I rant you risten

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Vocabulario 10

Episode 10 of the weekend words suggested to you.. apply them into your talk, squeeze them in when possible – drop these words like they’re going out of style.. What’s cooler than calling someone atavistic? I don’t know..

This week’s words are..

Word #1 Copasetic
Word #2 Transmogrify
Word #3 Atavistic

On another note: Johnny Damon, Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield, Hideki Matsui, Jorge Posada, Robinson Cano, Bernie Williams – that’s the lineup that I have to deal with – the only thing I can say is WTF??!!!?? Johnny Damon, I have forgiven you for jumping ship.. You’re a tired old man that wanted more money, the Sox weren’t going to give it to you, so you decided to pimp yourself out to the Yankees.. You’re 32, Coco Crisp is 6 years younger than you, and he wasn’t too far off your numbers last year – he’s entering his prime - I hope Epstein knows what he’s doing (I’m pretty sure he does).. I know I’m going to regret this, I know you’ll magically find some fountain of youth and I’ll lament why we didn’t just cave in and give you more money, such is life.. No one is bigger than the team.. You just really hurt me and the Red Sox Nation. I was devastated when they announced your departure, you so quickly shaved off the beard, cut your hair, and threw on that pinstripe suit... Yankees fans, congratulations on your victory.. I hope he turns out to be the Winston Bogarde of Baseball..

i should have never loaded espn.com today..

Sunday, February 19, 2006

i speak bahraini very best

Wherever you go, people change names of certain things to suit their culture or their influence or the time in particular ie: a dollar is called a buck because one dollar during the time of old frontier amounted to a buck hide, or something like that. Living in Bahrain, we’ve had our fair share of influences, 50 years ago if not longer, not many people spoke English, so imagine trying to sell an English product to a non-english speaker who’s never seen the product before in his life. You might tell us what you call it, but odds are, we’re going to give it our own name. We still call vacuum cleaners in Bahrain “Hoovers” because that was the first brand of vacuum cleaners sold here..

I’ve deviated.. On this wonderful island I call home, we’ve taken some English, some Indian, and some Persian words and we’ve tweaked them, or morphed them into our own little dialect.. This was all brought on when I was talking about kankarry being poured in the parking lot in our garage and my friend, (a Leb who’s lived most of his live in Bahrain) laughed at me and said we Bahrainis talk funny.. So I thought I’d list some of the words that come to me and explain them, so the next time you hear them you wont be lost and who knows, maybe you can use them in a conversation here and earn some street cred.. I know some of our neighbors and expatriates that live in or around Bahrain will get a kick out of this..

I’m spelling these out phonetically because I’m not even going to attempt to get them out right..

Bistoog – cookie.. Derived from the word biscuit, but modified for our local tongue.. Using this word can refer to any type of cookie, but it’s usually reserved for those delicious Danish Butter Cookies.. waitaminute, did I just say Danish? Boycott that..

Bi-Feater – plumber.. The trade of a pipe fitter. We don’t have the letter ‘p’ in our alphabet, so everything with ‘p’ naturally becomes a ‘b’.. kinda like “bebsi”..

Kan’karry – Concrete.. Don’t ask me how this got twisted, but it sounds cooler than concrete..

Smeet - Cement

Ambaloos – ambulance

Aranj joosh – orange juice

Draiwill – Driver

Ali Willem – Potato - back in the day, the most famous brand of potatoes on the island were imported through a Bahraini English joint venture called “Ali & William”. People here dropped the ampersand and stuck with calling potatoes Ali Willem. We’re not going to waste our breath pronouncing the “&” we’ve got better things to do..

Isbaitar – Hospital (it’s a muharraq thing)

Payk – a drink.. comes from the peg measure for dispensing alcohol, the peg measure must be of glass or brass that is well-tinned or silver-plated. Standard pegs are of 60 ml. (1 peg) and 30 ml. (1/2 peg).. as in “go fix yourself up a payk”

Shughgul Shaddan – Double Time – when they’d give the generators at the oil factory (BAPCO) a rest, the refinery still had to work but on manual labor, so the employees would have to work extra hard. It was called “Shutdown work”, but thanks to the bahranization of the word, it morphed to shaddan..

Ban’nid – close, turn off – I think this came from the word Banned

Balek – (also pronounced palek) plug, as in the little plug on a wire that’s connected to your tv or dvd player or microwave, you get what I mean.

‘Celater – Accelerator – put the pedal to the metal..

Belanty – Penalty.. I love this one, because it’s widely used in the arab world (well the Arabian peninsula world).. I love hearing this working in a bank “if you do not bay the fee now, then you will have a belanty on your account”

Ray’wis – reverse

Wan’ate – (also used in Kuwait) pickup truck.. cause the pickup trucks are usually 1.8 liter engines and because the 1.8 would be plastered on the back of the truck, people just referred to it as a wan’ate.

So that’s what I have, a bunch of words that sound funny when you read them but are a part of our everyday language here that we use without thinking twice about them… we are like this, only. If you know any more words, let us know. It’s like people in Rhode Island calling a water fountain a bubbler.. What’s up with that anyways?

