail… Hussain Ali, is a powerful center forward that scores goals in all different shapes and sizes: with a quick tap in, or a volley straight into the net, it’s all him… He’s currently plying his trade at Al Rayyan in Qatar and was dislodged from the top scorer title in the Qatar league by none other than: Alaa Hubail (our Wayne Rooney)… Alaa is still very young (early 20s), but he’s been blessed with a talent to put the ball in the back of the net… He’s our young goal-scoring phenomenon and we’ve had a taste and want more… Alaa, is quick and comfortable with the ball constantly terrorizing the opposition… Watching him play just makes the years to come so much more interesting… This kid will be ready for the big leagues of Europe and when they come knocking, he’s going to answer with some thundering goals… Salman Isa is our utility player. He’s comfortable as a left forward, but I’ve seen him play well on the left wing as well… You never really know Salman’s playing until he scores that goal that he managed to create from nothing… Pace and fluid play is what he brings to the table and I want to see more of it… The final member of the team is Daij Nasser… now when you want to talk about the future, this kid is it… He scored the equalizer against Japan leading to extra time. When he received that long ball, his first touch didn’t look good, but then out of nowhere he took a shot on goal and gave us hope… Muharraq have always produced some of the best in Bahrain, and Daij has no fear, he’s ready for anything you throw at him and I’m excited about seeing what else he’s got in his bag of tricks…
This isn’t a comprehensive analysis of the National team; this just the opinion of a fan; I left out where I thought the team could improve cause this isn’t the time to be pointing fingers and yelling at sub-par performances… After our Asian Cup performance, most of the players on our national team immediately got picked up by teams in Qatar and Kuwait, receiving handsome salaries. This can only be a good thing for us (hopefully they’re picking up different styles and tricks from the stars in Qatar: Sonny Anderson, Desailly, Batistuta, BenArabia, Dugarry, the De Boer Brothers, etc.). Our boys in red have played their hearts out for us and we need to stand behind them and show the world what David can do against the Goliath.
Come on Lads!! Hayoo El Bahrain!! Good luck against Oman, and just play your hearts out...
The performance of our team on the international stage speaks for itself… making it to the semifinals of the Asian Cup 2004 (losing to the eventual tournament winner in extra time – Japan), & progressing to the final round of playoffs on route to the World Cup 2006 in Germany. Right now, we’ve got the Semifinals to the Gulf Cup in Qatar taking place and we’re up against Oman. A victory would send us to the finals and a chance to win the Cup. I just wanted to take a moment and pay tribute to some of the stars of our national team…
Goal: Ali Hassan of the Muharraq football club has stepped in for Ali Saeed and I have to admit, I like the change. He may be a small fellow, but his reflexes and reaction time is excellent… I do also like the fact that he makes every save seem like it was goal bound (the old Humood Sultan rolling around – know what I mean?). He fills out the goal and when you have the luxury of being able to bring on Ali Saeed (Solid no frills goalkeeper at Al Ahli) in goal, then you’ve got no worries…
Defense: Hussain Ali Baba is the epitome of cool and composed defending… This guy just might be one of the best defenders we’ve produced in years (don’t know why, but he reminds me of a young Alessandro Nesta)… He’s young (early 20s), skillful and accurate with his tackles (although he is prone to the occasional error – but who isn’t), and his passing and distribution is not only impressive but plays a big part in starting out our attacks. During the gulf cup game versus Saudi (3-0 win for us), Hussain was always there stopping Saudi’s attacks, pressuring their forwards with every play and cementing his role on the team… Abdulla Al Marzoogi is our bone crunching tackler, He’s big and tall, always ready for an aerial challenge. His height comes in very handy in corner kicks, and his control on the ball is very reliable. He’s gets the occasional goal and is very passionate when he plays, you always need someone like him on the team. Mohammed Hussain is another reliable, solid defender that comes in with the decisive tackle and never seems to lose his composure. It’s these three players that to me make up our backbone with an excellent understanding between each other and an organized back line that rivals the Italian league…