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Vocabulario Nueve

I was away - but now I’m back.. We’ve resumed your semi regular Vocabulario, and this week’s words were inspired by some & insinuated by others. Here they are in no particular order except the one in which I typed them up in...

Word #1 Riveting
Word #2 Skulduggery
Word #3 Siphon

“I like riveting stories about corruption that reveal skullduggery and lots of money siphoned off to foreign accounts.”

Random thought of randomness: When I say concubine, I think of porcupines.. I know they rhyme a little, but it’s just this weird name association thing I do.. I would love to have a concubine or concubines for that matter.. if you’ve got quills, live in a tree trunk and want to love me, then drop me a line..

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Wisdumb

A bunch of people all over the world were requested to provide some valuable nuggets of wisdom. Some people sent some very thoughtful and chicken soup for the soul stuff, some motivational talk, some philosophical mumbo jumbo, some downright insane, and some quite educational. I’d like to add a statement here by saying that these lines of wisdom were directly pasted from whatever the person sent me, no editing or censoring took place, you cannot hold me accountable for what’s written here, unless you like it, then it was totally my idea to bring these thoughts together. So without further ado, I present to you a global project here on Bahraini Rants entitled: Wise Words of Wisdom from Random People.. enjoy..


Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Nobody scratch your back, but your own nail.

He who is shy does not bring children.

Cupcakes are like hugs -- with icing!

When a guy is 16 17 and 18 he MUST do the things a 16, 17 and 18 year old does. If he doesn't he will wind up doing them when he is 30.

Insomnia can be easily remedied by drinking a warm glass of milk and jumping.

Never play 'mouse caught in a mousetrap' with your penis.

What would you do if you weren't afraid? Now go do it!

Don’t brush your hair and then put a turtleneck on immediately after.

Make mistakes faster.

Never play tag with a paraplegic; it’s just not fair.

life . . . live it!

People who know how to eat sushi don't order California rolls.

Pus somewhere + pus nowhere = pus under the diaphragm.

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

If you're gonna play with the stapler then at least don't keep your finger between the claws.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

If in Prague and you're talked into getting in a taxi solo at 4am heading to an unknown destination.. use common sense and jump out if the vehicle starts reversing down an alleyway.

No fear…if you do it, are you going to die?

Sex alleviates the tension caused by love.

run everyday, eat your veggies, but don't miss out on coffee and chocolates.

If people are going to start telling the truth around here, I'm going to bed.

Without information, you are nothing.

I'm a veteran. I've seen hobos miss the train, cats miss the rat, monkey miss the branch.

Oddly, life is much like a house; the view changes from where you stand and the world depends on where you place your windows.

Never go to pay your respects at a funeral after a three-martini lunch.

Timor-Leste (also known as East-Timor) was the last country to be admitted to the United Nations. Following Switzerland, in 2002, it became the 191st member. Timor-Leste is an Island off the coast of SouthEast Asia and Australia. It also happens to be the poorest country in the world, with a purchasing
(or lack of) power parity of $400.

Fit is the new Rich

The impossible lives right next door to the possible. People ring its doorbell by accident everyday.

As we get older; it becomes harder to kid ourselves.

To live a full life one must keep all of the following in balance as well as given the same level of importance: love, career, friends, family, hobbies, motherhood. Become obsessed with one and it throws everything off.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Tell the people you love you love them, cause you never know when they'll be taken away.

Sometimes life just feels like you've stepped into a pile of shit on the day you forgot to wear shoes.

The only things you regret on your deathbed are the experiences you never had.

Always stir your martinis never shake, it just gets cloudy, and who wants to drink a spermy looking martini?

s = ut + 1/2*a*t^2

v = u + at

v^2 = u^2 + 2as

You cannot call yourself an adult until you can answer the question, What do you really want? in clear, truthful and uncertain terms.

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later.

Always be nice to waiters - they're the ones who decide whether to spit in your food or not.

Never give advice without explaining your costs first.

Be an icebreaker (conversation wise. Don't go around breaking ice, that's just weird).

Next time you see someone handing out leaflets in the street, take one - it'll help them get home faster.

..be Careful where the dog shits ya.


Contributors: soos, sinister greg, farah, amunki, dave, didi, ricky, no static, mto, karpinski, chanad, lina, mahmood, d, randommo, n, tammyp, deniz, mohamed, rf, tibor, sahar, falco, 248am, steve, barrak, jellybean, bonsaim, leena, and me.

special thanks to the proofreading sleuth..

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Vocabulario OCHO

So we’ve reached the 8th installment of this vocabulary building session here at Bahraini Rant incorporated. After this post, the ol’blog would have contributed to 24 new or not so new words in your vocabulary. Anyways, enjoy the words; use them at your discretion. I shall now stop this malarkey and skedaddle back to my life, the real one.

Word #1 Malarkey
Word #2 Lackadaisical
Word #3 Skedaddle


Oh by the way: I am Spartacus.