Midfield: You cannot talk about our midfield without highlighting the impact and importance of our team captain Talal Yousif. This guy is everything and the bag of chips: exceptional passing, good defending, and a knack for scoring decisive goals (who can forget that blast against Syria to tie the game in Damascus). Talal is our captain and he’s taken on the responsibilities fantastically… If I had to compare him to anyone, He’s definitely the Beckham of Bahrain… He’s most dangerous when he drifts in from the left into the center, looks up and takes the shot outside of the 18 yard box, totally catching the goalkeeper off his line.. woooohooooo!!!! The goal is then followed by the best celebratory dance that only Talal can pull off.. top class… Bahrain has recently been playing a 3-5-2 formation with Mahmood Jalal and Mohammed Hubail on the left and right wings. I don’t know enough of Mahmood, but from what I’ve seen, he’s a technical squad player with a good cross… If he keeps up his form, that left wing space is all his… good on ya… Mohammed Hubail is just a pleasure to watch with his mesmerizing runs along the right wing. He tracks back to defend well and just when you think the long ball down right is going for a goal kick, he magically keeps it in to supply a precise cross… I love watching him dart into the box, he’s got a pace and work rate like you couldn’t imagine… Our Fantasista is none other than Mohammed Salmeen… Salmeen can do it all: through balls that slice the defense in half, powerful crosses, quick passing, good ball control and a good shot on goal… He has the potential to actually read the game 5-8 seconds early, and as far as creative midfielders go, his delivery is sublime… The final midfield role is filled up by Either Rashid Al Dosari, Saleh Farhan, or Sayed Mohammed Adnan. Ok I have to admit that I don’t know much about these players (just recently started to properly follow our national team), but the Sayed’s free kick goal against Syria in Damascus was taken perfectly, he’s tall and lanky but has excellent ball control (how did that ball curve into the goal???). Dosari is a regular starter and he does pack a punch, while Farhan has been used as a substitute – one for the future…
Forwards: This is where Bahrain has been exceptional with scoring goals or drawing the defenders letting someone else thump it into the net.. The main two players in this position are Hussain Ali and Alaa Hubail… Hussain Ali, is a powerful center forward that scores goals in all different shapes and sizes: with a quick tap in, or a volley straight into the net, it’s all him… He’s currently plying his trade at Al Rayyan in Qatar and was dislodged from the top scorer title in the Qatar league by none other than: Alaa Hubail (our Wayne Rooney)… Alaa is still very young (early 20s), but he’s been blessed with a talent to put the ball in the back of the net… He’s our young goal-scoring phenomenon and we’ve had a taste and want more… Alaa, is quick and comfortable with the ball constantly terrorizing the opposition… Watching him play just makes the years to come so much more interesting… This kid will be ready for the big leagues of Europe and when they come knocking, he’s going to answer with some thundering goals… Salman Isa is our utility player. He’s comfortable as a left forward, but I’ve seen him play well on the left wing as well… You never really know Salman’s playing until he scores that goal that he managed to create from nothing… Pace and fluid play is what he brings to the table and I want to see more of it… The final member of the team is Daij Nasser… now when you want to talk about the future, this kid is it… He scored the equalizer against Japan leading to extra time. When he received that long ball, his first touch didn’t look good, but then out of nowhere he took a shot on goal and gave us hope… Muharraq have always produced some of the best in Bahrain, and Daij has no fear, he’s ready for anything you throw at him and I’m excited about seeing what else he’s got in his bag of tricks…
This isn’t a comprehensive analysis of the National team; this just the opinion of a fan; I left out where I thought the team could improve cause this isn’t the time to be pointing fingers and yelling at sub-par performances… After our Asian Cup performance, most of the players on our national team immediately got picked up by teams in Qatar and Kuwait, receiving handsome salaries. This can only be a good thing for us (hopefully they’re picking up different styles and tricks from the stars in Qatar: Sonny Anderson, Desailly, Batistuta, BenArabia, Dugarry, the De Boer Brothers, etc.). Our boys in red have played their hearts out for us and we need to stand behind them and show the world what David can do against the Goliath.
Come on Lads!! Hayoo El Bahrain!! Good luck against Oman, and just play your hearts out...
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
the art of the bahraini pull
This is something that I’ve always found totally intriguing… In the Middle East, meeting a member of the opposite sex and starting a relationship requires quick thinking, a lot of talk time, and secret agent skills that match James Bond…
Let’s say you’re strolling along in a undisclosed shopping mall, you decide you need that double espresso and you need it right now.. At the corporate world domination coffee shop, you spot this delicious bellabambina in front of you in the line… your eyes meet and she smiles… OK NOW STOP… if you were anywhere else in the world, then you might decide to start up a conversation on how you love Kenyan double dark roasts because they really release the true flavor of the beans or some bullshit like that.. but you’re in the middle east and that line isn’t going to cut it.. Instead, you must turn on your cell phone, activate the blue tooth transmission on your phone and hope that you can find her and send her a text message… she will also have her blue tooth turned on the prowl for interesting names… once you get her name you can start texting which will eventually lead to calling and then hopefully on to bigger and better things… The only problem is that everyone and their mother has their blue tooth on, scooping the cellular chick frequencies, so panache and guile is a must.
Before the advent of cell phones and blue tooth, people used to write their number on a little piece of paper and give it to the girl or the guy… Some poor sods actually went out of their way and had their numbers printed on special paper with a little catchphrase like: I want to whisper soft poetry into your ear… I’ve actually seen the number paper transfer executed with such class and precision that you’d think they’re trading government secrets… It’s just unbelievable… I’ve never even bothered to try because I don’t know what to do… Do you hand over the number? Toss it over (if you do toss it, underhand or overhand)? Oh and if you don’t know, people are number hungry here, the sequence or the simplicity of a number really gets the girl going, because then she thinks “hmm this guy’s got a good number, I bet he drives a nice car”. So to answer your question, if you’re going to pull in this manner, then you’re going for a materialistic WAP (wannabe princess) and long walks on the beach holding hands is out of the question…
I once heard that guys in Saudi pick women based on their shoes… Since the women there are usually covered from head to toe, then you might want to consider the Manolo Blahnik pumps over the size 50 European medical arch supporting flats.. can you believe that? Shoes, what a phenomenon, that’s how you weed the women out there… If anyone actually reads this, can you verify? I’m interested to know… what do you do if you pick the girl out, then plan to meet with her again and you tell her to wear the same shoes; but then get screwed because she was wearing a popular sneaker that everyone’s wearing these days?
Once you’ve found your blue tooth honey, you guys have to start talking on the phone… Now this is the part that can be quite tiresome… You guys exchange phone calls, spend hour after hour of precious network talk time, doing absolutely nothing… I’ve sat in on and observed one of these talks and had to leave 20 minutes cause it was going nowhere… allow me to demonstrate: phone rings… (hello?) 5 minutes of silence (shlonek- how are you) another 5 minutes of silence (I’m good, I’m thinking about you) yet another 5 minutes of silence (really? I’m thinking about you too) you guessed it, another 5 minutes of silence, and that’s when I walked out of the room. Hopefully the phone calls will end up somewhere and you might actually get a chance to have a private moment with your newfound love…
Another way you can pull is by having a cell phone… Desperate people in Bahrain, spend lots of time with their phones randomly calling people, or they might actually find some stranger’s number and then out of the blue give them a call.. Those phone conversations can be very interesting to sit in on cause both people are playing both offense and defense (when you’re trying to start a relationship with a stranger over the phone, you have to be)… Don’t want to get into the details, but if you’re a pro then you’ll bag whomever your talking to; otherwise you’ll just get chewed up and spit out…
I think what I’m trying to get at, is that this is how business is conducted in terms of relationships… I’m oblivious to this and really don’t even know where to start, nor do I have a desire to even try… People here are so hung up on the bling, that they’ll forgo on the relationship building and the getting to know you bit (if you haven’t kept up on urban phraseology of the past 4 years, bling is defined as the shine that hits your eye when someone is wearing diamonds, so when you say “check out my bling” that means check out the really expensive stuff I’ve got). Talking to a member of the opposite sex, shouldn’t be such a secret or require such crazy methods.. Meeting someone should be fun, not complicated, what if you don’t have blue tooth? Or you don’t have the bling? You shouldn’t be shit out of luck.. People need to drop these false pretenses and just go with the flow. The problem is that many people like to go with the flow, but they’ve been burned so many times, that they’ve got these 15-foot high walls with barbed wire and guard dogs. Guys, we need to stop being assholes, a little respect and courtesy will go a long way, & stop spreading the false rumors. Ladies, give the lads a chance, we’re not all assholes… oh and everybody… can we tone down the materialistic bullshit just a bit? It’s ok to be a fashionista, but don’t hold it against someone if they’re not…
Note to my bellabambina: Baby, I would never even attempt to do something as stupid and silly as this, I know better. You’d catch me, then fricassee my privates and serve them with a little bit of fresh parsley as a garnish. I’m the luckiest guy on the planet and I love you..
Let’s say you’re strolling along in a undisclosed shopping mall, you decide you need that double espresso and you need it right now.. At the corporate world domination coffee shop, you spot this delicious bellabambina in front of you in the line… your eyes meet and she smiles… OK NOW STOP… if you were anywhere else in the world, then you might decide to start up a conversation on how you love Kenyan double dark roasts because they really release the true flavor of the beans or some bullshit like that.. but you’re in the middle east and that line isn’t going to cut it.. Instead, you must turn on your cell phone, activate the blue tooth transmission on your phone and hope that you can find her and send her a text message… she will also have her blue tooth turned on the prowl for interesting names… once you get her name you can start texting which will eventually lead to calling and then hopefully on to bigger and better things… The only problem is that everyone and their mother has their blue tooth on, scooping the cellular chick frequencies, so panache and guile is a must.
Before the advent of cell phones and blue tooth, people used to write their number on a little piece of paper and give it to the girl or the guy… Some poor sods actually went out of their way and had their numbers printed on special paper with a little catchphrase like: I want to whisper soft poetry into your ear… I’ve actually seen the number paper transfer executed with such class and precision that you’d think they’re trading government secrets… It’s just unbelievable… I’ve never even bothered to try because I don’t know what to do… Do you hand over the number? Toss it over (if you do toss it, underhand or overhand)? Oh and if you don’t know, people are number hungry here, the sequence or the simplicity of a number really gets the girl going, because then she thinks “hmm this guy’s got a good number, I bet he drives a nice car”. So to answer your question, if you’re going to pull in this manner, then you’re going for a materialistic WAP (wannabe princess) and long walks on the beach holding hands is out of the question…
I once heard that guys in Saudi pick women based on their shoes… Since the women there are usually covered from head to toe, then you might want to consider the Manolo Blahnik pumps over the size 50 European medical arch supporting flats.. can you believe that? Shoes, what a phenomenon, that’s how you weed the women out there… If anyone actually reads this, can you verify? I’m interested to know… what do you do if you pick the girl out, then plan to meet with her again and you tell her to wear the same shoes; but then get screwed because she was wearing a popular sneaker that everyone’s wearing these days?
Once you’ve found your blue tooth honey, you guys have to start talking on the phone… Now this is the part that can be quite tiresome… You guys exchange phone calls, spend hour after hour of precious network talk time, doing absolutely nothing… I’ve sat in on and observed one of these talks and had to leave 20 minutes cause it was going nowhere… allow me to demonstrate: phone rings… (hello?) 5 minutes of silence (shlonek- how are you) another 5 minutes of silence (I’m good, I’m thinking about you) yet another 5 minutes of silence (really? I’m thinking about you too) you guessed it, another 5 minutes of silence, and that’s when I walked out of the room. Hopefully the phone calls will end up somewhere and you might actually get a chance to have a private moment with your newfound love…
Another way you can pull is by having a cell phone… Desperate people in Bahrain, spend lots of time with their phones randomly calling people, or they might actually find some stranger’s number and then out of the blue give them a call.. Those phone conversations can be very interesting to sit in on cause both people are playing both offense and defense (when you’re trying to start a relationship with a stranger over the phone, you have to be)… Don’t want to get into the details, but if you’re a pro then you’ll bag whomever your talking to; otherwise you’ll just get chewed up and spit out…
I think what I’m trying to get at, is that this is how business is conducted in terms of relationships… I’m oblivious to this and really don’t even know where to start, nor do I have a desire to even try… People here are so hung up on the bling, that they’ll forgo on the relationship building and the getting to know you bit (if you haven’t kept up on urban phraseology of the past 4 years, bling is defined as the shine that hits your eye when someone is wearing diamonds, so when you say “check out my bling” that means check out the really expensive stuff I’ve got). Talking to a member of the opposite sex, shouldn’t be such a secret or require such crazy methods.. Meeting someone should be fun, not complicated, what if you don’t have blue tooth? Or you don’t have the bling? You shouldn’t be shit out of luck.. People need to drop these false pretenses and just go with the flow. The problem is that many people like to go with the flow, but they’ve been burned so many times, that they’ve got these 15-foot high walls with barbed wire and guard dogs. Guys, we need to stop being assholes, a little respect and courtesy will go a long way, & stop spreading the false rumors. Ladies, give the lads a chance, we’re not all assholes… oh and everybody… can we tone down the materialistic bullshit just a bit? It’s ok to be a fashionista, but don’t hold it against someone if they’re not…
Note to my bellabambina: Baby, I would never even attempt to do something as stupid and silly as this, I know better. You’d catch me, then fricassee my privates and serve them with a little bit of fresh parsley as a garnish. I’m the luckiest guy on the planet and I love you..
Thursday, December 02, 2004
a heated post about the environment
One of our biggest problems with Bahraini’s is that people have no respect for their environment and that REALLY gets under my skin… People don’t give a shit about where they throw their trash, constantly under the impression that there’s some poor fellow there to pick up after them. The thing is there is someone there to pick up after them, he’s the poor garbage man that I see every morning on my ride to work having to pick up juice boxes and wrappers off the side of the road…
I’ve said this before, Bahrain’s a tiny place, if you’re gonna litter, it’s going to build up until it becomes disgusting… and since Bahraini’s don’t give a shit, they’re inviting others living here to not give a shit either… I get so pissed off when I’m driving and I see a Bahraini driver, rolling down his or her window and dumping out trash… I mean, why? You’re in a car, you’re obviously going someplace, can’t you crumble that empty pack of cigarettes or that tissue paper and hold on till you get to wherever you’re going so that you don’t have to make my country a little less beautiful? Can someone explain to me why people litter? What is the deal? I see trash cans everywhere but people are too lazy to do anything with them… I dare anyone who reads this to go and drive around Bahrain looking for a spot or patch of “refuse free” land… if you do find that actual spot, then think back of all the other spots that are just covered in trash and allow yourself to vomit (in a toilet that is, we don’t want more crap on the floor)…
I’m not asking you to quit your job, join green peace, get on the rainbow warrior and save the sardines… I’m asking you to realize what you do in your life where you’re fucking litterbug and if you stopped, and if you made everyone around you to stop then maybe you can make a difference… Every little piece of trash put in a bin counts by the way… I’m planning on having kids someday and I want to do everything I can to preserve some sort of clean environment for them to grow up in… If you’re from here, then try to remember how pretty and green it was here 15 years ago, do you really want to lose that forever? Do you want to take your kids over to a public garden to show them more sand? The government is doing its part to keep the country clean, but it shouldn’t be just up to them, we should all do our part. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, just keep after yourself; and if more people start becoming responsible citizens and keep after themselves then we might actually have a chance…
Just to paint a really sad picture for you, at the cemetery in Manama, there’s trash on people’s graves… During a funeral, there’s usually bottled water being passed around for anyone feeling a little dehydrated. Do you know how these assholes repay their gratitude for getting a free drink of water? They throw the empty bottles on ground, while I end up picking up after them and tossing them in the garbage bin less than 5 footsteps away… You fucking assholes, I don’t give a shit how religious you are or who the hell listens to you. You just lost all credibility in my book when you tossed garbage on someone’s grave, and if by chance anything is thrown on any grave of any relative of mine, I will not hesitate in pummeling your face into the ground. If you just read this and feel there’s nothing wrong with people littering in Bahrain, then FUCK YOU TOO.
Peace loving, tree hugging, granola eating, disgruntled hippie…
I’ve said this before, Bahrain’s a tiny place, if you’re gonna litter, it’s going to build up until it becomes disgusting… and since Bahraini’s don’t give a shit, they’re inviting others living here to not give a shit either… I get so pissed off when I’m driving and I see a Bahraini driver, rolling down his or her window and dumping out trash… I mean, why? You’re in a car, you’re obviously going someplace, can’t you crumble that empty pack of cigarettes or that tissue paper and hold on till you get to wherever you’re going so that you don’t have to make my country a little less beautiful? Can someone explain to me why people litter? What is the deal? I see trash cans everywhere but people are too lazy to do anything with them… I dare anyone who reads this to go and drive around Bahrain looking for a spot or patch of “refuse free” land… if you do find that actual spot, then think back of all the other spots that are just covered in trash and allow yourself to vomit (in a toilet that is, we don’t want more crap on the floor)…
I’m not asking you to quit your job, join green peace, get on the rainbow warrior and save the sardines… I’m asking you to realize what you do in your life where you’re fucking litterbug and if you stopped, and if you made everyone around you to stop then maybe you can make a difference… Every little piece of trash put in a bin counts by the way… I’m planning on having kids someday and I want to do everything I can to preserve some sort of clean environment for them to grow up in… If you’re from here, then try to remember how pretty and green it was here 15 years ago, do you really want to lose that forever? Do you want to take your kids over to a public garden to show them more sand? The government is doing its part to keep the country clean, but it shouldn’t be just up to them, we should all do our part. It doesn’t have to be anything grand, just keep after yourself; and if more people start becoming responsible citizens and keep after themselves then we might actually have a chance…
Just to paint a really sad picture for you, at the cemetery in Manama, there’s trash on people’s graves… During a funeral, there’s usually bottled water being passed around for anyone feeling a little dehydrated. Do you know how these assholes repay their gratitude for getting a free drink of water? They throw the empty bottles on ground, while I end up picking up after them and tossing them in the garbage bin less than 5 footsteps away… You fucking assholes, I don’t give a shit how religious you are or who the hell listens to you. You just lost all credibility in my book when you tossed garbage on someone’s grave, and if by chance anything is thrown on any grave of any relative of mine, I will not hesitate in pummeling your face into the ground. If you just read this and feel there’s nothing wrong with people littering in Bahrain, then FUCK YOU TOO.
Peace loving, tree hugging, granola eating, disgruntled hippie…
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
The Rules of Engagement
The following notes are the rules that dictate the existence of the circle… We live by these rules and we die by these rules.
Bugs it: In the event that an action is required for the good of the group (ie: getting another drink, turning on the TV, ordering food or paying the delivery guy, setting up the console for multiplayer action, etc) and you are not planning on volunteering for it, then yell out “bugs it” before the last person does to ensure that you will not be required to perform said action. If you fail to yell out “bugs it” before the last person, then you are required by the laws of the circle to perform said action… If you are newly recruited into the circle, you will be granted one get out of “bugs it” free card only to be redeemed once…
The Reign of the Jackass: Within the circle, the probability of you doing something absolutely stupid and asinine is quite high, hence the Reign of the Jackass rule… After deliberation and mutual agreement by the circle, the person caught doing the stupidest act will have the title of Jackass bestowed upon him, until the next jackass is found. The Jackass lives, long live the Jackass…
Reservoir Dog rule: There are many levels within the circle, and one must work hard to rise within the ranks. The title of Reservoir Dog can only be attained after accomplishing a number of kudo feats that involve but are not restricted to (boozing, women, gaming, trash talking, stunt driving, skeet shooting, punking, etc.).
The Reign of the High Commander: Any Reservoir Dog that performs additional kudo feats that benefit the circle collectively will also rise in ranking achieving High Commander Status… However, performing a number of jackass feats will demote the high commander to his previous rank, making way for a new high commander.
The Nancy Rule: Any member of the circle who succumbs to the shackles of a committed relationship and stops attending circle meetings, will not lose rank, but will gain the Nancy title. From the moment that reservoir dog can no longer make a decision without having to consult the real person who wears the pants in that relationship; then he forgoes all manly rights within the circle… That member may be ridiculed and insulted on the sole basis that he is no longer master of his domain and is now a Nancy.
Nips n Punches: Disclaimer: We are sick people; the object of this rule is to define that level of sickness and curb how far our sadistic thinking can go. Nipple plays of a homoerotic nature are not part of the standard operating procedure within the circle but will be overlooked, however, nipple plays that would drive a member of the circle to the point of violent behavior are fair game. Every nipple play constitutes a punch, and every punch constitutes a nipple play… sorry Nancy, there’s no way around this. Pre-emptive punching for oncoming nipple plays will be condemned and are against our laws, however there shall be no interference by the circle. A nipple play is defined as 3 twirls and a pinch. If the puncher invites the nippler for a nipple play, the play is transferable. Skin on skin plays are for special occasions and events such as halftime shows. Incorrectly landing a punch will only prompt an additional punch if the first strike did not make contact with the nippler. If you move when receiving a nipple play or a punch, then your forfeit your right to retaliate, for every action there is a reaction and if you try to mess with that equation then you’re disrupting the flow of the cosmos. However, the nippler may brace himself for the ensuing punch and may request the location of the punch.
More Ice Bitch: If a drink is made for you, and the maker has not added enough ice to your liking, then you may yell “more ice bitch” and demand additional ice for your drink… The maker has to duly accommodate you since he was making you the drink in the first place.
The Hog: When a member of the circle, is taking his sweet ass time with anything, any member of the circle may point and yell out “hog” repeatedly making the hog uncomfortable. Other members are welcome to join in the pointing and hog calling.
Verbal Diarrhea: 1. It’s “Marv know your role” – because he forever will. 2. Improvising on any of the names and name-calling is welcome as long as it is within the scope of the original insult. 3. “DAI” may be used to complete any argument, or fill in any awkward quiet moments.
Player Whore: In any competitive environment, mainly video games, the loser in last place dons the title player whore. Being player whore means that you receive the crappy controller, and you get to select the level in the following round.
Betting: In the event that someone shoots his mouth off and a wager is made; all money must be collected by a non-participating member of the circle (all rules must be agreed upon prior to the money being collected). If you are not carrying enough money to cover the bet but are good for it, a guarantor must be secured. If you happen to bet against a member of the circle and lose, then you maybe subjected to all forms of ridicule and insults.
Bugs it: In the event that an action is required for the good of the group (ie: getting another drink, turning on the TV, ordering food or paying the delivery guy, setting up the console for multiplayer action, etc) and you are not planning on volunteering for it, then yell out “bugs it” before the last person does to ensure that you will not be required to perform said action. If you fail to yell out “bugs it” before the last person, then you are required by the laws of the circle to perform said action… If you are newly recruited into the circle, you will be granted one get out of “bugs it” free card only to be redeemed once…
The Reign of the Jackass: Within the circle, the probability of you doing something absolutely stupid and asinine is quite high, hence the Reign of the Jackass rule… After deliberation and mutual agreement by the circle, the person caught doing the stupidest act will have the title of Jackass bestowed upon him, until the next jackass is found. The Jackass lives, long live the Jackass…
Reservoir Dog rule: There are many levels within the circle, and one must work hard to rise within the ranks. The title of Reservoir Dog can only be attained after accomplishing a number of kudo feats that involve but are not restricted to (boozing, women, gaming, trash talking, stunt driving, skeet shooting, punking, etc.).
The Reign of the High Commander: Any Reservoir Dog that performs additional kudo feats that benefit the circle collectively will also rise in ranking achieving High Commander Status… However, performing a number of jackass feats will demote the high commander to his previous rank, making way for a new high commander.
The Nancy Rule: Any member of the circle who succumbs to the shackles of a committed relationship and stops attending circle meetings, will not lose rank, but will gain the Nancy title. From the moment that reservoir dog can no longer make a decision without having to consult the real person who wears the pants in that relationship; then he forgoes all manly rights within the circle… That member may be ridiculed and insulted on the sole basis that he is no longer master of his domain and is now a Nancy.
Nips n Punches: Disclaimer: We are sick people; the object of this rule is to define that level of sickness and curb how far our sadistic thinking can go. Nipple plays of a homoerotic nature are not part of the standard operating procedure within the circle but will be overlooked, however, nipple plays that would drive a member of the circle to the point of violent behavior are fair game. Every nipple play constitutes a punch, and every punch constitutes a nipple play… sorry Nancy, there’s no way around this. Pre-emptive punching for oncoming nipple plays will be condemned and are against our laws, however there shall be no interference by the circle. A nipple play is defined as 3 twirls and a pinch. If the puncher invites the nippler for a nipple play, the play is transferable. Skin on skin plays are for special occasions and events such as halftime shows. Incorrectly landing a punch will only prompt an additional punch if the first strike did not make contact with the nippler. If you move when receiving a nipple play or a punch, then your forfeit your right to retaliate, for every action there is a reaction and if you try to mess with that equation then you’re disrupting the flow of the cosmos. However, the nippler may brace himself for the ensuing punch and may request the location of the punch.
More Ice Bitch: If a drink is made for you, and the maker has not added enough ice to your liking, then you may yell “more ice bitch” and demand additional ice for your drink… The maker has to duly accommodate you since he was making you the drink in the first place.
The Hog: When a member of the circle, is taking his sweet ass time with anything, any member of the circle may point and yell out “hog” repeatedly making the hog uncomfortable. Other members are welcome to join in the pointing and hog calling.
Verbal Diarrhea: 1. It’s “Marv know your role” – because he forever will. 2. Improvising on any of the names and name-calling is welcome as long as it is within the scope of the original insult. 3. “DAI” may be used to complete any argument, or fill in any awkward quiet moments.
Player Whore: In any competitive environment, mainly video games, the loser in last place dons the title player whore. Being player whore means that you receive the crappy controller, and you get to select the level in the following round.
Betting: In the event that someone shoots his mouth off and a wager is made; all money must be collected by a non-participating member of the circle (all rules must be agreed upon prior to the money being collected). If you are not carrying enough money to cover the bet but are good for it, a guarantor must be secured. If you happen to bet against a member of the circle and lose, then you maybe subjected to all forms of ridicule and insults.
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